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    E763 Ask Nick - Flirting With an NHL Player

    enJune 17, 2024

    Podcast Summary

    • Children's independence, Job interviewsInstilling independence in children and asking thoughtful questions during job interviews can help set individuals apart. Unrealistic expectations in dating and employment markets, particularly in New York, can make it challenging for older applicants and daters.

      Instilling independence and understanding the reasons behind actions in children is essential. Regarding job interviews, asking thoughtful questions that demonstrate attention and adaptability can set applicants apart. Older applicants may find it challenging to stand out due to unrealistic expectations in dating and employment markets. New York is believed to have the highest dating standards, with 17% of women nationwide refusing to date those earning less than six figures. Unrealistic expectations, fueled by the internet and social media, contribute to the difficulty many people face in finding love.

    • Dating ImbalanceUnrealistic standards and hookup culture contribute to an imbalance in dating culture, where a select few receive the majority of attention and sex, leaving many feeling ignored and leading to poor behavior.

      There's an imbalance in dating culture where a small group of men are getting the majority of attention and sex, leaving a large group of men feeling ignored and leading to poor behavior. This phenomenon is perpetuated by unrealistic standards and the prevalence of hookup culture. Additionally, the expectation of dating a college graduate or someone with a high salary may limit potential partners for some individuals. Ultimately, it's important to look beyond superficial attributes and focus on personality, ambition, and passion when considering potential partners.

    • Men's online portrayal, societal expectationsSocietal perceptions towards men are shifting, leading to negative consequences such as harmful online portrayals and a disconnect between desired partners and available men, potentially challenging heterosexual relationships.

      Societal perceptions and expectations towards men, particularly young men, are shifting dramatically, with potentially negative consequences. The speaker expresses concern over the portrayal of men online, which she believes can be harmful and contribute to the radicalization of some young men. She also notes that there seems to be a growing disconnect between what women want in a partner and the type of men who are being produced by society. The speaker expresses her worry for the future and the potential challenges faced by heterosexual women looking for good men. She also mentions her own experience with meeting a professional athlete and the unexpected nature of their encounter. Overall, the discussion highlights the complexities and nuances of modern relationships and the role that societal expectations and online culture play in shaping them.

    • Setting Boundaries in Casual EncountersBe clear about what you want and set boundaries to avoid disappointment and potential heartache in casual relationships. Be aware of red flags and don't get too invested if the other person isn't on the same page.

      It's important to be clear about what you want in a potential relationship, even if it's casual. In the story shared, the speaker went home with an NHL player after a night of pool and drinks. While they had a good time, the player lied about his age, which was a significant difference for the speaker. Despite this, she continued the interaction and even followed him on social media. However, she acknowledged that he was likely seeing other people and that their connection might not lead to anything serious. The speaker's experience highlights the importance of setting boundaries and being aware of potential red flags, even in casual encounters. It's crucial to know what you're looking for and not get too invested if the other person isn't on the same page.

    • Personal Boundaries in DatingUnderstanding and maintaining personal boundaries is crucial in dating, regardless of the person's fame or recognition. Self-worth and emotional health are essential, and focusing on genuine connections can lead to positive and lasting impressions.

      It's essential to establish and respect personal boundaries when dating, regardless of the person's stature or fame. The speaker in this conversation acknowledged that she made exceptions for a professional athlete that she wouldn't typically make for others due to his recognition and appeal. However, she had a past relationship that was toxic and ended in hurt, leading her to avoid emotional involvement. Instead of focusing on clever messages or strategies, it's crucial to understand and maintain self-worth and power in relationships. Ultimately, the athlete's lasting impression of the speaker will depend on their connection beyond a one-night stand or casual encounter.

    • Celebrity Emotional GrowthInteracting with celebrities can hinder emotional growth and lead to potential hurt. Focus on how they make us feel and assess risks before investing emotionally.

      Celebrity or fame can hinder emotional growth, and interacting with someone in the public eye, especially a professional athlete, can lead to vulnerability and potential hurt. The allure and excitement can make us ignore our boundaries and put ourselves in situations that may not be in our best interests. It's essential to focus on how the person makes us feel and assess if the potential risks are worth it. Additionally, recognizing that the person hasn't reached out and focusing on our self-worth can help prevent unnecessary emotional investment.

    • Healthy boundariesReflect on past behaviors, learn, set boundaries, focus on partners who value and respect self-worth, communicate, and trust for healthy relationships

      The speaker believes the listener is not enforcing healthy boundaries in her relationships due to her ego and fear of facing past pain and self-worth issues. She suggests that the listener's recent encounter with a professional athlete was a reminder of her current vulnerability and susceptibility to entering unhealthy relationships. The speaker encourages the listener to reflect on her past behaviors, learn from them, and set boundaries to protect herself from potential harm. The listener should not let her ego or validation needs cloud her judgment and should instead focus on finding a partner who values and respects her. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-worth, communication, and trust in building healthy and fulfilling relationships.

    • Relationship boundariesSpeaker learned to set clear boundaries and value her worth in relationships, rather than compromising self-respect for fleeting connections.

      The speaker encountered a man who displayed immaturity and disrespect in their interaction, and this experience served as a reminder for the speaker to establish healthy boundaries and be mindful of the energy they invest in relationships. The man's behavior, which included making assumptions about the speaker and not making the initial move, demonstrated a lack of consideration and maturity. The speaker recognized that this interaction was a learning experience and an opportunity to grow, and she plans to discuss it further with her therapist. The key takeaway is that the speaker needs to set clear boundaries and value her own worth in relationships, rather than compromising her self-respect for the sake of a fleeting connection. This experience also highlighted the importance of being aware of the energy and investment put into relationships, as this can indicate the level of care and commitment involved.

    • Building Healthy RelationshipsMaintain self-awareness, set boundaries, and acknowledge potential consequences to build stronger, healthier relationships and avoid repeating past patterns.

      It's essential to work on building healthy relationships by maintaining self-awareness, setting boundaries, and acknowledging the potential consequences of our actions. Rachel's experience with her ex and the subsequent fear of repeating past mistakes underscores the importance of these skills. When we meet someone we're attracted to, it's natural to feel excited, but it's crucial to consider what that means for us and our boundaries. By slowing down and enforcing boundaries, we can build stronger, healthier relationships and avoid repeating past patterns. It's essential to remember that we have the power to make choices that serve our best interests and not give it away unnecessarily.

    • Fear of losing family approvalParents' disapproval and past experiences can make individuals hesitant to reveal relationships, even if the partner has changed and shown remorse.

      The speaker's past experiences and her parents' disapproval have made her hesitant to reveal her current relationship with an ex-boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend has expressed regret for their past breakup and has been making efforts to win her back. However, he has a history of addiction issues and toxic relationships, which has caused her parents to disapprove of their relationship. The speaker herself has a track record of making questionable decisions and her parents are protective of her. The ex-boyfriend has shown remorse and taken steps to improve himself, but the speaker is unsure of his sincerity and is afraid of her parents' reaction if she reveals the relationship. She wants to maintain her relationship with her family while also being with her boyfriend, but the fear of losing her family's approval is holding her back.

    • Emotional attachment, risksEmotional attachment can cloud our judgment and lead us to ignore risks in relationships. It's important to acknowledge potential outcomes and communicate openly to minimize negative consequences.

      Recognizing risks and making objective decisions can be challenging when we're emotionally invested in a situation. This was illustrated through a personal story about a woman who struggled to acknowledge the risks in her relationship with a man, despite her parents' concerns. The woman's emotional attachment to the man led her to ignore red flags and make excuses for his behavior. Even after she tried to end the relationship, he re-entered her life, and she found herself letting him back in. The woman's experience highlights the importance of acknowledging risks and being honest with ourselves and loved ones about our decisions. It's also crucial to understand that our parents' concerns come from a place of love and care, and we should empathize with their perspective rather than getting defensive. Ultimately, taking calculated risks is a part of life, but being aware of the potential outcomes and communicating openly with those close to us can help minimize negative consequences.

    • Relationship risksStay informed, self-aware, and communicate maturely when entering relationships with potential risks. Address concerns calmly and prioritize self-growth.

      Entering into a relationship with potential risks requires honesty, self-awareness, and mature communication. The speaker acknowledges the risks involved in her current relationship, particularly her partner's history of alcoholism, and emphasizes the importance of staying informed, checking in with herself, and being open to growth. She encourages the listener to approach difficult conversations with loved ones about the relationship with empathy and maturity, recognizing that their concerns are valid and addressing them calmly. Ultimately, the speaker acknowledges that every relationship comes with risks and encourages the listener to be honest with herself and prioritize self-growth while navigating these risks.

    • Family relationships communicationEffective communication and empathy are essential when addressing family concerns about relationships. Validate parents' feelings while expressing personal desires, remember adults make decisions, and communicate openly about needs and expectations.

      Effective communication and empathy are crucial when dealing with family concerns about relationships. The speaker acknowledges her parents' fears and validates their feelings, while also expressing her own desires and intentions. It's important to remember that as adults, we have the power to make our own decisions, but also to understand that our parents may have concerns based on their love and experiences. By approaching conversations with understanding and respect, we can work towards finding common ground and maintaining healthy relationships with our families. Additionally, it's important to recognize that everyone has different ways of expressing support and love, and it's essential to communicate openly about our needs and expectations.

    • Difficult conversations with loved onesAcknowledging risks, empathizing with others, and maintaining calmness are essential skills for handling difficult conversations with loved ones, leading to stronger relationships and greater understanding.

      Acknowledging risks, empathizing with others, and maintaining calmness are crucial skills for handling difficult conversations, especially with loved ones. These skills can help de-escalate tension and strengthen relationships, even when differences in opinion or decisions arise. It's essential to remember that everyone has unique perspectives and experiences, and validating those feelings can lead to greater understanding and compassion. Additionally, being true to oneself and continuing to reach out to loved ones, even during challenging times, can help bridge gaps and foster healthier communication.

    • Career compatibility vs emotional connectionA successful relationship requires both career compatibility and emotional connection. While it's important to find someone who understands your career and supports your growth, it's equally important to connect on an emotional level and have mutual respect and understanding.

      While age and shared career paths can be attractive factors in a relationship, they are not the only important aspects. The speaker's experience of dating a man in his forties who did the same thing as her in real estate initially seemed promising, but the dynamic became awkward when she revealed her own career accomplishments. The speaker values the idea of being in a partnership with someone who understands her career and supports her growth, but it's also important for her to connect on an emotional level and have mutual respect and understanding. The speaker's past experience with a younger partner who struggled with addiction influenced her desire for a career-oriented partner, but ultimately, she recognizes that a true partnership involves complementing each other's strengths and weaknesses, regardless of industry.

    • Perception of career in datingIdentify and focus on those who appreciate your career passion and ambition, and consider dating older men for a more mature and confident partner.

      The perception of your career and its impact on your dating life depends largely on the mindset of the person you're dating. Some people may see it as an opportunity or a source of inspiration, while others may view it as competition or a threat. The key is to identify and focus on those who appreciate your passion and ambition. Additionally, considering dating older men could potentially help you find someone who is more mature and confident in their own lives. Ultimately, your career should be a source of pride and fulfillment, not a hindrance or a problem in your dating life.

    • Self-worth in datingFocus on finding compatible partners based on shared interests and compatibility, rather than societal expectations, to enhance self-worth in dating.

      Focusing too much on what others think about you and letting it affect your self-worth can be a hindrance in various aspects of life, including dating. It's essential to have self-respect and pride in who you are and what you've accomplished. Everyone struggles with dating, and it's important to remember that people will have different opinions about you. Instead of dwelling on the negative opinions, focus on finding compatible partners by learning about their interests and building connections. The speaker emphasized that being a successful businessperson is an asset, not a liability, and that it's essential to filter potential dating partners based on shared interests and compatibility rather than societal expectations. The speaker also shared their personal experience of struggling with dating and learning to accept the choices they've made, focusing on finding people who appreciate them for who they are.

    • Dating strategies from career successApplying career success mindset and strategies to dating can help save time and energy by evaluating potential partners effectively and avoiding unsuitable matches through ego control and focusing on what truly matters in a relationship.

      Approaching dating with the same mindset and strategies that have led to success in your career can help save time and energy in your romantic life. As you've gained experience and learned what you don't want in relationships, it's essential to apply those lessons to your dating life by evaluating potential partners more effectively and not letting your ego be a hindrance. By learning to control your ego and focusing on what truly matters in a relationship, you can make more informed decisions and avoid wasting time on unsuitable matches. Remember, just as you wouldn't invest in a property without careful consideration, you shouldn't invest your time and energy in relationships that don't align with your goals and values.

    • Matching energy and personal growthFocus on finding someone who matches your energy and personal growth, not just career success, and don't let others' opinions dim your light or make you question your worth.

      When looking for a relationship, it's essential to find someone who matches your energy and is settled in their personal and professional life. However, success and personal accomplishments can be intimidating to some, making it harder to find a compatible partner. Instead of wasting time on people who aren't on the same level, focus on owning your success and seeking out those who appreciate and relate to it. Don't let the opinions of others dim your light or make you question your worth. Remember, it's not about finding someone with the same career but someone who shares similar values, maturity, and goals. Lastly, stop giving energy to those who don't respect your accomplishments or make you feel less than. Your success is a part of who you are, and it's essential to recognize its value and worth.

    • Equality in relationships and businessFinding an equal partner in life and business is crucial for feeling valued and respected. Custom-fit solutions and reliable online infrastructure can lead to fulfilling relationships and successful businesses.

      Finding an equal partner in life is essential for feeling valued and respected. This doesn't mean having identical strengths and weaknesses, but rather treating each other as equals and making each other feel that way. Everyone has unique qualities to offer, and recognizing and appreciating those in a partner can lead to a fulfilling and balanced relationship. Additionally, the discussion touched on the importance of finding a partner who makes you feel like an equal, rather than feeling inferior or superior. This sense of equality can lead to a strong and healthy partnership. In the business world, the discussion also highlighted the importance of having a reliable online infrastructure to support growth and security. From web hosting to virtual servers, having a trusted partner like Pair Networks can provide the necessary tools to ensure a business's online presence can handle growth and provide peace of mind regarding security and updates. Lastly, the discussion mentioned the importance of finding a custom-fit solution, whether it be in a relationship or in business. Indochino's custom tailored suits offer an excellent example of this, allowing customers to choose every detail to create a perfect fit. Similarly, businesses can find the right online infrastructure solution that fits their unique needs and goals.

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    The Viall Files
    enJune 20, 2024

    E764 RR - Summer House, Perfect Match w/ Elys, Bach Bios, Kenya Moore Suspended, and RHONJ

    E764 RR - Summer House, Perfect Match w/ Elys, Bach Bios, Kenya Moore Suspended, and RHONJ

    Welcome back to reality recap. Today we start off with Nick’s first Father’s Day. Then we get to our drama: Kenya Moore being indefinitely suspended from the current season of RHOA, Football Player, Isaiah Bugs being arrested AGAIN, and Lindsay Hubbard being grilled at the Summer House Reunion Part 2. Meanwhile, Elys Hutchinson from Perfect Match joins us to talk about her experience on the show!

    “you know what? I was wrong.”

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    02:55 - Father’s Day
    08:11 - Housekeeping
    11:40 - RHOA
    19:38 - Football
    22:03 - Bachelor Credit
    23:04 - Red Lobster
    30:33 - The Apprentice
    43:28 - Jenn’s Men
    01:08:55 - Picking Noses
    01:14:59 - Summerhouse
    01:33:39 - Perfect Match
    01:40:19 - Elys Joins
    02:02:19 - More Perfect Match
    02:06:20 - RHONJ
    02:11:46 - Outro

    The Viall Files
    enJune 18, 2024

    E763 Ask Nick - Flirting With an NHL Player

    E763 Ask Nick - Flirting With an NHL Player

    Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! We start off the episode by addressing your gentle parenting responses and diving into the ideal dating expectations of men. Then we get to our callers… 

    Our first caller wants to shoot her shot with a professional athlete. Our second caller is back with her ex, and is afraid to tell her parents. Finally, our third caller is thriving in her occupational industry but is afraid it turns off the men she’s dating.

    “As a woman who’s very successful and passionate about her career, that should never feel like a negative for you”

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    The Viall Files
    enJune 17, 2024

    E762 GD w/ West Wilson - Summer House, Girlcode, Sleep Training, and Perfect Match with Tolú

    E762 GD w/ West Wilson - Summer House, Girlcode, Sleep Training, and Perfect Match with Tolú

    Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper, with Summer House’ West Wilson. 

    To start things out, we invite Tolú Ekundare from Netflix’s Perfect Match… She shares her experience matching with Izzy Zapata, Dom Gabriel, and Chris Hahn. Then we get to our interview with West. How was his first season? Who does he still talk to? Does he regret his relationship with Ciara?

    “When someone shows you who they are, believe it.” 

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     Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes.

    Listen To Disrespectfully now!

    Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/disrespectfully/id1516710301

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    Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCh8MqSsiGkfJcWhkan0D0w

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    05:48 - Household Headlines
    12:23 - Love Island
    17:57 - Summerhouse Drama
    21:05 - Captain Lee
    25:39 - Sleep Training
    31:08 - Age
    34:28 - Tolú Interview
    57:10 - Feedback
    01:10:22 - West Interview
    01:17:01 - New To Bravo
    01:19:55 - Saying Weird Things
    01:21:35 - Bachelor
    01:22:37 - Selfie
    01:30:54 - Your Heart
    01:43:15 - Love Languages
    01:50:26 - Dads
    01:54:12 - Team Carl
    01:59:55 - Her Take
    02:04:27 - Open
    02:14:39 - TOH
    02:30:00 - What Is Next
    02:32:52 - Ciara
    02:48:04 - Sports
    02:48:45 - Off Your Chest
    02:49:28 - Coming on ViFi
    02:53:59 - Outro

     

    The Viall Files
    enJune 13, 2024

    E761 RR - Summer House Reunion, Perfect Match w/ Kaz, Sandoval Drama, and Traitors Cast

    E761 RR - Summer House Reunion, Perfect Match w/ Kaz, Sandoval Drama, and Traitors Cast

    Welcome back to reality recap. Today we discuss all of the drama… ranging from Billie Lee slamming Sandoval’s new girlfriend, West Wilson getting grilled during the Summer House Reunion Part 1, Traitors cast announcement, and Jesse Lally having an affair with Anna Nicole Smith. Meanwhile, Kaz Bishop, from The Perfect Match zooms in! What’s it like back on TV, who does he want to match with, and does he regret anything? 

    “All I'm hearing is you’re a bottom feeder” 

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    3:54 - Bottom Feeders and Traitors
    18:56 - Traitors New Cast
    23:09 - Alec Baldwin
    24:09 - Kids
    30:12 - Kaz Interview
    01:01:34 - Perfect Match Thoughts
    01:04:54 - Summerhouse
    01:37:02 - The Valley
    01:38:34 - Stalkers
    01:45:25 - Outro

    The Viall Files
    enJune 11, 2024

    E760 Ask Nick - Carrying My BFF’s Baby

    E760 Ask Nick - Carrying My BFF’s Baby

    Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! Before we get to our callers, we talk about menu anxiety and gentle parenting. Then we get to our callers…

    Our first caller is carrying her best friend's baby, but her mother and law doesn’t approve. Our Second caller is a single mom and it’s been 9 years since she’s last called someone her boyfriend. Finally, our third caller feels like the city she lives in makes it impossible to move on from her ex.

    “When you look back at your relationship, was he really the perfect boyfriend?”

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    The Viall Files
    enJune 10, 2024