Episode 62--Fibroids

enMay 08, 2017

Childless not by Choice

About this Episode

Hello! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life although we could not have children. Thank you for allowing me to sit with you a while!

Well, you heard correctly in the intro. I have made the decision after more than a year of ‘discussions’ with my podcast producer, to change the name of the podcast. The platform will still be called 21st Century Hannah, but for easier searchability, the podcast name has been changed. So welcome once again, to Childless not by Choice!

Thank you’s:

Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated.

Individual thank you’s if any:

“Thoughtful and informative. Civilla delivers valuable insights and resources for anybody affected by or interested in childlessness.”--Fotograffs, United Kingdom (April 2017)

Shout outs:

I want to let you know up front, that parts of this episode may be graphic. If there are children around, you may end up answering a lot of questions!

I wondered why this episode might be more graphic than the other three in this series, and maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s just that it is being done through my lens of experience.

For some of you, PCOS was your story. For some, Endometriosis was your story. And for others, Miscarriage was your story. Well, Fibroids are my story.

Let's get started:

According to webmd.com,

A lot of women have uterine fibroids at some point in their life. You may have even had them and never known it. That’s because they often don’t cause any pain or symptoms.

Uterine fibroids, which your doctor may call leiomyomas or myomas, are muscular tumors that can grow on your uterus. They rarely turn into cancer, and if you get them it doesn’t mean you’re more likely to get uterine cancer.

Fibroids can vary a lot in size, shape, and location. They can show up in your uterus, uterine wall, or on its surface. They can also attach to your uterus by a stalk- or stem-like structure.

Some are so small that your doctor can’t even see them with the naked eye. Others grow in big masses that can affect the size and shape of the uterus.

Uterine fibroids usually appear in women of childbearing age -- generally between 30 and 40 years old, but they can show up at any age. They’re also more common in African-American women than in white women and tend to show up earlier and grow quicker in African-Americans, as well. Doctors don’t know why that is.

According to Health Remedies Journal website,

Fibroids: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatments. Fibroids are non-cancerous (benign)tumors that grow from the muscle layers of the uterus (womb). They are also known as uterine fibroids, leiomyomas, or myomas. Fibroids are growths of smooth muscle and can vary from the size of a bean to as large as a melon. Aug 3, 2016

fibroids are lumps that can grow on the inside, outside or the wall of the uterus,

Some symptoms include:

Excessive menstrual bleeding

Longer than usual menstruation--Overtime abnormally excessive bleeding may also lead to other potentially serious side effects. (For me it was low iron, at times dangerously low. I spent many years taking the highest dose of non-prescription ferrous sulfate, and even had iv iron on one or two occasions. It was so many years my body had gotten used to living with very low iron.)

Fullness in lower abdomen

( my note: I don’t remember feeling full, but I did feel pressure on my bladder. It was very scary feeling the pressure of needing to go to the bathroom but not being able to go. The scariest moment of that happening for me was just before surgery number two.)

Pelvic or lower back pain

‘As fibroids grow in size, they can apply extra pressure on the neighboring organs and cause unwarranted pain in the pelvic area. The pain may also radiate to the lower back and some women may also feel the pain extending into their legs.’

(I had the back pain and always sat with a support pillow behind my lower back. I was so fortunate to have a vehicle with lumbar support for many years. It’s amazing the small things that we can tend to take for granted until we don’t, right?)

Frequent urination

Loss of bladder control

Constipation

The constant pressure in the pelvic region can also lead to constipation, bloating and even diarrhea for some. For instance, when the fibroid growth is located towards the back, pressure applied to the rectum can cause constipation.

(My note: At first, I was like constipation? Really? But the explanation makes sense. That earlier explanation re: affected organs right?

Reproductive problems--Fibroids that develop in the cavity of the uterus may cause infertility by preventing implantation. Fibroids may also block the fallopian tubes causing problems in conceiving. In these cases, blockage of the fallopian tube caused by fibroids does not permit the embryo to enter into the cavity of the uterus.

Abdominal swelling

Depending on the size and number of fibroids present, the condition can occasionally cause the uterus to grow to the size of a five month pregnancy. This symptom can be observed as an enlarged belly or swelling in the abdomen.

(Yes, I remember wearing my shirts and blouses out and long. I used to feel so embarrassed!)

Anemia

The heavy bleeding experienced with fibroids can sometimes cause a woman to become anemic. With heavy menstrual bleeding persisting overtime, the body may not be able to make new blood cells fast enough to replace those that have been lost.

In such instances, some women with fibroids may need to take iron pills to compensate for the loss of blood. At the same time, anemia may also result in fatigue, weakness, fuzzy thinking and moderate to severe light-headedness.

(So yeah, basically what I mentioned earlier.)

http://healthremediesjournal.com/11-symptoms-of-fibroids/?utm_campaign=fibroidsymptoms&gclid=CK7nq8WKrdMCFQsQgQodmesI7g

http://www.webmd.com/women/uterine-fibroids/

Articles of note:

https://www.statnews.com/2017/03/27/parents-having-children-live-longer/

https://www.rte.ie/entertainment/2017/0325/862542-dawn-oporter/

Until next time! Bye!

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @joyandrelevance

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

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Recent Episodes from Childless not by Choice

EPISODE 159--HEADLINES

Hello, and welcome to episode 159 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Headlines

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

So, it looks like, we meaning childless not by choice and child free people, are in the news again! It seems like we are always in the headlines, doesn’t it? And not usually for anything positive. There is always commentary, and suggestions, all un-asked for.

Well, in the recent headlines, the word deplorable was used, and the term commercial contract...in the context of those who choose surrogacy to have the gift of a child. I always believed surrogacy to be a gift. Yes, the woman carrying the baby typically gets paid, but why shouldn’t she? And yes, many countries have rules and laws surrounding these agreements. It’s not typically an act or process that is done willy-nilly. Of course like anything else, there are people who opt for the wrong or illegal way of doing things, so why would surrogacy be any different? Well, because a human being is involved. I get it, but calling the act deplorable? That’s kinda intense.

DEPLORABLE

COMMERCIAL CONTRACT

CHILDLESS ELDERLY

RETIREMENT

I get that there are people who like to cut corners and do things for the wrong reasons, but ‘commercial contract’ sounds so, well, non-human.

And I really believe the word deplorable needs to be retired–or just used as little as possible. It is such a harsh word and I don’t think we realize that.

I know we all make mistakes, misuse words and verbiage; we all mess up. But I think the bigger issue becomes when we do not realize how we are affecting people by our words. Our opinions, our words affect people. The term ‘words matter’ has been thrown around a bit in the last few years, to no avail. Some people just do not understand how their words do matter, or how their platform fits into the scheme of the world.

I don’t believe most people mean to be mean. Some people on the other hand, I don’t believe they care how their words affect the listener or the reader, or the ones directly affected by their words. In other words, People may not realize what their words are doing, they have probably not done any research.

Research such as, why do women use surrogates? Why are people childless? Could it be some of them just could not have kids? Before making comments about how the childless fit into the world. What contributions do we make?

You know my story. I wanted children so badly I would have done just about anything to have one. But I also believe that people who did not want kids shouldn’t have to have them. I mean why are we trying to tell people what to do., How to live their lives. Whether or not to have children. Why is this happening? I realize that some commentary may come from the fact that the overall birth rate in the Western world is generally lower than the leadership machine of any given country might like, but where does it end when we start telling people what to do? Making people feel a certain way for not wanting children or not being able to have children.

I had already recorded this episode when I felt like I needed to dig deeper to find out why these comments were made. I searched for context. I couldn’t find any. But I just can’t believe these comments just popped up. There had to be a reason. If I figure it out sometime in the future I will let you know. But for now, this is all I got. They just decided this was their opinion so they said so. But in this world of social media, now more than ever, we really have to think about what we say. No matter how small or how large our platform.

A few announcements please:

Patreon:

If you are a patron, please stop by the Patreon page for a personalized video message from me. And if you are a current contributor, there is also a message in your Patreon in-box. Please stop by the Patreon page!

Apple now provides transcripts!

Apple will now be providing transcripts! I am excited about this because I know there are people who are not able to consume podcasts by listening. There is a link in the show notes that gives the back story and instructions on how to obtain the transcripts.

https://podcasters.apple.com/support/5316-transcripts-on-apple-podcasts

Research links:

https://thedispatch.com/article/surrogacy-is-good-for-women-and-good-for-families/

https://www.npr.org/2024/01/09/1223771148/pope-francis-surrogacy-criticism#:~:text=%22I%20deem%20deplorable%20the%20practice,speech%20to%20diplomats%20on%20Monday.

https://medium.com/illumination/the-dangerous-words-of-elon-musk-incites-hatred-and-division-against-the-childfree-942e5b613406

https://www.businesstoday.in/technology/news/story/elon-musk-support-restricting-voting-rights-for-people-without-children-388215-2023-07-05

Articles/links of interest:

https://www.healthday.com/healthpro-news/bone-and-joint/men-with-inflammatory-joint-diseases-seem-to-have-more-children

https://www.news18.com/viral/california-couple-chooses-child-free-life-says-its-unaffordable-for-them-8784475.html

https://www.gistreel.com/woman-loses-twin-babies-to-church-after-15-years-of-waiting/

QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE:

‘It’s what we do with OUR story.’

If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.

Survey:

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Childless not by Choice

enFebruary 28, 2024

Episode 158--How Old Is Too Old To Have A Baby

Hello, and welcome to episode 158 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

How Old Is Too Old To Have A Baby?

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

How old is too old to have a baby? Apparently it’s not age 70, because it just happened. A woman in Uganda has had not one, but two children. She just had twins!

Now, I’m not one to judge especially when people are dealing with a situation that onlookers may not have all of the insight and details.

I mean she lives in a part of the world where she was probably mistreated, shunned, talked about behind her back, for being childless. I mean check out this quote from the People article, link in the show notes:

‘The twins, who will go by Babiyre and Kato, have given Namukwaya and her husband a new status in their rural village. The mom will be known as Nalongo. which means mother of twins, while husband Walusimbi Badru will be known as Salongo, or father of twins.’

She also said ‘ "There was a time I felt very sick because of the pregnancy. I spent nearly all my savings.’

Those last six words: ‘I spent nearly all my savings’. How many times in our community, have we heard a childless not by choice woman say those words?

As I read this story I was torn between to thoughts, two opinions. I wondered if I did enough to have a child on my own before my time ran out. It’s easy to look back and second guess, but it’s a different story when you are living the moment, so I’m not going to beat myself up.

On the other hand, I wondered if she and her husband consider the childrens’ future? Does she have a care plan in place for them once she and her husband have passed? Does she have help with two newborns? Does she have help with them when they are two or three years old and getting into everything? How old will she be when they turn 18? 88, She will be 88!

How old is too old?

And if we ask how old is too old to have a child? How old is too old to adopt? Although at least here in the US, there are laws in place to make sure someone wanting to adopt has to have age correlation to the child’s. In other words, an adopter cannot be more than 20 years older than the child they want to adopt. According to research, that is more geared toward the adoption of an older child.

How old is too old to foster care a child? Have you ever considered fostering a child? If so, I would like to hear your experiences. Let me know! And actually, any thoughts you have on this episode content I would really love to hear. Especially on the main topic of this episode. How old is too old to have a child? Was this fair to the children, even if the mother has help?

Am I being un-empathetic to this woman’s plight of living in a part of the world where childlessness is frowned upon, and the woman is blamed even if the issue is on the husband’s part?

When do we become content in our childlessness? Is there such a thing, contentedness in our childlessness?

There are links in the show notes to this and other stories I believe you may find interesting.

Also, be sure to visit the Resources tab. There’s a link that will take you to Sheridan Voysey’s site. Remember, I am a contributor to his new book ‘Praying Through Infertility.’

Research links:

https://people.com/ugandan-woman-who-welcomed-twins-at-70-introduces-son-and-daughter-8423729

Articles/links of interest:

https://www.nbcnews.com/healthmain/curious-case-stone-baby-1c9926251

https://www.sbs.com.au/language/filipino/en/podcast-episode/being-a-mother-is-a-selfless-act-that-perhaps-is-not-for-me-a-story-of-a-child-free-filipina-in-sydney/2f71w36y6

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/collaborators/

Special thank you to:

My friend for telling me about this story.

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.

Childless not by Choice

enFebruary 02, 2024

Episode 157--Our December, Christmas 2023

Hello, and welcome to episode 157 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

December 2023

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

What has happened the last few months
Plans for next year–i have a few people i would like to interview next year. I just need to make it a little further through my grief journey. My brain is mush right now.
As cnbc women, depending on where we are in our journey, let’s pray for the children around the world. Especially those who have no one to pray for them, and those in war torn and conflict areas.
Humans first: I think about the bandwagon quite a bit as i watch what is happening in and to our world, perpetrated by human beings. The things we do to each other is just unbelievable. But it is the taking sides when the correct side is the human side, that gets me. Two things can be true. That is nothing new. Two actions, two behaviors, two responses can be wrong or right. Let’s bring positive thoughts and behaviors to our world.
Next, i had the honor of being asked to be a contributor to renowned author Sheridan Voysey’s latest book, ‘Praying through Infertility’. How cool was that? The book will be available January 30th. I will put a link to more information in the show notes. Please check out the book, and share with everyone you know, childless or not.

Hi everyone. I have some news.

May I introduce you to Praying Through Infertility, due for release in January. I believe it may be a first book of its kind!

A HIDDEN MALADY

Right now there is someone in your office, church, neighbourhood, maybe even your family or among your friends who is battling infertility. They’re feeling isolated, their marriage may be under strain, and their faith may be fraying at the edges because of it. Praying Through Infertility is a 90 day devotional written for them.

Or maybe even you.

There aren’t many resources for Christian couples facing infertility, and many of those available focus on the female experience. In Praying Through Infertility I believe we’ve achieved a first:

️ 37 contributors from 9 countries sharing vulnerably

Both female and male writers (*rare* for this topic)

A variety of outcomes explored: pregnancy, adoption, staying childless

If you're facing infertility, this is the book you've been longing for. If you know someone who is, it's the book to give when you don't know what to say.

THE BACKSTORY

When my publisher approached me about writing this book, I wasn't sure it was mine to do. My hands were full with other projects and I wondered if I'd said all I needed to in previous books. But when I realised this could be a collaborative project, drawing on the experiences of so many I've connected with around the world, a light switched on.

And my goodness, my co-writers have *delivered*, touching on every experience an infertile couple can face:

How to deal with baby showers and scan reveals

How to address marriage and intimacy problems

How to trust God when you wonder who will look after you when you’re old if children never come

AND THE STORIES!

I can't wait for you to read about:

The couple whose shame was tearing them apart, and how they reunited

The couple who not only adopted two children but their young mother too

The husband who was finally able to express his never-expressed feelings

And how so many wrestle with God and stay faithful through it all

As you may know, the childless community is dear to my heart, so thank you for reading this far and for whatever you can do to get Praying Through Infertility into the hands of those who most need it.

The book is out January 30th but available for pre-order with some bonuses now .

#Infertility #infertilityjourney #infertilitywarrior #infertilitysupport

Articles/links of interest:

https://sheridanvoysey.com/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/about-the-children-3/

Special thank you to:

Sheridan Voysey

Links/apps of interest:
If you are having a difficult time listening to the podcast, try listening on the following apps: Himalaya and Bullhorn.

My contact information:
#youdonthaveto
Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

Tik Tok at 2podcastertoo

https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.

Childless not by Choice

enDecember 19, 2023

Episode 156--Grief…Again, Hiatus, Love, Loss

Intro:

Hello, and welcome to episode 156 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Grief…Again, Hiatus, Love, Loss

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.

Childless not by Choice

enOctober 01, 2023

grief

loss

childlessandparentless

deathofaparent

Episode 155--My Conversation with Stephanie Joy Phillips, Founder of World Childless Week

Intro:

Hello, and welcome to episode 155 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

My Conversation with Stephanie Joy Phillips, Founder of World Childless Week

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

I remember doing a past episode on the different reasons for childlessness. And I recall discussing the fact that there are many reasons for childlessness. You mention in your bio that being in an abusive relationship caused you to take contraceptives so you wouldn’t get pregnant by your partner. Can you speak a little more on that because I know there are listeners who can probably relate.
Tell us how best to deal with unsympathetic doctors. Did you get a second opinion?
What caused you to create World Childless Week?
How do we get involved, where do we listen?
Tell us about the letters that were recently created, for libraries and for jobs.
On your website, you mention that one week per year World Childless Week shows up to remind us how we matter, but that you are available year-round. What does the platform do for the rest of the year?
Give us a final word of encouragement for the childless not by choice community, and tell us how we can find you on social.

BIO:

Stephanie spent a large part of her twenties in an abusive relationship and took the contraceptive pill to ensure children would not be born into that situation. In her early thirties, she met her husband-to-be but they didn't try to conceive until nearing forty. At the age of 39, she was told by an unsympathetic doctor "If he manages to get you pregnant it is highly unlikely you'll carry the full term". She knew at that moment, she would never be a mum.

In 2016 Stephanie Joy Phillips founded three childless support groups on Facebook: Childless Path To Acceptance focuses on support, Childless Chit Chat is a trigger-free zone, and Childless Perks!! is all about laughter and finding the positives of being childless, without a parent saying 'I told you so'.

In 2017 after realising there was no national recognition of the childless community she founded World Childless Week. Seven days that enables the childless community to have a platform where they can find their voice and share their stories with confidence.

Steph lives in Worcestershire with her husband and two rescue cats, Storm and Tea-Cup. She enjoys gardening, arts and crafts, a good book, dining out, and relaxing in front of the television with a puzzle book and one of her two cats snuggled up beside her".

Her website:

www.WorldChildlessWeek.net

Articles/links of interest:

Inclusive Libraries Project:

https://worldchildlessweek.net/inclusive-libraries-project

Inclusion of WCW in employer calendar:

https://worldchildlessweek.net/employer-calendar

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Survey:

https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV

Childless not by Choice

enSeptember 05, 2023

Let Me Catch You Up!

Hello, and welcome to episode 154 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Let Me Catch You Up

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Special thank you to:

You, the Childless not by Choice Podcast Listener.
Everyone who made suggestions on how to feel better while in Denver.

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.

Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!

Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Survey:

https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV

Civilla M. Morgan
civilla@civillamorgan.com
www.childlessnotbychoice.net
Podcast: Childless not by Choice
Facebook.com/childlessnotbychoice/Facebook.com/civillamorgan
Twitter=@civilla1
Instagram= @joyandrelevance
Pinterest=Civilla M. Morgan

Copyright 2023©

Childless not by Choice

enAugust 29, 2023

Episode 153--My Eight Year Podcastiversary--Milestones and Lemonade

Intro:

Hello, and welcome to episode 153 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

Welcome to my eight-year podcastiversary!

What is today’s show about?

My Eight-Year Podcastiversary!

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to say a special thank you to the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Some of you have been donating/giving/contributing, for years!

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

Before we get started though, I want to give a heads-up to those who listen to the Childless not by Choice podcast on the Stitcher Podcatcher app. Unfortunately, Stitcher is going away effective August 29, 2023. They say you may listen on their sister app Pandora. Many of you may know Pandora as a music app which it is, but Pandora started hosting podcasts a few years ago.

If you use the Stitcher app, there are instructions in the app on how to export your shows so you don’t have to go one by one searching from them in another Podcatcher app.

And as I always say, the Childless not by Choice podcast can be found on just about any podcatcher app including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Himalaya, Bullhorn, Google Podcast, you name it, the podcast is there!

Of course, if you have any questions about how to listen to the podcast, reach out in the Childless not by Choice Facebook Group, email me at civilla@civillamorgan.com, or Message me on social.

So, I want to talk to you for a few minutes about Milestones and Lemonade!

Milestone: I have been talking to you for eight years and I love it! A great big thank you to the long-time listeners! And a great big welcome to all of the new listeners! I’m so happy you found us! If you have been listening since the beginning, you have been journeying with me through episodes where I had fabulous guests. Times of Me only episodes, aka monologue episodes. You stayed with me through my grief at the loss of my mommy, and you have continued with me as I continue to care for my dad. You’ve journeyed with me by listening to the episodes that I created to help you on your journey, but you have given me grace for my journey. Thank you.

Lemonade. I love lemons! The nice, fresh, ripe lemons that you roll on the kitchen counter a few times before cutting them in half and squeezing them to make lemonade, or squeezing them on seafood to create another level of flavor! But life’s lemons are a whole ‘nother story right?! What lemon or lemons are you dealing with right now? We all get lemons in this life. And I believe although the lemon fruit adds another level of taste to many dishes, including lemonade, life’s lemons can feel harsh. Breathtakingly so sometimes. Until you turn them into lemonade. Remember, life is filled with choices. Unless you decide, choose, to make the best of the life you have been given; the childless not by choice life, things can become, and stay overwhelming for a very long time. Who wants that? Life is too short. Do the best you can with where you are, how you are, and when you are. Most of us don’t have full control over our jobs, our family members, where we live, etc., but whatever you can control, or manage, do. It will be good for your mental health. What is also good for your mental health is also to know the difference between what you can control and what you cannot.

PIVOT

Milestone. The first time I interviewed a man on the podcast was back in 2015! Link in the show notes! I couldn’t believe I had not considered men. It was a whole different conversation. Of course right? Please listen to the episode! https://21stcenturyhannah.libsyn.com/childless-not-by-choice-from-a-mans-point-of-view-with-fellow-podcaster-dr-vibe

Episodes with authors–I searched through the back catalog and found about seven episodes where I had the great opportunity to interview authors who have written on the subject of childlessness. If you have not listened to the back catalog, why not give it a try? I’m saying that knowing full well, like most podcasters, that our earlier work can feel cringe to us, but hey, it also shows how the show has matured.

Speaking of: It’s OK to re-listen to an episode. Just like we re-watch certain movies or shows, we can re-listen to a podcast episode. I notice that every time I have re-watched or re-listened, I catch something I missed the first time. Now, in full transparency, every time you listen, that is a download for me. But honestly, if downloads were all I cared about, I would have quit podcasting a long time ago. There’s a show I watch that is now in its seventh season! I have re-watched most of the episodes multiple times. And I am always shocked at what I missed the first or even the second time I watched. I guess it depends on what we may have been doing, aka multitasking, the first or second time we watch or listen to something. Also, an episode may affect you differently now, than it did when it first came out. So there’s that!

Lemonade. I want to re-visit patronage and giving: If you find value in the content. If the podcast has helped you in any way, consider giving/contributing. I would like to continue creating this podcast, and regardless of the contributions, I will continue. Honestly, if I ever stopped the podcast it would not be because of the finances on the platform. It would be because it is time. But being able to use your contributions to pay for things on the platform, is so cool! Once again, to those of you who give regularly, thank you! If you have been thinking about it but just have not gotten around to it, why not sign up during this time of my podcastiversary celebration? It would be truly appreciated. While I am asking, would you consider leaving a review at Apple Podcast to help bring recognition to the podcast? Anything you can do to help bring recognition to the podcast would be greatly appreciated!

Once again thank, thank you for being here. I see you, I think of you, you are worthy, you are here for a reason. You are fabulous! Don’t forget that! Here’s to another eight years. Cheers!

Special thank you to:

Everyone who listens to the podcast!

Childless not by Choice

enAugust 01, 2023

Episode 152--Father's Day, Again

Hello, and welcome to episode 152 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Father’s Day

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

It may be a little ironic, or maybe not, but I have not created a fresh June episode because I am caring for my dad. Many of you have heard bits and pieces in previous episodes, that I am his primary caregiver. And it is an honor. The last few months, as in since about the end of February, he has battled on through multiple medical issues. And I have battled to advocate for him. Unfortunately, advocating feels like an uphill battle. It sometimes feels like the medical community wants to dictate how I should not care for my father because they know best, even if they just see him as another elderly person.

There were several times when I thought ‘This is it, he’s not going to make it.’ But he continues to be with us. I cherish and thank God for every single day, every minute, I get with him.

Being a caregiver who works, means that I am on the run from the moment my eyes open in the morning, until bedtime. I do my very best to get at least seven hours, otherwise, there would just be no way to maintain my schedule. No. Way. Bottom line, sleep keeps me from falling apart.

I want to thank you for your patience as I navigate my life as it currently is, and my podcasting schedule. Not to pat myself on the back, but because I do take this podcast so seriously, the research, the guests, the everything; being able to go back and ask you to listen to a previous episode, which is what I am asking you to do this month; does not feel like a cop-out.

I have had the great privilege of having fabulous guests throughout the life of this podcast. The episode 143 guest, Dr. Robin Hadley, is no different. Episode 143 first aired in August of 2022. Please take a listen.

Thank you!

Articles/links of interest:

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-143-the-things-men-talk-about-my-conversation-with-dr-robin-hadley/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-130-about-fathers-day-and-childlessness/

Special thank you to:

Dr. Robin Hadley

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Survey:

https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV

Childless not by Choice

enJune 18, 2023

Episode 151--Without an Anchor on Mother's Day

Without an Anchor on Mother's Day

Hello, and welcome to episode 151 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Mother’s Day and Childlessness

But first: Are you following the Childless not by Choice podcast? This podcast, my podcast? It’s really easy to do and costs nothing. Simply go to Apple podcast, search for Childless not by Choice podcast, and follow. As soon as a new episode comes out, you are notified. As a follower, you get the new episode about a week before I start promoting it on social media.

Also, if you are a patron of the show, meaning you make a financial contribution to the show, more on that in a second, you get to be in the know first, whenever something new is happening!

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

This is year four since my mom left this world. I hear tell year three is the worst year of grieving a loss. Does that make year four and beyond, are more manageable? Maybe, but one of the important lessons I learned along the grieving journey, is that people grieve differently.

I’m glad I learned that early because I would have been upset at certain people that did not seem to grieve the way I was grieving.

I also realized that my grief wasn’t necessarily more important, it was just different. And different can happen for many reasons. It can happen if you were the last person to see that person alive, or you were the primary caregiver. It does not mean that the people who were not there or who were not the primary caregiver are not grieving. It just means that people will grieve differently.

That, again, was a very, very important lesson to learn, because I know I would have been upset if I did not get that understanding early.

So, does year four and beyond bring lesser grief? I don’t think so. I think grief just becomes more manageable with time. That’s it.

I find that I smile more when talking about my mom now. I was told that would happen, but I did not believe it! My mom had jokes. She loved to laugh. I am convinced she would have loved Tik Tok. I’ve mentioned this in the past, but she even got jokes out of the evening news. Go figure!

Sometimes I think about the jokes she told over and over, about her childhood. There are inside jokes I will take with me to my grave. There are things she made me promise not to tell. Mostly benign things to be honest. But I will honor her memory by keeping my promises to her.

No matter how young or old you are when you lose your mother, it doesn’t matter, in my opinion. Your mother is your anchor. When you lose her, you lose your anchor, at least temporarily. That was something else I learned early in my grief journey. I couldn’t figure out the feeling I had. I felt lost, and it was scary. Then someone mentioned that she felt anchorless after losing her mother. I remembered thinking, ‘That’s it! That’s the feeling I had, but did not understand.’

It’s so important, at least for me, to listen to other people’s grief journey. It doesn’t mean mine will be the exact journey, it just means I can glean something, and I have. A lot. I have heard some women say things like ‘It’s been 20 years since I lost my mom, and I still miss her so much!’ I was like What?! I can’t feel like this for 20 years!

But now, four years in, I realize what they mean. It’s still early days for me, but I can see how you can miss someone forever but still be able to manage life even as you manage loss.

If you do not or did not get along with your mother, if she did not care for you like a mother should, or the way you needed her to, I believe you can feel anchorless as well. I believe it is definitely a type of loss. And I’m sorry for your loss. I hope and pray for you, a peace that passes all understanding as you continue on your life’s journey.

Is there a convergence at a certain point in life as we continue on our childless not by choice journey, where the two types of grief: the loss of a mother and childlessness, converge?

I think maybe yes. For me, off and on I’ve felt a little off-kilter because there is no one to look back to for guidance, comfort, or commiseration, which is what I got from my mom. And no one to look forward to, in a child, to see what’s going on in the next generation. The only real connection I have to the next generation would be the young people in my life, mainly my nephews. I get a little snippet of what the next generation is dealing with, managing, and experiencing, by watching little snippets of their lives.

I’m a little out of touch with the current music and other trends because, I believe, I don’t have kids. Although honestly, I don’t think anything beats 80’s music!

If you have younger nieces and nephews whose lives you are allowed/able to be a part of, create a relationship with them. It’s easier when they are younger of course, but no matter when it is, start if you haven't already, make a genuine attempt. Even if it’s a card every once in a while, a gift card to their favorite place on their birthday, going to a game when you can, you know. Something that shows them you care. You can do all of that without being pushy. Let me know how it works, or if you need any tips. I am so honored to be a part of my nephew's lives. I hope you can have the same or similar experiences.

Well, before I leave you, let me give you some reminders:

Mother’s Day is a day of recognition. There are many fabulous moms, step-moms, foster moms, grandmothers who are taking the place of moms, aunt-moms, you name it, there are some fabulous women out there doing fabulous things to raise fabulous kids, which in turn keeps society together. Because without them, there would be societal mayhem. If you think things are bad now…if you are one of these people I just listed, thank you!
If you are childless not by choice, remember that you are worthy. We are worthy. With or without the recognition on Mother’s Day, we are worthy! If we are alive we have a role to play in this world. Never let anyone allow you to feel less than.
Practice mental health. If it means staying off of social media, do that. If it means skipping a ‘Mother’s Day luncheon’, skip it. If you recall from earlier episodes, I had stopped going to church on Mother’s Day after my mom passed. I only went to honor her. If there was a luncheon, I went to honor her. Now that she’s gone, I skip church on Mother’s Day. Practice mental health. Whatever that is for you. And don’t let anyone try to guilt you into doing anything you prefer not to do.
Create and maintain those firm but kind boundaries I talk about all the time, so that number three becomes easier to do. It will, I promise.

Do you recall from episode 150 where I mentioned that most childless not by choice listeners probably have had or will have some type of surgery? Well, I asked the question in the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook page, and I got a number of responses! Feel free to email me at civilla@civillamorgan.com Messenger me on Facebook or Instagram, and let me know. I will keep the poll open for a while longer, and share the statistics on a later episode. You all know I love statistics!

#youdonthaveto

Special thank you to:

‘Mareshah Miller, for this quote: ‘Mothers in disguise are called aunts.’

Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Survey:

https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV

Childless not by Choice

enMay 07, 2023

Episode 150-What Manner of Scar Tissue Mayhem is This!

Intro:

Hello, and welcome to episode 150 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Scar Tissue

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

Talk about what put me in the hospital for four days in early March.

So, on March 3rd I found myself in the worst belly pain I have ever had. The pain felt very similar to a pain I had the year before, but the pain had gone away by the next day. This time, it wasn’t going away. By the next day, I made the decision to go to the emergency room. I told them what was going on with this immense pain in my stomach, and they took an MRI of my belly. The test results came back: partially blocked intestines. I was like what?! What does that even mean? It turns out that what was causing the partial blockage was scar tissue.

I asked then scar tissue from what!? My last surgery for anything was in 2011! I was told it did not matter how long ago the surgery was, scar tissue can come back to haunt you at any time. The whole thing sounded out of this world. Unbelievable.

For a fleeting moment, I thought about how all those surgeries I had for a decade, as I tried to buy time. Should I have had the hysterectomy earlier? I should have skipped all of the myomectomies. But the fact is looking back is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything.

I guess the medical staff was used to this because immediately they gave me a concoction to coat my stomach and quell the pain. They also offered some very strong pain medication, but I declined it as I wanted to be alert and aware. I had gone to the emergency room alone, and my dad had recently been put into rehab. I wanted to be coherent for any possible phone call from the rehab center as he had been there less than a week.

Talk about the statistics for childless women over 50.

So, according to Statista, a statistics company, 15.4% of women over 50 are childless. Why am I mentioning this, because well, I’m, um, a certain age? Ok, I’m in that age group. OK, but I’m talking about this because as I mentioned earlier when I got the MRI results that I had a partially blocked intestines, the first things that started to come to my mind were ‘I should have had the hysterectomy earlier’, ‘I should not have waited an entire decade’, ‘why did I try to buy time?’ All of these questions! Until I made myself stop! Questioning, second-guessing, none of that would change anything now.

Discuss how not to get scar tissue

I have an article on the website www.childlessnotbychoice.net about post-operation behavior to help you heal better and avoid scar tissue. Link in the show notes I knew that avoiding scar tissue was and is very important. I thought I had done everything I could to avoid scar tissue, but I guess not!

Discuss stress, adhesions, and scar tissue

I was told that this type of issue, pain, is typically brought on by stress. And yes, I have been under a lot of stress the last few months. I have been trying to figure out how stress could bring this on. This isn’t my first bout with stress since my last surgery in 2011. But maybe it is a combination of high stress and just plain getting older.

Research links:

https://www.statista.com/statistics/241535/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-age/

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2010/06/25/childlessness-up-among-all-women-down-among-women-with-advanced-degrees/

Articles/links of interest:

https://kashmirobserver.net/2023/03/17/finding-hope-and-happiness-beyond-childlessness/?unapproved=45353&moderation-hash=17d1478d87afd99cead8a3fcc981ecba#comment-45353

Special thank you to:

The hospital staff that cared for me during my four-day stay.