Listening with Kellyn Legath

Often times when we are triggered and find ourselves emotionally reactive, it's because we are making it mean something about us. 

For example, maybe your friend didn't receive your experience or follow your advice, and you're making it mean your experience doesn't hold value. 

Or maybe your partner doesn't want to do the activity you want to do and you're making it mean that they don't care about you or you are no longer compatible. 

Or maybe someone makes an "ugly face" and you assume it was meant for you and the don't like you. 

But may it's not about you. 

Maybe your friend wants to figure things out on her own. 

Maybe your partner likes different things, and that's ok. 

Maybe they weren't making a face at you, but smelled something stinky. 

Maybe it has nothing to do with you. 

What helps you to feel heard?  What causes you to feel unheard?  And how can you deepen your level of listening to deepen your relationships? 

This is exactly what I'm talking about with my friend and fellow coach, Kelly Legath. Find her on instagram @daydreamercoaching or at www.daydreamercoaching.com

Want to connect with MaryAnn?  Click here to connect on social media: https://linktr.ee/maryannwalker.life

Click here to apply to work with her: https://maryannwalker.life/contact-me

What could you do in a minute?  And how could a minute change your life? 

Maybe you're taking one minute to make that phone call you've been putting off. 

Maybe you use your minute to do 100 jumping jacks. 

Maybe you use your minute to just... breathe... but find one minute today and see how impactful you can make that minute. 

Are you tired of constantly saying yes to others while neglecting your own needs? Do you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and burnt out from always putting others first?

In today's fast-paced world, learning to say no is a vital skill for maintaining your well-being and reclaiming your time. In this episode we explore the challenges of saying no and offer practical strategies for setting boundaries with compassion and confidence.

Discover how saying no can empower you to prioritize self-care, establish healthier relationships, and find greater peace and balance in your life. If you're ready to break free from the cycle of overcommitment and embrace the power of no, this episode is for you.

Listen now and unlock the transformative potential of saying no. And if you're interested in diving deeper into this topic, feel free to reach out—I'd be happy to send you more resources or discuss how my coaching services can support you on your journey.

Here's to honoring your authenticity and reclaiming your power!

https://linktr.ee/maryannwalker.life

It is easy to assume that because someones experience or proximity is similar, that it is the same. Assuming sameness negatively impacts empathy and connection. 

Work to be curiously compassionate towards others. Ask what their experience is... and the believe them!  You may just be surprised at the insights that can be gained when we allow ourselves to be curious about another's perspective or experience. 86

This week on the podcast, we're diving into the crucial topic of rest. Sometimes our need for rest goes beyond the physical. Identifying what our actual need is helps us to feel rested and rejuvenated.

Let me share with you the seven different types of rest, as described by Saundra Dalton-Smiths work:

Physical Rest:
Check if you're experiencing pain or having trouble sleeping.
Consider activities like yoga, stretching, or a massage to care for your physical needs.

Mental Rest:
Ideal for those struggling to turn off their brain.
Take short breaks throughout the day, and consider journaling to clear your mind.

Sensory Rest:
For those surrounded by constant stimuli.
Unplug from devices, turn off notifications, and create moments of stillness.

Creative Rest:
Awaken wonder and awe inside you.
Spend time in nature or engage in creative activities just for fun, without the intention to sell.

Emotional Rest:
Essential for helpers, healers, and people pleasers.
Set boundaries, take time for yourself, and be honest about your emotions.

Social Rest:
If you need me-time, you likely need social rest too.
Surround yourself with people who genuinely fill your cup.

Spiritual Rest:
Goes beyond the physical and mental.
Find pockets of peace, engage in spiritual practices, and connect with a sense of love and belonging.

As you go through this list, do a self-assessment. Notice what lights you up, brings you joy, and fulfills your heart's yearnings. Our needs may change over time, so revisit this list periodically. And remember, your people are out there – those who resonate with you and understand your wavelength.

Saundra's Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGNN4EPJzGk&t=330s
Online Quiz: https://www.restquiz.com/quiz/rest-quiz-test/
Apply to work with me: https://maryannwalker.life/contact-me
Connect with me on social media: https://linktr.ee/maryannwalker.life

Wishing you a restful and rejuvenating week ahead!

Introducing our new mini Monday episodes! Here, I'll be sharing some insightful mindfulness tips to help you enhance your self-awareness and receptivity.

This morning's musing revolves around the concept of creating more empty space in our lives to receive personal guidance and inspiration.

In today's fast-paced world, we often prioritize productivity and multitasking. While it might make us appear highly accomplished externally, it can leave us feeling disconnected internally, affecting our receptivity to new ideas and insights.

So, here's a challenge for you today: pick one activity and commit to being fully present with it. Whether it's meal prepping, making your bed, or driving to the store, immerse yourself in the moment. Take a break from podcasts, audiobooks, and your phone. Just be there, fully present, and observe what shifts occur within you.

For instance, I recently tried this while taking a walk in the park. Instead of listening to music or checking my phone, I focused solely on the sounds of nature and the sensation of each step. It was incredibly refreshing and helped me tune into my surroundings in a way I hadn't before.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes for you! Remember, creating space for stillness can lead to profound insights and moments of clarity. Stay tuned for more mindfulness tips in our upcoming episodes.

In today's episode, we're diving into a topic that hits close to home for many of us: the fear of being seen as selfish. It's a struggle we've all faced, especially those of us who genuinely enjoy lending a helping hand. Let's break it down together:

Understanding "Selfishness":   Being selfish means not considering others' needs. Interestingly,  it's those who are most considerate of others who often worry the most about being selfish.

Imagining Judgment: Saying "no" might lead to judgment. But here's the thing: how others perceive us isn't entirely in our control. Their thoughts and actions are about them, not us.

Self-Assessment Tips: Take a moment to reflect on a recent situation, think about the emotions driving your actions, and remember that other people's opinions aren't the whole story.

Spotting Unbalanced Relationships: Using Anna and Sarah's story, we talk about how accusations of selfishness often reveal more about the accuser than the accused. By journaling about our actions and theirs, we can uncover any imbalances in our relationships.

Empowerment Through Boundaries: Setting boundaries isn't selfish; it's essential for healthy relationships. Let's flip the script from feeling guilty to feeling empowered.

Just a reminder: we're only responsible for our own actions. If you found this episode helpful or if you want suppor around learning how to say no, click the link to message me. I'm happy to coach you through it.  

https://linktr.ee/maryannwalker.life

Are you someone who is highly sensitive to the emotions? Maybe you're highly sensitive when it comes to reading others microexpressions, tone, and body language. If so, it's highly likely that sometimes you struggle with not only others emotions, but your own emotions around others having feelings.

If you are highly sensitive to the emotional state of others, it can be really easy to assume that YOU are the ones responsible for the upset. But this isn't always the case.

Before over-owning your contribution to a situation and getting caught up in your own worry loop, slow it down and gather more information.

For example, rather than assuming that someone is upset with you, ask how they are doing:

"You're more quiet than usual. Are you doing ok?"
"You seem upset. How are you?"
"What's up?"

Asking questions helps to bring more clarity to the situation while also providing an opportunity for both parties to own and process their own emotions.

Second, learn now to manage your own emotions.

Highly sensitive people want to feel good which often times means making sure everyone around them feels good, too.  This means doing whatever they can do to placate others.

The thing is, when we invest our energy into placating and managing others emotions, we are not managing our own emotions.

And while we can influence how others feel, we can't control their emotions.

Learning to feel and process our own emotions AND allowing others the opportunity to learn how to feel and process their emotions is a sign of emotional maturity.

Remember, trying to manage others' emotions denies them the chance to learn and grow. Embrace uncertainty, let go of control, and practice open communication.

Want to learn more? Come and listen to this weeks podcast episode! If you find this helpful, share it with a friend or leave a review.

Click here to find me on my other platforms or apply to work with me! https://linktr.ee/maryannwalker.life

Why We Tolerate Mistreatment:
In this episode we explore three key reasons why people pleasers tolerate mistreatment: a tendency to think the best of others, the belief they can change people through kindness, and sometimes, struggles with low self-esteem. We examine the stories we tell ourselves and the excuses we make for others, ultimately enabling their behavior.

The Attraction of Manipulative People:
Kind and selfless individuals often attract unkind and manipulative people. Why? Because people pleasers take on the lion's share of the relationship work, allowing manipulative individuals to avoid accountability. But how do we navigate this dynamic without sacrificing our own well-being?

Practical Strategies:
I share two practical strategies to break free from the cycle of mistreatment. First, practice stating your truth. I share ways to assert self without exerting control. Second, practice allowing others to respond to your new sense of boundaries without taking ownership of their reactions. They might not like being told "no," but that is about them. Not you. 

Short-Term Discomfort for Long-Term Peace:
While speaking up for yourself may feel uncomfortable initially, tolerating mistreatment is unsustainable and leads to resentment. We discuss the importance of mindful navigation to avoid explosive blow-ups, emphasizing that the discomfort of change is well worth the lasting peace it can bring.

A Reminder:
As a highly sensitive individual, remember that not everyone is as attuned to emotions as you are. Speaking up for yourself might not be as hurtful to others as you imagine. Clear communication is an act of kindness, offering both parties clarity and understanding. It's about finding the balance between assertiveness and empathy.

Conclusion:
If these examples hit close to home, and you're ready to stand in your power, consider seeking support. I've personally experienced transformation through coaching, and if you resonate with this journey, I'm here to help. Thank you for being part of this community; your reviews and shares empower us to reach and support more people. Wishing you a fantastic week ahead, and until next time, take care!

To apply to work with me or find my other platforms containing free content, click here: https://linktr.ee/maryannwalker.life