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    Gary Vee ON: Living Without Judgment & How to Stop Beating Yourself Up When You Make Mistakes

    enJune 13, 2022

    Podcast Summary

    • Emphasizing Self-Determination and Positive ChangeIndividuals hold the power to decide what they consume, believe, and surround themselves with, leading to positive change in personal relationships and larger events.

      Importance of taking control and accountability in various aspects of life. The speaker emphasizes that individuals have the power to decide what they consume, believe, and surround themselves with. He also shares his excitement about his new book, "8 Rules of Love," and reflects on the success of his event, Vcon. The speaker's father's praise for him in the video was significant because of their differences, and the speaker acknowledges that his father grew up in a very different environment. Despite these differences, the speaker was able to make a positive impact on his father's perspective. Overall, the discussion highlights the importance of self-determination and the potential for positive change in personal relationships and larger events.

    • Father's upbringing shapes perspective on life and workUnderstanding different backgrounds can lead to positive influence and happiness, and being both affectionate and assertive is key to effective communication.

      The upbringing and experiences of individuals significantly shape their perspectives and interactions with the world. The speaker's father, who grew up in the USSR, had a vastly different outlook on life and employees compared to the speaker, who grew up in a more open society. This difference became apparent during a recent conversation, where the speaker identified an ingredient that, if used differently by his father, could bring happiness to everyone around him. The speaker expressed the emotional impact of being able to positively influence someone's life, especially someone you love deeply. The conversation also touched on the importance of being both affectionate and assertive, rather than choosing one over the other. Additionally, the speaker lamented the current political climate, where people feel pressured to conform to one ideology or another, rather than finding common ground and working towards solutions that benefit everyone.

    • Embracing Complexity and Being True to OneselfUnderstanding and accepting personal complexities and staying true to oneself can lead to growth and success. Embrace authenticity, reduce judgment, and focus on personal standards.

      Embracing contradictions and being true to oneself, rather than trying to fit into a single definition or role, can lead to personal growth and success. Jade, the speaker, shares her experiences of being a paradoxical person who is passionate about building big companies while also wanting everyone else to win, and who enjoys spiritual conversations as much as strategic discussions. She encourages people to understand that everyone is complex and unique, and that it's important to be self-aware and self-loving. Jade also emphasizes the importance of clarity and authenticity in content creation, and encourages people to do things on their own terms, even if it means going against the norm. She advocates for reducing judgment, both of others and of oneself, and for focusing on personal standards and morals without self-criticism. Overall, Jade's message is one of embracing complexity, authenticity, and self-love.

    • Understanding Intent and Self-AwarenessSelf-awareness can help limit the impact of envy and jealousy by eliminating intent in judging others and redefining success as a process rather than a trophy.

      Intent should be considered and self-awareness is crucial in overcoming feelings of envy and jealousy. The elimination of intent in judging others allows us to project negative labels instead of understanding how they arrived at their current situation. Envy and jealousy are powerful emotions, but self-awareness can limit their impact and help us redefine success. Redefining success and focusing on the process rather than the trophies can help close gaps of insecurity. Self-awareness is attractive and essential for building better relationships. When we have a better understanding of how we affect others, we are in a stronger position to improve ourselves and our relationships.

    • The power of compassion and empathyEffective handling of challenging situations requires compassion and empathy. Prioritize kindness and understand underlying emotions for a fulfilling life.

      Compassion and empathy, when combined, create a calming and absorptive environment that allows for effective handling of challenging situations in both personal and professional life. The speaker's lack of expectation of others and ability to quickly respond with concern rather than judgment contributes to their overall happiness. The speaker also values competition and ambition but prioritizes kindness above all else. They believe that eliminating merit and demonizing competition has led to an unhappy and unfulfilling societal norm. By focusing on personal growth and understanding the underlying emotions driving people's actions, we can create a more fulfilling and compassionate world.

    • Embracing challenges and discomfort for personal growthLearning to cope with discomfort and understanding that losing is a part of life are crucial for personal growth. Embrace challenges and failures, don't let them define you, and find balance in the middle path.

      Embracing challenges and discomfort, even failure, is essential for personal growth. The speaker shares his experiences of being bullied and facing adversity throughout his life, but instead of letting it define him, he used it as motivation to become confident and resilient. He believes that eliminating pain or loss completely can make individuals fragile, and it's crucial to help kids learn to cope with discomfort and understand that losing is a part of life. The Buddhist concept of the middle path is relevant here, as it encourages finding balance and not focusing too much on extremes. Overall, the speaker emphasizes the importance of developing a thick skin and learning from experiences, rather than avoiding discomfort or seeking constant validation.

    • Competing and Overcoming Adversity at a Young AgeEncouraging healthy competition and helping children learn from losses can foster self-reliance, responsibility, and confidence. Parents can push their children to take ownership of their lives and challenges to prepare them for the real world.

      Healthy competition and experiencing adversity at a young age can significantly contribute to personal growth and development. Parents play a crucial role in fostering this mindset by encouraging their children to compete and learn from losses, rather than shielding them from adversity. This approach can help children become self-reliant, responsible, and important contributors to their families and communities at an early age. The speaker's personal experience with his competitive father and the impact it had on his life serves as a powerful example of this concept. By pushing children to take ownership of their lives and challenges, parents can help them become confident, capable individuals who are prepared for the real world.

    • Emphasizing the Importance of PrivacyIndividuals have the right to control their personal information and should be cautious about public disclosure to avoid unwanted attention and loss of privacy.

      Individuals have the right to control what they share about their personal lives and should be cautious about the implications of public disclosure. This individual, who has recently become more public about certain aspects of their life, emphasized the importance of privacy and the need for individuals to remember they are in control of their own narrative. They also highlighted the potential consequences of sharing personal information, such as unwanted attention and loss of privacy. The individual's perspective was shaped by their own experiences and upbringing, where privacy was valued and protected. Ultimately, they encouraged individuals to consider carefully what they share and to respect the importance of maintaining personal boundaries.

    • Embracing Control in the Digital AgeIndividuals have the power to intentionally share personal info, build IP, and maintain privacy online. Avoid false vulnerability and protect children from exploitation.

      Individuals have the power to control their own vulnerability and privacy in the digital age. The speaker emphasizes the importance of intentionality and authenticity in sharing personal information, especially when it comes to family and personal life. She cautions against the false vulnerability encouraged by social media and the potential exploitation of children for brand deals. The speaker also highlights the power of building intellectual property to scale one's message and the importance of civility and patience towards each other. Ultimately, it's essential to remember that we are in control of what we share and when, and it's never too late to make changes or close the proverbial "kimono's box."

    • Taking Control of Your Life: Accountability, Social Media, and Personal GrowthGary Vaynerchuk emphasizes the importance of accountability for personal happiness, questioning the lack of it in social media, and encourages focusing on self-improvement through healthy choices and meaningful relationships.

      Accountability plays a crucial role in personal happiness and well-being. Gary Vaynerchuk expressed his belief that people should take responsibility for their own lives, including what they consume, believe, and the company they keep. He compared social media algorithms to hypnosis, acknowledging the endorphin hits but questioning the lack of accountability in these platforms. He drew parallels between taking control of one's life and making healthy choices, such as eating well and exercising. Vaynerchuk emphasized the importance of building meaningful relationships and embracing the potential of the present moment, despite the challenges and negativity that exist in the world. He encouraged everyone to focus on what they can do to improve their own lives and make the most of this unique time in history.

    • Exemplifying optimism and growth in difficult timesViktor Frankl's belief in finding meaning and maintaining a positive mindset, even in the Holocaust, is a powerful tool for survival and growth. Gary Vaynerchuk's continuous balance between selflessness and selfishness allows him to find meaning and energy in his work.

      Finding meaning and maintaining a positive mindset, even in the most difficult circumstances, is a powerful tool for survival and growth. This was exemplified by Viktor Frankl's experience in the Holocaust, where he saw himself as not a prisoner, but rather the guards as the prisoners of their own conscience. Frankl's belief in practical optimism and the importance of continuing to pursue worthy pursuits, both selflessly and selfishly, is a lesson for us all. It's important to remember that every generation has faced hardships, but choosing optimism and growth is the best alternative to pessimism. The continuous balance between selflessness and selfishness is a refining skill set that Gary Vaynerchuk continues to work on in his entrepreneurial pursuits. This mindset allows him to find meaning and energy in his work, which he can then deploy in a positive manner at scale.

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    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    • 13:40 How You React to Mistakes is Super Important
    • 14:47 Losing Focus Will Cost You a Lot
    • 17:34 Gratitude for the Team You Work with
    • 19:08 What Scares You Off Track?
    • 20:25 Channeling Grief into Growth
    • 22:19 “What Would My Father Want Me to Do?”
    • 23:19 Keep Important People Close Especially in Difficult Moments
    • 25:03 Always Stay Humble and Grateful
    • 26:08 In the Midst of Success, How Do You Stay Humble?
    • 28:23 What Criticism Hurts the Most?
    • 31:39 Car Racing Remains a Dangerous Sport
    • 32:55 Speed Isn’t the Only Important Part of F1 Racing
    • 34:19 Training is Different for F1 Drivers
    • 37:09 Have You Seen the Movie “The Rush”?
    • 39:07 Different Driving Experiences
    • 40:15 I Love Playing the Piano
    • 42:52 How Much Time Do You Spend with Family?
    • 44:47 The Incredible Racing Track of Ayrton Senna
    • 46:10 The Pros and Cons of an F1 Simulator
    • 48:19 On Lying About Signing the F1 Contract
    • 51:37 Is Driving a Lonely Sport?
    • 53:40 How Important Is It to Win the Championship?
    • 55:02 What Would You Say to Your Future Self?
    • 56:51 How Often Do You Work with Younger Drivers?
    • 58:56 “I Love What I Do But I Want to Be the Best.”
    • 01:00:27 Charles on Final Five 

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