EP.60 - Being Brave Is A Choice & A Skill You Have To Build!

In this episode, Aisha Javed and I discussed the challenges Muslim women face through divorce, including financial independence.

Aishah shared her experience of struggling with financial independence and offered guidance on approaching the issue. Aisha discussed the importance of empowerment and taking small steps towards personal and professional growth, acknowledging that the process may be difficult but stressing the importance of being open to change and networking with the right people.

We delved into the importance of communication in marriages and how it can impact the relationship. Aisha discussed how miscommunication can lead to resentment and arguments and stressed the need to communicate needs and feelings respectfully.

We also explored how past traumas and emotional baggage can affect relationships and attract similar partners. We also touch on the concept of energy and how it can impact the type of partners we attract.

The discussion also covered the complexities of accepting responsibility for divorce and acknowledging the difficulty of facing one's role. We discussed the importance of doing inner work to understand patterns and make changes for future relationships and how this can lead to healthier partnerships. Aisha also discussed the importance of shifting energy towards gratitude and openness to receive rather than solely focusing on providing for others. Emphasizing the healing aspect of letting go and surrendering your deepest fears and how those fears can stem from personal experiences and trauma.

We also delved into the importance of understanding and taking responsibility for one's emotions to let go of them and the need for deep heart work and grieving to release emotions. Aisha encouraged individuals to allow themselves to feel and express their emotions to release them, even if it means revisiting them multiple times.

Be sure to contact Aisha Javed if you resonate with this episode. Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/aishah_javed/

Salamualaykum.

Your partner will trigger the parts of you that you aren’t consciously aware of, and vice versa.

At that moment, we fixate on our partners and try to change them, which leads to two big adults fighting it out like kids.

This is common in relationships and something we have all seen growing up.

Most people aren’t able to work through these moments and brush them under the rug. This leads to a build-up of frustration and resentment, and, ultimately, you both disconnect from each other.

What most of us fail to do in this moment is to see what is coming up as an opportunity rather than another burden.

If you wish to unlock more profound levels of yourself and your strengths, you must be able to look at the parts of you that are running the show unconsciously.

These parts of us are wounded children. They haven’t been able to process what happened to us as kids and continue to operate from a place of fear and self-protection.

Your relationships will be the greatest opportunity for you to become aware of those parts of you. There is a reason marriage is half of our deen. Alhamdulillah.

So when a brother or sister comes to me, and all they talk about is their partner or kids, I will point back at you.

The work always starts with you!

This episode with Franco Zavala centred around personal growth and development, particularly in blended families and step-parenting.

Franco shared his struggles with infertility and negative reactions from loved ones when he decided to become a stepdad. He emphasized the importance of building trust and respect with his stepchildren's mother and earning the trust and respect of his stepchildren to participate in parenting fully.

Franco and I discussed the importance of self-development in becoming a successful stepdad and leader, emphasizing the need to work on personal growth constantly and understanding oneself.

The conversation also touched on the impact of childhood experiences on personal growth and understanding what it means to be a man. Franco emphasized the need to take responsibility for one's own problems and reactions and to be mentally prepared to handle obstacles in life. We also discussed the importance of understanding love languages for effective communication with children and the need to listen to and understand their needs.

The conversation highlighted the importance of personal growth and reflection in becoming a better person and parent. Franco announced his plan to launch a Facebook group called the Blended Family Brotherhood for men, providing a safe space to speak their minds and seek genuine help. The group will have live calls, Q&A videos, and guest speakers. Franco hopes to use this platform to get more speaking engagements and eventually offer one-on-one calls for a fee.

Links to connect with Franco Zavala: 
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075996184672
Instagram - 
https://www.instagram.com/theprofessionalstepdad/
Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/c/TheProfessionalStepDadShow
Catch the full episode on all podcast platforms. - https://linktr.ee/justminhaz

Salamaulaykum.

Peace & Love.

Stepping out of your comfort zone is like embarking on a real adventure. It's like straying from your cosy bed and diving into the unknown. Fear will tag along, trying to hold you back, but that's where the magic happens!

You have to face those insecurities head-on! It's like shining a light on the darkest corners of your mind. Instead of running away, confront them and grow stronger. You'll face obstacles, but treat them like stepping stones to success.

As you walk this path, you start questioning those limiting beliefs, those ghosts from the past. They were just illusions. You got the power to do way more than you think!

And here's the deal: it's not about reaching some "perfect" dream reality; it's about embracing the journey of self-discovery. Keep pushing yourself. You're gonna discover your true potential and, with consistency - live a limitless life. All you have to do is take the first step!

Watch my first interview with Muchina from 2021. - https://youtu.be/7enWX9YXcXw Follow

Muchina on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/muchinamalomba/

Follow Muchina on YouTube - https://youtu.be/D7aEPU8tdsY 

Salamualaykum.

Making change when life forces you to is the most common way we do things we've been holding back on. However, this isn't healthy at all! You will not be someone that can be relied on as a father, a partner or a son. If you wish to become a leader in your field or family, I believe this is the most important trait a man can possess - BRAVERY.

Being brave isn't something you're born with but a SKILL you must develop and build like muscle.

Facing those big hurdles seems impossible, but it isn't if it becomes the next step. What do I mean by that? What seems like a big hurdle now will eventually become the next step.

You start with the smallest tasks, pushing yourself to do the small things you've been holding off on, whether it's cleaning your house, your garage or organising your clothes.

Notice the discomfort that arises as you do it, and commit to finishing what you started no matter how long it takes!

Sounds silly, doesn't it?

How can cleaning out your garage help you achieve your goals?

One word - DISCOMFORT!

Get used to it!

As I said, it's like building muscle! If you can't overcome your mental battle on something as small as this, you won't be able to handle the mental chaos that will come for the things that truly matter to you.

Tune into the full episode for more.

Salamualaykum.

The more you want something, the more you reinforce your current reality (it isn’t here yet). Which is normal to start from, BUT we can easily end up staying there.

We constantly want change, telling everyone around us, but the story never seems to change. Years go by, and you’re still stuck doing the same old ish, saying the same old story to everyone around you.

Why do we do this? - Comfort.

We are comfortable where we are! Your mind will do whatever it can to keep you there as long as it feels comfortable and familiar, even if your current reality sucks.

How do you go from wanting to having? - Discomfort!

You must embody who you think you would be and do if it was already here. These are the fundamental steps you should take, which is helllllllaaaa uncomfortable.

You must let go of the old story and embody a new one. And this is where you will be tested. But persistence is key!

Tune into the full episode for more.

Peace & Love!

Most of us find ourselves taking one step forward and one step back.

Yet, never truly understood why.

One word - SAFETY.

We are hardwired to seek safety. So when you rely on your mind to keep you consistently moving toward a new discipline, you will inevitably find yourself back where you started. Your mind will do whatever it can to take you back to what is familiar.

YOU’RE HARDWIRED THIS WAY!

This isn’t a flaw!

You have to build your self-awareness to the point where you are able to watch the mind, rather than becoming it. Especially in moments when you are about to do something you don’t usually do.

It is possible to change your reality and build habits that will support you. But if you lack self-awareness, you will find yourself just thinking and talking about it.

So next time you take a step towards what you want and you find yourself doubting everything, practice watching your thoughts and emotions rather than becoming them.

This is the key to self-mastery!

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Salamualaykum.

It's who you become the moment you step towards what you want that changes your life, not the treasure. So be brave and take that step and remember, that the real gold is what you uncover about your fears.

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