Podcast Summary
Growing up as an outsider shaped Nezua Zabian's perspective: Experiences, even those that feel unfamiliar or challenging, can shape us into unique individuals and influence our work and outlook on life
Experiences, even those that may seem challenging or unfamiliar, can shape us into the individuals we become. Nezua Zabian, a poet, speaker, author, and thought leader, grew up feeling like an outsider as the youngest child born and raised in Lebanon while her siblings were in Canada. She spent a lot of time with relatives and felt a strong desire to emulate the adults in her life. Despite not having her parents around much, she found wisdom and maturity within herself, which has carried over into her adult life. Her unique upbringing gave her a perspective that has influenced her work and her outlook on life. The way we experience things is subjective, and it's essential to honor and learn from those experiences, no matter how they may differ from the intended norm.
Childhood experiences shape emotional development: Childhood experiences, including feelings of not belonging and bullying, can negatively impact emotional development. However, vulnerability and connection can lead to growth.
Childhood experiences, particularly feelings of not belonging and bullying, can significantly impact a person's emotional development and sense of self. These experiences can lead to feelings of sadness, low self-worth, and a belief that something is fundamentally wrong. However, vulnerability and the willingness to share these experiences with others can lead to growth and connection. Additionally, major life changes, such as moving to a new country, can present both challenges and opportunities for personal growth. The speaker's story highlights the resilience of the human spirit and the importance of embracing vulnerability and connection in the face of adversity.
Feeling Invisible and Insignificant: Embrace your uniqueness and recognize your worth to grow and connect with others. Painful experiences can become turning points and lead to personal growth.
Feeling invisible and insignificant can be a shield, but it also prevents personal growth and connection with others. The speaker shared her experience of wanting to be invisible during her teenage years, avoiding social situations and not contributing to extracurricular activities. She believed that no one would have imagined her becoming who she is today. However, she now realizes the importance of being visible and embracing one's uniqueness. The speaker also emphasized that the events of our lives do not define us, but the meaning we take from them does. An incident in her life that caused her pain eventually became a turning point, leading her to start writing again and finding her voice. She encourages those who feel invisible to recognize their worth and courageously step out of their comfort zone.
Unexpected encounters and their impact: Unexpected experiences and connections can lead to personal growth and unexpected outcomes, but it's essential to prioritize self-respect and assertiveness in all relationships.
Unexpected experiences and connections can significantly impact our lives in ways we never imagined. The speaker's encounter with a principal during her teaching career led her to a year of personal growth and openness, which eventually paved the way for an unexpected romantic interest. However, the power dynamic in their relationship became problematic when the principal's advances became inappropriate. Despite feeling guilty for rejecting him, the speaker stood firm and prioritized her own boundaries. This experience taught her the importance of self-respect and assertiveness in navigating complex relationships.
Power dynamics and emotional attachment: Understand power dynamics, be sensitive, and build self-worth from within to prevent uncomfortable attachments and inappropriate situations.
People, especially women, can develop attachments to individuals who hold power or control over them, even if the situation is uncomfortable or inappropriate. This dynamic can stem from a lack of self-worth or a need for validation, making it essential for individuals in positions of authority to be aware of their actions and the impact they have on others. The attention received can feel good, but it doesn't make the situation any less inappropriate. The conversation highlights the importance of understanding the power dynamics in relationships and the need for sensitivity and care to prevent putting others in awkward positions. Additionally, people should focus on building their self-worth from within rather than relying on external validation.
Building a strong sense of self-worth: Learning to validate ourselves and fill our emotional voids is essential for personal growth and emotional resilience, allowing us to approach relationships from a place of wholeness and equality.
Building a strong sense of self-worth and self-fulfillment is crucial for personal growth and emotional resilience. It's essential to learn to validate ourselves and fill our own emotional voids, rather than relying on others to do so. This not only helps us deal with the inevitable challenges of relationships and loss but also allows us to approach them from a place of wholeness and equality. By focusing on building a home within ourselves, we can create a solid foundation for healthy and fulfilling relationships, where both parties bring their unique selves to the table, rather than relying on each other to complete them.
Pain and growth are interconnected: Recognizing and processing past pain is essential for growth and self-discovery, while suppressing emotions can hinder healing.
Pain and growth are interconnected. People often avoid pain and suppress their emotions, cheating themselves out of the opportunity to grow and heal. Past experiences, even those filled with pain and abuse, can be transformative if we allow ourselves to acknowledge and process them. Building a healthy relationship involves being vulnerable and compassionate with oneself, recognizing that everyone has a unique perspective and that past experiences shape how we view ourselves and the world around us. Gaslighting, a form of manipulation where someone denies or distorts reality, can further complicate healing, but acknowledging and understanding the truth of our experiences is essential for growth and self-discovery.
Recognizing and addressing past pain: Understanding patterns of toxic relationships and recognizing self-worth beyond external validation can help overcome emotional mountains from past pain and trauma.
Acknowledging and addressing our pain, no matter what form it takes or where it comes from, is a crucial step in the healing process. This woman's experience of an unhealthy relationship served as a catalyst for her to recognize and confront her feelings of shame, self-doubt, and fear of judgment. These emotions, which she describes as "mountains," weighed her down and prevented her from fully being herself. By recognizing the patterns of a toxic relationship between a narcissist and an empath, she was able to understand that her worth was not defined by external validation or the opinions of others. Her resilience and ability to climb her metaphorical mountain, despite feeling lonely and isolated, serves as a reminder that overcoming past pain and trauma is possible. Ultimately, this woman's story highlights the importance of self-confidence, self-awareness, and the power of acknowledging and addressing our emotional experiences.
Empaths dealing with narcissists: Focus on self-love and growth: Empaths dealing with narcissists should focus on self-love, self-reflection, and growth, rather than trying to change them.
As an empath, dealing with a narcissist can leave you drained and feeling powerless. They may manipulate you into believing that you can change them, but ultimately, you cannot. Instead, focus on changing yourself and cherishing the brief moments of love and connection they may offer. Self-love is crucial in this process, as it allows you to grow and move forward. Nezua, an exceptional speaker, emphasizes the importance of self-love and self-reflection in her work. By observing our thoughts and behaviors, we can learn, grow, and open ourselves up to positive experiences. However, be mindful not to scrutinize yourself excessively. Embrace the power within you to change and heal.
Understanding the difference between observation, scrutiny, self-love, and self-criticism: Observation and self-love promote personal growth, while scrutiny and self-criticism can be harmful. Focus on treating ourselves with kindness and compassion, and prioritize our well-being for a positive self-image and fulfilling life.
Observation and self-love are crucial for personal growth, but they should not be confused with scrutinization and self-criticism. Observation is a healthy practice that allows us to learn and improve, while scrutinization can lead to self-harm and negativity. Self-love, on the other hand, means treating ourselves with the same kindness, empathy, and compassion that we would offer to our loved ones. It's essential to imagine ourselves as valued individuals and prioritize our well-being, even when no one is watching. By focusing on these practices, we can foster a positive self-image and live more fulfilling lives. Additionally, it's important to remember that our intentions and actions should not be driven solely by external validation or praise, but rather by an intrinsic desire to be our best selves.
Be true to yourself, not just for show: Focus on sincere intentions and self-reflection, letting actions speak for true character, rather than seeking validation from others.
We should focus on having sincere intentions and being true to ourselves, rather than doing good things to impress others. The true essence of our character will eventually shine through, just like how the most beautiful plants grow under rocks and unnoticed beginnings can lead to great strength and beauty. It's important to take time for self-reflection and appreciate who we are, rather than constantly seeking validation from others. By doing the work and being a good person, we can let our actions speak for themselves and ultimately find happiness and contentment within ourselves.
Disconnect between self-perception and others' perception: Despite external validation, focus on intentions and helping others to find meaning and growth.
Experiencing a disconnect between the story others tell about you and the truth of who you are can lead to feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt. This disconnect can be particularly painful when it comes from someone close to you, like a parent. During such times, it's essential to remember your intentions and focus on helping others instead of seeking validation from the outside world. The speaker shared a personal experience of feeling lost and disconnected from herself when her father pointed out that she no longer possessed a certain look that he remembered from her childhood. However, she eventually regained her sense of self-worth by focusing on her intentions and helping others. It's natural to experience moments of self-doubt and uncertainty, especially in the public eye, but it's crucial to remember that our worth is not defined by external validation. Instead, we should focus on our intentions and helping others to find meaning and growth in our experiences.
Be true to yourself, not for others' approval: Strive to be authentic, live and project your image as you choose, not for others' expectations, engage with Mylet on social media for prizes, and share the message of Max Out Universe with loved ones.
You should strive to be yourself authentically, not for the approval of others. The speaker, Mylet, emphasized this message during her talk, encouraging everyone to dress, project an image, and live as they choose because it's what they want, not for someone else's expectations. Mylet also shared her books, "Mine Platter" and "Nectar of Pain," which are beautifully written, and invited listeners to engage with her on social media for a chance to win prizes. Additionally, she reminded the audience to share the message of the Max Out Universe and this program with their loved ones, as it's the fastest-growing program in the world and has the potential to change many lives. Mylet is a renowned inspirational speaker, life coach, and peak performance expert in the United States.
