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    Keeping intimacy alive after having a baby

    en-usJune 27, 2024

    Podcast Summary

    • Postpartum intimacyMaintaining intimacy beyond sex is crucial for the health of a romantic relationship after having a baby, despite common challenges like exhaustion and lack of time.

      Becoming a parent can be a significant stressor on a romantic relationship, but it's essential to prioritize intimacy beyond sex for the health of the partnership. According to the Gottman Institute, many couples report a decline in relationship satisfaction after having a baby. Exhaustion, new responsibilities, and lack of time are common reasons for neglecting intimacy. However, maintaining that connection is worth the effort as it creates opportunities for deeper bonding and a more expansive experience. In this episode of LifeKit from NPR, listeners will learn how to navigate postpartum love, sex, and intimacy, including redefining their understanding of intimacy and desire, and receiving practical tools to make the most of date night. The NPR app offers accessible news coverage with no paywalls, profits, or nonsense, allowing listeners to stay informed and engaged with the world around them.

    • Sex after birthThere's no definitive timeline for resuming sex after birth. Couples should discuss birth control options, health concerns, and respect each other's boundaries. Physical and mental barriers can impact both partners, and open communication is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship.

      The six-week mark after giving birth is not a definitive time for resuming sex and intimacy. While it's essential to discuss birth control options and potential health concerns with your doctor, there's no set timeline. Each couple's readiness varies, and it's crucial to respect each other's boundaries. The person who wants sex the least should determine the frequency. Pressure and guilt around sex should be avoided, and setting a designated time to discuss it can help. Physical and mental barriers, including discomfort, vaginal dryness, and hormonal changes, can impact both partners. Recognizing and normalizing these challenges is essential for maintaining a healthy and open relationship.

    • Expanding definition of intimacyIntimacy isn't just about sex; it's also about expressing words of affirmation, holding hands, cuddling, and exploring other forms of physical touch like back rubs when sex isn't an option.

      Intimacy and parenthood can present challenges, but it's essential to expand our definition of intimacy and find new ways to connect with our partners. Intimacy isn't just about sex; it's also about holding hands, cuddling, and expressing words of affirmation. When sex isn't an option, explore other forms of physical touch, such as back rubs or cuddling. It's crucial to validate each other's needs and acknowledge the unique challenges of parenthood. By broadening our perspective on intimacy and finding creative ways to connect, we can maintain a strong bond with our partners despite the demands of parenthood.

    • Rediscovering turn-onsExplore personal triggers and understand desire stages to enhance postpartum intimacy, ensuring both partners' needs are met through communication and consent.

      Rediscovering your turn-ons and understanding your desire are crucial for postpartum intimacy. It can be challenging to identify and communicate what we want due to everyday barriers and lack of language. Education and self-reflection are essential to close this gap. Start by exploring your personal triggers through quizzes or other resources, as desires vary greatly from person to person. Understanding desire in its different stages - no desire zone, spontaneous desire, responsive desire, and companionate desire - can help navigate intimacy and ensure that both partners' needs are met. Remember, communication and consent are key, and it's essential to respect each other's boundaries.

    • Sexual BalanceCommunication, self-reflection, and making time for each other are essential for a healthy sexual relationship. Avoid pressuring your partner and understand their desires through open dialogue.

      A healthy sexual relationship involves a balance of initiation, communication, self-reflection, and making time for each other. Communication is key, especially when initiating sex, as it can help avoid making your partner feel pressured or forced into a binary decision. Self-reflection is important to understand your own desires and needs, and to address any underlying issues. Making time for each other is essential for maintaining intimacy and preventing the relationship from becoming solely focused on logistics or external priorities. While scheduling sex may seem unromantic, it can actually be a beautiful thing that gives both partners something to look forward to. However, it's important to remember that the first time having sex should not be planned or scheduled.

    • New Parent CommunicationPrioritize open conversations about desires and needs to maintain a healthy sex life during new parenthood. Essentiality trade-off and discussing difficult topics can lead to a stronger relationship.

      Communication is key in maintaining a healthy sex life during the new parent stage. Instead of focusing on specific dates or recipes for intimacy, prioritize open conversations between partners. Practice essentiality trade-off, setting aside structured time for open communication about desires and needs. Don't shy away from discussing difficult topics like mismatched libidos or body image. Remember, the more you talk about sex, the better your sex life can be. It's important to remove pressure, broaden your idea of intimacy, rediscover your turn-ons, and make time for conversations. Communication may be awkward at first, but it's essential for navigating the challenges of new parenthood and strengthening your relationship. Don't hesitate to reach out for resources and support when needed.

    • Trump's Trials podcastListen to NPR's 'Trump's Trials' podcast for a weekly 15-minute breakdown of complex legal cases involving former President Trump and their implications for democracy

      Staying informed about the complex legal cases involving former President Trump can be challenging. To help make sense of it all, listen to NPR's "Trump's Trials" podcast for a weekly breakdown of the biggest news and implications for democracy in just 15 minutes. News and information from NPR, including this podcast, are readily available on the NPR app whenever you're ready. NPR is a network of thousands of voices from over 200 local newsrooms across the country, dedicated to bringing Americans closer together through free and independent journalism on various topics like news, culture, and politics. By tuning into NPR, you're changing the way you engage with the world. Learn more at NPR.org/network.

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