Deconstructing Purity Culture

To conclude our season on deconstruction we invited licensed counselor, Mark LaFleur, to join the conversation. Mark has walked this path with many of his clients and is able to give a little insight on how we can meet someone in their journey of deconstruction and offer a safe place to process.

Guest: Mark LaFleur, for contact information, visit www.marklafleur.com

Deconstruction around suffering often happens because our theology and lived experience do not match up. Why would a loving and good God allow so many terrible things to happen in the world? Paul, Alyssa and Larry take on this challenging topic and talk about their own experiences.

Sources:

• This Too Shall Last, by KJ Ramsey
• “There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark.” - Stephen Hawking, Stephen Hawking Was an Atheist. Here’s What He Said About God, Heaven, and His Own Death, com
• Summary of Job, The Message Bible, by Eugene Peterson
• Peace is a Practice, by Morgan Harper Nichols
• A Grace Disguised, by Jerry Sittser
• Where is God Where it Hurts? by Philip Yancey
• Community Groups: GriefShare, Divorce Care, Overcome – org

In this episode Paul, Alyssa, and Larry discuss and deconstruct the cultural system of patriarchy and look to see how this hierarchy of power has been reinforced by mainstream Christianity. As followers of Jesus what does the Bible say about gender? And are there expectations of our roles within society? Listen and join the conversation today!

Notes:

• Google Dictionary: Patriarchy
• The Biblical Narrative, by Robert Alter
• The Making of Biblical Womanhood, by Beth Allison Barr
• Paul and Gender, by Cynthia Westfall
• “Holding your power and using your resources in service of others.” John Dickson, Humilitas

What is the meaning behind Jesus’ death and resurrection? Christians believe that Jesus’ sacrifice reconciled the relationship between humankind and our creator, God. However, it is not quite that simple. Over thousands of years, theologians and followers of Jesus have tried to articulate this nuance through metaphors, emphasizing some aspects of Jesus’ sacrifice over others. In this conversation, we aim to dissect the different theories of atonement and bring clarity to the larger picture of the gospel.

Notes:

• “Toxic forms of substitutionary atonement” in Love Wins, by Rob Bell
• Amazing Grace, Kathleen Norris
• The Bible Project podcast
• Movie: Ransom (1996)
• Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis
• Cur Deus Homo - Why God became man
• A Community Called Atonement, by Scott McKnight
• Atonement Theories
  • Penal Substitutionary Atonement
  • Moral Influence Theory, Augustine
  • Ransom Theory
  • Satisfaction Theory of Atonement, Saint Anselm of Canterbury
  • Christus Victor
  • Kaleidoscopic Perspective, by Joel B. Green in The Nature of Atonement
• Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis
• The Crucifixion, by Fleming Rutledge
• Passion of the Cross, by Ronald Rolheiser
• The Cross of Christ, by John Stott

If you grew up in the church in the ‘90s, you probably experienced purity culture—it was the church’s response to the increasing promiscuity in society. Unintentionally, purity culture caused significant harm and didn't fully capture God’s heart towards sex and individual value. In this episode, we share what we believe to be a more biblical view of sex and relationships. We hope you enjoy the conversation.

Notes:

• I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris
• BarlowGirl
• True Love Waits
• WayMaker, by Ann Voskamp
• "However well-intentioned purity culture might have been, it was also guilty of gross errors. It made Christian purity a function of sexual history and behavior, not spiritual rebirth. It saddled women with the responsibility for male lust and failed the victims of sexual abuse. Further, it made unqualified promises of marriage, children, and great sex to everyone who pledged to wait." Jen Pollock Michel in Don’t Overstate the Rewards of Sexual Faithfulness. Don’t Understate Them Either. Christianity Today
• Live No Lies, by John Mark Comer
• Rethinking Sex: A Provocation, by Christine Emba
• The Joe Rogan Experience, Guest Russell Brand
• "What if women are fully human divine image-bearers who should be treated as persons with eternal dignity, rather than sex objects who exist primarily to tempt men and/or satiate men’s appetites? And what if we treated them as such? And didn’t tolerate anyone who does otherwise?" - Emily Hunter McGowin, Theologian, Twitter
• God of All Things: Rediscovering the Sacred in an Everyday World, by Andrew Wilson
• The Intentional Father, by Jon Tyson
• The Great Sex Rescue, by Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach
• Waterstone's Counselor Referral Network

Is the Bible trustworthy? Is the Bible true? Scripture has been misused and abused, so deconstruction of the Bible often centers around these two questions. In this episode, we discuss what the Bible is, and how it might apply to our life today.

Notes:

• "The faithful testimony of the faithful." - J.I. Packer, Knowing God
• Judah & Tamar, March 27, 2022, Paul Joslin
• How to Read the Bible, The Bible Project
• How (Not) to Read the Bible, by Dan Kimball
• The Reason for God, by Tim Keller
• Alpha Course at Waterstone

This season Paul Joslin, Larry Renoe, and Alyssa Frisbie are pulling apart Christian beliefs and talking about the process of deconstruction. They're covering the most questioned topics within Christianity (atonement, purity culture, patriarchy, suffering, etc.) and dissecting Scripture, in hopes that it will help all of us better understand what we believe.

Notes:

• Jacques Derrida: the father of the idea that language is derivative
• Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning, by James Fowler
• The Critical Journey, Stages in the Life of Faith, by Janet Hagberg and Robert Guelich
• Faith After Doubt, by Brian McLaren

Today, we’re having the uncomfortable conversation about living our life in pursuit of comfort. It seems that our culture has bought into the idea that an easy life is a fulfilling life. When we dig a little deeper we have some questions and wonder how often we walk the empty path of least resistance rather than the path that leads to a more fulfilling life with Jesus. 

Notes:

• Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer
• Bible Project Sabbath: https://bibleproject.com/church-at-home/week2-sabbath-rest/

In this episode we’re exploring our tendency to obtain or keep power. Whether this power is within our jobs, relationships, or socio-economic status we are hard-wired to strive for it. Then, once we have it, we tend to approach life out of fear of losing it.

In this episode we’re exploring the big “C” Church and our emphasis on marriage and families. It seems that we’ve defined the ultimate fulfillment of the Christian life as getting married and having a family rather than advancing God’s kingdom and glorifying Him. How do we recognize when we might be holding on too tightly to this cultural expectation and allow the freedom that Jesus has to offer to let go of this idol? Listen to the conversation today!