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    Enneagram: Why Your Worst Traits Are Also Your Best with Suzanne Stabile

    enAugust 28, 2024
    What are the nine personality types of the Enneagram?
    How does the Enneagram enhance self-awareness and relationships?
    Why should one avoid relying solely on quizzes for Enneagram types?
    What challenges do Twos and Threes face in emotional expression?
    Which podcast does the speaker recommend for personal growth?

    Podcast Summary

    • Enneagram and self-awarenessThe Enneagram offers a deeper understanding of ourselves and others by focusing on underlying motivations, but accurate type identification requires deep introspection and reliable resources, not just quizzes or tests.

      The Enneagram, as explained by Suzanne Stibiel, is a powerful tool for understanding ourselves and others better. It consists of nine interconnected personality types, each with its unique gifts and challenges. The Enneagram goes beyond labeling behavior and instead focuses on the underlying motivations. To get the most out of the Enneagram, Suzanne advises against relying solely on quizzes or tests, as they may not accurately represent your true type. Instead, she encourages deep introspection and learning from reliable sources. By using the Enneagram, we can foster compassion, improve relationships, and gain a greater sense of self-awareness and meaning in our lives.

    • Enneagram types insightsAcknowledging and addressing feelings, especially for Type Eights, and embracing all aspects of personality are essential for personal growth according to the Enneagram system. Societal biases towards certain types, particularly females, should also be acknowledged.

      Understanding the Enneagram types can provide valuable insights into people's behaviors, motivations, and limitations. The speaker, who uses the Enneagram system to teach and coach, emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and addressing feelings, especially for Type Eight individuals who may repress their emotions and focus solely on action and problem-solving. She also highlights the societal biases towards certain Enneagram types, particularly females, and encourages embracing all aspects of one's personality. Additionally, she recommends Dan Harris' 10% Happier podcast as a resource for learning more about personal growth and happiness.

    • Enneagram and Personal GrowthThe Enneagram, a personality system, can help individuals understand themselves and others better, with Nines being described as having a past orientation, being laid-back, and seeing multiple perspectives. They can be stubborn about their integrity and avoid conflict, but stand firm when values are at stake. Every personality type has unique strengths and challenges.

      Dan Harris, the host of the 10% Happier podcast, explores various practical approaches to personal growth through conversations with world-class guests. The Enneagram, a personality system, is mentioned as a helpful tool for understanding oneself and others. Nines, one of the Enneagram types, are described as having a past orientation, being laid-back, and seeing multiple perspectives. They can be stubborn when it comes to their integrity and have a preference for avoiding conflict. Despite their reluctance to engage in conflict, they stand firm when their values are at stake. It's important to remember that every number, including Nines, has unique strengths and challenges in their lives. The best part of having diverse personalities is that we can learn from each other and build strong relationships.

    • Enneagram Traits and Emotional DriversUnderstanding unique Enneagram traits like trust, emotional drivers, and self-talk can improve communication and connections between people.

      Each Enneagram type, such as eights, nines, and ones, has unique characteristics and emotional drivers. Eights trust a small circle of people, are strong-willed, and have a future orientation. Nines are equally strong but more reserved, desire validation, and have a past orientation. Ones have an internal critic, seek perfection, and have a present orientation. Understanding these traits can help us communicate and connect better with each other. Additionally, ones, in particular, have a strong internal critic that can hinder their progress and self-confidence. They seek validation and perfection in thought and word, but if they have to ask for it, it doesn't count. Ones are also hyper-vigilant to faults in others as a way to establish their own worth. The Enneagram types form what's called the "Anger Triad," which includes eights, nines, and ones. Each type in this triad has a different emotional need: eights want to avoid betrayal, nines want their presence to matter, and ones want to be good. It's important to remember that everyone experiences self-talk and shame, but these emotions are more pronounced in twos, threes, and fours. By understanding these patterns, we can deepen our connections with others and communicate more effectively.

    • Enneagram Twos and Threes emotionsTwos struggle with identifying and expressing their needs while taking on others' feelings, while Threes suppress feelings and prioritize plans over emotions. Understanding these patterns and practicing self-care and self-awareness can improve communication and relationships.

      Each Enneagram type, including Twos and Threes, has unique emotional tendencies and challenges in expressing and dealing with feelings. Twos, as helpers and givers, often take on others' feelings instead of their own and struggle with identifying and expressing their needs. Threes, oriented towards the future and efficiency, tend to suppress feelings and prioritize plans over emotions. Understanding these patterns can help individuals grow and communicate effectively with others in their lives. Additionally, self-care and self-awareness are crucial for both types to prioritize and practice.

    • Emotional IntelligenceEffective leadership involves acknowledging emotions and addressing potential conflicts, using all three centers of intelligence (thinking, feeling, and doing) for a harmonious and productive work environment

      Being aware of and considering emotions in the room, rather than suppressing them, is essential for effective leadership. This approach, known as using all three centers of intelligence (thinking, feeling, and doing), helps maintain balance and leads to a more harmonious and productive work environment. The speaker's example illustrates the importance of acknowledging emotions and addressing potential conflicts, even if it means stepping out of one's comfort zone. Embracing all aspects of intelligence enables individuals to respond more authentically and effectively in various situations.

    • Enneagram Fours' longingsFours yearn for deep, reliable relationships and understanding, sometimes appearing envious or jealous, but they're just seeking security and meaning in their lives.

      Every Enneagram type, including Fours, has unique desires and feelings. For Fours, they long for deep, reliable relationships and the comfort and peace that others seem to have. However, they can be comfortable with longing and may appear envious or jealous to others. In reality, they're just yearning for the security and understanding that they sometimes feel lacking. It's important to remember that everyone has their own journey and work to do, and for Fours, that means focusing on their motivation to be understood and their desire to do meaningful, engaging activities. Additionally, there may be fewer Fours than other types, and they may not always be easily identified or understood.

    • Enneagram and connectionUnderstanding the Enneagram can help us connect with others by fostering compassion and empathy towards those with different ways of processing information and feelings.

      In today's fast-paced world filled with distractions like technology, crowds, noise, and hurry, it's essential to find a place to stand and truly connect with others. According to Richard Foster, our dominant feelings and ways of processing information, represented by the Enneagram types, can hinder or facilitate this connection. For instance, 4's, who are feeling dominant and think deeply about their feelings, can become so engrossed in their thoughts that they neglect doing, leading to an imbalance. However, understanding and compassion towards others, regardless of their type, is crucial for creating a more compassionate world. Therefore, it's essential to learn about the Enneagram and make an effort to understand people who don't see the world the same way we do.

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