Gifts: Beyond What's Inside, Episode 46

When in conversations or in meetings, do you ever start with "I could be wrong, but" or "Sorry but can I" or "Just wanted to"? We certainly have! Why do we feel the need to lead with apologizing, disclaiming, or discrediting ourselves? Is taking the one-down position to make others feel one-up at our own expense? Diminishing ourselves in front of others isn't self-protection; it's self-sabotage. We can be mindful of our Enoughness and make sure our words reflect that. How we explain ourselves externally is messaging for how we weel internally. Serve the world and serve yourself by not making yourself small. Because you are more than "just" enough, exactly as you are. Period.

Have you ever felt lonely while alone, or in a crowd. or even in a relationship? Can you lift yourself out of those feelings? Consider that the Universe has your back. Faith in something Greater can uplift you and even carry you. Plainly name and call out the feelings of being lonely, without shame, because they're universal feelings. Then welcome and receive invitations and moments when others reach out, and recognize when "little birdies" show up for us. We also have the ability to do that for others as divine extensions and instruments. Let's be open to the idea that we're all connected, because things can happen to us, and also through us and from us, so we really are never alone.

Have you ever wondered "Am I the a-hole" in this situation? Or watered-down a message, or even muted yourself, fearing being perceived as an a-hole? Accountability and self-reflection are important, but standing firm in one's convictions is equally important, depending on the scenario, and depending on the audience. Communication, connection. or mere civil discourse doesn't necessarily mean mutual agreement, and that's ok.  A person can give you their interpretation of you, and it's in your power to take it or not. A clear message delivered with composure and empathy is what you control, while another person's reception of it isn't under your control. You can be like teflon, and deflect weaponized labels and insults hurled your way, with a strong centered Self, because you are enough, just as you are.

What do you mean when you say "it's just my luck..."? Do you believe the Universe has got your back, and conspires to help you? Not everything in life is earned, deserved, or based on merit. There are things in your life that you have nothing to do with, and are out of your control. Can you recall unexplained circumstances in life where the open windows were even better than the closed doors you were banging on? In taking a Blessings Inventory, recognition of unmerited favor can take you beyond gratitude into a sense of awe. When we can become aware that not everything comes from effort, and surrender to something completely external and Greater than our human do-ing, when there is no explanation or algorithm-- that is when we can abundantly receive Grace bestowed on us, and the double blessing of the acute awareness of those gifts in our lives.

Do you feel like you haven't yet done anything worthy of applause? We all can applaud momentous occasions, but you can also applaud even the stumbles and falls, learning grace and levity along the way. Applause can turn a moment around for laughter and light and joy. Look for more opportunities to applause, celebrating effort as much as outcome. And don't forget to buoy yourself with applause if others are putting you down or drowning you out. Humility doesn't always have to mean deference. Own your journey, own your effort, and own your accomplishments. There's a difference between confidence and arrogance.  Even while being humble and grateful, recognize what you bring to the table and affirm your sense of self-worth, because you are enough and worthy of applause, just as you are.

Have you ever felt out of place or out of touch, compared to the majority? When it comes to what's popular, have you ever thought "What? I don't get it?" And that's ok – Give yourself permission to be Your Self! You do you, and then decide who you invite into your experience. If something's not even on your radar, then there is no FOMO.  In fact, instead of the fear of missing out, there's the joy of figuring out for yourself! Somebody else telling us what is worthy or what is valuable removes us from making the decision for ourselves. Buck the trend and stand out from the crowd, because you are enough, just as you are. Period.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed, or feel like Life just passes you by, because you're "soooo busy"? Do you feel under pressure to always have a plan, a goal, a task, or a full calendar? We can give ourselves permission to push back at the belief of having a list of actions that substantiates or validates an experience to make it worthwhile. We can be intentional about doing nothing, and honor when we're in need of restoration and a respite. Satisfaction doesn't just come from crossing off our To Do list. Sometimes what needs to be done is to be still and do nothing. And that's ok.

Did you know there's a difference between pleasure and enjoyment? In the pursuit of "happier-ness", shared experiences move the needle beyond pleasure to true enjoyment! Communal moments create memories, which can transport you back, and become gifts that keep on giving. Shared joy heightens exponentially the moment being experienced, and can be the Great Equalizer.  Shared experiences break down walls, where we see each other as humans, not as labels, and can be the salve to the wound of being Other-ed. Life is not made to live alone. Life is meant to be lived, and meant to be shared.

Did you know the key to happiness is living in alignment with your priorities and values? When we don't make choices aligned with our chosen, self-professed priorities and values, that's how we create discord and unhealthy dis-ease internally.  And externally, intent and impact are both important yet aren't always the same, and can cause confusion at best, or harm at its worst. Being mindful of how we spend our time and how we spend our mind matter. Having clarity and knowing our priorities helps filter distracting noise around attaining goals, to live mindfully aligned with our values.

Are you always insistent on The Best, and nothing less will do? How does that serve you, and is it even healthy? Sometimes, you can use your time better than constantly searching for Best or Perfect.  It's amazing what we miss out on, when we worry about what we're missing.  In search of the Best, you can miss right where you are and miss experiencing what you have now. 

In pursuit of some ambiguous "better", it's hard to enjoy and savor what's in front of you, too busy measuring up rather than simply experiencing. Critiquing something so much can even destroy the value of it, and self-prophesy disappointment. Instead, we can adopt the mindset of seeing what was gained rather than what fell short. The goalposts of Best often keep moving, so we might as well make room for Good Enough, and even change the definition and parameters of "enoughness", to find joy in life as is.