Podcast Summary
Humor and grief: Humor and open conversations can help navigate complex emotions of grief. GriefCast uses humor to create a space for honest conversations about death and loss.
Humor and open conversations can help us navigate through the complex and often difficult emotions associated with grief. Carrie-Ed Lloyd, a comedian, actor, writer, and podcaster, has been using her platform, GriefCast, to discuss death and grief with humor and heart since 2016. Her experiences, including losing her father at a young age, have led her to help others understand and cope with grief in a unique and meaningful way. By inviting funny people to talk about their experiences with loss, GriefCast creates a space for open and honest conversations that can be both uplifting and informative. Lloyd's book, "You're Not Alone, A New Way to Grieve," further explores the lessons she's learned from her podcast. It's important to remember that everyone will experience grief at some point in their lives, and by embracing the topic and having open conversations, we can better understand and support each other through the grieving process.
Cultural approaches to death: Different cultures have unique ways of dealing with death, offering valuable insights and lessons, such as Sweden's reluctance to discuss death versus Ireland and Wales' open and communal approach.
While some cultures, like Sweden, may appear to have a more effective approach to dealing with death, others, such as those in Ireland and Wales, have their own unique ways of processing grief that are rooted in tradition and community. The speaker's experience in Sweden revealed that Swedes find it difficult to discuss death and often avoid the topic altogether. In contrast, Irish and Welsh cultures have a more open and communal approach to death, which includes keeping the body at home, having wakes, and involving the community in the grieving process. The speaker noted that these practices may be seen as outdated or embarrassing in more industrialized, medicalized societies, but they provide comfort and a sense of connection during a difficult time. The takeaway is that there is no one right way to deal with death, and different cultures and communities have their own unique approaches that can offer valuable insights and lessons.
Irish culture and grief: Irish culture's openness to death and strong rituals can provide a unique healing experience, while grief is not linear and moving between emotions is normal.
The way we approach and handle grief and mourning can greatly impact our healing process. The Irish culture, with its openness to death and strong rituals, provides a different experience compared to mostly secular societies like England and Wales. Grief is not linear, and it's essential to remember that sadness can hit at any point, even years after a loss. The stages of grief are not always helpful, as people may move between different emotions. After a funeral, it's common for people to withdraw, but reaching out to the grieving person two weeks later can make a significant difference. The Victorian idea of tidying up grief and moving on quickly is not helpful, and it's essential to keep the conversation about death and the person's life ongoing.
Grief acceptance: Grief is a complex, ongoing experience, not a limiting notion to get over. Embrace carrying it as part of who we are to reduce stigma and heal authentically, with no set timeline.
The concept of "getting over" grief is a limiting and unrealistic notion, rooted in Victorian-era regulations and societal expectations. Grief is a complex, ongoing experience that ebbs and flows throughout one's life. Instead of focusing on getting over it, we should embrace the idea of carrying our grief as a part of who we are. This acceptance can help reduce the stigma surrounding grief and allow individuals to grieve in a healthier and more authentic way. Additionally, everyone's grief journey is unique, and there is no set timeline for healing. It's important to remember that grief is not a sign of weakness, but a natural response to loss.
Grief evolution: Grief is a complex and ongoing process, not a series of neat stages, it's okay to continue growing and changing in your relationship with the person who has passed away.
Grief is a complex and ongoing process, not a series of neat and tidy stages with an endpoint. It's more accurate to think of it as an evolving relationship with the person who has passed away. Some days may be fine, but sadness can return unexpectedly, like a mini earthquake. The goal is not to eliminate the pain, but to learn to live with it. As time passes and we go through various experiences, the intensity of the grief may lessen, but the memory of the person and the feelings associated with their loss remain. It's important to remember that it's okay to continue growing and changing in your relationship with the person who has passed away, and that it's a natural part of the grieving process.
Complexities of Grief: Grief is a natural and ongoing process, accepting it and acknowledging its presence can make it easier to navigate, and context matters, especially for traumatic losses.
Grief is a complex and ongoing process that is part of our relationship with the deceased, and it doesn't have to be a source of agony. Accepting that we don't have to "get over" our grief but rather acknowledge its presence and hold it lightly can make the grieving process easier. The context of our grief matters, and for traumatic losses like suicide, allowing space for the associated emotions is crucial. Reframing sadness as a natural part of life and love can help us navigate the grieving process and honor the memory of the deceased. For those who have lost loved ones at a young age, such as during adolescence, it's important to remember that this is a vulnerable and transitional period of life, and mental health support can be valuable during this time.
Death and Grief in Education: Discussing death and grief in educational settings can help reduce feelings of isolation and misunderstanding among teenagers who have experienced loss.
Everyone experiences grief, and yet it is not commonly discussed or addressed, especially in educational settings. When the speaker lost her father at a young age, she felt isolated and unsure of how to process her emotions. Years later, she started a podcast and wrote a book to share stories and insights about death and grief. She realized that many people have experienced loss and that discussing it openly could help reduce feelings of isolation and misunderstanding. The speaker believes that talking about death and grief in schools could prepare teenagers for this universal experience and help them feel less alone when they encounter it.
Grieving process: Accepting the presence of sadness during grieving process and oscillating between intense emotions and normal activities can help cope with loss effectively.
Understanding the natural process of grieving and accepting the presence of sadness in our lives can help us cope with loss more effectively. Catherine shared her experience of dealing with her father's death and how she learned to open the metaphorical "box" of her grief through therapy. She introduced the concept of the dual process model, which suggests oscillating between the "snot stage" of intense emotions and the restorative phase of engaging in normal activities. By acknowledging and accepting the ebb and flow of these emotions, we can live a fuller life while carrying the memory of our loved ones with us. The avoidance of sadness, on the other hand, can lead to prolonged suffering.
Emotional oscillation during grieving: Allowing yourself to experience a range of emotions, including laughter, during the grieving process is essential for healing, and suppressing these feelings can lead to guilt and suffering.
It's essential to allow yourself to oscillate between different emotions during the grieving process, including moments of laughter. Suppressing these feelings and trying to adhere to societal expectations of how to grieve can lead to unnecessary guilt and suffering. Remember, there's no right or wrong way to grieve, and everyone's experience is unique. Laughter can be a powerful tool for coping with loss and can help us get through even the most challenging times. In part two of this series, we'll explore strategies for dealing with big events that can be particularly difficult during the grieving process. Stay tuned for more insights and stories from those who have been there.