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    Grief: How to Move Through Losing a Friend with Sloane Crosley

    enMay 30, 2024

    Podcast Summary

    • Diapers vs Clothing QualityPampers Swaddlers offer superior absorption and leak protection for babies' skin while Vuori clothing is a soft, versatile, and comfortable investment for various occasions

      Both Pampers Swaddlers diapers and Vuori clothing offer exceptional quality and value in their respective categories. Pampers Swaddlers provide superior absorption and leak protection for babies' delicate skin, ensuring a healthy and beautiful complexion. Meanwhile, Vuori clothing, with its soft, versatile, and comfortable designs, is an investment in one's happiness, suitable for various occasions and activities. Additionally, Pampers offers exclusive savings and rewards through their Pampers Club app, making it an even more attractive choice for parents. Vuori, on the other hand, extends a special offer for our listeners: 20% off their first purchase, free shipping on US orders over $75, and free returns. Sloan Crossley's memoir, "Grief is for People," shares her personal experiences with loss, highlighting the unique challenges and complexities of dealing with suicide and sudden death. Her writing is deeply specific and personal, making it a standout and thought-provoking read.

    • Discussing suicideDiscussing suicide, though taboo, can reduce stigma, provide relief, and foster connection. Acknowledging its existence can help us appreciate life.

      Discussing death and suicide, though often considered a taboo subject, is essential for reducing the stigma surrounding it. People are scared to talk about it due to fear, confusion, and ego, but opening up about these thoughts and experiences can lead to a sense of relief and connection. Suicide is not an exceptional act, but rather a complex issue that affects individuals differently. By acknowledging and discussing the various shades of this issue, we can help each other feel less alone and better understand ourselves and those around us. The fear of death often drives us to avoid discussing suicide, but acknowledging its existence and having open conversations about it can actually help us appreciate the value of life.

    • Grief and candorUnexpected forms of grief can lead to meaningful projects and personal growth, while honest and candid interactions can lead to life-changing moments

      Sometimes, people grieve in unique and unexpected ways. The speaker in this conversation shared a story about her late friend, a generous and funny man who made a significant impact on her life. She wanted to write a book that encapsulated his spirit, even though he might not have appreciated the idea of a book about himself. The speaker also shared a story about her old boss in publishing who gave candid advice to a job applicant, which led to a life-changing moment for both parties. The theme of candor and honesty emerged as a common thread in both stories. The speaker acknowledged that it's not always easy to see things clearly in the aftermath of loss, but the memories and experiences shared with loved ones can provide comfort and inspiration. Additionally, the conversation touched on the importance of efficiency and reducing costs in business operations, with a mention of NetSuite as a solution for managing multiple systems. The speaker also mentioned IXL Learning as a helpful resource for parents who struggle to assist their children with homework.

    • Friends' betrayal and grievingNavigating complex emotions of betrayal and grieving in the context of a friend's death can be challenging, especially during a pandemic and societal norms. Focusing on self-reflection and acceptance can lead to a healthier grieving process.

      The process of grieving, especially when it comes to losing a friend, can be complex and challenging. The speaker in this conversation felt anger and confusion after discovering her friend had betrayed her, leading to his death. She struggled with her role as a friend versus a family member or partner, and the lack of clear guidelines for grieving in this capacity. The pandemic and societal norms added to the difficulty in processing her emotions. The speaker also reflected on the importance of self-reflection and accepting the unknown aspects of a person's death. She shared that while it's natural to want to understand every detail, letting go of these questions and focusing on acceptance can lead to a healthier grieving process.

    • Celebrating life before grieving deathFocusing solely on a loved one's death can hinder the grieving process. Remembering and celebrating their life and experiences first can help in healing.

      Focusing solely on a loved one's death can hinder the grieving process and erode their memory. It's essential to remember that the deceased person lived a full life before their passing, and their memories and experiences should be celebrated first. The speaker shares her struggle with this concept, as she found herself fixated on the circumstances surrounding her brother's suicide. However, she eventually learned to let go of the questions and focus on the positive memories they shared. The speaker's experience highlights the importance of acknowledging the complexity of grief and allowing oneself to feel a range of emotions while also celebrating the life that was lived. It's a delicate balance, but an essential one for those navigating the grieving process. Additionally, the speaker emphasizes the importance of seeking out resources and support during this time. Whether it's through writing a book, reaching out to friends, or utilizing services like Viator or MasterClass, there are various tools and communities available to help individuals process their grief and find healing. It's crucial to remember that everyone's grieving process is unique, and there is no "right" or "wrong" way to navigate it. Instead, focus on finding what works best for you and lean on the support of others when needed.

    • Expressions of GriefAuthentic expressions of care and connection, even if difficult, are essential during times of grief. Simple gestures like sharing stories or reaching out to friends can provide comfort and help remember the beauty of the person lost.

      During times of grief, it's essential to find meaningful connections and expressions, even if they seem cliche or difficult to find. Whether it's reaching out to a friend or sharing a heartfelt story, these gestures can provide comfort and help remember the beauty of the person lost. Authenticity and care are crucial, and it's okay if words don't come easily. Sometimes, a simple text or story can be a powerful and lasting gift. Additionally, it's important to avoid multitasking during condolence calls or messages, as giving your full attention shows respect and care. Remember, friends are valuable and voluntary relationships that require effort and care, and they can provide unique forms of comfort and support during times of loss.

    • Button exerciseThe 'button exercise' is a thought-provoking scenario that encourages introspection on priorities and decision-making processes by imagining a life-or-death situation with someone you love.

      The exercise of imagining a life-or-death situation with someone you love can help you understand your priorities and decision-making processes. This thought-provoking scenario, often referred to as the "button exercise," encourages introspection on who you value more than yourself and how you make choices between self-interest and the well-being of others. Sloan Crossley, the speaker in this conversation, shares her personal experience with this exercise and its significance in helping her navigate complex relationships and decisions. While the scenario itself may not have a definitive answer, the exercise serves as a valuable tool for self-reflection and personal growth.

    • Present moment focus during grievingFocusing on the present moment and choosing to live can help individuals cope with loss and find moments of bliss and acceptance, ultimately leading to growth and healing.

      During the grieving process, focusing on the present moment and choosing to live can be a helpful way to cope with loss, even if it feels like a betrayal or abandonment of the deceased in the initial hours. This mindset allows individuals to find moments of bliss and acceptance, acknowledging that they are not the same but still connected to their past. It's essential to recognize the people who are still around and lean on them for support. Although it's natural to feel disconnected or scared, embracing the living and letting go of the past can ultimately lead to growth and healing.

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