Getting vulnerable, with Xander Marin

Natasha is a British-Asian woman who was born with a bicornate uterus, who found out at 21 that carrying a child to term would be very difficult and dangerous.

This helped Natasha make a careful, considered choice about being childfree, but it was the final disappointment for her traditional Hindu parents who she’s now cut out of her life.

This was an eye-opening conversation about growing up in England as someone of South Asian heritage, being “not brown enough” for some people, and breaking free of your family’s rigid expectations to create a lovely childfree life for yourself.

Read Natasha’s story on We are Childfree: “It was very much a decision thrust upon me at a really young age so it’s probably why I’ve thought about it more than my peers.”

Join your community of childfree cheerleaders and sign up for a We are Childfree membership today!

We are Childfree community member Lisa Jansen is really living up to her idea of a “life done differently”.

Based in New Zealand, Lisa left her cosy corporate life behind to live in a van for a summer - which turned into 5 years on the road! She’s just published a memoir called Life Done Differently, in which she shares the ups, downs and all the life-changing experiences of full-time van life.

We’ll be discussing Life Done Differently in the We are Childfree book club on September 21st. To join in, become a We are Childfree member today!

How do you decide whether to have kids or not? That's the question from a self-proclaimed fencesitter that we put to the We are Childfree community for this episode of Ask WAC!

How can you even imagine life as a parent? How do you separate external pressures from your own inner feelings? Listen to find out!

To get the full episode, join We are Childfree today 🤗

And if you have a question or problem you'd like the community's help with, email hello@wearechildfree with "Ask WAC" as the subject line, and we'll tap into the childfree hive mind for a future episode! 🐝

Do childfree people ever regret their decision? That's the burning question we put to the We are Childfree community for the very first episode of Ask WAC!

How many childfree people experience regret? Where does that regret come from? What does it feel like? Listen to find out!

Sources for this episode:
The incredible We are Childfree community. Join us!
MSU study confirms: 1 in 5 adults don’t want children — and they don’t regret it later
Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence by Dr Amy Blackstone
Podcast: No regrets, with 78 year-old childfree trailblazer Marcia Drut-Davis
Regrets, hot and cold on The History of Emotions Blog

If you have a question or problem you'd like the community's help with, email hello@wearechildfree with Ask WAC as the subject line, and we'll tap into the childfree hive mind for a future episode! 🐝

To get more Ask WAC, other bonus episodes PLUS the support of our wonderful community of childfree cheerleaders join We are Childfree today 🤗

Author Sari Botton calls her hysterectomy the best thing that ever happened to her, a true blessing. An older Gen Xer, she never felt entitled to choose not to be a mother, and at 40, found herself in a fertility clinic getting a diagnosis that gave her “permission” to live a happily childfree life. Sari has such a unique perspective, and it was amazing getting to talk about embracing a choice that was chosen for you, and the forces that want to strip us of our choices.

Check out Oldster Magazine, Sari’s incredible newsletter which explores what it means to travel through time in a human body, at every phase of life.

Read “My biological clock can’t tick fast enough” by Sari Botton.

Join the We are Childfree membership for a video version of this podcast.

The first man we’ve ever had on the pod! We’ve had a lot of requests to hear from couples about how they navigate the childfree choice together, so we reached out to Xander, husband and business partner of sex therapist Vanessa Marin. The couple opened up on their Pillow Talks podcast about their decision not to have children, in what proved to be their most popular episode ever!

Xander told us how they arrived at their choice, and when they did, how this “domino belief” gave them permission to create a life together that truly fulfils them. It was great to hear from a man about how his experience differs from his wife’s, how they’ve coped with their families’ expectations, and how they counsel parents about their relationships and sex lives.

Check out Vanessa and Xander Marin on vmtherapy.com and their Instagram.

Pillow Talks: The Truth About Why We’re Child Free

Pillow Talks: How To Decide If You Should Have Kids Or Not. And Are We Still Child Free By Choice?

Join the We are Childfree membership for a video version of this podcast.

Here's your first sip of Childfree Tea, the brand new bonus podcast from We are Childfree!

Join founders Zoë and James for an emotional update on the ups and downs of running a global childfree community. Get the latest on our beautiful fur baby Olive, our wonderful coverage in The Guardian, meeting childfree icon Cindy Gallop and our plans to hit the road.

To get more Childfree Tea, exclusive community interviews and answers to your burning questions, become a We are Childfree member today!

Cindy Gallop is the older childfree role model we all need! She calls herself the “Michael Bay of business” because she likes to blow shit up - most famously as the founder of the revolutionary social sex platform MakeLoveNotPorn.

Cindy never wanted children, adores being single, dates younger men casually and recreationally for sex, and doesn’t give a damn what anyone else thinks! She’s become an icon for Gen Z on TikTok, who can now say “I have seen my future and it is bright.” Join us for a pep talk about being unapologetically yourself and designing your own life, a life that gets better and better!

Find Cindy at cindygallop.com and MakeLoveNotPorn, and check out her revealing episode of What’s Underneath on StyleLikeU.

Cindy and I both recommend the incredible book “Why Have Kids?: A New Mom Explores the Truth About Parenting and Happiness” by Jessica Valenti.

Join the We are Childfree membership for an exclusive video version of this podcast.

Enjoy some classic We are Childfree! My conversation with clarity coach Keltie Maguire is one of our all-time most popular episodes - we still hear from people who say this conversation has helped them either work out whether they want kids or not, or to accept their ambivalence and move forward with their lives.

If you’d like more help navigating your ambivalence, check out the online workshop we’re running in collaboration with Keltie, “Kids or childfree?”. If you’re tired or making endless “pros and cons” lists, feel like time is running out to make a decision, or if you’re worried you’ll make the wrong choice and end up regretting it, this is the workshop for you! Pick up your ticket here and Keltie and I will see you there 💝

Like a lot of artists, portrait photographer Laura Zalenga is a dreamer. She imagines a future when generations live together, so the older people she met during her "Beauty of Age" project feel useful, and younger folks can benefit from their experience and wisdom. In this utopia, childfree people and parents support each other, and everyone has access to the education and choices that allow them to live the life that's right for them. What a wonderful world that would be! This was a super inspiring conversation with a fellow photographer who reminded me of the power of art to change how people think, how they live.

Find Laura at laurazalenga.com and follow her on Instagram at @laurazalenga. Her incredible "Beauty of Age" Adobe Creative Residency project can be found at beautyofage.myportfolio.com

And the podcast episode she mentioned is Sterilised at 23, with Daniela Echeverry from season 1 of We are Childfree.

Join the movement at wearechildfree.com ✊