EP131: One Degree Changes: How Small Changes Can Lead to a More Fulfilling Life

In this episode of the Define Success Podcast, host Matt Lupi delves into the Marshmallow Experiment, a cornerstone of psychological research that continues to offer profound insights into human behavior and success. Originally conducted over six years with hundreds of children, this fascinating study presented youngsters with a tantalizing choice: enjoy one marshmallow immediately or wait fifteen minutes for a doubly sweet reward. The children who demonstrated the ability to delay gratification not only scored higher on cognitive tests, coped better with stress, and achieved higher SAT scores but also laid the groundwork for a successful future.

Fast forward to 2018, a groundbreaking follow-up study with over 900 participants shed new light on the enduring impact of socio-economic factors, such as affluence and poverty, on a child's capacity for self-control. Intriguingly, despite assumptions that our digital age might erode our patience, subsequent replications of the experiment have shown an increase in the duration children are willing to delay gratification. Could it be that modern technology and the ability to think more abstractly are actually enhancing our executive functions, including self-control?

Join Matt as he explores the significance of these findings and provides actionable strategies for improving our own ability to delay gratification. From satisfying basic needs and setting long-term goals to developing a supportive network and mastering distraction techniques, this episode is packed with insights and tips for anyone looking to harness the power of patience for personal and professional success. Whether it's choosing $100 today or $500 next month, or saying no to a cheat meal in favor of fitness goals, learning to delay gratification is, as M. Scott Peck eloquently put it, "the only decent way to live." Tune in to discover how you can apply the lessons of the marshmallow test to define and achieve your own success.

Episode Resources: 

The Tenacious Brain: How the Anterior Mid-Cingulate Contributes to Achieving Goals - PMC (nih.gov)

The Neuroscience of Willpower with David Goggins & Dr. Andrew Huberman (futuredoctor.ai)

Anterior Cingulate Cortex: Unique Role in Cognition and Emotion | The Journal of Neuropsychiatry and Clinical Neurosciences (psychiatryonline.org)

David Goggins: How to Build Immense Inner Strength | Huberman Lab • Podcast Notes

A Tale of Two Nails | Psychology Today

In this episode, we dive deep into the fascinating world of the brain, focusing on a key player in our mental and emotional landscape: the anterior mid-cingulate cortex (aMCC). Known for its integral role in cognitive control, emotional regulation, pain processing, and decision-making, the aMCC is a cornerstone of our neural architecture that responds and adapts to the challenges we face. But what happens in our brain when we push our limits and step outside our comfort zones?

Join us as we explore how tackling difficult tasks not only strengthens the aMCC but also enhances our overall brain function, making us more resilient to stress and better equipped to handle fear and anxiety. We'll unravel the science behind neuroplasticity and how engaging in challenging activities can lead to significant improvements in our cognitive and emotional abilities.

But it's not just about the hard stuff; it's also about our perception of stress and fear in our lives. Often, we magnify these feelings, allowing them to dictate our actions and mindset. This episode sheds light on the importance of stress and fear, discussing how these emotions are not the giants we often make them out to be. Instead, they are essential components of our survival toolkit, designed to alert us but not immobilize us.

Through personal anecdotes, and the latest scientific research, we'll provide you with actionable insights on how to harness the challenges you face to strengthen your brain and transform your approach to stress and fear. Whether you're looking to boost your mental agility, enhance your emotional resilience, or simply curious about the incredible adaptability of the human brain, this episode is for you.

So, plug in, tune out the noise, and discover how doing hard things can lead to significant growth, not just in the anterior mid-cingulate cortex, but in every aspect of your life. Let's embark on this journey of discovery and empowerment together!

In this solo episode of the Define Success Podcast, your host Matt Lupi delves into the fascinating Harvard study on happiness that commenced in 1938. This groundbreaking study has been tracking the lives of 724 male Harvard sophomores, providing insights into the key factors that contribute to a successful and fulfilling life.

Dive more into the research for yourself here:

The secret to happiness? Here’s some advice from the longest-running study on happiness - Harvard Health

Over nearly 80 years, Harvard study has been showing how to live a healthy and happy life — Harvard Gazette

Amazon.com: W Publishing - Billy Graham

Over the years, the study expanded to include the 2,000+ children of the original participants and a second group of 456 boys from the poorest neighborhood in Boston. The extensive research, including interviews, medical exams, and in-depth analysis, offers a comprehensive understanding of how various life paths unfold.

As of 2017, with some participants reaching their 90s, the findings have become invaluable. Matt Lupi shares the main takeaways from the study, emphasizing the profound impact of good relationships on overall happiness and health. The podcast explores how social connections are crucial, highlighting that loneliness can be detrimental to both physical and mental well-being.

Listeners will discover that it's not about the quantity of friends or relationship status but the quality of relationships that truly matters. The episode unpacks the revelation that, in their 50s, the participants' health and happiness were more influenced by the quality of relationships than traditional health indicators like cholesterol levels.

Matt Lupi also discusses the observations of researcher George Vaillant, who outlined five key habits for longevity, emphasizing the importance of healthy relationships. In a world where quick fixes are sought after, this episode advocates for the effort and time required to nurture meaningful connections.

Drawing from personal takeaways, Matt Lupi suggests practical tips for listeners, encouraging them to schedule social connections and invest in relationships consistently. The episode concludes with reflections on the significance of vetting the people we allow into our lives and the understanding that relationships are indeed an investment requiring continuous effort.

Tune in to this insightful episode to uncover the timeless wisdom gleaned from the Harvard study and gain valuable tips on fostering meaningful relationships for a truly successful life.

All research from this podcast is linked below:

Johanna Lindström: Understanding Digital Distraction (doria.fi)

Goals and Distractions: Explanations of Early Attrition from Traditional University Freshmen (core.ac.uk)

Why multitasking does more harm than good | Wu Tsai Neurosciences Institute (stanford.edu)

Find Your Focus Zone: An Effective New Plan to Defeat Distraction and Overload - Lucy Jo Palladino - Google Books

How to Eliminate Distractions for Achieving Your Goals - LifeHack

Book Recommendation: Stolen Focus: Why You Can't Pay Attention-and How to Think Deeply Again: Hari, Johann: 9780593138533: Amazon.com: Books

Join Matt Lupi on this insightful episode of The Define Success Podcast as he delves into the intricate web of digital, social, and personal distractions that permeate our daily lives. Beginning with the Marshmallow Challenge—a team-building exercise that inadvertently exposed the rise of digital distraction in collaborative tasks—Matt explores the impact of digital behavior on academic tasks, shedding light on the potential pitfalls of blind trust in online sources.

The podcast navigates the changing media behavior among the "Google Generation" and raises crucial questions about creativity and critical thinking skills. Matt discusses the negative consequences of information overload, emphasizing the challenges individuals face in coping with the vast amount of data available in the contemporary media landscape.

Mobile technology's impact on thinking and information processing takes center stage, with a focus on constant interruptions and their effect on cognitive processes. The podcast explores the attention society, where attention becomes a valuable capital in the digital age, and the cognitive strain resulting from the rapid advancement of mobile technology.

In the realm of multitasking, Matt delves into its emergence as a coping mechanism for information overload, unveiling the negative implications and concerns about long-term impacts, especially when adopted at a young age. The episode concludes by emphasizing the need for a deeper understanding of the digital revolution and the search for positive coping strategies amid constant connectivity and information overload.

Moving into the realm of social distractions, Matt explores the dynamics of validation and acceptance, acknowledging their motivational push. He unravels the double-edged sword of opportunities, urging listeners to be selective and align choices with personal and professional goals. The discussion touches on the discomfort associated with turning down opportunities, advocating for honesty and deep soul-searching to determine true aspirations.

Shifting to personal distractions, Matt delves into the common struggles we face when juggling tasks, from forgotten texts to daydreams of a hypothetical trip to Europe. The episode questions how to break free from this cycle and draws parallels to elite athletes finding focus and flow within tasks, illustrating a unique perspective with the Upside Down U Curve.

Welcome to another episode of The Define Success Podcast! Today, we are privileged to host Johnny Elsasser, a former U.S. Army Ranger, Tactical Commander, and the visionary behind "The Art of Masculinity" podcast, "The Wildman Experience," and "The Elite Man Community." Johnny's journey from military service to empowering men to find authenticity and purpose is truly inspiring.

Follow Johnny on Instagram

Check out Johnny's Book and Podcast

In this episode, we explore the roots of Johnny's remarkable evolution:

Childhood Origins:
Discover the early days of Johnny Elsasser – the Army Ranger, leader, and author. Uncover the childhood and young adult experiences that shaped the man we see today.

Service and Inspiration:
Explore Johnny's inspiration to serve our country and the transformative lessons learned during four deployments as a Tactical Commander, protecting the U.S. Ambassador to Iraq.

Warrior to Peacemaker:
Gain insights into Johnny's perspective on transitioning from warriors to peacemakers while embracing strength and authenticity.

Action vs. Inaction:
Delve into Johnny's belief that "action beats inaction every time" and understand why this mantra is a driving force in his life.

Societal Reflections:
Reflect on the societal landscape with Johnny as he shares thoughts on modern society and whether we've become too comfortable. Explore ways we can collectively break free from complacency.

Design The Man Within:
Uncover the first tactics from Johnny's book, "Design The Man Within," designed to guide readers on a transformative journey to discover their true selves.

Role of Spouses:
Explore the role of spouses in our success, especially for men striving for more masculinity. Gain insights into the complexities of modern dating and finding the right life partner.

Defining Success:
Discover Johnny's personal definition of success and the motivating factors that keep him going every day.

Motivational Takeaways:
Wrap up the episode with a powerful piece of advice from Johnny to inspire your own journey towards success.

Buckle up for an enlightening conversation with Johnny Elsasser as we uncover the essence of masculinity, the power of authenticity, and the path to true success! Don't miss out on this enriching episode of The Define Success Podcast! 

Welcome to another empowering episode of Define Success with your host, Matt Lupi. In today's episode, titled "The Goal Setting Toolkit," Matt delves into the profound world of goal setting, breaking down the science and strategies behind achieving success in any aspect of life.

In this enlightening discussion, Matt explores the fundamental question: What is a goal? A goal is not just a distant aspiration; it's a conscious effort aligned with your values, the driving force behind your actions. Matt draws from the extensive research of Edwin Locke and Gary Latham, who conducted over 400 studies on goals, to unveil the science of effective goal setting.

Locke and Latham's findings underscore the importance of specificity, difficulty, acceptance, feedback, and deadlines in setting and achieving goals. Specific goals propel you to higher performance levels, while challenging yet attainable objectives push you to grow. Acceptance of your goals is crucial, requiring a personal commitment akin to a private meeting with yourself. Feedback is the compass guiding your progress, and deadlines infuse urgency and effectiveness into your pursuit.

However, Matt doesn't stop there. He explores the common pitfalls of goal setting and shares insights from the book "Self" by Kathleen Vohs and Brandon Schmeichel. With a touch of humor, he discusses the importance of self-regulation, urging listeners to recognize that change begins within, much like the lightbulb that has to want to change itself.

Dr. Andrew Huberman's perspective adds a new layer to the conversation, emphasizing that dopamine, the neurotransmitter associated with pleasure, peaks not when a goal is achieved, but during its pursuit. Matt encourages listeners to find joy in the daily grind, understanding that progress and consistency yield greater rewards than the ultimate achievement.

To help you dial in your goals, Matt offers practical tactics. Ask yourself if a goal is truly worth pursuing, write it down consistently, track your progress, and find an accountability partner. However, he cautions against falling into the dopamine trap and reminds us that the journey is never truly done. Always see the bigger picture and consider what comes next after achieving a goal.

Tune in to Define Success to equip yourself with the Goal Setting Toolkit, unlocking the secrets to turning your aspirations into tangible achievements. Get ready to embrace the pursuit, find joy in progress, and redefine your path to success!

In this episode of the Define Success Podcast, Matt Lupi recounts an extraordinary achievement alongside his companions, Matt Worthington and Richard Gilpin, as they collectively conquered the formidable challenge of completing 1,010 pull-ups in a mere 5 hours. Employing a strategic approach, the trio executed 3 pull-ups every minute on the minute, showcasing both physical prowess and mental resilience throughout the grueling endeavor.

As the trio battled fatigue and the tempting prospect of surrender, a powerful mantra resonated in their minds: "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." This profound insight encapsulates the essence of their journey—a testament to the indomitable spirit that emerges when individuals unite for a common goal. Undertaking such a physical and mental feat alone would border on the impossible, and even if achieved, the victory would be hollow and devoid of shared triumph. Instead, these comrades not only conquered the challenge but did so in the company of friends, fostering an atmosphere of mutual support and accountability. The result? A resounding success fueled by the collective strength and inspiration drawn from one another.

This episode delves deep into the transformative power of community in the pursuit of success. It underscores the discouraging and lonely nature of solitary endeavors, emphasizing the inherent risk of failure. The narrative passionately advocates for the life-altering impact of surrounding oneself with a positive and supportive community. Indeed, the key takeaway is clear: your journey towards success is infinitely enriched when shared with good people who uplift and propel you forward.

In summary, this Define Success Podcast episode illuminates the significance of communal support, conveying a powerful message about the intrinsic connection between achievement and the community that surrounds us. 

Join host Matt Lupi on this insightful episode of the Define Success Podcast as we delve into the powerful concept that can reshape your life—The Hedgehog Concept. Discover the keys to unlocking your true purpose and achieving lasting success.

In this episode, Matt Lupi explores the wisdom of the Hedgehog Concept, a transformative business strategy introduced by Jim Collins. But it's not just for corporations; it's a roadmap for individuals seeking clarity in their life's journey. Uncover the three crucial elements—passion, mastery, and economic drive—that converge to reveal your unique life purpose.

Matt dives into real-life stories and practical tips on how the Hedgehog Concept can guide you towards a fulfilling and purpose-driven life. Learn how to identify what truly ignites your passion, understand where your skills shine the brightest, and align your pursuits with what fuels your personal and professional growth.

If you're ready to redefine success on your terms, this episode is a must-listen. Tune in as Matt Lupi explores the Hedgehog Concept, offering actionable insights that will empower you to find your purpose and live a life that truly matters.

Welcome to another captivating episode of the Define Success Podcast, hosted by Matt Lupi. Today, we have an extraordinary guest for all the bookworms out there: Nicholas Hutchison, the Founder of Book Thinkers. Nick is not just an ordinary reader; he's a prolific one, with a track record of reviewing hundreds of books, and yes, that's no exaggeration. He takes the knowledge he gains from these books to create exceptional content that inspires others. But the excitement doesn't stop there; Nick has released his own book, "Rise of the Reader," hitting the shelves on November 1, 2023. This book is a deep dive into mastering your reading habits and, more importantly, how to apply the knowledge you gain from books. As we all know, reading is a fundamental aspect of achieving success, and having Nick here today is a true privilege.

Follow Nick on Instagram HERE

Buy Nick's book HERE

Follow Book Thinkers HERE

As we delve into Nick's journey, he shares what initially ignited his passion for reading and led him to establish Book Thinkers. Nick's voracious reading habit is quite remarkable, and he offers valuable insights into how he manages to read at such an extraordinary pace while also providing guidance for those who often struggle to complete a book.

Nick also takes a moment to reveal his top 5 personal development book recommendations. These books hold a special place in his heart and have significantly influenced his journey.

In one of his thought-provoking videos, Nick raised a critical question about popular personal development books like "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People." While many had heard of it, few could recall its seven habits. He explores why people often struggle to retain and apply the knowledge they gain from reading, shedding light on a common challenge for avid readers.

The spotlight then shifts to his upcoming book, "Rise of the Reader." Nick gives us a glimpse of what readers can expect from this highly anticipated release and how it will empower them to enhance their reading habits and, more importantly, to apply the knowledge they acquire.

Success for "Rise of the Reader" is not just about book sales; Nick shares his vision for the impact he hopes to create and the goals he aims to achieve with his book. 

Beyond reading and personal development, we learn that Nick has a passion for travel. He discusses how this passion has enriched his life and possibly contributed to his success, sharing some of his memorable travel experiences.

In a thought-provoking segment, Nick provides his personal definition of success and the metrics or principles he uses to gauge his own journey.

And, as is tradition on the Define Success Podcast, Nick shares a figure who inspires him deeply and explains why this individual has had such a profound influence on his life and work.

As we near the end of our conversation, Nick leaves our audience with a single, powerful piece of advice that they can implement in their own quests to define and achieve success. Thank you, Nick, for gracing us with your wisdom, and we eagerly await the release of "Rise of the Reader" to inspire countless readers worldwide. Until next time, dear listeners, keep forging your unique path to success, stay motivated, and never stop reaching for your goals.