Meet Chante Douglas: Author, Echoboy's Mom, Autism Advocate, Single Mom and More

If you are living in automatic, reacting and leading with your feelings in how you respond in everyday life to a variety of situations and encounters with others, this episode is for you. Pausing can be incredibly powerful to discover more about yourself, identify and analyze what drives your feelings and help you break free from reacting and have a more positive, productive outcome.  In this episode, I share when and why to pause, what you can do when you pause and how to do it. It may sound easy, but pausing takes practice. I hope this episode resonates with you and provides you with a different perspective in hope for positive changes in your life. Please share this with others who this could help. 

DM me @susanfink.rise to reach out for questions or if you need help.  I'm a mindset coach helping other single parents and parents raising children with special needs, make significant changes in the way they think to get through what they're going through. Check out more information on risemindset.com 

In this episode, I talk about how to deal with a deep sadness, which, in my experience, can lead to feeling stuck, paralyzed, anxious and overall a very sad, dark feeling that can also cause physical pain. I discuss a variety of actions you can take when you are feeling this deep sadness and emphasize the importance of awareness, intention and working through it rather than disregarding the emotion. 

DM me @susanfink.rise to reach out for questions or if you need help.  I'm a mindset coach helping other parents raising children with special needs, make significant changes in the way they think to get through what they're going through. Check out more information on risemindset.com 

In this episode, I unpack what impermanence means on a fundamental level and how it has helped me be a better mother to my special needs son, how it has helped me feel more free, joyful and handle challenging situations better, empowering me with this new mindset to live a better life and to be the best person I can be for myself and my son. 

I encourage you to focus on impermanence,  figure out how you can incorporate it into your life to feel the same freedom and joy I do from making this mindset shift. It's not as easy as it may seem, it takes practice, but it's worth it. 

DM me @susanfink.rise to reach out for questions or if you need help.  I'm a mindset coach helping other parents raising children with special needs, make significant changes in the way they think to get through what they're going through. 

If you're anything like me, you're more compassionate, empathetic, forgiving and kind to other people, but not to yourself. You're your own worst critic and may have found yourself ruminating on, feeling guilty and shameful about the way you may have handled different situations, whether you said or did something you didn't mean. You didn't take a pause to determine what you can and can't control. You were impulsive in your response, and you continue to make the same mistakes. 

In this episode, I unpack the different ways you can work through these emotions and ultimately forgiving yourself, to evolve and free yourself to move forward and live a more healthy, positive life. You don't have to sit in it, you are capable of forgiving yourself, practicing methods to help you move beyond yourself. You may not be able to control circumstances or people around you, but you have more control than you think and one area of control you have is how you move forward, how you learn from the mistakes you may have made and how you continue to grow one day at a time. 

You got this! 

Please make sure you follow this podcast, share with a friend who may heed to hear it! I appreciate you and am grateful you're listening and hope my perspectives are helping you get through what you're going through. 

If you're anything like me - a naturally negative thinker, a glass half empty thinker, this episode is for you. In this episode, I discuss ways in which I have learned to flip the script from negative to positive thinking. 

Who wants to live in the negative all of the time? I certainly don't. It takes a toll on your mental health, your emotional state, decreases motivation and productivity, has a negative impact on your relationships, work life, the list could go on and on. Positive thinking on the other has the opposite affect - things are much more colorful when you're living in the positive and quite frankly, things are much easier to manage throughout life. 

In this episode, I unpack my thoughts and experiences around shifting your mindset from negative to positive. Daily practices, intention and ideas to help flip the script including: 
- Discussions on hindsight. Let's not live in hindsight, let's life in the present
- Identifying your negative thought while you have it, stop it and replace it with positive thoughts
- Surround yourself with the right people, positive people. This may mean making some changes in your life that are not always easy decisions.
- Consider what you're grateful for and shifting your focus, redirecting your negative thoughts
- How smiling can have a positive impact on your mental state and positive outlook. 

For me personally, positivity takes practice. Most people think I am a really positive person; however, what they may not know is positivity takes awareness, intention and lots of practice for me. But...the more you practice, the more naturally you start making the mindset shift to naturally gravitate toward positive thinking first. 

I hope this episode helps you. I know this can be challenging for many, especially when going through emotionally challenges of raising children with special needs. It's even more critical for us as special needs parents to be ultra-aware of our mental health, how we are thinking and how we approach situations, which can have a positive or negative impact on those around us, especially our children. 

To connect more, please DM me @susanfink.rise. I'm here to help. Remember, you are not alone in your journey. Reach out, there are resources and your people out there to support you. 

My mission is to help as many people as I can by sharing my personal stories, insights and mindset perspectives. Please share this podcast to someone you may know who needs to hear it, so that we can continue to help other people through their journey. 

Hi there and thank you for joining this episode - a special episode as I have a guest who is helping other people through her business! My special guest today is Dina Farmer. She is a mother of two boys, one of whom is autistic. Her family is a military family (she is also a veteran) and as she was struggling with booking travel for her own family, she pivoted her business to help others - She is a founder and owner of Lily and Magnolia Travel, helping autistic families book and plan vacations as a Certified Autism Travel Professional.

In this episode, we discuss her journey with her son's diagnosis, which she reveals an important lesson and advice for other parents not to ignore your inner voice or your intuition. She is not only an advocate for her son, but also an advocate in the travel industry, helping other families take steps and find resources to help them with family vacations and ensuring families know the type of support that is out there for them. Dina shares a wealth of knowledge, resources and advice for families to take a step in travel, starting small and planning ahead, knowing resources that are available to you. 

We also go into some of her biggest challenges she faces, particularly being in a military family, moving around all of the time and advocating so much to ensure her son has everything he needs, no matter what! Sound familiar?

Check out this episode to learn more from another family/mother, listen to her advice based on her personal experiences and learn how you can get in touch with her (Lily and Magnolia Travel) to get assistance with your future travel!

Here are all the ways you can get in touch with Dina Farmer at Lily and Magnolia Travel:
www.lilyandmagnoliatravel.com

www.facebook.com/lilyandmagnoliatravel

www.instagram.com/lilyandmagnoliatravel

Dina Farmer | Travel Advisor
Certified Autism Travel Professional
Lily and Magnolia Travel
Website: www.lilyandmagnoliatravel.com
Email: dina@lilyandmagnoliatravel.com
Phone: (808) 800-1249
Schedule a complimentary consultation.
Veteran Owned Business
Black-Owned Business

Has anyone ever told you you’re being too emotional? Have you told yourself that you’re being too emotional? If someone ever says  this to you, stand proud and say, I'm proud to be emotionful! This episode dives into what it actually means to be emotionful, what are emotions, how emotionful people tend to be more empathetic and compassionate. 

I also go into things to consider if someone says "You're too emotional":

• Consider the source of who is telling you this. 
• Can lead to negative coping mechanisms
• Someone may tell you you’re emotional primarily for negative emotions, not happy, content emotions. But just like happy and positive emotions, negative emotions need to come out too. 

We often turn to negative coping mechanisms such as: 

• Shutting down - internalizing emotions
• Suppressing it - smile and pretend
• Becoming self conscious and insecure - judge ourselves negatively 
• Holding your emotions in and stuffing them inside - creates energy inside, leading to depression, anxiety, feeling completely insecure.  So, don’t disregard your emotions - positive or negative

Emotionful people tends to feel things more deeply and for longer than the average person. People who are highly emotional are often deeply compassionate, empathetic and self-aware, but at the same time may feel exhausted from feeling all the feels all the time.

Let's take a step back into what is emotion:  Emotions are psychological states brought on by neurophysiological changes, variously associated with thoughts, feelings, behavioural responses, and a degree of pleasure or displeasure.

Emotionful: Of or relating to your emotion, exhibiting emotion

Use your emotions in a positive way, how can you use them to better yourself, to positively impact your life, to learn something new about yourself? Take the time to explore your emotions, rather than dismissing them or someone else dismissing them saying you’re being emotional. . 

1. Don't repress your emotions, aim for regulating your emotions 
2. Identify what you're feeling and what is the key source, or trigger of this emotion
3. Accept all of your emotions, positive and negative
4. Keep a journal - get it out and brain dump to make more room for positive thoughts and positive coping mechanisms
5. Try deep breathing, or even tapping meditation
6. Know when to express yourself. Set time aside to express yourself, and sometimes it’s not expressing yourself to someone. Writing it down, praying about it, expressing it to God or your higher power whatever that is. Get control of this - know when it’s appropriate by setting time aside to work through your emotions. 
7. Give yourself some space - give yourself time - be gentle with yourself, have empathy for yourself
8. Use positive self-talk and actually listen to yourself.

That’s it for this episode. If you can relate to this, please follow this podcast so you never miss an episode and share this podcast to those who may need it. If you need help, I am a mindset and life coach - DM me @susanfink.rise or you can also check out my site risemindset.com to connect. I want you to remember is you’re not alone in this journey. Stay connected, reach out, there are solution out there to help you!

My mission is to help as many people as I can and I cannot do that without you. Thank you, thank you thank you for listening, thank you for your support in sharing this podcast to help others. And until next time, I appreciate, I empathize, and I am here for you. and...We...can do this

Can I ask you something? Where do you look when you are going for a walk, hike, run? 

I noticed something about myself and wonder if you do the same thing. When I walk, run or go for a hike, I find myself looking down  A LOT. I noticed this when I was going for a walk today and I was just looking down at the ground. I was very aware of where I was looking - the dirty ground, and when I actually picked my head up, lifted it, looked up, my entire perspective changed. My view had changed, and I was feeling better. 

Yes, I was looking down because I was in my head. I was walking with my head toward the ground, shoulders shrugged forward and my eyes gazing at the ground, because I was thinking negatively, I was working through some challenges I was going through. And, usually it's fear, anxiety, stress, grief, worry. So, my physical appearance and how my body was shaped was indicative of how I was thinking. 

But, when I changed my body posture, when I picked my head and looked up, when I changed where my eyes were looking - I could see the ocean waves, the sand, look at people's faces as they walked by. It was a totally different perspective. It was lighter, brighter and I could feel my negative feelings and thoughts start to disappear. 

I was really curious about this - how posture and where we are looking, looking down vs. up, could have an impact on our minds, the way we think. While I was researching, I came across studies about this exact topic, and there is a direct correlation. 

Check out this episode to learn more about this. Making this simple shift can truly have a positive impact on your mind, how you think and how you feel. 

References: 
https://thebestbrainpossible.com/posture-mood-brain-emotions/
https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_may_shape_who_you_are
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-37739-001

Follow me at: 
@susanfink.rise
risemindset.com

Do you find yourself constantly worrying about the future? Ruminating on thoughts about what could happen and trying to prepare yourself for them? This is what I called wasted worrying. The main reason it's wasted is because you don't know what the future holds. We don't know what is going to happen in the future, so why do we worry so much about it. It's wasted because we waste a lot of energy, emotional energy and time in our minds on worrying about things that may actually never happen. 

Worrying isn't completely wasted though, it can teach us something, help us identify where we focus on attention, identify if we are thinking negatively. It can help us identify all of this, to help us take action and make changes in our mindset. 

How do we stop the cycle of the wasted worry? 

Advice I received from a school staff member was to not look ahead more than 3 months, even less. Don’t look too far ahead and create your own future that may actually never happen. 

• Be aware of what you're thinking about and turn your thoughts around
• Deep breathing - breathing techniques
• Tapping meditation 
• Journal writing
• Focus on gratitude

These are not rocket science and you could look up any site about worry. But the biggest thing you need to do is to actually do these things. It takes intention and practice, so my message to you , is to figure out how to stop worrying, how to stop it when it’s happening so you don’t waste more time. What are the tools in your toolbox that can help you? This is personal to everyone, not everything works for everyone - but you have to build it, then practice it. 

I can help you - let me know if you need help with creating a customized plan and toolbox for you. It’s not always easy to figure out on your own and having an unbiased person to help you might be what you need. 

That’s it for this episode. If you can relate to this, please follow this podcast so you never miss an episode and share this podcast to those who may need it. If you need help, I am a mindset and life coach - DM me @susanfink.rise or you can also check out my site https://www.risemindset.com to connect. I want you to remember is you’re not alone in this journey. Stay connected, reach out, there are solution out there to help you!

My mission is to help as many people as I can and I cannot do that without you. Thank you, thank you thank you for listening, thank you for your support in sharing this podcast to help others. And until next time, I appreciate, I empathize, and I am here for you. and...We...can do this!

Coping on a fundamental level is what we do in our response to stress, trauma, challenges, etc. There are two basic ways of thinking about coping: 1) active or engaging coping strategies and 2) avoidant or disengaged coping behaviors.

Active coping is basically the willingness to address your challenges head on, whether that's internally or externally. This type of coping includes reframing the way you think, accepting what is going on, problem solving to figure out a solution and working toward regulating your emotions. 

On the flip side, avoidant coping strategies is basically just that, avoiding it altogether. Having denial or wishful thinking is what this type of behavior looks like. It's basically the flight of the fight or flight phenomenon - you're fleeing the situation, you don't want to deal with it, you escape. 

There are also two types of coping, inward or outward. Outward is to look toward the outside world to cope - doing things like working, helping the community, talking to others. Some negative outward coping behaviors could also look like:

• Taking out on other people
• Taking an action
• Argumentative
• Aggression

On the other hand, inward behaviors are just that - curling internally, not outwardly to cope with what you're facing. Types of behaviors could include: 

• Binge watch tv
• Self care may look like sleep, eating. Reading, meditation, prayer

Escaping is also a way of coping, which I have turned to. Escape could be turning to alcohol, overeating, drug use to escape the situation and what's going on. But, ultimately, this doesn't resolve the issue and the trauma, stress, anixety, etc is still there. Escaping can be a dangerous road to take and often can lead to a very negative mindset, not making the situation any better. 

I did this - I used to cope by drinking to escape. After a stressful day, when my son would go to bed, I would tell myself I deserved a glass of wine, I deserved it because it was tough. What I was really doing was escaping my emotions and challenges, which never went away, they were still there. 

So, I ask you, what is the way in which you cope? Is it healthy? 

Are you addressing the issue or avoiding it?

Are you making things better or worse? 

Is how you're coping getting in the way of your goals? 

I believe that awareness and understanding how you cope, and why you do what you do is the best place to start when thinking about these questions. Being aware will give you a foundation to start to identify what you need to change to live a more fulfilling, healthier and happier life in the midst of the challenges. 

I also believe that short term pain will lead to long-term gain. Many people choose the escape route and to disengage because it's the easier path to take. Dealing with all that you're going through head on and engaging in it is not easier, it's harder, BUT, it will give you a path to freedom, a path to longer-term gain. 

I hope this helps you. Please follow, share and comment and please share it with someone who may need to hear this message. Please follow me on Instagram @susanfink.rise and reach out to connect if you need help. I am a mindset and life coach and am here to help you push through your challenges to create a customized toolkit to help you.