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    How to Share Money with Friends

    enNovember 30, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Having open conversations about money with friendsDiscussing financial matters with friends can be awkward, but it's important for fostering healthy financial habits. Seek support and teach each other financial skills instead of relying on loans or enabling unhealthy habits.

      Having open and honest conversations about money with friends can be challenging, but it's important for fostering healthy financial habits. The discussion on The Dough highlighted the complexities of lending money to friends and the awkwardness that can come with discussing financial matters. Clairol's Textures and Tones was presented as a solution for feeling confident and nourished in one's own unique beauty, while the hosts encouraged listeners to reflect on their own financial situations and seek support when needed. The hosts also shared their personal experiences with money and friendship, emphasizing the need for open communication and the importance of teaching each other financial skills rather than relying on loans or enabling unhealthy financial habits. Overall, the episode underscored the importance of having open and honest conversations about money with those we care about, and offered resources and support for improving financial literacy and management.

    • Having open conversations about money with friends is important for building communityUnderstanding each other's financial situations and communicating openly about budgets can prevent misunderstandings and ensure everyone feels included in social outings

      Money conversations with friends can be awkward, but they are important for building and maintaining community. Understanding each other's financial situations and being open about budgets can help prevent misunderstandings and ensure everyone feels included. When planning social outings, it's important to consider everyone's financial situation and communicate openly about it. Asking about the planned location and suggesting alternatives if necessary can help ensure that everyone can participate without feeling left out. Remember, not everyone has the same financial support at home, and having open conversations about money can help break down any potential embarrassment or silence around the topic. By being open and communicative, we can practice mutual aid with our friends and create a more inclusive and supportive community.

    • Navigating Money Conversations with FriendsPrioritize self-worth and financial wellness. Approach spending decisions with friends thoughtfully, communicate openly, and find affordable alternatives.

      It's important to prioritize self-worth and financial wellness in friendships and social situations. The speaker shares her personal experiences of making financial mistakes due to people-pleasing and the importance of knowing one's own values. She advises approaching decisions about spending money with friends in a way that doesn't isolate or burden others, such as letting them propose a price first. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of communication and finding alternative, more affordable ways to socialize. Overall, the conversation highlights the need to navigate money conversations with friends with care and consideration for everyone's financial situations.

    • Lesson from a generous donationGenerous decisions with money can have unintended consequences. Ask the right questions and find effective solutions to enhance your life.

      Sometimes, making generous decisions with money can lead to unexpected and frustrating consequences. This was the lesson learned by a podcast host and author, who grew up with a strong savings mindset from her Depression era grandmother. Despite her thrifty background, she once made a generous donation that left her in a difficult financial situation. On a different note, another takeaway is the importance of asking the right questions and finding the right solutions, as demonstrated by the success of Clairol's textures and tones hair color line. This innovative product not only delivers vibrant color but also maintains curl definition, shine, and saves time and money. Overall, these stories remind us of the value of being mindful with our resources and seeking out solutions that truly enhance our lives.

    • Struggling Financially in College: Taking on Multiple Jobs and Supporting FriendsCollege students may feel pressured to support friends financially, but it's crucial to prioritize personal financial stability and set boundaries.

      Financial struggles in college can lead individuals to take on multiple jobs and assume the role of a financial resource for their friends, even if they are not financially well-off themselves. Pride, people-pleasing tendencies, and the desire to help and be liked can contribute to this dynamic. It's essential to recognize the importance of setting boundaries and acknowledging that everyone, including friends, should be responsible for their financial needs. This experience underscores the importance of understanding the unique resources and financial education each person receives and the impact it can have on their financial situation.

    • People-pleasing can lead to financial burdenPrioritize own well-being and financial stability, be aware of societal pressures and seek support when needed.

      People-pleasing behaviors, even with good intentions, can lead to detrimental consequences, especially when it comes to financial decisions. In the story shared, Kristen's selfless acts, including donating plasma and working at the student store, led her to a point where she was depleted and vulnerable. When her friends in New York needed her help to stay in the country, she cosigned a student loan for them, believing she could be the hero. However, when they broke up and stopped paying back the loan, she was left with the financial burden. This experience serves as a reminder that it's essential to prioritize our own well-being and financial stability, especially when making decisions that involve significant risks. Additionally, societal pressures and discrimination, such as anti-LGBTQ+ sentiments, can make it even more challenging for individuals to navigate these situations. It's crucial to be aware of these external factors and seek support when needed.

    • Cosigning a loan: Risks and responsibilitiesCosigning a loan can negatively impact your financial health if the borrower fails to make payments. Prioritize open communication and your own financial well-being.

      Cosigning a loan comes with significant responsibilities and potential risks. Kristen's experience serves as a reminder that even if the loan isn't your money, your financial health can still be negatively impacted if the borrower fails to make payments. It's essential to understand the implications of cosigning and to communicate openly with the borrower about their financial obligations. Additionally, it's crucial to prioritize your own financial well-being and not feel obligated to sacrifice it for others. Ultimately, the story highlights the importance of being informed and proactive when it comes to managing your finances and protecting your credit score.

    • Managing Debt Responsibly: A Lesson in Financial Self-relianceBeing idealistic and taking on debt can lead to serious consequences. Trust is essential, consistent payments and discipline help improve credit, and paying off debts as soon as possible is crucial to avoid excessive interest.

      Taking on debt, even with good intentions, can have serious and long-lasting consequences. Kristen's story illustrates the importance of managing debt responsibly, whether it's with the help of a former partner or on one's own. She learned the hard way that trust is essential in any financial arrangement and that the power of consistent payments and discipline can help improve credit over time. Additionally, it's important to remember that interest can significantly increase the amount owed, making it crucial to pay off debts as soon as possible. Reflecting on her experience, Kristen acknowledged that she was young and idealistic when she took on the debt, but she ultimately learned valuable lessons about financial responsibility and self-reliance.

    • Lesson learned from cosigning a loanCosigning a loan can have serious financial consequences, consider borrower's financial habits and reliability before agreeing, prioritize own financial well-being.

      Cosigning a loan can have serious financial consequences, and it's essential to consider the financial habits and reliability of the borrower before agreeing. The speaker in this conversation learned this lesson the hard way when she cosigned a loan for friends who had different spending habits than she did. She also shared that she didn't fully understand the implications of cosigning and relied too heavily on the word of a trusted friend. The speaker now regrets this decision and has made a commitment not to cosign loans for anyone in the future. Additionally, she has come to prioritize her own financial well-being and no longer feels the need to make others happy at the expense of her own financial stability. The experience was a valuable lesson in learning the importance of taking care of oneself financially and understanding the long-term implications of financial decisions.

    • Balancing generosity and fiscal responsibilityFind a balance between supporting relationships and financial responsibility, consider alternative ways to show generosity, and remember the importance of community and charitable giving.

      Sharing money with friends can be a sensitive topic, but it's important to find a balance between generosity and fiscal responsibility. Some people may have had negative experiences that make them hesitant to lend money or feel uncomfortable with the idea. However, giving gifts or taking friends out for a drink are other ways to show support and generosity. It's essential to remember that quality relationships aren't transactional and that giving and growing are more important than giving and receiving. While it's crucial to be mindful of our financial situation, especially during economic downturns, we should also remember the importance of giving back to our communities and charities. Ultimately, it's about finding a balance between abundance and practicality, and recognizing that having meaningful relationships goes beyond just financial transactions.

    • The Joy of Giving Without ExpectationsGiving without expecting anything in return brings personal fulfillment and joy to the giver.

      Giving without expectations brings personal fulfillment for the giver. Maya, the host of The Dough, shared her experience of trying to buy a family house despite financial challenges, emphasizing the joy she found in giving rather than expecting anything in return. This concept will be further explored in an upcoming episode of The Dough. Additionally, Meghan Trainor and her family invite listeners into their lives through their podcast, Working on It, while Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, hosts Archetypes, where they challenge and redefine common labels for women. Subscribe to these podcasts for more inspiring and entertaining content.

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    Related Episodes

    Hector & Mike Gymsplain Debt & Credit Management

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    Podcast Notes

    • Prior to working with the Gym, Mike worked at a credit union for seven years. Part of this was in the ‘debt solutions’ department (basically in-house collections).
    • For so many, debt is a normal part of life but there are many mysteries around it.  
    • Collections in general seem to be the biggest mystery and monster when it comes to debt.
    • Hector uses the word ‘monster’ specifically because collections feel like a huge, daunting process.
    • Knowledge is power when it comes to debt collectors. Knowing the logistics on the other side will help you be prepared when in this situation. 

    Practical tips for handling collections:

    • Some institutions handle collections in-house while others sell the debt to a third party. 
    • Each state has its own laws regarding consumer protection, which means the number of calls you receive can vary.
    • It can be tempting to ignore calls, but it is better to have a conversation with someone on the other end.
    • An unanswered call means they’re more likely to keep calling as the laws allow this kind of activity. 
    • Try to work out an arrangement with the creditor. They’re usually happy to get any sort of payment over nothing at all. 
    • If you have debt, before it goes to collections, paying even $1 keeps the account from going inactive and can help buy a little bit of time. 

    CREDIT SCORES 

    • The credit score system in America is relatively new and has many flaws.
    • There are three credit bureaus in the United States: Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion.
    • While credit score is one aspect of financial health, it is not the most important. 
    • 35% of credit score is utilization - how much you use on a month to month basis
      35% of credit score is payment history. The rest encompasses types of accounts, lengths of accounts, and the number of inquiries. 
    • Obsessing about your credit score isn’t great for either your financial or mental health.
    • Once you start focusing on other aspects of financial health, the credit score usually improves over time. 
    • There are times when credit score is incredibly important, like when you are looking for more credit to buy a home, car,  or even renting an apartment. It is a way for banks and lenders to determine whether they think you’re a good person to lend money to. 
    • Even as someone who has worked in the business, Mike feels like there is still some mystery. 
    • Scores  750+ earn you bragging rights. Anything over that is extra credit. Those 800+ scores come down to time and credit length.

    DEBT vs. SAVING

    • It is important to build your savings while paying down debt. 
    • While it can be tempting to throw all of your money at debt for a number of reasons, building an emergency fund will help you truly break the debt cycle.
    • You will no longer need to go deeper into debt when something pops up. Your debt payoff journey will not happen in a vacuum, there will be surprise expenses along the way.  Having cash saved means you’ll be prepared.

    BUDGETING 

    • One way we focus on saving and paying down debt is by looking at spending. 
    • The traditional idea of budgeting can feel restrictive or limiting, but that’s not what we do at the gym. 
    • We focus on empathy, sustainability, and the WHY. Does the spending reflect your current goals? 
    • Most debt does not happen overnight, rather over purchases or other expenses over time. 
    •  Our focus is to help clients spend intentionally on their goals and joys and cut in the areas that do not. 
    • The reason trainers ask about your goals is because that is what they want to focus and plan for. If owning a house isn’t your goal, it won’t be in the plan. If your morning coffee is important, let’s put it in the budget! 

     

    RESOURCES MENTIONED: 

    The only place you should check your credit report is annualcreditreport.com. It is backed by the federal government and you can request one free report each year  

     

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    Meet The Trainers  

    Meet Hector Lopez

    Meet Mike Poulin

    Your Money Questions Answered: Student Loans, IPOs, Credit Cards, and More

    Your Money Questions Answered: Student Loans, IPOs, Credit Cards, and More

    14: You asked us about student loans, credit cards, IPOs, retirement savings, and budgeting. Here are our answers.

    A few podcast episodes ago, we asked for you to send us some of your money questions that you wanted our perspective on -- now we're answering!

    We cover the following questions in this first "ask me anything" styled show:

    • How much do I need to save for retirement?
    • What's the best credit card to use?
    • How do you budget?
    • What should I do if my company is about to go through an IPO?
    • Is student loan forgiveness going to last?

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    Student Loan Repayment with Danielle and Lindsay Clark from Savi

    Student Loan Repayment with Danielle and Lindsay Clark from Savi

    On this episode of Financially Naked: Stories from The Financial Gym, our host is Danielle Thomas, Level 2 Certified Financial Trainer at The Financial Gym. She is joined by Lindsay Clark from Savi. Lindsay is a fierce champion for the student loan borrower - having accumulated enormous student debt over the course of her undergraduate and graduate studies at Yale and Columbia, respectively. Having worked in advocacy and financial technology for nearly a decade, Lindsay brings a deep understanding of the urgency behind providing solutions for student loan borrowers. As Director of External Affairs, Lindsay built and continues to lead our front-line efforts to assist America’s 46 million borrowers.

    It’s been over two years since the government first paused federal student loan payments and interest, and for so many borrowers it’s been out of sight and out of mind. With the possibility of cancellation and updates to policies passed with Covid relief, there’s a lot of news and support for borrowers out there. Savi helps America's 46 million student loan borrowers easily lower their payments and find forgiveness. Lindsay is here to share some of the highlights and things to watch out for if you’re a borrower. 

    Podcast Notes

    • Savi was founded in 2017 by student loan policy experts and advocates. Since repayment options and forgiveness programs are new, clunky, and can be challenging to comprehend, Savi is designed to help! 
    • They work with borrowers across the country to help them be more informed and empowered as borrowers and consumers. From understanding repayment options to navigating the application process, all the way to crossing the finish line. 
    • Where to get started if you have student loans: 
      • Understand the different repayment options. For federal student loan debt, there are programs and various payment plans (some income based) available.
        When considering which is the best fit for you, think about where you will be five and ten years in the future. 

    Income Based Repayment: 

    • Excellent for people who may be struggling to make the monthly payment for folks newly out of school, looking for their first job. 
    • The required payment is based on your income and considers tax filing, rather than basing it on the amount of debt. 
    • Some borrowers do not take advantage of these plans, including Lindsay when she was first paying back her loans.  
    • These income-based plans are a much better option than forbearance. At the end of these plans, loan forgiveness is an option if you’re eligible. While the programs aren’t perfect, there are planned improvements in the coming years. 
    • In general, any debt forgiven under an income-based repayment plan is considered taxable income on your taxes that year. 
    • There was recently a law passed that grants tax-free forgiveness for these repayment plans through 2025. It may be extended past that, but we don’t know yet. 

    Public Student Loan Forgiveness Program (PSLF):

    • This program started in October of 2007. Unfortunately, there are a bunch of technicalities required for forgiveness to be granted that a lot of borrowers were not aware of. Out of the 100,000 applications, less than 1% were accepted. 
    • Requirements: 
      • Be employed by an eligible institution
      • 120 qualifying payments
      • Be on an income-based repayment plan and have a qualifying loan type
    • In general, people met the employer requirement, but did not have the correct type of loans and weren’t on the right type of payment plan. 
    • Right now, there is a limited waiver for the PSLF program where they’ve expanded the requirements around loan type and payment plan. This will only be available until October 31, 2022, but expands the number of eligible borrowers. 
    • If you applied and were rejected in the past, you may now be eligible and should take action before October. Since the expansion, over 100,000 borrowers have been granted forgiveness. 
    • If your loans are forgiven through the PSLF program, the forgiveness is tax-free. 
    • One of the biggest issues surrounding the student loan crisis is that there is hardly any communication from the institutions supporting borrowers and there is a barrier to entry. You can read studentaid.gov all day long, and still not be clear on all of the information. 
    • This waiver did not get a lot of attention, and a majority of people don’t know they might qualify for forgiveness. 
    • Any news on another extension on payment pauses or possible cancellation? 
    • As of now, payments are set to resume on September 1, 2022.  
    • This has become such a political issue, Lindsay predicts it is unlikely they’ll turn payments back on right before the midterm election, and she would not be surprised if it was extended further. As of now, payments will resume. 
    • To prepare, be aware of your federal provider and the current payment due. Three of the largest loan servicers announced they are ending their contracts, so many people will be transitioned to other servicers. If you’re not sure where your loans are currently, make sure to find out that info. 
    • If you’re unsure where your loans are held, you can check studentaid.gov. The username and password will be from when you took out the debt but can be easily reset if you don’t remember. All of the loan and grant information should be available there, along with who is holding the loans now.
    • Loan cancellation was a huge campaign promise and there is pressure on lawmakers to make it happen. It might look like $10,000 may be forgiven and have income limits. 
    • The rising cost of higher education is what is fueling the debt crisis and while forgiveness will provide relief to some borrowers, it does not fix the problem. This is not a matter of either or, it’s a matter of addressing both sides of the crisis. 
    • If someone has debt out there and has never logged in or made a payment, what should they do? 
      • The government recently announced Fresh Start, which will bring any borrowers out of default once payments resume. It would be a mass reset for roughly 8 million borrowers who are in default, many of whom have balances less than $10,000. 
      • This is separate from loan rehabilitation, which is a process that can take up to nine months. 
    • Lindsay assures us the momentum and direction of the policy are positive and we’re going to see good changes come through. She’s more optimistic than she’s ever been and hopes these will help improve the system. 

     

    Read more about student loans:
    FAQs About Student Loans
    6 Questions to Ask Before Refinancing Student Loans
    5 Things to do Before the Student Loan Pause is Over
    Mythbusting Student Loans

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    Meet Danielle Thomas, Level 2 Certified Financial Trainer