Rise Mindset

If you are living in automatic, reacting and leading with your feelings in how you respond in everyday life to a variety of situations and encounters with others, this episode is for you. Pausing can be incredibly powerful to discover more about yourself, identify and analyze what drives your feelings and help you break free from reacting and have a more positive, productive outcome.  In this episode, I share when and why to pause, what you can do when you pause and how to do it. It may sound easy, but pausing takes practice. I hope this episode resonates with you and provides you with a different perspective in hope for positive changes in your life. Please share this with others who this could help. 

DM me @susanfink.rise to reach out for questions or if you need help.  I'm a mindset coach helping other single parents and parents raising children with special needs, make significant changes in the way they think to get through what they're going through. Check out more information on risemindset.com 

In this episode, I talk about how to deal with a deep sadness, which, in my experience, can lead to feeling stuck, paralyzed, anxious and overall a very sad, dark feeling that can also cause physical pain. I discuss a variety of actions you can take when you are feeling this deep sadness and emphasize the importance of awareness, intention and working through it rather than disregarding the emotion. 

DM me @susanfink.rise to reach out for questions or if you need help.  I'm a mindset coach helping other parents raising children with special needs, make significant changes in the way they think to get through what they're going through. Check out more information on risemindset.com 

In this episode, I unpack what impermanence means on a fundamental level and how it has helped me be a better mother to my special needs son, how it has helped me feel more free, joyful and handle challenging situations better, empowering me with this new mindset to live a better life and to be the best person I can be for myself and my son. 

I encourage you to focus on impermanence,  figure out how you can incorporate it into your life to feel the same freedom and joy I do from making this mindset shift. It's not as easy as it may seem, it takes practice, but it's worth it. 

DM me @susanfink.rise to reach out for questions or if you need help.  I'm a mindset coach helping other parents raising children with special needs, make significant changes in the way they think to get through what they're going through. 

If you're anything like me, you're more compassionate, empathetic, forgiving and kind to other people, but not to yourself. You're your own worst critic and may have found yourself ruminating on, feeling guilty and shameful about the way you may have handled different situations, whether you said or did something you didn't mean. You didn't take a pause to determine what you can and can't control. You were impulsive in your response, and you continue to make the same mistakes. 

In this episode, I unpack the different ways you can work through these emotions and ultimately forgiving yourself, to evolve and free yourself to move forward and live a more healthy, positive life. You don't have to sit in it, you are capable of forgiving yourself, practicing methods to help you move beyond yourself. You may not be able to control circumstances or people around you, but you have more control than you think and one area of control you have is how you move forward, how you learn from the mistakes you may have made and how you continue to grow one day at a time. 

You got this! 

Please make sure you follow this podcast, share with a friend who may heed to hear it! I appreciate you and am grateful you're listening and hope my perspectives are helping you get through what you're going through. 

If you're anything like me - a naturally negative thinker, a glass half empty thinker, this episode is for you. In this episode, I discuss ways in which I have learned to flip the script from negative to positive thinking. 

Who wants to live in the negative all of the time? I certainly don't. It takes a toll on your mental health, your emotional state, decreases motivation and productivity, has a negative impact on your relationships, work life, the list could go on and on. Positive thinking on the other has the opposite affect - things are much more colorful when you're living in the positive and quite frankly, things are much easier to manage throughout life. 

In this episode, I unpack my thoughts and experiences around shifting your mindset from negative to positive. Daily practices, intention and ideas to help flip the script including: 
- Discussions on hindsight. Let's not live in hindsight, let's life in the present
- Identifying your negative thought while you have it, stop it and replace it with positive thoughts
- Surround yourself with the right people, positive people. This may mean making some changes in your life that are not always easy decisions.
- Consider what you're grateful for and shifting your focus, redirecting your negative thoughts
- How smiling can have a positive impact on your mental state and positive outlook. 

For me personally, positivity takes practice. Most people think I am a really positive person; however, what they may not know is positivity takes awareness, intention and lots of practice for me. But...the more you practice, the more naturally you start making the mindset shift to naturally gravitate toward positive thinking first. 

I hope this episode helps you. I know this can be challenging for many, especially when going through emotionally challenges of raising children with special needs. It's even more critical for us as special needs parents to be ultra-aware of our mental health, how we are thinking and how we approach situations, which can have a positive or negative impact on those around us, especially our children. 

To connect more, please DM me @susanfink.rise. I'm here to help. Remember, you are not alone in your journey. Reach out, there are resources and your people out there to support you. 

My mission is to help as many people as I can by sharing my personal stories, insights and mindset perspectives. Please share this podcast to someone you may know who needs to hear it, so that we can continue to help other people through their journey. 

Hi there and thank you for joining this episode - a special episode as I have a guest who is helping other people through her business! My special guest today is Dina Farmer. She is a mother of two boys, one of whom is autistic. Her family is a military family (she is also a veteran) and as she was struggling with booking travel for her own family, she pivoted her business to help others - She is a founder and owner of Lily and Magnolia Travel, helping autistic families book and plan vacations as a Certified Autism Travel Professional.

In this episode, we discuss her journey with her son's diagnosis, which she reveals an important lesson and advice for other parents not to ignore your inner voice or your intuition. She is not only an advocate for her son, but also an advocate in the travel industry, helping other families take steps and find resources to help them with family vacations and ensuring families know the type of support that is out there for them. Dina shares a wealth of knowledge, resources and advice for families to take a step in travel, starting small and planning ahead, knowing resources that are available to you. 

We also go into some of her biggest challenges she faces, particularly being in a military family, moving around all of the time and advocating so much to ensure her son has everything he needs, no matter what! Sound familiar?

Check out this episode to learn more from another family/mother, listen to her advice based on her personal experiences and learn how you can get in touch with her (Lily and Magnolia Travel) to get assistance with your future travel!

Here are all the ways you can get in touch with Dina Farmer at Lily and Magnolia Travel:
www.lilyandmagnoliatravel.com

www.facebook.com/lilyandmagnoliatravel

www.instagram.com/lilyandmagnoliatravel

Dina Farmer | Travel Advisor
Certified Autism Travel Professional
Lily and Magnolia Travel
Website: www.lilyandmagnoliatravel.com
Email: dina@lilyandmagnoliatravel.com
Phone: (808) 800-1249
Schedule a complimentary consultation.
Veteran Owned Business
Black-Owned Business

Has anyone ever told you you’re being too emotional? Have you told yourself that you’re being too emotional? If someone ever says  this to you, stand proud and say, I'm proud to be emotionful! This episode dives into what it actually means to be emotionful, what are emotions, how emotionful people tend to be more empathetic and compassionate. 

I also go into things to consider if someone says "You're too emotional":

• Consider the source of who is telling you this. 
• Can lead to negative coping mechanisms
• Someone may tell you you’re emotional primarily for negative emotions, not happy, content emotions. But just like happy and positive emotions, negative emotions need to come out too. 

We often turn to negative coping mechanisms such as: 

• Shutting down - internalizing emotions
• Suppressing it - smile and pretend
• Becoming self conscious and insecure - judge ourselves negatively 
• Holding your emotions in and stuffing them inside - creates energy inside, leading to depression, anxiety, feeling completely insecure.  So, don’t disregard your emotions - positive or negative

Emotionful people tends to feel things more deeply and for longer than the average person. People who are highly emotional are often deeply compassionate, empathetic and self-aware, but at the same time may feel exhausted from feeling all the feels all the time.

Let's take a step back into what is emotion:  Emotions are psychological states brought on by neurophysiological changes, variously associated with thoughts, feelings, behavioural responses, and a degree of pleasure or displeasure.

Emotionful: Of or relating to your emotion, exhibiting emotion

Use your emotions in a positive way, how can you use them to better yourself, to positively impact your life, to learn something new about yourself? Take the time to explore your emotions, rather than dismissing them or someone else dismissing them saying you’re being emotional. . 

1. Don't repress your emotions, aim for regulating your emotions 
2. Identify what you're feeling and what is the key source, or trigger of this emotion
3. Accept all of your emotions, positive and negative
4. Keep a journal - get it out and brain dump to make more room for positive thoughts and positive coping mechanisms
5. Try deep breathing, or even tapping meditation
6. Know when to express yourself. Set time aside to express yourself, and sometimes it’s not expressing yourself to someone. Writing it down, praying about it, expressing it to God or your higher power whatever that is. Get control of this - know when it’s appropriate by setting time aside to work through your emotions. 
7. Give yourself some space - give yourself time - be gentle with yourself, have empathy for yourself
8. Use positive self-talk and actually listen to yourself.

That’s it for this episode. If you can relate to this, please follow this podcast so you never miss an episode and share this podcast to those who may need it. If you need help, I am a mindset and life coach - DM me @susanfink.rise or you can also check out my site risemindset.com to connect. I want you to remember is you’re not alone in this journey. Stay connected, reach out, there are solution out there to help you!

My mission is to help as many people as I can and I cannot do that without you. Thank you, thank you thank you for listening, thank you for your support in sharing this podcast to help others. And until next time, I appreciate, I empathize, and I am here for you. and...We...can do this

Can I ask you something? Where do you look when you are going for a walk, hike, run? 

I noticed something about myself and wonder if you do the same thing. When I walk, run or go for a hike, I find myself looking down  A LOT. I noticed this when I was going for a walk today and I was just looking down at the ground. I was very aware of where I was looking - the dirty ground, and when I actually picked my head up, lifted it, looked up, my entire perspective changed. My view had changed, and I was feeling better. 

Yes, I was looking down because I was in my head. I was walking with my head toward the ground, shoulders shrugged forward and my eyes gazing at the ground, because I was thinking negatively, I was working through some challenges I was going through. And, usually it's fear, anxiety, stress, grief, worry. So, my physical appearance and how my body was shaped was indicative of how I was thinking. 

But, when I changed my body posture, when I picked my head and looked up, when I changed where my eyes were looking - I could see the ocean waves, the sand, look at people's faces as they walked by. It was a totally different perspective. It was lighter, brighter and I could feel my negative feelings and thoughts start to disappear. 

I was really curious about this - how posture and where we are looking, looking down vs. up, could have an impact on our minds, the way we think. While I was researching, I came across studies about this exact topic, and there is a direct correlation. 

Check out this episode to learn more about this. Making this simple shift can truly have a positive impact on your mind, how you think and how you feel. 

References: 
https://thebestbrainpossible.com/posture-mood-brain-emotions/
https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_may_shape_who_you_are
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-37739-001

Follow me at: 
@susanfink.rise
risemindset.com

Do you find yourself constantly worrying about the future? Ruminating on thoughts about what could happen and trying to prepare yourself for them? This is what I called wasted worrying. The main reason it's wasted is because you don't know what the future holds. We don't know what is going to happen in the future, so why do we worry so much about it. It's wasted because we waste a lot of energy, emotional energy and time in our minds on worrying about things that may actually never happen. 

Worrying isn't completely wasted though, it can teach us something, help us identify where we focus on attention, identify if we are thinking negatively. It can help us identify all of this, to help us take action and make changes in our mindset. 

How do we stop the cycle of the wasted worry? 

Advice I received from a school staff member was to not look ahead more than 3 months, even less. Don’t look too far ahead and create your own future that may actually never happen. 

• Be aware of what you're thinking about and turn your thoughts around
• Deep breathing - breathing techniques
• Tapping meditation 
• Journal writing
• Focus on gratitude

These are not rocket science and you could look up any site about worry. But the biggest thing you need to do is to actually do these things. It takes intention and practice, so my message to you , is to figure out how to stop worrying, how to stop it when it’s happening so you don’t waste more time. What are the tools in your toolbox that can help you? This is personal to everyone, not everything works for everyone - but you have to build it, then practice it. 

I can help you - let me know if you need help with creating a customized plan and toolbox for you. It’s not always easy to figure out on your own and having an unbiased person to help you might be what you need. 

That’s it for this episode. If you can relate to this, please follow this podcast so you never miss an episode and share this podcast to those who may need it. If you need help, I am a mindset and life coach - DM me @susanfink.rise or you can also check out my site https://www.risemindset.com to connect. I want you to remember is you’re not alone in this journey. Stay connected, reach out, there are solution out there to help you!

My mission is to help as many people as I can and I cannot do that without you. Thank you, thank you thank you for listening, thank you for your support in sharing this podcast to help others. And until next time, I appreciate, I empathize, and I am here for you. and...We...can do this!

Coping on a fundamental level is what we do in our response to stress, trauma, challenges, etc. There are two basic ways of thinking about coping: 1) active or engaging coping strategies and 2) avoidant or disengaged coping behaviors.

Active coping is basically the willingness to address your challenges head on, whether that's internally or externally. This type of coping includes reframing the way you think, accepting what is going on, problem solving to figure out a solution and working toward regulating your emotions. 

On the flip side, avoidant coping strategies is basically just that, avoiding it altogether. Having denial or wishful thinking is what this type of behavior looks like. It's basically the flight of the fight or flight phenomenon - you're fleeing the situation, you don't want to deal with it, you escape. 

There are also two types of coping, inward or outward. Outward is to look toward the outside world to cope - doing things like working, helping the community, talking to others. Some negative outward coping behaviors could also look like:

• Taking out on other people
• Taking an action
• Argumentative
• Aggression

On the other hand, inward behaviors are just that - curling internally, not outwardly to cope with what you're facing. Types of behaviors could include: 

• Binge watch tv
• Self care may look like sleep, eating. Reading, meditation, prayer

Escaping is also a way of coping, which I have turned to. Escape could be turning to alcohol, overeating, drug use to escape the situation and what's going on. But, ultimately, this doesn't resolve the issue and the trauma, stress, anixety, etc is still there. Escaping can be a dangerous road to take and often can lead to a very negative mindset, not making the situation any better. 

I did this - I used to cope by drinking to escape. After a stressful day, when my son would go to bed, I would tell myself I deserved a glass of wine, I deserved it because it was tough. What I was really doing was escaping my emotions and challenges, which never went away, they were still there. 

So, I ask you, what is the way in which you cope? Is it healthy? 

Are you addressing the issue or avoiding it?

Are you making things better or worse? 

Is how you're coping getting in the way of your goals? 

I believe that awareness and understanding how you cope, and why you do what you do is the best place to start when thinking about these questions. Being aware will give you a foundation to start to identify what you need to change to live a more fulfilling, healthier and happier life in the midst of the challenges. 

I also believe that short term pain will lead to long-term gain. Many people choose the escape route and to disengage because it's the easier path to take. Dealing with all that you're going through head on and engaging in it is not easier, it's harder, BUT, it will give you a path to freedom, a path to longer-term gain. 

I hope this helps you. Please follow, share and comment and please share it with someone who may need to hear this message. Please follow me on Instagram @susanfink.rise and reach out to connect if you need help. I am a mindset and life coach and am here to help you push through your challenges to create a customized toolkit to help you. 

Do you feel like you lost your identity and you are unfulfilled in a certain area of your life? 

Early on when my son was born as a single mother was working and taking care of my child I completely lost sense of who I am and what my goals were, my passion, my interests - I basically identified myself as a single mom, someone who worked and took care of my son. To be honest, there wasn’t a lot of time to take care of myself or do anything I was interested in, at least I thought there wasn’t time. I felt like I completely lost myself. 

So if you've lost your identity this podcast is for you If you are unsure of who you are anymore or if you have lost your sense of being let's talk about that How can we get that back?

Here are some steps or things you can do to recover your identity, or to even create or shape a new identity, 

• Give yourself permission to figure it out - give yourself time. Sometimes we also have to deal with specific emotions in between, could be allowing yourself time to grieve, to feel and handle sadness, anxiety, to push through getting services or schedules set up for your child - there could be some things in the way that you need to move through and navigate before you can really start the work to determine your identity
• Think about things that have shaped your identity in the past. What are things you enjoyed doing - things you loved doing? What are your hobbies? 
  • For me, I enjoyed exercising, running, playing volleyball, being active in the community by volunteering, hiking, sleeping
  • Find your people - there are so many groups out there now on Facebook, meetup - you can really find people in your area who have the same passions as you. Get connected, pick up a class - interact with others who share your passions will bring so much joy to your life and focus your attention on so much positivity. 
  • This is your chance to take back what you feel like you have lost and to shape it into your life, potentially in a different way
  • Embrace change 
• Think about what you want to be in the future - what are your goals? 
• Trying to resurrect previous passions and hobbies, or to create goals for the future takes work - so get a pen and paper and start writing. Get it all out of your head and see what it looks like on paper. 
• Make a plan - How can you achieve these goals or start incorporating your passions and hobbies into your life - into your schedule. A lot of people have thoughts in their head about what they wan tto do, but don’t always put a plan together. Even a bulleted list of things you’re going to do to achieve your goals or to get out there to build back your identity. So, take this step - the more clarity you have, the better you’ll be able to reach your goals and start feeling whole again. 

Here’s the thing - Identify doesn’t have to be set in stone. 

People can grow, change, and fall in love with new ideas and out of love with old ones. Allowing yourself the opportunity to go through that process isn't a betrayal of your true identity. It may be an opportunity to find a new version of yourself you never knew was out there.

This is a difficult topic for many. I’ve had the opportunity to speak to other parents and this is one of their struggles. 

When going through this journey, and especially in the initial diagnosis, you may run across family members who don’t understand, are unsupportive, not willing to learn about the diagnosis, may even say things like - it’s just a phase. 

You may have to reset your own expectations of your family members.

They may not be able to provide the support you need, your child needs, your family needs. 

Let me ask you a question. What does support look like to you? Are you not receiving what you need? 

The truth is, they may not be able to give you what you need, the type of support you’re looking for. This could be for many reasons, and reasons I have heard include: 

• They don’t understand the diagnosis. They don’t understand what’s going on 
• They are in denial - they may not want to understand, they may be telling themselves something different because of denial
• They don’t believe in the diagnosis - they think it’s a phase
• Cultural beliefs - I have heard in some countries, autism and other special needs are viewed as mental illnesses, which is incredibly sad, but unfortunately true.

So, what do you when you have family members who do not and cannot support you. 

• Realize you can’t control anyone else. You can advocate and try to educate as much as possible, but ultimately, you can’t control how they think, or their actions. 
• Be clear with them on how they can support you - they may just not know how they can support your child and family. You may need to give them a blueprint on how to guide them to provide better support.
• Realize some people are not capable of meeting your expectations. YOU may need to change your expectations of them. 
• Set boundaries. If there is any negative talk about your child and their special needs, you can set boundaries to not accept, listen to or tolerate negative talk. 
• Seek out others who understand and create your own support group. This may need to be outside of your family - other parents, moms, community members, church - seek out other people who are open, supportive and inclusive

The bottom line is sometimes family is not the source of support. As much as we may believe family should be inclusive, supportive and helpful - they may not always be and it could be for the previous reasons I mentioned. It’s important for you to be clear on what that support looks like, to set expectations and boundaries, and to seek out support elsewhere if you’re not able to receive it through your family. 

That’s it for this episode. If you can relate to this, please follow this podcast so you never miss an episode and share this podcast to those who may need it. If you need help, I am a mindset and life coach - DM me @susanfink.rise or you can also check out my site risemindset.com to connect. I want you to remember is you’re not alone in this journey. Stay connected, reach out, there are solution out there to help you!

My mission is to help as many people as I can and I cannot do that without you. Thank you, thank you thank you for listening, thank you for your support in sharing this podcast to help others. And until next time, I appreciate, I empathize, and I am here for you. and...We...can do this

Rise with the Light is not only about challenges we go through as parents with special needs children, but I also cover  making mindset shifts to help you in everyday life deal with different struggles you might be going through, to give you a different perspective and ways to practice. Throughout my journey in battling a variety of challenges from cancer, brain surgery, divorce while 8 months pregnant, autism diagnosis of my son, being a single mom and other situations, I have had to work incredibly hard with being intentional with mindset changes - and this takes practice, so I hope these mindset tips and hacks help you too. 

I want to talk to you about how a simple object, like a stone, can help you relieve emotions, particularly anxiety and help you let go.

Have you ever carried around a rock, stone or small pebble in your pocket? You could also use a seashell, or any sort of small object to be honest. Carrying this object around with you, in your pocket, easily accessible can help you with grounding in the present, especially when faced with a challenging emotion, such as anxiety. They help you with alleviating anxiety, feeling anxious during a situation, even if you feel like you’re thinking negatively about the future, having ruminating thoughts over and over again. Take out the rock/stone, whatever it is and ground yourself. Grounding yourself is all about using your senses, and using a stone or object, here is what you can do: 

• Close your eyes
• Hold the stone/object, feel it with your fingers
• Open your eyes to look at the object
• Bring your focus to the physical sensation of the stone, being aware of what you see and feel
• Take a deep breath and state a mantra, positive statement or security statement such as “I am okay.” “This too shall pass.” even a prayer like the serenity prayer. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. 
• Then put the object back in your pocket or whatever it was easily accessible for you. 

When you start feeling anxious, pull that object out and repeat the process. 

If you’re having a hard time letting go, here is another way to use a stone.

I learned this in a therapy session many many years ago. The idea here is to physically let go of something to help you let go of something you’re struggling with in your mind. You can actually do this with just a piece of paper and pen, which I’ll tell you how to do this, but with a stone/rock, you can literally pick it up, label the stone whatever you need to let go of. Speak to it, then throw it. Making sure you don’t hit anyone. What I have found is sometimes I am in my own head and thoughts and it’s hard to turn it off and let it go. I have to do something physical to work through my thoughts. To let them go. You can do this with a paper and pencil too. Write whatever it is you need to let go of, a negative thought, whatever is on your mind - write it down...talk to it, give it the space in your mind for a few minutes. Then, crumple it up and throw it away, burn it (safely), rip it into tiny pieces, whatever you need to do to get rid of it and let go. These physical acts can be very cathartic, healing, and create significant mindshifts. To let go of the thoughts that are taking space in your mind, to make room for more positive things to come in. 

Please welcome to the show, Vani from DotUrMinds. Vani is a special needs mom, raising her daughter with Epidermolysis Bullosa, or EB, is a rare genetic connective tissue disorder that affects 1 out of every 20,000 births (in the United States - approximately 200 children a year are born with EB). Her daughter is now 19 years old, thriving, now in college at UCLA and was able to give her graduation speech at her High School graduation. Vani is also the founder of DotUrMinds and is here to tell us all about her journey, words of advice for parents and about her DotUrMinds sessions, bringing mindfulness and art together!

In this episode, we cover so much ground:

• What is EB and when was your daughter diagnosed?  We talk about her journey with her daughter, when she was diagnosed with EB just a few days out of the womb.
• Her biggest challenges as a parent of a daughter with special needs. 
• How Vani handled her emotions and mental health through her journey.
• We talk about self-care, when she realized it was important in order to care for her daughter. 
• How she discovered dot art and how she came to become the founder of DotUrMinds. 
  • It's not just another art class - this is a mindful activity - retraining your brain, where you’re focusing your time and where you focus your thoughts. You can only access your joy if you are intentional
  • Slow yourself down to observe and create
  • Relaxes your brain
• Her biggest advice to parents is all around fear.  Don't let your own fear can get in the way of the progress of our own children. Give them the lane to move in - give them the room to make decisions and help them feel like they have control. Instill the fearlessness in her - it’s a bargain and decisions to make - to experience life. 

 Mindfulness, being in the present and pushing through our own fears is why Vani is so special, an incredible mother, woman, entrepreneur who is impacting others in a very positive way. I'm so grateful I have been able to meet Vani and showcase her strength, compassion and innovation in mindfulness on my podcast.
 
Connect with Vani:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dot_ur_minds/

Website: www.doturminds.com

Watch this space for upcoming 6 week Mindfulness for Busy Special Needs Parents Workshop: www.flowcode.com/page/doturminds

Connect with her daughter Mahi Shiroor:

Check out Mahi's youtube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=UUauNofQo8aSr14Sf44GVIGQ

What does feeling helpless actually mean? According to the American Psychological Association, learned helplessness occurs when someone repeatedly faces uncontrollable, stressful situations, then does not exercise control when it becomes available.

Helplessness can come from a single event, like trauma, or a series of events that are recurring. it can lead to depression and often puts your brain into fight or flight mode.

Helplessness basically is a feeling of not being in control. Powerlessness. You can overwhelm the areas of the brain responsible for problem solving and judgment and things get cloudy - you can’t think on your feet, find solutions to make things better or problem-solve. 

Often when feeling helpless or other emotions, people tend to ‘buffer’ which is a way to avoid the emotion or feeling. They turn to binge watching netflix, over eating, binge drinking or having a night out to unwind - but don’t really tackle and face the emotion. Avoidance and running away from the emotion might feel good for the moment, but it doesn’t resolve anything does it? 

Are we really helpless though? This is a feeling - and feelings are often not facts. It doesn’t mean we should disregard those feelings, but we should consider how we approach them. 

Yes, absolutely, there are things we may not have control over, but we have to shift and find out what we DO have control over. Identifying what we have control over helps to reduce the feeling of helplessness - but it’s not always an easy way to get there. 

• Turn to your senses - grounding
• Three types of grounding: Physical, Mental and Soothing
• Focus on the now Mindfulness - Focused on the present, not the past or the future
• Journal - Get your emotions out - release what you’re thinking
• Get support - Talk to someone you trust. 
• Figure out your resources - Make a plan
• One step at a time, one day at a time.

Follow Rise with the Light so you don't miss another episode. 
Follow me  on Instagram @susanfink.rise and check out my new website: https://www.risemindset.com/ to connect even more. 

Help is available, support is here. You are not alone in your journey!

I had the pleasure of meeting with Chante Douglas, a single mother, an autism advocate, a military veteran having served in the air force and a published author, bring awareness and advocacy about the autism community. 

We cover so many topics, including when her son, Levi, was diagnosed, the mental health challenges she has faced, and how she has been working through them. Helping her son with his mental health after he had a 'terrible, terrible day,' which she drew inspiration from for her upcoming book that is going to be released soon called, "Are You Okay?"

She literally turned her son into a superhero, Echoboy, as well as introducing his side-kick, ABC Girl! Driving more representation in the black and brown communities, especially related to autism, is really important to Chante. 

Chante has taken her pain and driven it to her purpose, using writing as a way to express herself through her poetry, but also writing childrens books, not only to help other children with autism know they are not alone, but also to educate other children (neurotypical) about autism.

She is an inspiration, through advocating for her son, being vulnerable in sharing her journey and impacting others in a positive way.

Check out the books she has available to purchase (see links below), as well as connect with Chante through the many channels she is available.

Through connection, we can find unity, through unity, we can find solutions and support for each other. 

Books to Purchase:
The Adventures of Echo boy And ABC girl https://www.amazon.com/dp/1686224591/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_0RM7D9F5EWWQPK6QRB2A

ABC GIRL- The Wonderful World of ABCs https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08KMBY758/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_8533R7VR1WNV6MCN77SY

Connect with Chante: 
Facebook Business Page: https://www.facebook.com/echoboyabcgirl
Facebook Personal: https://www.facebook.com/chante.douglas
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/echoboysmom82/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/levismom82?lang=en

I had the privilege of connecting with Dr. Tasnuva, who is now a dear friend in the autism community. Not only is she an autism advocate for her son, she has created her own signature program to help other people, utilizing her background in pharmacy and all that she has learned with helping her son and his abilities. She is absolutely inspiring.

Dr. Tasnuva is a Pharmacist with a PhD in Natural Medicine. She has been an Assistant Professor of Pharmacy at her Alma mater in Bangladesh. She is also a published research scientiest on Stress and Natural Medicinal Approach.

She is a holistic Health Advocate, a mom of 3 with a kid on the spectrum and living in Ottawa, Canada. Her experience in helping her autism child thrive, verbalise and supercharge has given her the knowledge and desire to help others. Now she is working as an Autism Health Coach helping Autism Kids with Language, speech, communication and other physical and cognitive developmental delays to get successful.

Her 5 pillars to supercharging and supporting autism kids is transcribed in her Signature program The Autism Diet. Sign up for her newsletter and join her tribe in the links below to get help and support by your side.

Connect with Dr. Tasnuva:

Private FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/276102687017998/?ref=share

Blog: www.neurodiversenerd.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/the_neurodiverse_nerd

Facebook: www.facebook.com/tasnuva.tunna

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-tasnuva-tunna-phd-autism-health-coach-24a79470

In this episode, I talk specifically about anger. This is a challenging emotion to navigate, it can take over our entire body and can make us do and say things that we may not mean. 

When my son was diagnosed and throughout our journey of autism, I have seen anger rise up inside of me - I have let it take control of me rather than taking control of it. 

What I learned is the emotion of anger may not even be related fully to the circumstance that is actually happening. It can be rooted in so many othert hings, that impact our anger, how it comes out, how we deal with it. 

Anger doesn't solve anything and I talk about ways to cope and create your own toolbox to find ways to handle your emotions, particularly anger. 

I also talk about acceptance in this episode. Perhaps our anger comes from not actually accepting our circumstances, accepting a diagnosis. It can also stem from going through the grieving process. 

Regardless of what your anger is rooted in, finding ways to cope with it, to adknowledge it, use your toolbox to let it all go. This is critical to your success as a parent, to make mindset shifts in this area of anger to support your child and your family in the best way. 

The last thing I’ll say is acceptance. Perhaps we’re angry because we also haven't fully accepted what the situation is. We’re holding on thinking things will change when they aren’t changing fast enough, when they are not changing at all. We want to take it out on someone, on our kids, our spouse, but often times it’s our inability to accept what we cannot change. It’s our want and desire for something we envisioned in our lives, that does not exist. We may be feeling sorry for ourselves and haven't gotten to a place where we accept our child for who they are, for everything they are and we are stuck. We do have to figure out how to let this go, how to make this shift into acceptance, even though it is a really difficult time. We have to be able to move beyond what we wanted, what we hoped for and realize what we cannot change, progress forward ourselves and focus on what we have right in front of us. 

That’s it for this episode. If you can relate to this, please subscribe or follow this podcast so you never miss an episode. And I’m curious, How would or do you respond when people say this? I’m curious...DM me @susanfink.rise. I really would love to hear from you. 

My mission is to help as many people as I can and I cannot do that without you. Thank you, thank you thank you for listening, thank you for your support in sharing this podcast to help others. And until next time, I appreciate, I empathize, and I am here for you. and...We...can do this

It was a blessing to have Jamiel Owens, the founder and founder/host of the Ausome Show and incredible advocate for the autism community. 

Jamiel's son was diagnosed with autism when he was 3 years old, and in this episode, we talk about his family, when his son was diagnosed, the challenges he faced as a father. We also get into discussion around having a spiritual foundation, ensuring you're communicating with your local police department and the things his son has taught him. Most of all, he provides incredible insight, perspective and advice for all parents out there, particularly remembering that everyone is unique in their way, to embrace who you are! 

Jamiel is an incredible father, focused on his purpose to support the autism community, especially the black and brown community - to be the voice people can relate to, and provide support. He has many accollades of being published multiple times in Autism Parnet magazine and Next for Autism publications. He is also the co-host of the Ben and Jay Show and is working with the police departments to bring awareness to autism, incorporating awareness in their training. 

Not only that, Jamiel is a volunteer fire fighter, a former corrections officer and you guessed it...a GREAT DAD! 

I am just so honored to have met Jamiel and having the privilege to talk to him. I hope this episode inspires you, provides you with a different perspective and gives you hope. 

Here are the areas you can find Jamiel and all of the work he has been working on: 

Check out The Ausome Show (host)
Check out the Ben and Jay Show (co-host)
https://www.instagram.com/theausomeshow/
https://www.facebook.com/theausomeshow/

Thank you for listening. 

Sidenote: 
I have partnered with Inclusion and Kindness to offer a giveaway. Inclusion and Kindness is all about recognizing people who are kind and making a difference in this world. If you haven't heard about Inclusion and Kindness, they create jewelry, keychains and bookmarks all around kindness and inclusion! So, we want you to nominate someone who is living the life of kindness. Send me a DM on Instagram @susanfink.rise to nominate someone and tell me about why you nominated them. I will pick two kind people in March and Inclusion and Kindness will send a care package to them. Let's do this!! Let me know - DM me @susanfink.rise to nominate! 
(https://www.instagram.com/inclusionandkindness/) 

Grieving isn't just for things that you had and have lost, it's also for things that you may have never had. Basically, grieving the fantasy of what you never had, what you wished for or envisioned, which didn't come true. All of the feelings that come with grieving, including sadness, pain, loss, it’s the same as if you did lose something you had, so there isn’t a difference. 

I’ll be honest. When I found out I was pregnant and was going to be a mom, and when I learned he was going to be a boy, I had all of the fantasies, wishes and hopes for what he would be like. I envisioned everything would be okay, He would play sports like I did, he would call me mommy, he would mimic me, try to eat off my plate, say things I say, talk to me, some things I thought were pretty basic. I thought he would be a social butterfly like me, make friends, want to play with other kids, so many things I was fantasizing about, things I wished for my son and envisioned he would be like. 

But, none of this happened. He didn’t do any of these things. He didn’t call me mommy for his first few years, he wasn’t able to put sentences together, say many words, he didn’t want to play with other kids, he has a hard time socially. He would have incredibly difficult and physical meltdowns, sometimes hitting me and trying to pull my hair or my eyes because he couldn’t communicate. I can understand that - if you weren’t able to communicate, I’m sure you would have a meltdown too. This was his way of communicating, and I was learning more and more about him. He also had a lot of language delays, so he didn’t always understand what I was saying. He doesn’t really care much to play with other kids. He didn’t do any pretend play until more recently and he doesn’t understand social cues.  Because of his speech delays, other kids are not patient with him, so he is usually left behind and other kids don’t include him in playtime.

When we hold onto the fantasy, it  can cause frustration, anger, anxiety and disappointment when we can’t get the fantasy, what we wish for. 

I had often found myself frustrated, stressed, angry, disappointed, I had to realize I was holding onto my fantasy about my son. I was comparing him to my fantasy and that fantasy was setting the expectation. I had to figure out how to let it go. 

When I am fantasizing, I come out in pain. Fantasizing creates pain for me. It creates pain because what I was thinking about, what I wished for is not happening, it’s not real in the moment, it’s not actually happening. It’s like I’m torturing myself about something that just isn’t true. 

That fantasy creates pain because it creates a difference, it creates a separation between what is real and something else in the future that's ideal or imaginary.

So what do we do with the fantasy?  We have to learn to let it go and grieve it. 

Check out this episode to learn more about how to let it go, how to grieve it and let go so it doesn't continue to hurt you and make things worse. 

If you can relate to this, please subscribe or follow this podcast so you never miss an episode. Share this podcast with other parents who are raising children with autism and special needs. 

DM me @susanfink.rise on instagram. I would love to hear from you and if this has helped you in any way. 

My mission is to help as many people as I can and I cannot do that without you. Thank you, thank you thank you for listening, thank you for your support in sharing this podcast to help others. And until next time, I appreciate, I empathize, and I am here for you. and...We...can do this!