How to Love a Non-Ally

This episode starts by examining honestly the main reasons why some believers feel they must reject gay relationships to follow the Bible. It's not a lack of sincerity. But interpretation is a value judgment. The surface reading of the text is not necessarily the best reading. The Bible is a collection of statements from many viewpoints. Each statement does not carry the same weight. Rya and Joe make the case that it is impossible to follow the text exactly without negotiating parts of it to make it relevant for today.

If you're in that place of searching right now, this episode will help you along your way. Rya shares her journey of how she continually weighed the positives and negatives and how agonizing the decision was for her. When enough of the answers converge, there comes a point when you can finally accept who you are inside. Everyone's story is different.

Are you using the wrong words without knowing it? Despite all the best intentions, if we use the wrong vocabulary in talking about LGBTQ issues, we can unintentionally alienate ourselves from the very people we were trying to support. Allies can become a closer part of the group simply by using the language of the community. Once you decide to become a real ally, you naturally start to talk like an ally talks.

Coming out of the closet brings a newfound freedom. But it can also be accompanied by great loss. Rya tells her story of coming out, and the loss she experienced. Together, she and her dad explore how the first few stages of grieving can affect a person who has decided to come out. They discuss ways to find hope in the midst of the pain of loss.

Joe tells his journey towards becoming totally accepting towards Rya after she transitioned. How did he feel after the son he thought he had now was presenting as his daughter? They tell the story of the difficulties the family had in coming to a place of acceptance. They look at ways their story can help others when a loved one comes out as gay or transgender.

What does it mean to "act gay?" We often find ourselves embodying stereotypes. But those stereotypes do not define us. They are often the byproduct of living authentically. It's easy for outsiders to focus only on the mannerisms and never see the real person. The truth about being LGBTQ is that we have the same hopes and dreams as anyone else. Matthew returns to discuss from the heart how he feels about being out as a gay man in a small community.

Joe's granddaughter Maya returns to discuss how younger generations are slowly beginning to view orientation and gender as a non-issue. Topics include changes to expectations and gender norms among teenagers and early twenty-somethings. Next, the conversation shifts to younger students, exploring the ways Junior High children are approaching LGBTQ+ issues differently now than even five years ago. The final topic includes suggestions for how students can promote positive interactions with unsupportive parents.

We like to believe that love and commitment are enough to make a marriage work. But what happens when one partner comes out as LGBTQ+? Is divorce ever the right option? Rya speaks from the heart about her difficult journey coming out to her wife as a transgender woman, and her wife's own struggle at suddenly facing a spouse who could no longer be the man she married. They began with open and honest talk about feelings, no more secrets. Though they both tried desperately to find a way to make it work, Rya shares why they concluded that divorce was the only viable alternative. The podcast ends with advice to both sides when you're going through a similar struggle in your marriage.

This episode is everything you've always wondered about "the surgery" but were afraid to ask. Or maybe you weren't afraid to ask, and some poor trans person had to remind you that we don't talk about those things in polite society. Either way, this episode has all your answers. We discuss the various types of surgeries on offer, the history of surgeries, and Rya's own personal history. Joe and Rya speak frankly about a sensitive subject while keeping it light-hearted with a few laughs.

Recent debacles involving the school board in Bucks county, Pennsylvania prompted Joe and Rya to have a discussion about how we should approach cultural conflict. When we make a negative display of ourselves, those on the other side can paint us as villains. We end up working against our own society. When others begin to see us as a threat, we lose our own voice and subvert the message we were hoping to promote. If we want to make positive change, we must start by finding common ground.