Hard Choices 27 - Dragon Age

We at Hard Choices like to think we have our fingers on the throbbing pulse of pop culture, so when Baldur's Gate 3 won just about every Game of the Year award purely out of how horny it made everyone, we knew we couldn't pass up the opportunity to explore the delicious nooks and sweaty crannies of the Sword Coast through the lens of this groundbreaking, bed-shaking trilogy. Join Dan, Maq, Miles, and Meganbob as we ask: which heroes and villains are we saving our highest-level spell slots for, and which ones are we leaving behind in the deservedly Forgotten Realms? When everything from vampires to mind flayers to actual bears are on the table, is any monsterfucker truly safe? And most importantly, how do we feel about possibly having a miniature giant space hamster secretly watching our every thrust and gasp?

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire, including updates about the upcoming LIVE Bad Choices - Hanna-Barbera recording on Saturday, April 20th at 5pm Pacific!

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NOTE: You want a calendar with shirtless Irish farmers on it? Naturally, you do. Throw $4.20 at Hard Choices and get entered to win one of these three perfect pieces of useful wall art.

It was just another quiet day in the Soul Society until Hard Choices rolled up, ready to find out exactly how much reishi everyone has under those robes! Kurotsuchi probably already knows the answer to that question, but his methods for finding out just aren't personal enough for Neal Butler, Kit, MeganBob, and TikTok legend Cosplayfiend! Only working through our list to find out who fucks like every move is their Bankai and who fucks like they'd really rather be doing a training montage can give us the dark knowledge we crave.

Just how insufferable is Gin's creepy self-satisfaction? How sexy is a basket-wearing wolfman? How much do all of us want to lay our heads on Shunsui's very hairy chest? You can only find the answers to these questions by going on a journey that's almost as long as the entirety of BLEACH, but don't worry, we won't make you learn about Bounts.

Join us as we take one of the Big Three among anime and give it the working over that no amount of cheesecake pinups and sexy cosplay could have prepared you for. Cosplayfiend is already TikTok legend for his takes on some of these sword-swingers, so don't miss that either.

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire!

Hard Choices on Patreon
Instagram: hardchoicespod
TikTok: @hardchoicespod
Twitter: @hardchoicespod
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Big government isn't sexy. But small government? Local government? That government where you can get right up close and see the process unfolding. That government where you can run into your city councilor at the gym? Or at the local liquor store? Or trying to bribe a raccoon for votes? That's the kinda government you can get down and dirty with.

This month, Hard Choices visits the recent past with a trip to Pawnee, Indiana. Yes, the bright-eyed innocence and the can-do attitude that believes yes, holes can be filled. We rounded up Kam Servo, Owen Winters, Kris Newton, and MeganBob to break a few noise ordinances (and one about keeping your pets on a leash.)

Whether you're hot for Ron Swanson, April Ludgate, or genuinely ready to take the biggest dick in Pawnee, courtesy of JerryGaryLarry, this episode has you covered.

Hard Choices: It's horniness you can believe in!

(And the outtakes are normally only on Patreon, but I couldn't resist leaving them in as a little December giftie - MBob)

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire!

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Hard Choices swept through all of the 80's cartoons you know and love to select the cream of the crop (and Allo from Dinosaucers) to make sure that this episode is peak after peak. You can expect Big Feels aplenty from Hub, Annie Craton, Meganbob, and host, Kris Newton, as they get vocal about Cobra Commander, Master Splinter, Gadget, and Krang. Never has a group of characters cried out so powerfully for us to ask "how good is the sex and what is it like?" and we can promise that you'll get some answers that will make you gasp, laugh, and maybe even rush to AO3 for a fanfic fix. 

The video of the panel, slideshow, and individual rankings are publicly available on Patreon! Check it out here to see our adorable faces!

Video and audio of the panel was recorded live at Rose City Comic Con 2023, courtesy of Derek Conrad of the Bugs Need Heroes podcast. Check it out here!

"Hottest Female up in Whoville" can be found here!

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire!

Hard Choices on Patreon
Instagram: hardchoicespod
TikTok: @hardchoicespod
Twitter: @hardchoicespod
Gmail: hardchoicespod@gmail.com

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https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
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https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
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https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed
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On September 3rd, 2023, four plucky perverts disappeared into the depths of the Internet while recording a podcast about their yearning to fuck cryptids.

One month later, their audio was found.
(Then, the editor spent three weeks making it listenable. Two of the hosts were sick and the other two were sharing a microphone, so there are probably some errant thumps and sniffles, but let's not speak ill of the mysteriously vanished.)

This episode is dedicated to

the four brave blur-chasers whose pursuit of the unknown (i.e., their desire to fuck Mothman ASAP) cost them what they held most dear (i.e, the possibility of fucking Mothman in the future).

Can something be simultaneously wholesome, horny, and hilarious? Only if you're the Hard Choices podcast. Hard Choices looks at the bedroom skill of fictional characters and asks "how good is the sex and what is it like?" What does that sound like as a podcast? Buddy, this trailer takes you through some highest highs and most unbelievable lows of ranking the f*ckability of fictional characters.

If you've ever thought that Miss Piggy was a pillow princess or that Ra's al Ghul was a Daddy, this show is for you. If you like this trailer, pick any episode that piques your interest and give it a try! The episodes are standalone and don't require listening in any order or that you listen to all of them so grab what calls to you!

And if you're already a regular listener but you want to get new folks into it, this is an easy way to share what you love about the show with friends! 

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire! 
Hard Choices on Patreon
Instagram: hardchoicespod
TikTok: @hardchoicespod
Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social

If Shakespeare were alive today, he would have a podcast. What kind, you ask? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it would feature iambic pentameter, stirring monologues, wall-to-wall dirty jokes, and flexible attitudes towards sex and gender. Holy shit, is MeganBob Shakespeare?! Maybe so, because all of those things appear in this Hard Choices episode about the works of the Bard! Lend us your ears as Dan Mulkerin, Cate Osborn (aka Catieosaurus), and Stella Cheeks join Bob not to praise 21 of Shakespeare's most memorable characters, but to bone them. Which of Shakespeare's characters has the best drugs? Which one is, for better or worse, the crustiest? Which one do we want to lick our boots, and which one's boots do we want to lick? If you're looking for definitive answers... well, listen to these two hours of sound & fury and see how that works out for you.

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire, including updates about the upcoming LIVE Hard Choices recording at Rose City Comic Con on Sunday, September 24th at 4pm! 
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We have a date and time for our Rose City Comic Con live show: Sunday, September 24th from 4-5 PM in room D135-136! Come see the show, hear us rank 80s cartoon characters, get your free gift baggie, and hang out with us!

From a dank jail cell, where they are being interrogated by the Seekers of Truth (who may end up learning more truths than they bargained for), MeganBob hosts Hard Choices: Dragon Age Edition!

Hornier than a whole platoon of Qunari warriors, MeganBob is joined by Elven Ranger Annie Craton, mononymous Human Bard Maquenzie, and the very best nug in Thedas, Kit, as they plumb the depths of the Deep Roads, scale the peaks of the Frostback Mountains, and stroll across the Elvish Dales in search of the most fuckable denizens of the Dragon Age universe.

On the way, we discover:

• The pros and cons of Loghain’s ass
• Spoiler alert for an 8-year-old DLC
• How many movie references can Annie make?

Guest starring Neal Butler as The Seeker, who was cut from the list in order to be fair to the rest of the characters.

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire, including updates about the upcoming LIVE Hard Choices recording at Rose City Comic Con on Sunday, September 24th at 4pm! 

Hard Choices on Patreon
Instagram: hardchoicespod
TikTok: @hardchoicespod
Tumblr: hardchoicespod
Twitter: @hardchoicespod
Gmail: hardchoicespod@gmail.com

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https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
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https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
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https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
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https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
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https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
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https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
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https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed
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https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up
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https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz
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https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it
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We all know that with great power comes great responsibility. You know what else comes with great power? Us when we think about Spider-Man!

It's not just Peter Parker who makes our web-shooters go thwip, either; he's got a huge cast of friends, foes, and supporting characters to suit every taste, from monsterfucks like Venom, to adorable loser fucks like The Shocker, to the jackpot herself, Mary Jane. This episode, your friendly neighborhood MeganBob pushes DEEP into the Spiderverse to find the median, the zenith, and the nadir of its fuckability, all with the help of: The Amazing Annie Craton! The Spectacular James D'Amato! And Dan Mulkerin from an alternate reality where he never lost his Captain Universe powers!

IN THIS ISSUE:

Dan single-handedly promotes Tombstone from D-tier to Daddy-tier
MeganBob discovers the only bad way to listen to "The Cruel Angel's Thesis"
Annie lets Carnage's gooey appeal blind her to his, you know, everything else
And James finally takes a public stance on whether eating boys is wrong!

Hard Choices on Patreon
Instagram: hardchoicespod
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Twitter: @hardchoicespod


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https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
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https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
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https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
 License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
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https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
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https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
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https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed
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https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz
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https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it
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