Episode 33 - Second Base Camp

"I'm never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm"

- Ben still doesn’t know which way to face in the elevator.
- Ben loves Survivor and Jonathan LaPaglia's dirty mouth.
- Ben buys some new pillows and Nobody’s regrets her Black Sails themed decor.
- Nobody is becoming a COVID conspiracy theorist.
- Nobody tests her husband on whether he would still love her if she was a snail?
- We provide some advice to a redditor with a pee bottle problem.
- A guy with a Star Wars obsessed girlfriend needs our help.
- We advise the girlfriend of a guy who doesn’t fart.

"I'd sent a text to the person the text was about."

- We divulge our respective mayonnaise dilemmas.
- Ben asks whether you’d accept the reward for returning a missing pet?
- Ben uses his escape room mindset to fix his overheated phone.
- Ben proposes a restrained use of the edit and delete instant messages feature.
- Nobody has paid for eight weeks of tennis lessons and is absolutely hating it.

"A little bit of Jessica here I am. A little bit of you makes me your man."

- We discover a spa without bubbles is just an awkward communal bath.
- We discuss Nobody’s surprising choice for ‘the ultimate man’.
- Ben gets compared to Wolverine and we devise a new dating app based tourism campaign.
- Ben buys dinner from someone who doesn’t understand the concept of ‘buy two get one free’ and Nobody outlays the girl math of buying tennis lessons.
- Nobody details her theory on men only coming in one size.
- We dive into the origins of Ben’s unfortunate nickname, Benis.
- Ben doesn’t understand why men and women’s shoe sizes are different.
- We dispense some advice to a redditor whose girlfriend says everyone’s name but his in bed.
- We advise a man who sent porn to his friends, family and co-workers.
- We help a guy who made his girlfriend have visions during sex.

"I'm talkin' racks on top of racks. And stacks on top of that."

- Ben raises an eyebrow at the weather app’s claims of reaching 98 percent humidity.
- The Gävle Goat lives to see the new year but not unscathed.
- We get an actual witch to weigh in on the female mage emoji.
- Ben’s grandpa finds an unorthodox way to dry his stowaway cat during his time in the navy.
- Ben asks whether you’d jaywalk in front of a seeing eye dog in training.
- Ben joins Bumble and provides a dating app update.
- We experiment with wearing our socks on the wrong feet.
- Nobody gets stared at by her Vietnamese masseurs while she undresses.
- Nobody’s friend discovers his butt is a huge hit in China.

"Everybody get dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb."

- Ben realises he needs to value his time more highly after going on massive hunt for an ATM.
- Nobody’s car gets a flat battery, which kicks off a massive altercation with a stubborn road crew worker.
- Ben gets ushered to his very important lunch meeting at Parliament House.
- Ben is saddened to learn that the local croissant ravioli store may not be opening after all. However a new business is taking in its place.
- We check in on the Gävle goat.
- Nobody ventures into the realm of running socks and misses her high school boyfriend’s amazing sock.
- Ben suggests an ice breaker for when you meet someone who’s writing a PhD.

"Fade into you. Strange you never knew."

- We debate whether it’s okay to jaywalk in front of children.
- Nobody gets stung on the butt by a bee, so we discuss bee’s vs humans and Candyman.
- We do our annual check in on the Gävle goat and plot the crimes we would commit if there were zero consequences.
- Ben wants to know if an invite on an unused credit means he’s getting a free ticket.
- The Squid Game: The Challenge contestants biggest struggle turns out to be chapped lips.
- Ben provides an update on his dating app journey.
- We do an emoji audit on the ‘female mage’ emoji.
- Nobody recounts the saga of getting a flight home from America.

"We've got the ocean, got the babes, got the sun, we've got the waves"

- Ben is deeply disappointed in his new mouthwash.
- Curt provides some listener feedback and Spotify Wrapped is out for another year.
- Nobody describes her partners ‘bathroom melange’ and she wants warning labels on body wash.
- Ben is unimpressed with Chemist Warehouse’s lucky dips.
- We attempt to decipher Ben’s mum’s latest text message about ‘Stollen Picnics’.
- Ben’s mum (somehow) misses the Melbourne Cup.
- Nobody discusses her trip to America and gives her thoughts on the Vegas sphere.
- We talk self-driving cars and robots in L.A.
- We discuss smoking, fresh air, gambling and hidden fees in Vegas.
- We debate which celebrities the Australian coins would be.

"You and me together in a Tinderbox"

- We explore what annoys Nobody and her neighbour’s eclectic playlist.
- Ben swallows a big mint and gets its full caloric intake.
- Ben joins Tinder and we do a deep dive on dating apps.
- We swipe on some Tinder profiles and do Ben’s top picks.
- We discuss matching with people you know in real life.
- Ben goes on his first Tinder date.
- Nobody gets vaccinated and her husband runs out of a restaurant.

"Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey"

- We discuss replacing water fountain jugs, the joys of piercing the lid of a tube of ointment and Nobody’s Netflix related injury.
- We discuss flavoured water as we overanalyse the ingredients of La Croix and the lyrics of Kiss from a Rose.
- Nobody struggles with weight loss and Ben’s still fixated on the tooth he lost as a child.
- Nobody doesn’t understand how people fall asleep without meaning to.
- Nobody loses her jewellery at an arcade and is saved by a low paid superhero.

"I feel a little poke coming through, on you"

- We strategise the best way to fight a horse sized chicken.
- A ‘reality based’ Krav Maga dojo catches Ben’s attention.
- Marge Simpsons and The Berenstain Bears make us feel old.
- Nobody’s friend defends their house with a raging hard on.
- We revisit the concept of the best way to wear a towel after a shower.
- Nobody is having running etiquette woes.
- We weigh in on the AmITheAsshole party sub scenario.
- We provide some relationship advice to an eyebrow eater and nude photo retoucher.