How to Navigate Societal Gaslighting and Stay Empowered

Creating healthy relationships in all areas of our life is the focus of this season of Unlimited. A relationship is how we relate to another person, place, thing, or even concept. How we relate to ourselves is at the core of how we relate to others. Yet, how we understand and relate to ourselves is also built from those external relationships. Unfortunately, most of us haven’t been taught how to cultivate healthy relationships let alone experienced examples of them. In many cases we need to first unlearn harmful ways of relating before we can learn healing ways of relating. First, we’ll lay a foundation of understanding healthy and unhealthy relating. Then, over the next several months, we’ll explore how it applies to all areas of our life.

In this episode of Unlimited, I’m kicking off the focus of season 4 by setting a foundation for creating healthy relationships.

Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:

• Understanding relationships beyond the interpersonal
• Qualities of healthy relationships like trust, honesty, communication, and self-awareness
• Relationship red flags like control, disrespect, imbalances, and hurtful language
• Building self-trust and growing through conflict
• What to expect in Season 4 of Unlimited

LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Signs of a Healthy Relationship
Tips for Building a Stronger Relationship
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Discover valuable New Year transition tips in this Season 3 wrap-up for the Unlimited Podcast. The period between one cycle and the next is a great time to reflect both on where you’ve been and where you’re going. It’s important to create supportive space to engage and focus that reflection. You can set that foundation through honoring your humanity and connecting to what’s really important to you. Celebrating helps you acknowledge yourself even in the small spaces we too often overlook. From there you can create the next phase of your life. 

In this episode of Unlimited, I’m diving into a season 3 wrap-up and new year transition tips to help you maximize the time between this cycle and the next.

Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:

• Review of Season Three
• What’s coming in Season Four
• Creating aligned focus in the new year (If you want to skip the recap, the tips start about 15 mins in)
• Supports for you in 2024

Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval

I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.
You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram

LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Setting Healthy Boundaries
How to Say No Without Guilt
What to Do When You’ve Fallen Behind
A Simple Way to End the Year Strong – Seeds For Growth Presentation
The Unlimited Podcast Mix
Rest is Resistance – A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey
You're More Than Your Personality Test
Energy Leadership Index Assessment
Valerie's Free Resources
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Apply to be coached on the podcast

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Aligning with your astrology is a way to explore what works for you. From new year plans to parenting, it’s one thing to recognize that there’s no one size fits all, but it can be hard to step outside the norms without some kind of framework to work from. Not to mention, it’s even harder to think outside the box when you’re already exhausted from trying to function within the normalized systems that aren’t working for you. Astrology is a tool that can help you explore other ways to look at challenges and maximize opportunities both in preparing for the year ahead as well as looking at dynamics in your relationships with kids and parents.

In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Babs Cheung to join me in a conversation about how to align with your astrology as you plan for a new year.

Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:

• Calendar year vs Fiscal year
• Understanding your cosmic flow
• Astrology as a parenting tool
• Cycles in your life and generational patterns

 
LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Astro.com
Café Astrology
Café Astrology 2024 Ephemeris
The Myth of Normal

CONNECT WITH BABS CHEUNG:
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LinkedIn
Discovery Quiz

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Accessing the true power of gratitude requires going beyond the individual mindset approach that is typically referenced. Expressions of gratitude have been observed among many communally based species. It supports group functioning. Thus, the true power of gratitude is in collective connection, not individual mindset. Studies show that there are a plethora of benefits to gratitude. The problems of toxic positivity and tolerating unacceptable behavior shows up when gratitude is used as a tool of individualism.

In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring accessing the true power of gratitude through shifting out of individualistic thinking and into collective consideration.

Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:

• The biological purpose of gratitude
• Guilt vs responsibility
• Individualism’s distortion of gratitude
• Developing a gratitude practice

Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval

I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.
You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram

LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
The Science of Gratitude white paper
Neuroscience Reveals Gratitude Literally Rewires Your Brain to be Happier
How to Make Stress Your Friend TedTalk
The Book of Joy
Understanding Your Stress Language episode
You’re More Than Your Personality Test episode
Toxic Positivity episode
Helpful vs Harmful Mindset Work episode
Making Holiday Magic Workshop
Private coaching session

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How to create belonging starts with understanding that most of us don’t know what belonging really is. It’s hard to create something that you haven’t first experienced and there is a difference between intellectually understanding vs experiencing something. What most of us do experience is strong conditioning from a young age around fitting in - to our families, in our school, and, ultimately, in society. This “fitting in” is part of how we are taught to uphold oppressive social systems because creates a faux belonging that activates our need for belonging but only fills it by exclusion. So, no wonder this is a struggle for many organizations and why we need help to understand and create it.

In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Amena Chaudhry to join me in a conversation about how to create belonging in a true way for all.

Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:

• What is belonging?
• Fitting in vs belonging
• Disrupting social norms
• Building emotional literacy
• Leadership skills for DEI & antiracism work

LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté
The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle
The Wake Up by Michelle Mijung Kim
The Roundtable Talk by Meena Malik

CONNECT WITH AMENA CHAUDHRY:
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LinkedIn
Art of Interrupting Racism workshop

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Reclaiming humanity through grief is necessary for our ability to intentionally create a world that honors each person's humanity. Understanding and having space to grieve and support each other through our grief helps us to connect to our shared humanity. In so many often unconscious ways, we are encouraged to dehumanize ourselves and others. One way this happens is a disconnect from our emotions and especially a lack of understanding and space to honor grief, not just our individual grief but also our communal grief. To rehumanize ourselves and overcome the pressures to dehumanize others, we must allow the space necessary for grief and healing. 

In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring understanding grief and how we can reclaim our humanity through grief.

Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:

• Types of grief: traumatic grief, communal grief and historical grief
• Understanding anger and processing grief
• Algorithms and community
• Discernment in media
• Reclaiming humanity

Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval

I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.
You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram
 
LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
The Lived Experience of Traumatic Grief
Why Historical Trauma Is Critical Understanding Black Mental Health
The Link Between Trauma and Anger
The Process of Grief
Why Clients Smile When Talking About Trauma
Social Media, The Matrix, and Digital Tribalism
Misinformation and Trauma: How to Watch a War Online
See No Stranger by Valarie Kaur
My Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa Menakem
The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

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Rethinking empowerment and releasing comparison go hand in hand in a society where empowerment is treated as a commodity and lifestyle is used as a sales tactic. Lifestyle as a sales tactic encourages us to compare how happy we are to how happy someone supposedly living a particular lifestyle appears to be. When empowerment is the commodity being sold, it becomes the way to achieve that lifestyle. These idealized lifestyles tend to uphold societal norms and often become internalized through frequent messaging. Comparison can be a helpful tool for noticing what you have internalized as preferable in life, which may also help you release the comparison. 

In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring rethinking empowerment and releasing comparison to create a more aligned and authentically joyful way of life.

Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:

• Re-thinking empowerment
• Walking through change
• The influence of norms
• Buying out of the fantasy
• Using comparisons for self-reflection

Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval

I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.
You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram

AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!

LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Amena Chaudhry LinkedIn
How to Manifest What You Want Podcast Episode
Implicit Bias Defined video by The Center for Social Justice
TEDx What Do We Do About Implicit Bias video by Dushaw Hockett
Thinking Under the Influence video by Brenda J. Allen
Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey

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How to cure comparisonitis starts by understanding the cause and that this isn’t just a “you” problem. It’s something that impacts you, your confidence, your sense of self, and your well-being, so it feels deeply personal. Since it’s internal, comparisonitis feels like a habit of comparing yourself to others in one or multiple areas. It’s usually triggered in an area that already feels endangered in some way – often things like financial success or belonging. It turns into a cycle of validation seeking where you feel inadequate or less than, doubt yourself and your abilities and seek validation from others which tends to further erode self-esteem. It’s also framed as an individual issue even when noted as being exacerbated by things like social media. But you can tell there’s more to it both in what feels threatened and how it’s exacerbated.

In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring the causes of and how to cure comparisonitis.

Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:

• Losing my self and self-trust
• Sacrificing authenticity for belonging
• Survival mode upholds societal norms
• Engaging individual and collective healing
• 4 steps to recalibrate your inner compass

Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval

I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.
You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram

AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
 
 LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Amena Chaudhry LinkedIn
The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate
#TradWife Life as Self-Annihilation by Anne Helen Peterson

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Insights from change making feminist founders are an important type of support for other feminist business owners and leaders. We are surrounded by stories of what success is and what you must do to achieve it that perpetuate exploitation of ourselves, of others, and of our planet. These stories are what is normalized but they aren’t the only way. Hearing other stories and ways of doing business helps us believe and trust in the possibility of change. It helps us tap into and generate ideas outside the normalized boxes. Additionally, and maybe most importantly, it helps us know that we are not alone.

In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Becky Mollenkamp to join me in a conversation about the insights she's gotten from interviewing change making feminist founders.

Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:

• Unlearning and the journey to find a new path
• Hierarchical vs egalitarian business structure
• Exploring the term Feminism
• Recognizing where you still need work and doing it
• Collective work and enoughness

LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Working it Out Podcast

CONNECT WITH BECKY MOLLENKAMP:
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Threads
Feminist Founders Podcast

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How to create a schedule that works for you cannot take a one size fits all approach. Most so called “successful people” strategies play on the false idea that we all have the same 24 hours and should, therefore, be able to get the same amount done. These strategies fail to factor in our humanity, discount our lived experiences, and fuel self-doubt. Instead of trying to fit someone else’s mold, you deserve routines that honor your humanity and support you where you are. Part of creating a schedule that works for you also means acknowledging that what works for you may look different at different times too. 

In this episode of Unlimited, I’m diving into the foundations that help you create a schedule that works for you with both structure and flexibility.

Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:

• How to bake flexibility into your plans
• Determining routines that support you
• Meeting yourself where you’re at in creating new habits
• Understanding the relationship between time and energy
• Exercises to assess where you’re spending your energy

Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval

I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.
You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram

AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!

LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Episode 7 – Can I Make Plans Yet
Reclaim Your Routine Workshop Series

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