E57: How She Built Her Confidence, and Then an Empire with Krissy Cela

Podcast Summary

• Honesty and authenticity in building a successful business and personal brand: Focusing on the message and purpose behind actions, rather than external appearances, is crucial for building a successful business and personal brand. Judgments based on looks or social media images can be misleading and don't reflect reality.

  Honesty and authenticity are essential in building a successful business and personal brand, especially for women who often face unfair judgments based on their appearance. Chrissy Chella, an entrepreneur and fitness creator, shared her inspiring story of humble beginnings and overcoming bullying as an immigrant in the UK to build multiple multi-million pound businesses. She emphasized that the credit she receives comes from seeing other women thrive and succeed, not from personal accolades or awards. The conversation highlighted the importance of focusing on the message and purpose behind one's actions, rather than external appearances. It's crucial to remember that judgments based on looks or social media images can be misleading and often don't reflect the reality of a person's accomplishments and character.

• Being true to oneself is the key to success: Embrace who you are to truly succeed and be happy. Authenticity and transparency build strong connections and communities.

  Being true to oneself is the key to success. Chrissy, despite facing judgments and criticisms, has always remained authentic and transparent. Her genuine desire to help others and build a community for women has resonated with people and set her apart. The importance of being one's best self and not trying to fit in or please everyone was emphasized. The speakers shared their personal experiences of struggling to be true to themselves in the past, but learning that the only way to truly succeed and be happy is by embracing who they are. Authenticity and transparency are powerful tools that can help individuals connect with others and build a strong community.

• Childhood bullying shapes self-confidence: Past experiences, even seemingly insignificant ones, can deeply impact self-confidence. Self-love and self-care are essential for rebuilding after negative experiences.

  Our past experiences, no matter how trivial they may seem, can significantly impact our self-confidence and self-esteem. The speaker shared her experience of being bullied in school due to her appearance, which left her feeling unwanted and unworthy. This experience stayed with her for a long time, causing her to believe that she wasn't good enough for others. However, after being cheated on and feeling constantly angry and hateful, she realized that she needed to focus on herself and do things for her own happiness. This realization led her to join a gym and start working out, which helped her build confidence and strength. The speaker emphasized that it took a lot to break her down, but once she was, she became determined to rebuild herself. The experience of being bullied in school was a turning point in her life, and it taught her the importance of self-love and self-care.

• Personal struggles as motivators: Believing in oneself and using past struggles as motivation can lead to great achievements.

  Personal struggles and feelings of inadequacy can serve as powerful motivators for individuals to overcome challenges and achieve great things. The speaker shared how her experiences with depression, bullying, and feelings of inadequacy led her to find solace and escape at the gym, which became a source of therapy and self-improvement. This feeling of escaping and bettering herself eventually led her to set ambitious goals and eventually find success. Additionally, the speaker mentioned how her early experiences shaped her belief in herself and her ability to achieve her goals, even when faced with adversity. The power of belief and self-motivation played a significant role in her journey towards success.

• Discipline leads to positive life changes: Becoming more disciplined through self-improvement can lead to improved focus, academic success, a healthier mindset, and better relationships.

  Self-improvement and discipline can have a positive impact on various aspects of your life, creating a domino effect. This was evident in Chrissy's experience, as she became more disciplined through training at the gym, which led to improved focus, academic success, and ultimately, a more confident and healthy mindset. This newfound confidence helped her attract the right romantic partner, Jack, and build a successful business with him. However, Chrissy also emphasized that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. It's crucial to prioritize personal growth and self-love before seeking a romantic relationship. Additionally, she shared that while monogamy can be valuable, relationships can still grow apart due to unforeseen circumstances, and it's essential to communicate openly and address challenges in a mature and amicable way.

• Maintaining a romantic relationship in a business partnership: Admiring and loving a business partner doesn't guarantee a romantic connection, and growing apart can lead to a void that's hard to fill.

  Maintaining a romantic relationship while working closely together can be challenging and may ultimately lead to separation. The speaker in this conversation deeply admired and loved her former partner, Jack, who was an incredible man in every aspect. However, they grew apart and it would take someone very special and confident to fill the void he left. The couple co-founded a successful business, Tone and Sculpt, and their respect and love for each other were evident to their employees. Despite seeing him every day and speaking to him regularly, the speaker no longer felt the romantic spark and viewed him more as a best friend. The question remains whether the traditional advice to marry one's best friend applies in this situation.

• The speaker's business partner holds a significant place in her life: The speaker values her business partnership and personal connection with her ex-partner, acknowledges her growth since their separation, but ultimately wishes for his happiness

  Despite not being together, the speaker's business partner, Jack, holds a significant place in her life. Their strong business partnership and personal connection have created a deep bond, making it difficult for her to imagine life without him. Although she has learned a lot about herself since their separation, she acknowledges that she would feel some type of way if Jack were to be in a new relationship. However, she ultimately wishes for his happiness and would be content if he found someone genuine. The speaker's introspection on her past relationship with Jack led her to question the purpose of her business and the importance of her business partner in her life.

• Recognizing Insecure Men's Patterns: Successful women should not let insecure men dictate their decisions, prioritize the impact on others, and focus on their goals rather than numbers.

  Successful women may encounter insecure men who try to control them or intimidated by their accomplishments. Chrissy shares her personal experiences where men have tried to sway her from her goals and projects due to their insecurities. She emphasizes that it's essential for women to recognize these patterns and not let insecure men dictate their decisions. Additionally, Chrissy reflects on her past obsession with numbers, such as followers and likes, and how it took away from her focus on the reason she started her journey in the first place. Now, she prioritizes the impact she has on others and trusts that her success will come naturally.

• Finding fulfillment in being present for others: Some individuals prioritize emotional support and presence over material possessions and accolades. The responsibility of a large following requires acknowledging and validating people's experiences.

  Success and material possessions hold little value for some individuals, and their focus lies in being present and providing emotional support to others. The speaker shared how they don't seek attention or accolades and instead find fulfillment in being a friend and listening to those in need. They also acknowledged the responsibility and emotional weight that comes with having a large following and the importance of acknowledging and validating people's experiences, even if they can't offer solutions. The speaker also revealed their personal struggle with love and how they can fall deeply in love but also fall out of love quickly, which they dislike about themselves.

• Desiring a partner with similar drive and ambition: Recognize the importance of self-reflection and acceptance in forming healthy relationships. Accept differences rather than trying to change partners.

  Being overly defensive and seeking intense passion in relationships can lead to frustration and confusion. The speaker expresses a desire for a partner who matches her drive and ambition, but also recognizes that such a partner might be overwhelming. She also acknowledges the importance of accepting and appreciating the differences between herself and her partner, rather than trying to change them. The speaker's background of immigrating with her family and experiencing separation upon arrival may have influenced her strong work ethic and desire for control in her relationships. Overall, the key takeaway is the importance of self-reflection and acceptance in forming healthy, compatible relationships.

• Childhood experiences shape our values and relationships: Upbringing with financial struggles instilled work ethic and ambition, but parental gambling caused strain. Unwavering motherly love helped overcome difficulties. Values hard work and ambition, struggle with partners lacking same drive.

  Childhood experiences significantly shape our values and expectations in relationships. The speaker's upbringing, marked by hard work and financial struggles, instilled in them a strong emphasis on hard work and ambition. However, their parents' issues with gambling caused strain and pain. Despite these challenges, the speaker's mother's unwavering love and belief in her husband helped them overcome their difficulties. As a result, the speaker values hard work and ambition deeply, and finds it difficult to be in relationships with those who don't share these values. The speaker's experiences also highlight the impact of cultural differences on family dynamics and the importance of understanding and respecting these differences.

• Navigating Cultural Differences in Relationships: Understanding and adapting to cultural differences is crucial for successful relationships. Effort, communication, and flexibility are key to bridging gaps and finding common ground.

  Cultural differences can lead to misunderstandings and challenges in relationships. The speaker shares her personal experience of growing up in a Mediterranean family with strong values of togetherness and hospitality, contrasted with her encounters with English partners and their different family dynamics. She emphasizes that this doesn't mean one culture is better than the other, but rather, it requires effort and adaptability to find common ground. The speaker also discusses the pressure women face to get married and have children by a certain age, and the challenges of maintaining a healthy relationship while running a business. She explains that being an entrepreneur means constantly thinking about her companies, which can make it difficult to fully engage with her partner and create feelings of loneliness. Overall, the speaker's message is that relationships require effort, understanding, and communication, especially when dealing with cultural differences and the demands of a busy lifestyle.

• Entrepreneurship's Challenges and Rewards: Entrepreneurship involves mental and physical challenges, but fulfillment comes from helping others and focusing on the journey, not just the end goal. Overcoming unexpected technical issues requires resilience and support.

  Entrepreneurship comes with significant challenges, both mentally and physically, and the pursuit of success often involves long hours, self-criticism, and personal sacrifice. Despite these challenges, many entrepreneurs find fulfillment in helping others and witnessing their transformations. Goals and tangible achievements can provide temporary satisfaction, but they often lead to a sense of anti-climax. Instead, entrepreneurs often focus on the journey and the impact they can make. One of the most significant challenges can be unexpected technical issues, as was the case when a woman in tech faced a complete shutdown of her app, resulting in financial losses and uncertainty. However, with resilience and support from partners, entrepreneurs can overcome these obstacles and continue to build and grow their businesses.

• Mental health struggles are common, even for successful people: Keep pushing through mental health challenges, prioritize self-care, and never give up on hope and resilience.

  Mental health struggles are a common experience, even for those who appear to have it all together. Chrissy shared her personal experiences of battling depression and how she's learned to keep going despite the darkest of times. She emphasized the importance of perseverance and doing things for oneself, even when it feels impossible. Despite her success, she still grapples with doubts and fears about the future, particularly regarding love and relationships. The ongoing nature of mental health challenges was a recurring theme, with the need to keep pushing through and not giving up. Ultimately, Chrissy's message is one of hope and resilience, encouraging everyone to prioritize their mental wellbeing and keep moving forward, no matter what.

• Growing a Business and Embracing Personal Change: Embrace growth, self-awareness, and personal compromise in business and life. Understand that growth and success have no end point, and recognize your desires and limitations.

  Rapid business growth and personal development can come with unexpected challenges, requiring self-reflection and compromise. The speaker, Tony Scott, shares his experience of growing his business from a team of two to 22 in just 12 months, acknowledging the need for self-awareness and adjustment. He emphasizes the importance of recognizing one's own desires and limitations, as well as the importance of understanding that growth and success do not come with an end point. The speaker also touches upon the topic of romantic relationships and the societal norms surrounding marriage, questioning if it is necessary for everyone. In essence, the key takeaway is the importance of embracing growth, self-awareness, and personal compromise in various aspects of life.

• Unique perspectives on marriage and weddings: What matters most in relationships is understanding and connection between two people, not a piece of paper. Prioritize self-care and living in the moment.

  People have unique perspectives and desires when it comes to marriage and weddings. Some value the formality and grandeur of a wedding ceremony, while others prefer an intimate gathering with close friends and family. Ultimately, what defines a meaningful relationship is not a piece of paper, but the understanding and connection between two people. Additionally, it's essential to prioritize self-care and living in the moment, as life is precious and fleeting. The speaker expressed a fear of not living and a desire to be fully present in experiences, such as skipping, which allows her to be fully engaged in the activity and forget about other distractions.

• Reflecting on deathbed thinking to prioritize joy and fulfillment: Consider what you would regret not having done if you were to die soon to prioritize joy and fulfillment, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone.

  It's essential to make time for things that bring us joy and fulfillment, even if it feels challenging to do so. The speaker shared how she finds herself fully present and alive during activities like skipping and training, but struggles to take time off for herself despite knowing it's something she would regret if she were to die. This concept, often referred to as "deathbed thinking," encourages us to reflect on what truly matters in life and prioritize those things accordingly. By asking ourselves what we would regret not having done if we were to die soon, we can gain clarity on our priorities and make changes to live more in alignment with them. The speaker acknowledged that it's not always easy to make these changes, but encouraged the listener to consider the importance of taking time for oneself and pursuing passions, even if it means stepping out of our comfort zones.

• The importance of being there for loved ones: Make the first move in relationships and prioritize genuine connections, even if it means reaching out to those who may not always initiate contact.

  The people in our lives may not always express their needs or feelings openly, and it's essential to make an effort to communicate and prioritize relationships. The speaker shared a personal experience of a friend, Holly, who had given him a home when he was homeless but never mentioned it. When Holly was dying, she expressed regret for not reaching out earlier due to fear of disturbing him. This moment made the speaker realize the importance of being there for loved ones and encouraging them to call or reach out when they need support. It's crucial to remember that people may not call or reach out due to feelings of busyness or fear of disturbance, and it's up to us to make the first move and ensure them that we are always there for them. Additionally, having fewer but genuine friends is better than having a large number of acquaintances, and virtual communities or social media can provide a sense of connection and understanding that goes beyond physical presence.

• The Power of Authenticity and Empathy in Building a Genuine Online Community: Authenticity and empathy are crucial in creating a genuine online community. Building sustainable habits and disciplines, and having a strong 'why' for pursuing goals, are essential for long-term success.

  Building a genuine community online can bring about a unique sense of connection and positivity. The speaker, a social media influencer, emphasizes the importance of authenticity and empathy towards others, even in the face of negativity. She shares her experience of having a supportive community that understands her humor and vulnerabilities, and how it helps her overcome insecurities and trolls. Moreover, she highlights the significance of creating sustainable habits and disciplines, as opposed to quick-fix solutions, and the importance of having a strong "why" for pursuing goals. Her upcoming book, "Do This For You," is a reflection of these values, aiming to inspire and encourage readers to develop long-term habits and mindsets.

• View health as a fundamental aspect of life: Focus on long-term success by viewing health as a crucial aspect of life, creating a sustainable fitness brand, and embracing a positive, inclusive approach

  Having a sustainable reason for prioritizing health and fitness is crucial for long-term success. It's essential to view health as more than just a chore or a trend, but rather as a fundamental aspect of life that deserves attention and care. Additionally, creating a brand that focuses on sustainability and authenticity, rather than following trends, can lead to long-term trust and loyalty from customers. The inspiring story of Daniel Wilson, a 200-pound African American woman and athlete, shows that fitness is about feeling alive and empowered, regardless of appearance. By focusing on these principles, we can create a more positive and inclusive approach to health and fitness.

• Embracing opportunities for growth and representation: Chrissy uses her influence and success to inspire change and inspire others, recognizing the importance of representation in various industries and the need for self-care and personal growth.

  Chrissy continues to break barriers and make a difference by embracing opportunities for growth and representation, both personally and professionally. During Black Lives Matter week, she received an overwhelming number of speaking requests and invitations due to her success and influence. Instead of turning them down, she chose to take advantage of these platforms to inspire change and inspire others. Chrissy recognizes the importance of representation in various industries, including fitness, and is determined to challenge the status quo. She also acknowledges the need for self-care and personal growth, and is open about her own struggles with balancing her personal and professional life. Overall, Chrissy's message is one of ambition, determination, and authenticity, and she continues to inspire and empower others through her actions and words.