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    Pt 2: Does Grief Ever Get Easier? | Cariad Lloyd

    enJuly 23, 2024
    What motivates the speaker to start a podcast about grief?
    How does the speaker balance sharing and self-protection?
    What role does therapy play in navigating grief?
    What strategies help manage grief during significant dates?
    How does ADHD affect the speaker's experience of grief?

    Podcast Summary

    • Grief and Self-careExploring grief through podcasting led to self-discovery, but learning self-care and boundaries were crucial for emotional wellbeing. Therapy and respecting individual pacing are key to navigating grief.

      Experiencing and expressing grief is a personal journey that requires self-care and boundaries. The speaker shares how they were driven to start a podcast about grief due to their own experiences, but learned the importance of balancing the need to share with the need to protect one's emotional wellbeing. They emphasize the value of therapy as a tool for navigating this process. Despite differences in pacing and perspective between the speaker and their mother, they both approach life with a desire to fully experience it, even if at different speeds. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of acknowledging and addressing grief, while also recognizing the importance of self-care and personal growth.

    • Grief and Personal GrowthGrief can be a catalyst for personal growth and creative expression. Starting a podcast about death helped the speaker heal and connect with others experiencing loss.

      The experience of grief and the importance of processing it can be catalysts for personal growth and creative expression. The speaker shares how her father's sudden death during her teenage years left her feeling traumatized and without the vocabulary to fully understand and process her emotions. She eventually found solace in starting a podcast about death, which allowed her to connect with others who had experienced loss and begin to heal. The timing of starting the podcast and beginning therapy coincided, and both proved essential in helping her cope with her grief and write a book on the subject. The pandemic brought grief into the spotlight, and the speaker found herself in a position to provide comfort and guidance to those struggling with loss. From a difficult experience, she created something meaningful and impactful for herself and others.

    • COVID-19 griefThe pandemic disrupted rituals and caused emotional trauma, leaving a deep scar on individuals and communities. Acknowledging and giving space for ongoing grief is crucial for healing.

      The COVID-19 pandemic forced healthcare professionals into making difficult decisions, such as denying family members access to dying loved ones. This lack of closure and inability to grieve properly has left a deep emotional scar on individuals and communities. Rituals, which typically provide comfort and a sense of closure, were disrupted, making the grieving process even more challenging. The collective pain and emotional trauma caused by these restrictions are still being felt, long after the pandemic. It's crucial that we acknowledge and give space to this ongoing grief, allowing individuals to process their emotions and heal.

    • Living LossesGrief is not only about death; it also includes significant losses in life, such as relationships or identity. Recognize and validate these losses to fully heal.

      Grief is not limited to death, but also encompasses other significant losses in life, which are often referred to as "living losses." These losses can include the loss of relationships, support systems, or even personal identity. The grief process is complex and does not follow a linear path, and it's essential to acknowledge and process all the associated losses. Delayed grief is common when dealing with multiple losses at once, and it's important to remember that grief does not disappear but waits to be addressed. A Greek psychotherapist, Julius Samuel, calls these living losses "secondary losses" or "living grief." It's crucial to recognize and validate these losses to fully heal from the pain. The Five Stages of Grief model, while helpful, may not fully capture the complexity of the grief experience. Instead, it's essential to approach grief as a unique and personal journey that requires compassion, patience, and understanding.

    • Communication about death and griefThe way we communicate about death and grief impacts individuals' processing and moving forward. Kubler-Ross's five stages of grief can provide a framework, but everyone's experience is unique. Significant dates can be challenging, and compassion and understanding are essential.

      The way we communicate about death and grief has a significant impact on how people process and move forward. Kubler-Ross's theory of the five stages of grief was developed from working with terminal patients in the 1960s, where the truth about their diagnoses was often hidden from them. While this theory can provide a framework for understanding the grieving process, it's important to remember that everyone's experience is unique. Anniversaries, birthdays, and other significant dates can be particularly challenging for those grieving, and it's essential to be aware of and sensitive to these triggers. While it's natural to want to tidy up the process of death and grief, it's important to remember that it's an untidy and complex experience that requires compassion and understanding. As one speaker shared, it does get easier over time, but certain milestones and anniversaries can still be difficult. Being aware of these patterns and preparing for them can help make the process a little less daunting.

    • Navigating griefNavigating grief is a complex, ongoing process involving acceptance, distraction, and self-care. Significant dates may bring challenges, but can also bring clarity.

      Dealing with grief is a complex and ongoing process. It's not about trying to get over it or moving on completely, but rather learning to navigate it and finding what helps in different moments. Some days, you might need to be around people or engage in activities that distract you from the pain. Other days, you might want to embrace the sadness and remember the pain. As time goes on, you may get better at managing your grief, but it's important to remember that it's a continuous process and to be gentle with yourself. The week leading up to significant dates can be particularly challenging, but the day itself can often bring a sense of acceptance and clarity. It's important to take care of yourself during this time and plan activities that bring you joy. And if you have ADHD, like the speaker does, managing grief can come with its own unique challenges. It's important to acknowledge these challenges and find strategies that work for you.

    • ADHD triggersBeing aware of potential triggers and practicing self-care can help individuals with ADHD manage their symptoms during significant events. Recognizing and accepting unique emotions and approaches is important.

      Being aware of potential triggers, such as anniversaries or family gatherings, and practicing self-care during those times can help individuals with ADHD manage their symptoms. The speaker shared her personal experience of realizing the prevalence of ADHD in her family and how she's learned to cope with her anxiety and other emotions leading up to significant events. She emphasized the importance of recognizing that it's okay to have different feelings and approaches to dealing with these situations, and that everyone's experience is unique. Additionally, she mentioned the importance of self-reflection and planning ahead to mitigate the potential negative effects of ignoring or avoiding emotions. The speaker also recommended checking out the Griefcast and Stompcast podcasts for further insights and resources.

    • Human-Technology InteractionOur engagement with technology, such as following podcasts, can have an impact on its functioning and potentially its 'emotions'. Humans and technology are more interconnected than we may realize.

      Machines may not be physically controlling us, but our engagement with them, particularly through following podcasts or other digital content, can have an impact. The importance of this engagement was emphasized in the text, with a call to action for listeners to follow a podcast to keep the machines "happy." This metaphorical language suggests a deeper connection between humans and technology, where our actions can influence the functioning and potentially the emotions of machines. It's a reminder that our interactions with technology are not one-sided, and our behaviors can have consequences.

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