I Could Be a Bro

In our last week of profiling position players, or “Adley Day” in Patti’s world, we pick our guys from the Os and ATL. For BAL, Ryan O’Hearn gets the Pottymouth nod with an extra point for Bull Durham, while Patti sticks with her once and forever catcher. For The Hammers, Patti picks spring training standout Eli White and Pottymouth corrects a wrong while selecting Orlando Arcia. Joey finds a home at home, bad boy Josh retires, Mookie heads to short, and Lance gets tossed from the dang bullpen. Punishments come down for the LVBP brawl, women “pave the way” in Road to the Show, and the proposed Vegas ballpark distracts everyone from complaining about pants. Watch the kids play in Spring Breakout!

We say, “Distracted from pants by armadillos,” I hate it when things f*&k up my pickle,” and discuss condiments a surprising amount. Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Kiké and Tony Clark dance around the idea of collusion, and let Fanatics take the lead on talking about pants. Robinson Canó heads to Mexico, Matt heads back to the Bay, and Brandon does what needs to be done. For Tampa Bay, Pottymouth completes her Lowe brothers set and Patti remembers the fun of the WBC and picks Paredes. Over at the Dodgers, Pottymouth goes with the flow and selects James Outman, while Patti chooses Diego Cartaya and his bodybuilder mom. Crosstraining Congratulations to Caitlin Clark for setting an NCAA scoring record, and cheers to Shohei for that whole getting married thing.

We name check the Brady Bunch and the Simpsons, and say “stare at some butts to see if they are transparent,” “I needed to fall off that pedestal,” and “I like how you made numerology recreational-drug related.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Nothing like an Adley HR against BOS the first day of spring training to spike co-host conflict, er, cause  us to demonstrate how one should behave in civil society. Patti’s vocabulary lesson is “pillow contract” in the context of Belli and Tim. Hosmer retires leaving behind a range of feels. Tim Mayza’s fantasy league punishment may send our FBBL all sorts of questionable ways. It’s always a challenge to pick HOU bfs, but Pottymouth finds much to praise about Jake Meyer’s off-season mental focus and Patti wants to have a beer with Grae Kessinger’s grandfather. For the Brewers, Pottymouth selects Jackson Chourio, who finds a way to set an example even at his young age. Patti picks recent O, now Brewer, Joey Ortiz, and lies with exact figures about following his minor league career. There is so much to say about pants, from fashion to labor, to modesty concerns. Patti gets to hold Marty Barrett’s bat, and Pottymouth gets to keep it. We end with an excerpt from John Updike's essay about Ted Williams’ last game. Join us over at Patreon for a tag-team reading of the whole, beautiful tribute.

We say “We are a coup-free fantasy league,” “pants is a labor issue,” and “So many letters at this time of beer.”

Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Spring training has begun, there are still key free agents out there, there’s some arbitration scorekeeping to do, and will it take all five years to get some women on the short list for the next commissioner of baseball? This week we talk boyfriends on the World Series champion Rangers – Jonah Heim for Pottymouth and Patti’s early claim on Evan Carter is confirmed. Over at the Phils, Pottymouth visits the Nick Castellanos school of buttons for her Johan Rojas selection, and Patti picks Bryson Stott and his mom. Huge news for women on and off the field as Jen Pawol umps in the Grapefruit League and Jenny Cavnar takes the primary play by play seat for the As. The mayor of Oakland plays hardball, and it turns out that record setting numbers of people will in fact pay to see talented women play hockey.

We say, “That sounds a little bit stalkerish,” “Whenever you get to play pinball and drink a local beer, it’s a good night,” and, “He unbuttoned his button and it never again rebuttoned.”  Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

The Royals lock down Bobby Witt, Jr. for 11 years, and HOU says yes to Jose Altuve for another five. The arbitration scoreboard is currently tipped in the players’ direction at the halfway point, including a record-setting win for Vladdy. We wish Corey Kluber all the best in his retirement, Patti with much happier memories than those of Pottymouth. This week we look at Toronto, where Pottymouth selects Kevin Kiermaier with a really we haven’t picked him yet, and Patti highlights Davis Schnieder partly for getting to say “dirtbags” but mostly for the glove story. Happy birthday to ARI catcher and new Pottymouth pick Gabriel Moreno, and Patti’s aiming for the clouds outfielder, Alek Thomas. We discuss the comedy/tragedy possibilities with the new Netflix series following the Red Sox. Our police blotter features no work for Billy Eppler this  year for playing fast and loose  with  the IL, and teachers keep on poking at the public funding for the A’s Vegas ballpark. Mayors of both Oakland and Las Vegas gang up on A’s ownership. The Serie de Caribe set more attendance records, featured a no-hitter, lots of pod favorites on the field and in the stands, and a championship to Venezuela.

We say “my flame has been extinguished,” my polar bear no longer has bloat,” and “taking lemons and making limoncello.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Patti is practically giddy with new ownership and a new Ace for the Os. Our new guys for Seattle are actually the newest guys for Seattle, Jorge Polanco and Samad Taylor. For Miami, Pottymouth selects Vidal Bruján and Patti makes it two consecutive De La Cruz weeks with her pick of Bryan. We cross train hard with hockey, from our cask-beer fueled hockey shoot out, to Joey Votto menacing mascots, to hug cellies gone bad. Lots of our favorites are playing in the Serie del Caribe, hosted in Miami. You should watch!

We say “Worried about the hug fallout,”  “Bus-lagged,”  and “You are so good at talking the world into believing a cocktail is health food.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Not sure if it is our pride or our ages talking but we’ve reached the point where active players we’ve profiled on the show are now Hall of Famers. Congrats to Joe Mauer and Adrian Beltre, and also to Todd Helton even if he was before our (NCiB) time. The hot stove takes Philly favorite Rhys Hoskins to MIL, and brings Cookie Carrasco home to CLE. Joc Pederson tries out yet another NL West team, and the Nats bring Joey Gallo to a ballpark near us. Congrats on the retirement, Collin McHugh, and please spend some of it reactivating your podcast. We profile a couple of 2023 rookie sensations for the Twins, Royce Lewis and Edouard Julien. Over in Wrigley, Pottymouth selects Mike Tauchman and Patti picks Patrick Wisdom. Congrats to the LIDOM champion Tigres de Licey, and to the Ozzie Guillen-managed Tiburones for bringing both a brawl and a drought-breaking championship to the LVBP. We are angry and mournful at the theft of the Jackie Robinson statue from a Wichita park. We are ticked we were beaten to all the good “total eclipse” jokes as the Guardians ponder opening day in totality. Hey check out this super-fun Galentine’s event hosted by Babe’s Babes that we joined last week!

We say “My drum kit was a big squirrel,” “We picked licking his bat as a battle and that was so wrong,” and “There should be a Gallo blossom out there somewhere.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Snow days are fun but they do not keep us from thinking about the boys of summer. It’s always tricky for us to pick our NYY bfs because of, well, general vitriol. But we persevere and end up disliking the team a little less. Pottymouth wants the team to give Oswaldo Cabrera a real shot, and Patti can’t help appreciating the deep fandom in Anthony Volpe’s family. For the Reds, Pottymouth goes for taller twin Elly de la Cruz, and Patti reads “DFA” and instead sees “Immaculate Grid” in Stuart Fairchild. Patron saint of the pod, Sean Doolittle, puts his big brain to work for the Nationals, and Dusty just can’t make retirement stick. The looking for a home As lead the Police Blotter with yet another complete dismissal of their fan base and find another team called the Bees to push around. The Cuban Professional Baseball Federation finds some exhibition games to play as politics bring an international tournament in Colombia to a stop, and winter ball heads to the finals. The Os open a state of the art academy in the Dominican Republic, calling it the most important accomplishment of the last several years. Hang on for the Hall of Fame reveal, and go, Ravens!

We say, “Pulaski cow,” “good news on the AC/DC front,” and, “Anybody who’s read Winne the Pooh knows you don’t f*&^ with the Bees.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Supersized weekend, supersized episode! Who do we want to have a beer with this week? Pottymouth plays her once and forever card and hangs on to Vaughn Grissom, now that he’s with the Red Sox.  Patti selects Harper superfan Masataka Yoshida and his little dog too. For the Padres, Pottymouth gets to say Anzoátegui in reference to José Azócar and Patti picks home run trick shot hitter Matthew Batten. It’s arbitration time so we talk deals and holdouts.  How can Stroman be a Yankee? Teoscar’s LAD deal leads to a reuse, recycle, repurpose jersey discussion as well as pondering of Dodger money management. Again with the Wander and Julio mentions in the Police Blotter! Congrats to Luisa Gauci, new MIL hitting coach, and Rachel Balkovec, new farm director for MIA.

We say, “Blind faith is our friend,” “always hold on to a Diaz,” and, “I like that on the eve of the Iowa Caucus you’re worried about a weird President.  Oh. PREC-I-DENT.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Character counts, making Bs more valued than As in Oakland. Elsewhere in the Police Blotter the Wander Franco story is growing into a flat out horror show.  In a much happier place, we profile guys from the Tigers and Giants.  For DET, Pottymouth selects Heart and Hustle nominee Matt Vielring and Patti goes for his almost twin Gold Glove finalist Zach McKinstry. For San Francisco, it’s the Grandson of the Wind Jung Hoo Lee for Pottymouth, and West Coast Correspondent favorite Late Night Lamonte Wade, Jr. for Patti. We wish Uncle Mike Brantley well on his future career as a little league coach, and ponder the next breaking starting pitcher story.

We say, “It’s a variable groove. I need a consistent groove, “I think God intended it was Haaahwich,” and “You bartended the heck out of that.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.