Food For Thought: Attribution Theory

Dr. Kate Balestrieri is a sex-positive therapist whose clinical focus is to help people heal from trauma, establish healthy boundaries, build effective communication strategies, improve relationships, and enhance their sex lives. Her work places extra emphasis on the connection between thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations in order to help people create transformation in their lives and relationships through the mind-body connection. 

Guided by the synthesis of multiple theoretical approaches—including psychodynamic, affect regulation, interpersonal neurobiological, attachment focused, cognitive behavioral, somatic and systemic principles—she incorporates evidenced-based research into her counseling services. 

Dr. Kate Balestrieri is also the Founder of the platform Modern Intimacy, which provides an inclusive space for people to get access to education about important but stigmatized topics that people live with every day, related to trauma, relationships, sexual health, and sexual sexual problems.

In our conversation, we explore different definitions of pleasure, joy, and contentment—and the importance of challenging our default definitions of everyday terms. We discuss the relationship between sexual pleasure and non-sexual pleasure, how pleasure is something we are innately capable of yet culturally conditioned away from, the role of shame and self-sabotage, and how we can cultivate a pleasure practice to reclaim pleasure in our lives. 

Dr. Jeremy Goldberg is a PhD scholar who spent the past five years studying the science of human behavior, specifically how attitudes affect action and how we can communicate to inspire greater and lasting change. He is a TEDx speaker, coach, founder of Love Distance Love Bombs and host of The Long Distance Love Bombs Podcast.

We talk about how to stop being afraid of standing up for yourself or having hard conversations, learn how to ask for what you want and express your needs with confidence, step into your power and care less about what other people think, and how to understand and unpack the stories we tell ourselves in order to get the life we want as a result.

Dr. Amy Moors research focuses on issues related to gender, sexuality, diversity, and well-being. For example, examining diverse expressions of sexuality, including how stigma affects well-being among sexual minorities and people engaged in consensually non-monogamous relationships. Her research has been featured in TIME, Scientific American, and The Atlantic. 

In addition to serving on the faculty at Chapman University, Dr. Moors is a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University and the co-chair of the American Psychological Association’s Division 44 Consensual Non-Monogamy Task Force. 

We discuss the meaning of consensual non-monogamy (CNM), important terms and terminology, misconceptions about CNM relationships, how CNM and monogamous relationships are similar vs. different, what we can learn from types of relationships different from our own, and some of the surprising findings from her research.  

Sasza was recently interviewed by Stella Stephanopoulos as a guest on the Everyday Endorphins podcast. We received so much positive feedback from it that we decided to reshare it here on the BBXX podcast! 

Stella interviews Sasza about building a deeper understanding of ourselves and how the relationship with ourselves is the pathway towards creating deeper, more intimate, relationships with others. They explore why many people tend to find romantic partners when they least expect it, what it means to date intentionally, the role of patience and timing, and how Sasza manifested her partner through a love letter. They also discuss self care as a form of self respect and how we all embody yin and yang energy in different ways.  

We talk about the mind-body connection, high performance habits, breaking down old beliefs, how to move from a state of mental stress to mental strength, and how to work towards the ultimate goal of success without sacrifice. We also share tips for how to design a “sensory diet” in order to escape from the overstimulation that plagues our modern day-to-day lives. 

Dr. Blossom is a doctor of occupational therapy and high performance coach. She works with high-achievers and high-achieving organizations and leverages the latest science and research related to the body-mind connection in order to demonstrate how the power of your brain paired with high performance habits can radically reshape the direction of your life and work.

We talk about the mind-body connection, how to influence our bodies through our mind—and inversely—how to influence our mind through our body. 

We explore what sex represents, the meanings we attach to it, and some common anxieties and fears underlying it. We discuss shame, the purpose it serves, where it originates from, and ways to liberate ourselves from shame through awareness and exploration of ourselves and our relationship to sex & sexuality.  

Arlyn Owens is a psychosexual therapist, educator, and registered nurse. Arlyn provides counseling and therapy around the topics of sexuality, intimacy, and relationships. His areas of expertise include communication, shame and identity, kink, and consensual non-monogamy.

A few months ago, I made up this thought exercise, and I couldn’t get it out of my head. I kept coming back to it, kept feeling relief from it, and kept getting positive feedback from people I had shared it with. It might be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s actually liberating, and it forces a perspective shift that can be game-changing in your relationship.

This is the story that challenged me in a big way—and a really great way. I’ve never thought of blame, accountability, or responsibility the same ever since, and it’s been game-changing in my relationships.

Have you ever felt frustrated with where you are in life? How did you get to where you are now? Did you choose the life you’re currently living or did it sort of happen by default? Have you consciously, intentionally designed the life you are living, or do you feel like things are happening to you and out of your control?

These are some of the thought-provoking questions we reflect on as we explore how to live a life by design rather than by default! We talk about how to recognize when you’re not living a life true to yourself, how to understand what your core values are, and how to live in deeper alignment with those values. We share advice for ditching the default life, redefining success and failure, creating goals, building consistent habits, and incorporating more fun and play into your daily life.

Kate House believes that “if nothing changes, nothing changes” and seven years ago she decided to change everything. She realized by not changing her circumstances she was actually choosing to stay in them. She left her job to pursue a new path that was better for her health, her family, and her happiness. She is now a certified health coach and host of the “Live By Design” podcast. 

Want to experience more positive feelings, a stronger sense of life satisfaction, and less negative emotions in your life? Join us for a conversation to uncover the key ingredients that will maximize your happiness and well-being. 

Stella Stephanopoulos is the host of the Everyday Endorphins podcast, which hosts conversations on the nuances of mental health and wellness with the goal of inspiring others to feel empowered to take control of their own wellbeing by focusing on what brings them joy and happiness. Stella has a degree in Philosophy-Neuroscience-Psychology and is a contributing writer for Thrive Global.

We talk about eudaimonic vs. hedonic well-being, positive psychology, type 1 vs. type 2 fun, comparison as the thief of joy, the role of guilt, pride, and shame in hustle culture, how to evaluate your own happiness and wellbeing, and the best habits to help increase your sense of happiness and well-being.