Common Misconceptions About Secure Attachment - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 478

Jayson coaches the couple, Anya and Bodhi. The last time this couple appeared on the podcast was in episode #364 when they were in the midst of deciding whether to stay together or break up. Since their last appearance, they have grown into a strong and stable couple. In this episode, they discuss the turning point in their relationship that led to them staying together. They also work through current tensions in their relationship related to conflicting schedules and navigating a small living space. You won’t want to miss this insightful conversation.

Timestamps:

• 5:17 - Anya & Bodhi's turning point
• 13:23 - Individual growth
• 20:00 - Getting to the root of relationship tension
• 33:34 - Feeling trapped by a lack of connectedness
• 39:05 - Spontaneity vs. responsibility
• 43:00 - Different schedules
• 47:00 - Helping your partner feel less judged
• 1:00:30 - Being true to yourself vs. being considerate
• 1:08:59 - Action step

Links:

• Coaching a Couple Through Staying Together or Breaking Up – Jayson Gaddis – 364
• FREE Webinar: How To Resolve Conflict & Create Powerful Relationships
• Order Jayson's book: Getting to Zero
• Get 50% off your first month of relationship coaching with the promo code "First50"
• Follow Jayson on social media:
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Jayson is joined by his son Lucian for a conversation about the unique challenges of being a teenager in high school. What are the challenges of being from a relationally focused family? What kinds of stereotypes do teens face? Why do so many parents over-parent their kids? You won’t want to miss this candid father-son conversation.

Timestamps:

• 3:52 - Boys in high school
• 5:28 - Social media apps
• 6:19 - Waldorf vs. public high school
• 9:21 - The relational family experiance
• 16:41 - Challenges high school kids face
• 20:25 - Over-parenting
• 23:41 - How to get teenagers involved

Links:

• Apply to Relationship Coach Training
• U.S. listeners, sign up for relationship tips and support direct to your phone by texting this number: 720-704-4850
• Follow Jayson on social media:
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  • LinkedIn
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Is it possible to truly love someone while you’re still infatuated with them? In this episode, Jayson and Ellen talk about the trap of falling in love and why it’s important to learn to live with the reality of who your partner actually is instead of projecting your fantasies onto them. How can you make your partner your priority every day? What should your relationship boundaries be? It’s time to take a deep dive into the world of love after infatuation.

Timestamps:

• 2:16 - Infatuation vs. love
• 6:16 - Reality vs. fantasy
• 20:00 - Accepting people for who they are
• 24:48 - Know your relationship boundaries
• 28:16 - Love after infatuation
• 31:52 - Our impact on others

Links:

• Sign up to get Jayson's weekly newsletter via email
• Enroll in Relationship Mastery
• Follow Jayson on social media:
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  • LinkedIn
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Jayson talks about dealing with division in the world, digital minimalism and getting unstuck in your relationship. Can solving division in the home help make the world a better place? How do you know when you’re stuck as a couple? What should you do if you’re stuck? Would you like to be the next guest on The Relationship School Podcast? Listen in to find out more!

Timestamps:

• 4:01 - Couples, how do you know when you're stuck?
• 11:47 - Dealing with division
• 19:25 - Action steps

Links:

• FREE Webinar: How To Resolve Conflict & Create Powerful Relationships
• Follow Jayson on social media:
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Jason coaches two women live on the podcast. How should you deal with the experience of a long-term partner ghosting you? What should you do when you feel self-doubt and loneliness? How can you find meaning in the end of a long-term relationship? You won’t want to miss the chance to sit in on this powerful coaching session with Jayson, Katie and Camille.

Timestamps:

• 4:09 - Katie's story
• 8:27 - Being there for yourself
• 16:26 - Katie's personal growth journey
• 26:17 - Camille's story
• 29:56 - Dealing with a partner who ghosted
• 37:46 - Finding meaning in the end of a relationship
• 46:51 - Finding your anchor

Links:

• Order Jayson's book: Getting to Zero
• Get 50% off your first month of relationship coaching with the promo code "First50"
• The End The Struggle With Him Roadmap & Monthly Group Coaching Membership
• Follow Jayson on social media:
  • Instagram
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  • LinkedIn
  • TikTok

Helping children learn to be financially responsible is one of the most important jobs that parents have. James Ure joins Jayson to talk about how a family economy can help you give your child the best chance to achieve success and independence when they leave home. Should you pay your child for chores? How much of an allowance should you give your child? What is the difference between bribery and empowerment? How can you teach your child the importance of saving, investing, and giving to charity? You won’t want to miss this insightful conversation.

Timestamps:

• 8:31 - What is a family economy?
• 13:55 - Creating incentives for kids
• 25:55 - Tracking a family economy without an app
• 37:41 - Using money and screentime as motivators
• 41:54 - Bribing vs. empowering
• 45:37 - Implementing a family economy
• 53:31 - The Greenlight app
• 57:46 - Big purchases
• 1:01:09 - Where to find James
• 1:02:34 - James' advice for high school students
• 1:03:40 - Action steps

Links:

• Apply to Relationship Coach Training
• U.S. listeners, sign up for relationship tips and support direct to your phone by texting this number: 720-704-4850
• Enroll in Relationship Mastery
• Follow Jayson on social media:
  • Instagram
  • YouTube
  • LinkedIn
  • TikTok

Jayson and Ellen team up to talk about working with men in coaching and therapy. How can you tell when a man is ready to grow? How does couples' work help men? What are the advantages of attending a men’s group? Are men more comfortable with male or female therapists? If you’re a man or you have men in your life, you won’t want to miss this insightful conversation.

Timestamps:

• 6:16 - Ways that men get stuck
• 10:52 - Working through men's defensiveness
• 13:56 - Recognizing men's issues
• 17:27 - How male clients project
• 21:10 - Are men more comfortable with male or female therapists
• 24:48 - Men's groups
• 29:44 - How couples work helps men
• 31:35 - How to get men to change
• 34:09 - Making sure a man is ready to grow
• 36:34 - Action steps

Links:

• Free Webinar: Relational Warriorship for Men
• The End The Struggle With Him Roadmap & Monthly Group Coaching Membership
• Follow Jayson on social media:
  • Instagram
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  • LinkedIn
  • TikTok

Bruce was one of THE pivotal factors in helping me marry my wife before she slammed the door shut on me. Hear that story in this episode and why it’s so common for couples to struggle. Bruce offers a powerful frame for relationship and intimacy and makes the distinction between the developmental work we need to do, and the possibility that we are “already free” in relationship. Check it.

Timestamps:

• 4:29 - Jayson's history with Bruce
• 7:22 - Dealing with contradictions in relationships
• 15:11 - The value of separateness
• 23:04 - The practice of personal responsibility
• 27:26 - Bruce shares about his marriage
• 32:37 - How Bruce became a therapist
• 38:42 - What is a successful relationship?
• 43:19 - The impact of parenting on Bruce
• 47:13 - Sexual intimacy in a long-term relationship
• 55:43 - Personal responsibility
• 1:01:19 - Bruce's book, Already Free

Links:

• Bruce Tift's Website
• 10 Agreements of an Indestructible Marriage
• Order Jayson's book: Getting to Zero
• Get 50% off your first month of relationship coaching with the promo code "First50"
• Sign up to get Jayson's weekly newsletter via email
• Follow Jayson on social media:
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  • TikTok
  • Twitter
  • Facebook

What’s wrong with wanting a healthy relationship? Jayson and Ellen are here to break it down. "Healthy" is a poorly defined concept, which can create nebulous expectations that are impossible to live up to. If you’ve written yourself off because you believe you’re incapable of having healthy relationships, it’s time to level up and start focusing on how you can foster growth-oriented relationships going forward. Tune in to learn how you can set realistic expectations and define the relationship experience that you want. It’s time to plan for reality and aspire for greatness.

Timestamps:

• 4:57 - Defining what “healthy” means
• 7:09 - Deciding on the relationship experience you want
• 8:41 - Creating realistic expectations
• 11:14 - Plan for reality, aspire for greatness
• 15:00 - Don’t write yourself off
• 16:49 - Growth oriented relationships
• 19:17 - Action steps

Links:

• U.S. listeners, sign up for relationship tips and support direct to your phone by texting this number: 720-704-4850
• Follow Jayson on social media:
  • Instagram
  • YouTube
  • LinkedIn
  • TikTok
  • Twitter
  • Facebook

Ellen joins Jayson to discuss menopause and its impact on relationships. What is menopause? Do women in non-western cultures experience menopause differently than women in western cultures? What happens to women’s hormones during menopause? What about hormone replacement therapy? Tune in to hear Jayson and Ellen share their personal experiences surrounding menopause and learn how you can nurture your relationships through the menopausal journey.

Timestamps:

• 3:34 - What is menopause?
• 7:02 - How does menopause impact relationships?
• 13:53 - How does culture impact the experience of menopause?
• 16:50 - Why are resources for menopause scarce?
• 19:01 - What happens to women’s hormones during menopause?
• 21:54 - Jayson’s perspective
• 30:40 - Keeping your partner in mind
• 37:24 - Resource recommendation
• 41:51 - HRT

Links:

• Enroll in Relationship Mastery
• Get 50% off your first month of relationship coaching with the promo code "First50"
• Follow Jayson on social media:
  • Instagram
  • YouTube
  • LinkedIn
  • TikTok