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    I’m an Exhausted Police Officer Ready To Quit

    enJune 03, 2022

    Podcast Summary

    • Navigating Trauma in Literature and LifeUnderstanding context and an artist's body of work is crucial when dealing with traumatic content in literature. Self-care and support systems are essential for those investigating Internet crimes against children.

      Dealing with traumatic experiences, whether personal or in literature, can evoke strong reactions. John DeLoney discussed his experience with criticism regarding a book that dealt with generational trauma, and how some people took offense to it. He emphasized the importance of understanding the context and the artist's body of work. DeLoney also shared his personal rule of thumb when it comes to including traumatic content in his own books. Furthermore, a caller asked for advice on preparing mentally for a career in investigating Internet crimes against children. DeLoney acknowledged the importance of the work but also emphasized the need for self-care and support systems. Overall, the conversation highlighted the complexities of dealing with trauma and the importance of empathy and understanding.

    • Respecting the Unique Impact of ExperiencesEmpathize with others, understand their stories, and prioritize self-care to cope with the emotional toll of challenging work.

      Everyone, including first responders, carries the weight of their experiences, and it's essential to respect the uniqueness of each person's story. Comparing stories or minimizing the impact of someone else's experiences doesn't make your own any easier. The speaker shared his personal struggles with handling certain cases and recommended reaching out to those who have worked in similar roles for guidance. While acknowledging that someone must tackle the challenging tasks, he emphasized the importance of having a solid plan in place to process and cope with the potential emotional toll. Ultimately, the conversation underscored the importance of empathy, understanding, and self-care in the face of difficult work.

    • Impact of high-stress jobs on mental and emotional wellbeingRecognize the importance of a support system and prioritizing personal wellbeing, even in high-stress professions.

      Working in law enforcement or any high-stress profession can take a toll on one's mental and emotional wellbeing. The speaker shares his experience of investigating heinous crimes and the impact it had on his perspective of the world. He also talks about the exhaustion from balancing work and family life, especially after his son's heart surgery. It's important to have a support system and acknowledge when it's time to prioritize personal wellbeing and make a change. The speaker expresses his desire to move on from his current career and start a new business, but feels conflicted about leaving the job behind. It's crucial to find a balance and not box oneself into an "either or" corner. Instead, consider all options and make a decision that prioritizes overall wellbeing.

    • Recognizing and addressing personal burnoutAcknowledge past traumas, prioritize self-care, and reflect on personal needs for a fulfilling life, despite societal pressures.

      It's crucial for individuals, especially those in high-stress jobs, to prioritize their own needs and well-being despite the demands of their profession and personal life. The speaker, a juvenile detective, shared his own experiences of burnout and how society often blames external factors like a spouse or job for exhaustion, when in reality, it's often the body's way of signaling that it can't go on anymore. He emphasized the importance of acknowledging past traumas, processing them, and making meaning of them to move forward. The speaker also highlighted the importance of self-reflection and asking oneself what one truly needs to live a fulfilling life, rather than just following the path laid out for success by others. This not only benefits the individual but also their community, unit, and family.

    • Taking a step back for self-careRecognize signs of burnout, prioritize self-care, and make drastic changes if necessary for personal growth and healing. Seek support from loved ones.

      Sometimes, it's necessary to take a step back and prioritize self-care, even if it means making significant changes. This could mean moving to a new city, changing jobs, or seeking professional help. The speaker shared his personal experience of reaching a breaking point and making drastic changes, which led to personal growth and healing. He emphasized the importance of recognizing the signs of burnout and addressing them before they become unmanageable. He also encouraged listeners to prioritize their needs and make self-care a priority, even if it means making sacrifices in other areas. The speaker's wife played a crucial role in encouraging him to seek help, and he emphasized the importance of having a supportive partner. Overall, the message was one of self-care, resilience, and prioritizing mental and emotional well-being.

    • Self-care for Police Officers: Prioritize Your Well-BeingPolice officers need to prioritize self-care for personal growth and better performance. Seek help when needed, reflect, and make time for recharging, even professionally.

      Taking care of yourself and addressing your needs is crucial for not only your personal growth but also for becoming a better police officer or person in general. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and seeking help when needed, whether it's from a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist. The discussion also touches upon the idea that even when surrounded by happiness and success, one might still feel drained and in need of recharging. It's essential to prioritize self-care and make time for it, even if it means seeking professional help. Overall, the conversation encourages listeners to prioritize their well-being and recognize their worth.

    • Approaching a loved one's disordered eating with empathyFocus on expressing love and concern for their health and well-being, avoid criticism and blame, and offer support and healing in a non-judgmental conversation.

      When dealing with a loved one's disordered eating habits, it's essential to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding rather than criticism. James' wife discovered her husband had been purging to lose weight for several months, and she was struggling to communicate her concerns without shaming him. The conversation should focus on expressing love and concern for their partner's health and well-being rather than demanding them to stop their destructive behaviors. The wife in this situation recognized that her husband was likely using disordered eating as a coping mechanism for their marital issues and was feeling scared and disappointed. The way forward is to have an open and non-judgmental conversation, focusing on the need for support and healing rather than blame. It's crucial to remember that individuals engaging in disordered eating are often in a state of survival and may not be able to process criticism effectively. Instead, offer love, understanding, and a commitment to help them on their journey towards recovery.

    • Supporting a loved one's weight loss journeyAcknowledge powerlessness, offer love, support, and professional help. Avoid enabling destructive behaviors by aligning food choices with their goals.

      When dealing with a loved one's struggle with weight loss, it's crucial to acknowledge the powerlessness and avoid the urge to react with anger or avoidance. Instead, own the powerlessness and offer love, support, and professional help. It's essential to recognize that bringing food home that doesn't align with their goals can perpetuate a cycle of shame and destructive behaviors. Encourage each other, make amends, and commit to a healthy eating plan together. Change is challenging, and seeking the guidance of a professional can make all the difference. Remember, the ultimate goal is to show love and support, not to enable or add to their struggle.

    • The power of connection and love in overcoming challengesBuilding a strong support system can help alleviate stress and anxiety during the home buying process or dealing with mental health issues. Seeking help and leaning on others is essential for overcoming challenges.

      Connection and love are essential for overcoming challenges, whether it's dealing with mental health issues or navigating the stressful process of buying a home. Kaye's story highlights the impact of negative experiences and the importance of recognizing that feelings matter. For new homebuyers, focusing on building a strong support system can help alleviate some of the stress and anxiety that comes with the home buying process. Similarly, for those dealing with mental health issues, seeking help and building a network of supportive individuals can make a significant difference. Remember, it's okay to ask for help and lean on others during difficult times.

    • Understanding Depression: A Complex ConditionDepression is a complex condition caused by genetics and personal choices. Remember, you're strong, brave, and worthy of help. It takes time, effort, and consistency to heal, but you're not alone.

      Depression is a complex condition that stems from a combination of genetics and personal choices. It's like being in a deep ocean where you can't touch the bottom no matter how hard you try. While you can't change your genetics or past experiences, you can reach out for help and practice self-care. Guilt and shame are different; guilt is an emotion related to specific actions, while shame is a feeling of being defined by your mistakes. Depression can make you feel disconnected from yourself and the world, but it's essential to remember that you are strong, brave, and worthy of help. The feeling of relief and inner peace that comes from overcoming depression doesn't come from external sources; it comes from within. It takes time, effort, and consistency to heal, but it's possible. Remember, you're not alone, and you're worth the work.

    • The importance of proper mental health care and adjusting medicationsSeeking effective mental health care involves finding a trusted counselor, acknowledging past struggles, and exploring therapeutic techniques like REBT and CEBT. Proper medication management by a doctor is also crucial for optimal mental health.

      Seeking proper mental health care is crucial. The speaker shares their past experience with an unhelpful counselor and the importance of having medications adjusted by a doctor. They also discuss their experience with serotonin syndrome and the impact it had on their mental health treatment. It's essential to find a trusted counselor and approach therapy with a willingness to learn and adapt. The speaker emphasizes the importance of acknowledging past struggles and not carrying shame or self-stigma. Additionally, they suggest exploring therapeutic techniques like REBT and CEBT for managing intense emotions. Overall, prioritizing mental health care and seeking out effective treatment methods can lead to significant improvements in mental wellbeing.

    • Embrace the power to live a fulfilling lifeDespite past traumas and present struggles, remember your life is valuable and essential to others, seek help when needed, and keep going.

      No matter how dark the past or how overwhelming the present may seem, it's important to remember that each person holds the power to live a fulfilling life. This means acknowledging and addressing past traumas and seeking help when needed. Many people who have considered suicide have gone on to live their lives, not because they wanted to die, but because they wanted the pain to stop. It's crucial to understand that the voice in your head urging you to keep going matters, and you are not a burden to those around you. In fact, your life is valuable and essential to the lives of those around you. If you're struggling, don't hesitate to reach out to a counselor or trusted individual to help you navigate through difficult times. Remember, you are strong, brave, and beautiful, and your life is worth living.

    • Navigating life's challenges and finding growthFocus on the present, let go of the past, and lean on support systems for resilience during difficult times.

      Overcoming challenges and making positive changes in life is a difficult but rewarding process. Elizabeth's email about her progress in getting sober serves as a reminder of the potential for growth and improvement, even after hitting rock bottom. Meanwhile, the hosts' discussion about the difficulty of letting go of the past highlights the importance of focusing on the present and looking forward to the future. Additionally, the unexpected situations that arose, such as the psychiatrist's confession and the daughter's issues, illustrate the unpredictability of life and the need to be prepared for the unexpected. Overall, the episode emphasizes the importance of resilience, self-advocacy, and the power of support systems in navigating life's ups and downs.

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