Podcast Summary
Understanding the Connection Between Stress and Happiness: Mo Gaudet's latest book, 'Unstressable,' explores the relationship between stress and happiness, offering a balanced approach to managing stress and finding joy in life.
Mo Gaudet, the former chief business officer of Google X and author of "Scary Smart," is on a mission to help people find happiness, despite the fact that 91% of us will experience traumatic events in our lives. His latest book, "Unstressable," addresses the pandemic of stress, which is the underlying cause of many health issues. Mo wrote about happiness in his previous books, but after meeting Alice Law, who had experienced numerous stressors in her life, he realized that people cannot be happy if they are stressed. Together, they wrote a balanced book that covers the algorithm of stress and its spiritual or soulful solution. Stress can make us superhuman when we need it, but we don't need it all the time. "Unstressable" offers a comprehensive and balanced approach to managing stress and achieving happiness.
The prolonged activation of stress response can lead to detrimental health effects: Prolonged stress response can negatively impact digestion, muscle recovery, and weight loss
While the initial stress response, often referred to as the "fight or flight" mode, can be beneficial, the prolonged activation of this response due to modern-day stressors can lead to detrimental health effects. The initial response, triggered by the amygdala, results in a surge of hormones like cortisol, which prepares the body for action. However, within 90 seconds, the body should return to its normal state, a process called the negative feedback loop. In our modern world, many stressors are not physical threats, and the resulting stress can persist, leading to chronic stress. This continuous activation of the stress response can negatively impact various body functions, including digestion, muscle recovery, and even weight loss. Therefore, it's crucial to manage stress effectively and maintain a balance between periods of activity and rest.
Dealing with daily stressors can lead to burnout: The Unstressable approach emphasizes not the events, but how we respond to them, to become unstressable
Chronic stress, caused by various medium and small stressors in our daily lives, can lead to burnout, affecting the normal functioning of individuals. Burnout is a pervasive issue, affecting a significant percentage of people in today's modern world. The Unstressable approach, as outlined in the book and community, emphasizes that it's not the events of our lives that stress us, but rather how we deal with them. The promise of Unstressable is not just to de-stress individuals but to make them unstressable. The author, who retreats for extended periods to write and reflect, believes that it's not the length of the retreat that matters, but the way we engage with our lives. He shares that his books, initially long, are condensed for publication. The author's personal experience with loss and success underscores the importance of understanding that it's not external circumstances that cause stress, but our response to them.
Finding joy and fulfillment beyond business success: Even the most successful executives can feel empty and miserable. Finding meaning and purpose beyond accomplishments can lead to true happiness.
Even the most successful business executives can feel empty and miserable, despite their accomplishments. The speaker, who was a highly successful business executive, found himself feeling this way despite his wealth and accomplishments. After his mentor and friend, Ali, passed away, he had a dream that Ali had shared with his daughter, which was to "be everywhere and part of everyone." The speaker took this as a mission to share Ali's teachings and essence with the world. This led him to write a book, Soul For Happy, which shared the lessons he and Ali had learned together. The experience of loss and the desire to honor Ali's legacy helped the speaker find joy and fulfillment beyond his business success.
Discovering the unexpected sources of true happiness and reducing stress: Seek wisdom from others, focus on what truly matters, and make intentional choices to live a more fulfilling life.
Finding true happiness and reducing stress in life often comes from unexpected sources and requires introspection, wisdom from others, and a ruthless focus on what truly matters. The speaker shared his personal journey of dealing with heartbreak and discovering the importance of asking the right questions from a wise mentor, Ali. Through this process, he learned that much of what we do at work is to prove we're alive and not truly contributing to our happiness. By being choosy about the jobs and commitments we take on, we can maximize our impact and live a more unstressed life. The speaker's experience demonstrates the value of seeking wisdom from others, focusing on what truly matters, and making intentional choices to live a more fulfilling life.
Balancing multiple passions for greater impact: Focusing 20% time on each passion can contribute more to the world, staying humble, communicating effectively, and prioritizing happiness are key.
Focusing on making a significant impact in multiple areas, rather than dedicating all of one's time to one, can contribute more to the world. The speaker shares his personal approach of dedicating 20% of his time to each of his passions - happiness and preventing AI misuse. He also emphasizes the importance of staying humble and not letting personal ego interfere with the mission. The speaker's experience shows that being forgotten can actually be beneficial for the mission, as it reduces the potential negative impact of personal criticism or vilification. Additionally, the speaker highlights the importance of effectively communicating the message and making it a priority for individuals to focus on their happiness and well-being.
Measuring success by impact, not just views: Focus on inspiring and creating content, rather than getting bogged down by numbers and measurements. Share the message to make a difference.
The true measure of success in spreading a message isn't just in the number of views or impressions, but in the number of people who take action and share it with others. The speaker emphasized that he values the people who share his content and spread his message, rather than just focusing on the raw numbers. He also shared that he had a realization in 2021 that he is no longer a business executive, but a creative, and that his mission to make a billion people happy wasn't something he chose for himself, but something that chose him. This shift in perspective allowed him to focus on being inspired and creating content, rather than being bogged down by meetings and measurements. Ultimately, the most important thing is to take action, whether that's investing in yourself or investing in others by sharing the message.
See life as an infinite game for personal growth: Approach life with a gamer's mentality, focusing on growth and enjoyment in the present moment, rather than fixating on a distant end goal.
Life can be seen as an infinite game, where the purpose is not to win, but to become the best version of ourselves. We should approach life with a gamer's mentality, focusing on growth and enjoyment in the present moment, rather than fixating on a distant end goal. True gamers don't play to win, but to become the best gamer they can be, and the same applies to our lives. Whether it's in business, relationships, or being a parent, we should strive to improve and prioritize growth over ego. The game of life is all about living fully and engaging in the present moment, playing our best game every day.
Focus on doing your best and continuously improving: By focusing on doing our best and continuously improving, we can find happiness, fulfillment, and make a difference in our own small worlds.
Focusing on doing your best in every situation and continuously improving, rather than fixating on a predetermined life purpose or external expectations, is a key to finding happiness and fulfillment. This approach allows us to accept that we can't change the world entirely, but we can make a difference in our own small worlds, starting with ourselves. By setting our only expectation to perform to the best of our abilities, we can go as far as our potential allows and find contentment in the process. Opportunities for growth and change come abundantly, and it's important to be ready to seize them when they present themselves. Ultimately, this mindset simplifies life and leads to a calm, contented state, regardless of the outcome.
The importance of realistic expectations for happiness: Aim to do your best, connect deeply with others, and focus on personal growth, rather than unrealistic expectations and constant comparison.
Happiness is not just about the events that happen to us, but also about our expectations. While it's important to have ambitions, it's unrealistic to expect to make a billion people happy or answer every message on social media. Instead, we should aim to do our best and connect deeply with others, even if we fall short of our ambitions. It's essential to set realistic expectations and not be too hard on ourselves when we don't meet them. Additionally, it's important to remember that comparison can be deceiving, and we should focus on our own progress rather than comparing ourselves to others. In the end, our purpose in life is to do the best we can and strive for growth, not perfection.
Understanding stress as a manageable load: Stress is not about challenges or goals, but the relationship between them and our resources to cope. Approach stress as a manageable load to increase ability and prevent burnout.
Success is not about avoiding challenges or setting unrealistic goals, but rather about doing the best we can in each moment and growing our capabilities to handle greater challenges over time. Stress, for instance, is not determined by the challenges we face, but by the relationship between those challenges and our resources to cope with them. By understanding stress in this way, we can approach it as a manageable load that we can work to increase our ability to carry. This perspective can help us deal more effectively with stressors and prevent burnout, allowing us to continue growing and reaching for new heights. The speaker's approach to writing about complex concepts, like stress, in algorithmic formats, can also be a valuable tool for understanding and managing these challenges.
Recognizing and managing internal obsessions after trauma: Trauma recovery is possible, but internal obsessions can prolong negative effects. Recognize and address these obsessions, and manage daily stressors to build resilience.
While some traumas are outside of our control, our reactions to them are within our control. Statistics show that the majority of people who experience trauma will recover within a few months, and many will even experience post-traumatic growth. However, some people may become obsessed with the trauma, which can prolong the negative impact. Obsessions are internally generated and can be as debilitating as external traumas. It's important to recognize and address these obsessions before they become all-consuming. Additionally, there are numerous small stressors, or "noises," in our daily lives that can accumulate and contribute to feelings of overwhelm. By being aware of these stressors and taking steps to manage them, we can build resilience and bounce back from adversity.
Identifying and addressing controllable sources of stress: Through daily routine changes and challenging negative thoughts, we can reduce stress by focusing on controllable factors. Experimenting with new things can lead to discovering our passions and strengths.
We have the power to reduce stress in our lives by identifying and addressing the sources of stress that are within our control. This can involve making changes to our daily routines, such as eliminating a stressful commute or finding ways to make it more enjoyable. It also means challenging negative thoughts and beliefs that contribute to stress and anxiety. Malcolm Gladwell's theory in "Outliers" that we have the potential to be good at several things, but the one we dedicate 10,000 hours to is the one we'll excel at, highlights the importance of experimenting and trying new things to discover what truly resonates with us. However, it's essential to remember that not everything we try will be a perfect fit, and it's often through the process of elimination that we ultimately discover what we should focus on. If you're unsure about what direction to take, consider seeking guidance from resources like The Digital Playbook, which can provide a roadmap for building a successful online business.
Follow your intuition when mind and heart don't align: Intuition, a non-physical aspect of ourselves, can provide answers to complex problems and aligning mind, heart, and body leads to a fulfilling life.
Aligning your mind, heart, and body is important for personal fulfillment and success. However, if these elements don't align, it may be necessary to follow your intuition or heart, even if it goes against your mind's rationalization. Intuition, a non-physical aspect of ourselves, may decline with age and filters, but it has the ability to experience and understand beyond the physical limits of time and space. It's important to recognize the difference between our physical form and our consciousness, and to trust our intuition as it can provide answers to complex problems, even if we can't explain why. Ultimately, striving for a career or passion that aligns with all three elements - mind, heart, and body - leads to a more fulfilling and enjoyable life.
Intuition and Reflection Complement Data and Logic: Trust intuition, reflect, and balance action and reflection for effective decision-making.
Intuition and reflection are essential complements to data and logic in decision-making. The speaker, who has worked with many brilliant mathematicians, emphasizes the importance of trusting one's intuition, especially when there's a discrepancy between heart, intuition, and actions. However, our modern workplaces prioritize data-driven, logical, and process-driven approaches, often dismissing intuition. The speaker suggests that intuition should be seen as a signal to reflect and use one's mind to evaluate the situation, or, for the more advanced, to simply follow intuition and take action. The speaker also shares his personal experience of working less and allowing his mission to take on a life of its own, which allowed him more time for reflection and creativity. The speaker advocates for a balance between action and reflection, encouraging us to slow down and reflect on topics deeply, rather than constantly striving for more and working harder. He also shares his eclectic religious background and how studying various religions led him to a personalized spirituality.
Focusing on the core teachings of every religion: Keep the good teachings, discard the bad. Core teachings promote love, compassion, and morality.
While every religion has a beautiful core of compassion, love, and morality, it's important to remember that human input and interpretation can sometimes lead to negative aspects. The core teachings, such as not cheating on your spouse or having compassion for others, are universally beneficial. Comparing this to a basket of fruits, we should focus on keeping the good teachings and discarding the bad. When I was 16, I tried to apply this idea to my own faith by questioning the basis of religious teachings using my understanding of mathematics and science. The core teachings of every religion, if verified, are plausible and probable. The ongoing debate between religious and non-religious people is that each side believes the other is lying. However, neither side can definitively prove their stance, making it essential to focus on the core teachings that promote love, compassion, and morality.
The improbability of random complexities: The speaker argues that the probability of complexities arising randomly is extremely low and suggests we focus on our spiritual side as a more probable explanation for our existence
While it's theoretically possible that everything in the universe, including complex organisms and structures, could have arisen randomly given infinite time, the reality is that we didn't have infinite time. The speaker argues that the probability of certain complexities arising randomly is extremely low, using examples like the evolution of Homo sapiens or the formation of a single protein. He suggests that it's more probable that we are the result of design, and even raises the possibility that this entire universe could be a simulation. Given the vast amount of time and resources required for random processes to produce complexities, the speaker argues that it's worth focusing on our spiritual side and investing in our non-physical form, which is timeless.
Understanding our connection between physical and spiritual forms: Believing in the connection between physical and spiritual forms can help us navigate life's challenges, find peace, and expand our horizons
Our physical and spiritual forms are connected and exist beyond birth and death. This perspective can bring a newfound understanding to life's challenges and help put things in perspective. The vastness of the universe and the insignificance of human concerns in the grand scheme of things can be humbling and motivate us to focus on what truly matters. Our spiritual form is limitless, and the physical form is just a temporary part of the journey. This belief can help us navigate life's difficulties and find peace in the face of loss or adversity. Additionally, it's important to remember that our physical form is on Earth, but our spiritual form is not limited to it. Therefore, we should strive to expand our horizons and consider the bigger picture, including the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead for humanity.
Economic instability causing conflicts and wars: Economic crises can lead to geopolitical conflicts and wars, highlighting the importance of unity and support during difficult times.
Economic instability, such as inflation and economic downturns, can lead to geopolitical conflicts and wars as a means to revive economies. History shows that conflicts often serve as alibis for wars, and the value of money decreases as governments print more of it. The current world is filled with distractions and misinformation, making it challenging for individuals to form informed opinions. The economic crisis we're experiencing today might lead to more conflicts, emphasizing the importance of being unstressed and connected to humanity. The most inspiring stories from history, like the Great Depression, demonstrate that people can come together and help each other during difficult times. The answer to the current challenges lies in returning to our humanness and supporting one another.
Focusing on human values in a technological world: Invest in happiness, compassion, and love to improve individual life and make a difference in the world, despite cultural differences and technological advancements.
In the age of technology and artificial intelligence, the human values of happiness, compassion, and love are more important than ever. These values are shaped by our individual value sets, which vary across cultures and societies. The only universal agreements among humans are the desire to be happy, make others happy, and give and receive love. In a world that can be confusing and divisive, focusing on these values can lead to a better life for individuals. Additionally, as AI magnifies who we are, it's essential to invest in ourselves and strive to become unstressable and magnify happiness, compassion, and love in our interactions with others. The impact of individuals who embody these values can be significant, and every person has the potential to make a difference.
The Dangers of Consuming Too Much: Excessive consumption of material possessions or supplements can lead to a hedonistic lifestyle, but beyond a certain point, additional wealth or possessions don't significantly increase happiness. Surrounding oneself with the right people and finding joy in experiences can contribute to a more balanced life.
Consuming excessively, whether it's through material possessions or supplements, can lead to a hedonistic lifestyle that may not contribute to overall happiness or health. The speaker's personal experience involved taking micronutrient supplements without knowing their effectiveness, but finding a solution through Bionic's customized formulas based on regular blood work. However, the desire for more, whether it's wealth or material possessions, can be a never-ending cycle. Research shows that beyond a certain point, additional income or possessions do not significantly increase happiness. Surrounding oneself with a wealthy or influential friend group can also influence one's values and goals. It's crucial to be mindful of who we spend time with, both in person and online, as they can significantly impact our mindset and priorities. Ultimately, finding joy in experiences or hobbies, rather than using them to serve our ego, can contribute to a more fulfilling and balanced life.
The joy of acquiring new things is short-lived: Practicing minimalism can help break the cycle of constant desire, reduce stress, and find greater joy in the present moment by letting go of possessions and focusing on contentment.
No matter how much wealth or material possessions we accumulate, we will always find something new to desire. The speaker shares his personal experience of constantly striving for more, only to realize that the joy of acquiring new things is short-lived. He suggests practicing minimalism as a way to break this cycle and find greater joy in giving away possessions and decluttering one's life. The speaker also emphasizes that the stress in our lives comes not from external events or choices, but from our engagement in the never-ending game of acquiring more. The minimalist approach, therefore, is not just about possessions, but also about learning to let go and finding contentment in the present moment.
Assessing the value of our possessions and relationships: Examine what brings us happiness and let go of clutter in life, whether it's physical possessions or long-distance relationships, to live more joyfully and effectively.
It's essential to assess the value of the information and relationships that consume our time and energy. The speaker shares his experience of feeling overwhelmed by the clutter of digital communication and how he found joy in starting fresh. He encourages us to examine our possessions, friendships, and even long-distance relationships to identify what truly brings us happiness and let go of what doesn't. The speaker's wife, who only buys things she loves, offers an alternative approach to living with intention. Long-distance relationships, while challenging, can work for some people, but it's crucial to find the right partner. Ultimately, the key is to declutter our lives, both physically and emotionally, to live more joyfully and effectively.
Essential elements of a fulfilling relationship: partnership, passion, romance, friendship, companionship, tenderness, and support.: Understand and prioritize the seven essential elements of a relationship: partnership, passion, romance, friendship, companionship, tenderness, and support. Deliberately create opportunities for passion and romance to maintain these elements, and recognize that the foundation of passion and romance may differ for men and women.
When we go looking for relationships, we're not just searching for love, but rather a combination of seven essential elements: partnership, passion, romance, friendship, companionship, tenderness, and support. These elements, often referred to as the "perfects," are crucial for a fulfilling relationship. The honeymoon period, characterized by high passion and romance, is a result of uncertainty and tension, which are essential for these emotions. However, as relationships progress, they tend to prioritize companionship and predictability, which can lead to a decline in passion and romance. To maintain these elements, it's important to create opportunities for passion and romance deliberately, rather than letting them fade away. Additionally, it's essential to understand that the foundation of passion and romance for men and women can differ. Despite this, love remains the foundation of all seven elements.
Effective communication and self-improvement in relationships: Communication and self-improvement are essential for building a successful and loving relationship. Focus on shared values and let go of insignificant factors to increase the odds of compatibility.
Effective communication is the foundation for achieving the seven "perfects" in a relationship, but it's not a guarantee for love. Love is a separate entity and requires both partners to work on themselves to increase the chances of compatibility. The speaker shares his personal experience of failing in relationships due to lack of communication and interest, but also finding success when he and his current partner, Hannah, both worked on themselves and shared common values. The odds of finding a perfect match with all seven criteria are extremely low, so it's essential to focus on the most important criteria and let go of insignificant factors. In summary, communication, self-improvement, and shared values are key to building a successful and loving relationship.
Make your partner's space in your life their favorite: Invest time and effort to make your partner's presence in your life cherished and valued, prioritize their happiness, and communicate openly to build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.
In relationships, if you want to keep someone in your life forever, make the time and space they occupy in your life their favorite place. This means respecting each other's needs, boundaries, and priorities, and making an effort to make your life enriching for each other. Disagreements and misalignments are inevitable, but if the square foot next to you is their favorite place on the planet, they'll be willing to work through these issues. The key is to communicate openly and make each other's happiness a priority. Most relationships break due to a lack of return on investment (ROI), but by making the time and space next to you valuable, you can build a strong foundation for a lasting partnership.