Podcast Summary
Zena's journey of self-liberation: Despite growing up in a dysfunctional family and the darker side of the 60s and 70s, one can find the strength to break free from conditioning and forge a new path
Despite growing up in a controversial and dysfunctional family headed by the infamous founder of the Church of Satan, Zena Shrek found the strength to break free from her conditioning and forge her own path. Her experiences serve as a reminder that no matter how difficult our circumstances, there is always a way out and that everything is impermanent. The 1960s and 70s, a time of hedonism and counterculture, had a darker side, and the Church of Satan, though often associated with the occult, was actually a counterculture to the counterculture, promoting a different kind of hedonism. Zena's father, Anton Lave, was a performer and showman who believed in manipulating people and saw the world as a carnival. Zena's story provides hope for those who feel trapped by their upbringing or circumstances, demonstrating that with strength of character and a greater vision, it is possible to break free from conditioning and chart a new course.
The Complexity of The Church of Satan: The Church of Satan, led by Anton LaVey, was more complex than a hangout place for youth culture rebels, but lacked academic soundness and functioned like a private club.
The Church of Satan, led by Anton LaVey, was not as simple or straightforward as it appeared. While there were certainly deviant and neurotic individuals involved, the organization was more complex than a "hang out" place for youth culture rebels. LaVey himself was a narcissistic, Machiavellian showman who saw an opportunity to create a religion based on people's base desires. However, his approach was not academically sound or truly religious. Instead, it functioned more like a private club. The speaker, who was raised in this environment, felt compelled to protect her father during the Satanic panic of the 1980s, out of love, fear, and a sense of responsibility. Despite the chaos in her personal life during that time, she saw the need to show that Satanists were real people and not just bogeymen for media exploitation. The speaker's father's attitude, which included taking advantage of those who wanted to be taken advantage of, was a reflection of a Machiavellian worldview, but it could also be seen as divine vengeance against the foolish. However, this justification for predatory behavior could be dangerous and lead to further harm.
Family Loyalty vs Morality: Family loyalty and personal morality can conflict, leading individuals to make difficult decisions to prioritize their values and protect themselves from harmful influences.
Despite feeling deeply connected to her complex and charismatic father, the speaker's loyalty to her family and her own moral compass eventually led her to sever ties with him, not as an act of rebellion but as a necessary step. The speaker's father, who was a leader in the Church of Satan, presented a paradoxical image, embracing both sexual hedonism and law and order, and the speaker's dutiful nature made it difficult for her to escape his influence. However, as she began to publicly defend him and realize his lack of concern for the wellbeing of others, she came to the gradual understanding that she needed to distance herself from him.
Representing controversial figures: Navigating cognitive dissonance and acting as a mouthpiece requires filtering info through one's conscience, questioning selectivity and purpose, and grappling with deeper philosophical implications.
The speaker's experience of representing a controversial figure involved navigating cognitive dissonance and acting as a mouthpiece while filtering information through her own conscience. She lived with the disillusionment gradually, as she began to question the selectivity and purpose of the religion, leading her to grapple with deeper philosophical implications. The speaker's father, who founded the Church of Satan, was influenced by Machiavellianism and Rasputin, using his connections to influence others. He saw his followers as paying customers, with different tiers based on influence and importance. The speaker drew parallels between her father's actions and the negative portrayal of actors in Disney's Pinocchio, suggesting that success is based on an act rather than real contribution. Overall, the speaker's experience highlights the complexities and contradictions inherent in representing a controversial figure and the philosophical questions that arose from it.
Church of Satan's martyrdom of false compassion: The Church of Satan's devotion to the cause and leader, even at the expense of family, is an example of martyrdom of false compassion, a form of narcissism also found in Buddhism.
The Church of Satan, as portrayed in the discussion, can be seen as an invitation to a dark and magical realm. The founders, including the speaker's father, believed in the corruption of mainstream society and sought to challenge it. The speaker's mother, who was younger and admired her husband's creativity and talent, played a significant role in building and administering the Church. Despite her narcissistic tendencies, she was also a martyr in the sense of sacrificing her time and energy for the cause. This form of narcissism, known as martyrdom of false compassion, can be found in various contexts, including Buddhism, where it's referred to as "idiot compassion." In the Church of Satan, the martyrdom took the form of devotion to the cause and the leader, even if it meant neglecting the needs of their own family.
Ego-driven compassion: Ego-driven compassion can lead to destructive consequences, as shown in the story of Adam and Eve and the speaker's experience with their parents' involvement in a cult
Compassion, when motivated by ego and a false sense of superiority, can lead to destructive consequences. This concept is exemplified in the story of Adam and Eve, where Eve's "idiot compassion" allowed her to disregard the moral order and bring sin into the world. This idea relates to the speaker's experience with their parents, particularly their mother's enabling and eventual sacrifice to a cult. The speaker emphasizes that masculine and feminine roles are not strictly defined within the Abrahamic paradigm and can exist on a spectrum, with both positive and negative expressions. In the context of the speaker's parents, the mother's martyrdom and attraction to their father's excitement and allure contributed to her involvement in the cult.
Mother-daughter dynamics: The speaker's complex relationship with her mother led her to seek validation and attention from her charismatic father, resulting in her involvement with the Church of Satan and eventual disillusionment.
The speaker's mother's complex relationship with her natural father left a void in her psyche, which was filled by the speaker's devotion and attention. Additionally, her desire for validation and approval from her mother drove her to align herself with her flamboyant and charismatic father, even as she concealed his involvement with the Church of Satan from her mother. The speaker took on the role of high priestess for five years, defending her parents and representing the Church, but eventually became disillusioned and sought a new way of understanding the world. The dynamics between her mother and her own relationship with her mother and grandmother shaped her experiences and left her feeling judged and ambiguously valued.
Religious Discrimination: During a time of religious hysteria, being identified with a controversial belief system can lead to discrimination, emotional turmoil, and missed opportunities.
During a time of religious hysteria, the speaker found herself unexpectedly thrust into the role of a high-profile spokesperson for Satanism. This experience opened her eyes to the harm caused by the panic and her own compassion for those affected. Despite the attention, she faced discrimination in her professional pursuits and was unable to escape the stigma associated with her identity. However, her representation of Satanism inadvertently led to an increase in membership for her father's organization, resulting in a brief financial benefit for her. Ultimately, she paid a heavy emotional price for her involvement, which included being torn between her parents and losing opportunities in her desired career in the arts.
Self-Control and Power: Recognizing and refraining from using power for destructive purposes leads to the true power of self-control. This was realized during meditation practice and reflected upon in a past interview experience.
Understanding and recognizing one's true power involves knowing what one is capable of and having the discipline to refrain from using that power for destructive purposes. The speaker shares an experience from her past where she had the opportunity to use her power to manipulate situations to her advantage but chose instead to refrain, leading to a realization of the true power of self-control. This understanding came to her during her Buddhist meditation practice, which emphasizes the importance of recognizing and refraining from harmful actions. The speaker also reflects on a past interview where she was wrongly accused and how a kind journalist offered her a platform to speak without interruption, leading to a premonition of her future spiritual path.
LaVern's spiritual journey: LaVern left the Church of Satan due to its nefarious activities and explored Buddhism, leading to a complex emotional journey involving ritual to sever ties and find safety and new perspective.
LaVern's decision to leave the Church of Satan was driven by both a growing awareness of the church's nefarious activities and a desire to explore an alternative path, which eventually led her to Buddhism. She felt anger and hurt when she left, but ultimately sought to understand the origins of the church's teachings and beliefs, and to challenge them with her own understanding. This process involved a complex emotional journey and the use of ritual to sever ties with the church and place a curse on her father. Despite the challenges, LaVern found safety and eventually, a new perspective on life.
Personal growth: Patience, self-reflection, and open-mindedness are essential in personal growth. Old mindsets don't disappear overnight, but exploration and discovery can lead to sustainable growth.
Personal growth and spiritual development are complex processes that don't happen overnight. The speaker, Zina, shared her journey from Satanism to Buddhism, explaining how she reconciled her past desires for vengeance with her newfound emphasis on compassion. She noted that just because she had left the Satanic path doesn't mean that her old mindset had vanished. Instead, she began exploring other spiritual paths and eventually realized that the Satanic way of life was unsustainable and even harmful to her health. Zina also emphasized that being lost can be a blessing, as it allows us to hit rock bottom and discover our true selves. Overall, her story highlights the importance of patience, self-reflection, and open-mindedness in the pursuit of personal growth.