Overcoming the Impostor Syndrome ft. Ericka Sallee

Eboni K.  Williams, attorney, multi-millionaire, TV personality, and podcaster told bestselling author, teacher, and healer Iyanla Vanzant that she would only date a bus driver if he owned the bus. 

 In episode S3 E13, newly barred attorney and educator, Perneita Farrar joins me in what I deem an important conversation for today's Black woman. We talk about Perneita's dilemma, the challenges of dating blue-collar men, and what I wished Iyanla had told Eboni K to do to improve her chances of attracting a provider and protector.

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Go to Sisters Gathering to Heal and grab a copy of 13 Things Black Women Who Love Themselves DON'T Do 

And remember to love yourself FIRST and love yourself FIERCELY! 

It may be hard to hear, but truth be told many women are energetically more masculine than they are feminine. In episode S3 E12, I talk about how we hurt ourselves, repel masculine men, and damage our children when we lead with our masculine energy. I also offer ways we can, as we REDEFINE what it means to be strong, engage in self-care practices that will nurture our feminine essence, increase our magnetism and fuel our feminine power. Happy Mother's Day, Beloved!

CONNECT WITH DEBORA

Want to change your life? Book an Embrace Vulnerability Breakthrough Session

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Do me a favor, if you enjoyed the podcast, please subscribe, share, rate & review. Thank you! 

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Get copies of my books Love Addicted: One Woman's Spiritual Journey Through Emotional Dependency, Why Did He Break Up With Me? Lessons in Love, Loss & Letting Go, and Write That Book! How to Start or Finish the Book You're Meant to Write @ Amazon

Go to Sisters Gathering to Heal and grab a copy of 13 Things Black Women Who Love Themselves DON'T Do 

And remember to love yourself FIRST and love yourself FIERCELY! 

Episode S3 E11, was inspired by a conversation that I had with a classy, beautiful sisterfriend who finds herself smitten by a handsome, charming man who boomeranged back into her life. One night my friend called me and we talked into the wee hours of the morning about the "situationship" (her word not mines) that she's in. It's natural for a heterosexual woman to desire the attention and companionship of a man. But at what cost do we entertain a man? This is what I talk about in this episode. Btw, my friend granted me permission to share her story. 

CONNECT WITH DEBORA

Want to change your life? Book an Embrace Vulnerability Breakthrough Session

My Current Offerings: https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/

Move Abroad Support for Black Women Over 50

https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/MoveAbroad

Let’s Conquer Loneliness Together:

https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/ConquerLoneliness

Follow me on IG SistersGatheringtoHealPodcast

Do me a favor, if you enjoyed the podcast, please subscribe, share, rate & review. Thank you! 

Buy me a Coffee. Thank you!  

Get copies of my books Love Addicted: One Woman's Spiritual Journey Through Emotional Dependency, Why Did He Break Up With Me? Lessons in Love, Loss & Letting Go, and Write That Book! How to Start or Finish the Book You're Meant to Write @ Amazon

Go to Sisters Gathering to Heal and grab a copy of 13 Things Black Women Who Love Themselves DON'T Do 

And remember to love yourself FIRST and love yourself FIERCELY! 

If you're reading this, you still want more out of life. It's how humans are built. And it's also human to sometimes want something but find ourselves stuck or stalled because we're wrestling with fear. Can you relate or is it just me? In episode S3 E10, I explore what holds us back from being, doing, and having the things, experiences, and life that we desire. Listen to the end for what's coming up for the Sisterhood. Oh, if this episode blesses you in any way, do me a favor and leave a comment, rate the podcast, share it with a friend and subscribe. 

CONNECT WITH DEBORA

Want to change your life? Book an Embrace Vulnerability Breakthrough Session

My Current Offerings: https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/

Move Abroad Support for Black Women Over 50

https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/MoveAbroad

Let’s Conquer Loneliness Together:

https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/ConquerLoneliness

Follow me on IG SistersGatheringtoHealPodcast

Do me a favor, if you enjoyed the podcast, please subscribe, share, rate & review. Thank you! 

Buy me a Coffee. Thank you!  

Get copies of my books Love Addicted: One Woman's Spiritual Journey Through Emotional Dependency, Why Did He Break Up With Me? Lessons in Love, Loss & Letting Go, and Write That Book! How to Start or Finish the Book You're Meant to Write @ Amazon

Go to Sisters Gathering to Heal and grab a copy of 13 Things Black Women Who Love Themselves DON'T Do 

And remember to love yourself FIRST and love yourself FIERCELY! 

-     We properly wrap up our Stop Calling Me Strong Series with an always timely conversation about self-care and pleasure. In episode S3 E9, I sat down with Certified Erotic Blueprint Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, Tosh Patterson. 

Tosh, who teaches women how to simplify life so they can reignite their sensual/sexual self, shares how the strong black woman syndrome led to bouts of anxiety and drove her into a deep depression. Because her family and friends had held her in such high regard, she struggled in secrecy and silence. 

Tosh shares how she broke free and together we unpack: 

• What causes the strong black woman (SBW) to stop hearing her own voice
• What keeps SBW from asking for support and receiving it when offered
• What it takes to become a woman who confidently asks for what she needs and wants 
• What the SBW is encouraged to do even when she's falling apart
• The link between setting better boundaries and vulnerability
• How perfectionism keeps the SBW bound 
• The impact of Black Excellence, i.e., striving for material success—cars, houses, clothes, degrees—on the lives of black women 
• What the SBW does that undermines intimacy in her most cherished relationships
• What are self-care and pleasure and why it matters so much
• How to build the prioritizing self-care and pleasure muscle
•  What it takes to heal the SBW Syndrome

To work with Tosh on retreat or through 1:1 coaching, email her.  

Tosh co-authored The Path to Pleasure: A Black Woman's Guide to Healing Her Inner Goddess, Igniting Her Spirit, & Awakening Her Pleasure - Available on Amazon.

Need a Retreat? Check out BLACK GODDESS COLLECTIVE

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My Offerings: https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/

Move Abroad Support for Black Women Over 50

https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/MoveAbroad

Let’s Conquer Loneliness Together:

https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/ConquerLoneliness

Follow me on IG SistersGatheringtoHealPodcast

Do me a favor, if you enjoyed the podcast, please subscribe, share, rate & review. Thank you! 

Buy me a Coffee. Thank you!  

Get copies of my books Love Addicted: One Woman's Spiritual Journey Through Emotional Dependency, Why Did He Break Up With Me? Lessons in Love, Loss & Letting Go, and Write That Book! How to Start or Finish the Book You're Meant to Write @ Amazon

Go to Sisters Gathering to Heal and grab a copy of 13 Things Black Women Who Love Themselves DON'T Do 

And remember to love yourself FIRST and love yourself FIERCELY! 

-        

I had so much fun recording and editing this installment of the Stop Calling Me Strong series with Advocate, DEI Facilitator, Healer, Teaching Artist, Activist, Playwright, and Stand-Up Comic Sheila Gaskins. 

In S3 E8, I talked to Sheila, who is the author of the forthcoming book of poetry and prose, A Whistling Girl and a Crowing Hen Never Comes to a Very Good End and Other Things My Mama Said, about:

• why this series topic resonates so strongly with her
• the obstacles to black women being soft, sweet, and giddy 
• how she, like many black women, was forced into a masculine role
• how labeling black women strong benefits white supremacy  
• what her black male therapist said that changed everything
• what black women ought to give themselves permission to be 

I had a load of ah-ha moments during this conversation. Listen, share with a friend or family, and leave a comment. 

Connect with Sheila on FB and IG

CONNECT WITH ME

My Offerings: https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/

Move Abroad Support for Black Women Over 50

https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/MoveAbroad

Let’s Conquer Loneliness Together:

https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/ConquerLoneliness

Follow me on IG SistersGatheringtoHealPodcast

Do me a favor, if you enjoyed the podcast, please subscribe, share, rate & review. Thank you! 

Buy me a Coffee. Thank you!  

Get copies of my books Love Addicted: One Woman's Spiritual Journey Through Emotional Dependency, Why Did He Break Up With Me? Lessons in Love, Loss & Letting Go, and Write That Book! How to Start or Finish the Book You're Meant to Write @ Amazon

Go to Sisters Gathering to Heal and grab a copy of 13 Things Black Women Who Love Themselves DON'T Do 

And remember to love yourself FIRST and love yourself FIERCELY! 

Are you a strong black woman? Do you feel free? 

In episode S3 E7 of the Stop Calling Me Strong series, I talk with therapist turned Life Coach, Diane Jones, who lives in Mexico where she is happily designing a 'soft life' for herself. In this juicy conversation full of gems, Diane, who says she too was once plagued by the strong black woman syndrome, shares how hitting a wall in her profession changed the trajectory of her practice and personal life. 

We talked about so much, including: 

• how, like the typical strong black woman, she allowed unaddressed anxieties to pile up 
• why the strong black woman rarely makes choices based on what she needs and desires
• how, when making major shifts, the SBW ought to move
• why strong black women get no reciprocity 
• what SBW aren't allowed to say out loud
• what typically is the root cause of SBW's emotional eating 
• why strong black women are bound 
• and how SBW can break free!  

Connect with Diane, who is working on curating retreats for women who are “All hustle and no wholeness,” at  http://www.thelotuswellnessgroup.com/

CONNECT WITH ME

My Offerings: https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/

Move Abroad Support for Black Women Over 50

https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/MoveAbroad

Let’s Conquer Loneliness Together:

https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/ConquerLoneliness

Follow me on IG SistersGatheringtoHealPodcast

Do me a favor, if you enjoyed the podcast, please subscribe, share, rate & review. Thank you! 

Buy me a Coffee. Thank you!  

Get copies of my books Love Addicted: One Woman's Spiritual Journey Through Emotional Dependency, Why Did He Break Up With Me? Lessons in Love, Loss & Letting Go, and Write That Book! How to Start or Finish the Book You're Meant to Write @ Amazon

Go to Sisters Gathering to Heal and grab a copy of 13 Things Black Women Who Love Themselves DON'T Do 

And remember to love yourself FIRST and love yourself FIERCELY! 

Our Stop Calling Me Strong series continues with Speaker, Teacher, Advocate, and certified Life Coach,  Jacqueline Lofton, once upon a time the quintessential strong black woman. Jacqueline took care of everybody and everything at home and at work and did so seemingly flawlessly. That is, everybody got her care but her. In S3 E6, Jacqueline talks about having a breakdown in 2017, which had her asking..

• What about ME?
• When can I be vulnerable?
• When can I depend on other people to take care of ME?
• When does somebody care about ME?

She shares what happened that turned her breakdown into a breakthrough. We explore:

• What's often at the root of the strong black woman's drive to give and do too much
• How and why black parents crush their children's dreams. 
• The role that Black Excellence plays in strong black women's lives

We wrap up our conversation with ways the SBW can get off the hamster wheel of "I'm not enough" and "I got something to prove."

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https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/MoveAbroad

Let’s Conquer Loneliness Together:

https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/ConquerLoneliness

Follow me on IG SistersGatheringtoHealPodcast

Do me a favor, if you enjoyed the podcast, please subscribe, share, rate & review. Thank you! 

Buy me a Coffee. Thank you!  

Get copies of my books Love Addicted: One Woman's Spiritual Journey Through Emotional Dependency, Why Did He Break Up With Me? Lessons in Love, Loss & Letting Go, and Write That Book! How to Start or Finish the Book You're Meant to Write @ Amazon

Go to Sisters Gathering to Heal and grab a copy of 13 Things Black Women Who Love Themselves DON'T Do 

And remember to love yourself FIRST and love yourself FIERCELY! 

Our Stop Calling Me Strong Series continues.  In episode S3 E5, I talk to Angela Williams who, only months after her 22-year-old son rear-ended a tractor-trailer, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Angela shares how the expectation that she be always be strong, even when she was bedridden, left her feeling unimportant, abandoned, and dependent on her 80-something-year-old grandfather. She speaks candidly about her 16-year marriage, how it was tested and almost fell apart during this time. Angela and I talk about lessons that that illness taught her, like learning to communicate her feeling and needs and setting boundaries that support her emotional, physical and spiritual health and wellbeing.  

Angela is an Independent Scentsy Consultant, Motivational Speaker, and Resilience Coach who helps people navigate life transitions, cope with chronic stress and illness, recover from trauma, and overall improve their well-being. Find her on YouTube at Today’s Vibe and visit her Scentsy site at https://smellvibes.scentsy.us

CONNECT WITH ME

My Offerings: https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/

Move Abroad Support for Black Women Over 50

https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/MoveAbroad

Let’s Conquer Loneliness Together:

https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/ConquerLoneliness

Follow me on IG SistersGatheringtoHealPodcast

Do me a favor, if you enjoyed the podcast, please subscribe, share, rate & review. Thank you! 

Buy me a Coffee. Thank you!  

Get copies of my books Love Addicted: One Woman's Spiritual Journey Through Emotional Dependency, Why Did He Break Up With Me? Lessons in Love, Loss & Letting Go, and Write That Book! How to Start or Finish the Book You're Meant to Write @ Amazon

Go to Sisters Gathering to Heal and grab a copy of 13 Things Black Women Who Love Themselves DON'T Do 

And remember to love yourself FIRST and love yourself FIERCELY! 

For our Stop Calling Me Strong Series, in episode S3 E4, I talk with Love Coach Renee Miller who knew she was a catch. At least on paper. But her success, or lack thereof, in dating told a different story. When she dated, Renee, like a lot of strong black women led with her achievements and success. Consequently, she got nowhere with love. When Renee, a self-proclaimed serial dater, got intentional about changing the trajectory of her love-life she attracted the love of her life. We talked about the power of vulnerability, healing, letting yourself be seen, and much more. 

DON'T BE SHY, CONNECT WITH ME

My Offerings: https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/

Move Abroad Support for Black Women Over 50

https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/MoveAbroad

Let’s Conquer Loneliness Together:

https://ScheduleTimeWithDeBora.as.me/ConquerLoneliness

Follow me on IG SistersGatheringtoHealPodcast

Do me a favor, if you enjoyed the podcast, please subscribe, share, rate & review. Thank you! 

Buy me a Coffee. Thank you!  

Get copies of my books Love Addicted: One Woman's Spiritual Journey Through Emotional Dependency, Why Did He Break Up With Me? Lessons in Love, Loss & Letting Go, and Write That Book! How to Start or Finish the Book You're Meant to Write @ Amazon

Go to Sisters Gathering to Heal and grab a copy of 13 Things Black Women Who Love Themselves DON'T Do 

And remember to love yourself FIRST and love yourself FIERCELY!