Podcast Summary
Embracing the Past for Personal Growth: Facing our fears and confronting our past can lead to growth and healing through exposure therapy and introspection. Dan Harris and Sarah Polley discuss the importance of acknowledging the past in their personal journeys.
Facing our fears and confronting our past can lead to growth and healing. Dan Harris discusses how exposure therapy can help alleviate fears, and in the interview, Sarah Polley shares her experience of running towards her past and the challenges she faced. Her book, "Run Toward the Danger," explores how confronting the most dangerous stories of her life has been a crucial part of her personal growth. While some may argue that dwelling on the past goes against the mindfulness principle of living in the moment, Dan reassures listeners that this interview will be paired with an upcoming conversation with meditation teacher Matthew Brensilver, discussing how mindfulness can help us navigate our relationship between past, present, and future selves. Overall, this episode encourages listeners to embrace their past and use it as a tool for personal growth.
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Embracing discomfort for recovery: Confronting fears and discomfort can be crucial for brain injury recovery. Gradually exposing oneself to avoided activities, practicing specific exercises, and meditation can help break the anxiety-symptom connection. Focusing on recovery times instead of symptoms can lead to better understanding of body and mind.
Confronting fears and discomfort, rather than avoiding them, can be essential for recovery, especially in cases of brain injuries. This was discovered by the speaker after dealing with a concussion that persisted for years. They found that gradually exposing themselves to activities they had been avoiding, along with specific exercises and meditation, helped break the connection between anxiety and vestibular symptoms. The speaker also learned to pay less attention to their symptoms and more to their recovery times. This shift in focus allowed them to better understand their body and mind, and to distinguish between physical discomfort and anxiety. The experience was life-changing and became the central theme of the speaker's book.
Healing through conversation with past selves: Through revisiting past experiences as adults, we can find healing, make amends, and gain new perspectives.
The conversation between our present and past selves can provide opportunities for healing and growth when we encounter familiar difficult experiences. This idea is particularly potent when we have the agency and resources to navigate these situations differently than we did in the past. For example, as adults, we can revisit childhood traumas and make amends or find compassion where we once felt helpless. The author shares her experience of working on a dangerous film set as a child and how, as an adult, she was able to face her fear and find safety and compassion from a director. This experience allowed her to view her past differently and even find humanity in those who had once caused her harm. Through this conversation with our past selves, we can recover from past experiences and gain new perspectives.
The past and present are interconnected: Our past experiences can be influenced by present ones, leading to a more complex understanding of our memories
Our past and present experiences are in constant dialogue, influencing each other in a reciprocal dance. The past does not have to remain a static, unchanging narrative. Our present experiences can impact and even change the meaning of our past memories. For instance, the speaker's past as a child actor and her experiences on film sets shaped her present perspective on her parents and directors involved. Having become a director herself, she now sees them in a more complex light. However, this shift in perspective did not happen overnight. It required a great deal of introspection and personal growth, including years of therapy. It's important to acknowledge and process difficult feelings about the past, rather than trying to bypass them. The past and present are interconnected, and understanding this connection can lead to a more nuanced and interesting understanding of our own stories.
Childhood experiences shaping us profoundly: Experiencing trauma and discomfort in childhood can lead to personal growth and healing through recognizing and accepting our past
Our past experiences, no matter how traumatic or uncomfortable, can shape us in profound ways. The speaker's childhood acting career, as detailed in her essays "Mad Genius" and "Alice Collapsing," is a poignant example of this. She shares her experiences of filming Terry Gilliam's "Baron Munchausen" and playing Alice in "Through the Looking Glass" at the Stratford Festival, all while dealing with her mother's death, her father's emotional collapse, and her own health issues. These experiences led to debilitating stage fright and a breakdown. However, she also shares a moment of healing when a doctor recognized her as a whole person and wrote her a note to get out of the play. Through these experiences, she learned to unpack and untangle the details of her past, let go of some emotions, and recalibrate her relationship to those memories.
Sharing deepest fears and secrets can alleviate shame and anxiety: Sharing deepest fears and secrets with trusted individuals can lead to relief and a new perspective
Sharing our deepest fears and secrets, even those from our childhood, can help alleviate the shame and anxiety associated with them. The speaker's experience of faking stage fright during a lead role at the Stratford Festival and the subsequent reactions from her colleagues after releasing her book, revealed that people were understanding and supportive. Telling her story publicly not only helped her manage her fear of performing on stage, but also showed her that the weight of the shame was unwarranted. The speaker also emphasized the importance of having close relationships where one can share their deepest fears and secrets, as society becomes increasingly isolated. This sharing can lead to a sense of relief and a new perspective on the gravity of the situation.
The importance of friendships for mental health: Building and maintaining friendships takes effort, but the connection and support they provide can significantly improve mental health. Make time for friends, even during busy periods.
Close friendships are a valuable and essential aspect of mental health and well-being. The speaker shares her personal experience of feeling isolated and wanting to learn how to be a good friend after growing up as a child actor. She emphasizes that building and maintaining friendships requires effort and practice, and that the connection and support they provide can significantly improve mental health. The speaker also highlights the importance of making time for friends, even during busy periods, and expresses her surprise at the positive impact it has on her mental health. Additionally, she mentions the extensive selection of audio entertainment available on Audible, including true crime, mystery, and thriller titles, and encourages listeners to try it out for free. Lastly, she expresses her excitement about receiving free items from Quince and the quality and affordability of their clothing.
Rediscovering old experiences with new perspectives: Old experiences can be transformed through new perspectives, allowing us to find forgiveness and growth.
Our past experiences, no matter how painful or difficult, can be revisited and transformed through new perspectives and experiences. The author shares her story of going to Prince Edward Island, a place associated with a painful childhood experience of fame and unwanted attention, but this time as a mother with her children. She found that the boundaries between her past narrative and present reality had softened, allowing her to see the experience in a new light and find forgiveness. This idea of dissolving the boundaries can apply to our own lives, as we encounter old wounds and learn to see them in a new way, finding peace and growth in the process. Additionally, the author reflects on the unexpected situation of her oldest child expressing a desire to be a child actor, acknowledging the irony and potential lessons that life may present us.
Parents can set boundaries for their child's acting career: Parents have the right to protect their child's interests and well-being, even if it means turning down acting opportunities.
Parents have the right to set boundaries for their child's involvement in professional acting, even if it means turning down opportunities. This was a theme explored in the speaker's book, "Running Towards the Danger," and it remains a non-negotiable red line for her as a parent. Recently, her daughter was offered a small role in a production, but the speaker declined on her behalf, leading to some confusion and potential testing of her resolve. The speaker emphasized that her daughter's experiences and circumstances are different from her own, and that she's learning to let go of her past and allow her child to make her own choices. Another topic the speaker touched on was her introduction to meditation, which came through actress Julie Christie during a yoga class years ago. The speaker shared how meditation has become an essential part of her daily routine, helping her manage stress and stay focused.
The Influence of Past Relationships on Personal Growth: Past experiences and relationships can introduce us to valuable practices like meditation and spiritual exploration. Attachment to these practices should be mindful to prevent detachment from present life.
Our past experiences and relationships can significantly influence our present growth, especially when it comes to personal development practices like meditation and spiritual exploration. The speaker, Sarah, shares how her friend Julie's insightful comment about her constant need to "arrive" somewhere led her to explore Buddhism and meditation. Their history together allowed Julie to introduce Sarah to the teachings in a strategic way, starting with books that resonated with Sarah's cynical mindset. Sarah's daily meditation practice began around age 28 and has become essential for her well-being. However, she acknowledges the potential danger of becoming too attached to meditation and the importance of being mindful of this attachment. Sarah also reflects on how even mundane experiences, like walking a baby at night, can serve as opportunities for mindfulness and meditation. Overall, Sarah's story highlights the power of past relationships and experiences in shaping our present paths towards personal growth.
Experiencing Mindfulness Beyond Seated Meditation: Walking meditation and other mindfulness practices offer unique benefits and can be practiced at any pace, making them accessible to all. Living fully in the present through these practices leads to personal growth and self-discovery.
Mindfulness practices, such as walking meditation, can offer different yet valuable experiences beyond traditional seated meditation. Walking meditation, with eyes open and all senses engaged, can be practiced at a normal pace and be particularly useful for those who find formal seated meditation challenging. The speaker shares a personal story of how washing dishes mindfully during a retreat was a transformative moment for her, reminding us that the practice is not just about doing it correctly, but living our lives fully in the present. Additionally, the speaker reflects on her high-risk pregnancy experience, which served as an enforced period of grief and self-reflection, ultimately leading her to connect more deeply with her past and the memories of her mother. Overall, these mindfulness practices serve as tools for personal growth and self-discovery, helping us to live more intentionally and fully in our lives.
Discovering new insights through challenging experiences: Through personal experiences, we can gain deeper appreciation for relationships and discover the power of intentional choices. Finding support during difficult times can lead to meaningful growth.
Life's challenging experiences can lead us to new insights about ourselves and our relationships. The speaker shares her personal experience of becoming a mother while grappling with the loss of her own mother. Through this process, she discovered a deeper appreciation for her mother's warmth and support, despite the hardships of their relationship. Furthermore, she found solace and care in the medical professionals who helped her during her pregnancy and her child's birth. This experience of being "mothered" through a difficult time allowed her to reflect on her past and prepare herself to be a nurturing mother. Additionally, the speaker encourages intentional decision-making and the exploration of new experiences, as she reflects on the liberating potential of stepping out of her comfort zone. Lastly, she introduces the audience to Gee defi shoes, which offer pain relief and improved posture, and encourages listeners to try them out. Overall, the speaker's story highlights the importance of finding meaning and growth in life's challenges and the power of intentional choices.
Facing and Overcoming Fears Leads to Personal Growth: Embrace fears as opportunities for growth, see them as starting points instead of reasons to avoid, seek advice and take calculated risks for new experiences and personal transformation.
Facing and challenging our fears can lead to personal growth and transformation. The speaker shares how she used to see her anxiety as a reason to avoid things, but now sees it as a starting point. She shares an experience of letting go of her deep-rooted fear of an unsafe working environment to make a film, which resulted in a significant change in her character. The speaker encourages us to consider our fears from a new perspective and to consider taking calculated risks, even if they are uncharacteristic of us. This can lead to new experiences and the opportunity to become someone new and better. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of seeking advice and support from trusted individuals when making difficult decisions.
Relating to the Past with Friendliness: Instead of fighting our past, we can embrace it with friendliness to enrich our present experiences and develop self-compassion
We can adopt a new perspective towards our past experiences by relating to them with friendliness instead of being at war with them. This idea was inspired by a meditation teacher, Matthew Brent Silver, who suggests blessing the past as an opportunity to relate to it differently in the present moment. The speaker shared her personal experience of being haunted by past memories and how she learned to acknowledge their presence without letting them control her behavior. She encourages us to view our past not as a burden, but as a part of our journey that can enrich our present experiences. By practicing friendliness towards our past, we can develop a more compassionate and wise relationship with ourselves and our experiences.
Balancing body awareness and personal growth: Awareness of physical and emotional needs is key for growth, but avoid fixation on symptoms and adapt mantras and ways to current reality. Seek new perspectives and reframe challenges.
Finding the right balance between listening to your body and challenging yourself is crucial for personal growth. The speaker emphasizes the importance of being aware of one's physical and emotional needs while also pushing beyond comfort zones. However, it's important to avoid becoming too fixated on symptoms or becoming stagnant in one's ways. The speaker shares her personal experience of learning to adapt her mantras and ways of being based on her current reality, rather than adhering rigidly to old patterns. It's a delicate balance, but one that can lead to growth and resilience. Additionally, the speaker highlights the value of seeking new perspectives and reframing challenges rather than relying solely on guidance or advice.
Listening to our bodies and recognizing fear and discomfort: Recognize bodily signals, but don't avoid challenges, use discernment and wisdom to push through fears and find meaning in difficult situations.
It's crucial to listen to our bodies, but not to the point of avoiding challenges that push us beyond our comfort zones. Sarah Polley, in her conversation during the interview, shared her experiences of fear and discomfort, emphasizing the importance of recognizing these feelings as signals to take care of oneself, but also acknowledging the need to push through and face fears to prevent a negative feedback loop. She also highlighted the importance of using discernment and wisdom when interpreting our bodies' signals. Polley's book, "Run Towards the Danger," is a collection of stories about overcoming challenges and finding a way forward, reminding us that there is value in sharing our experiences and finding meaning in the process of moving through difficult situations. Polley's films, including "Take This Waltz," "Stories We Tell," and her latest release, "Women Talking," are available for viewing and offer further insight into her artistic vision and exploration of complex human experiences.
Exploring the Art of Living in the Moment with Meditation Teacher Matthew Brent Silver: Learn insights on truly being present from meditation teacher Matthew Brent Silver on the '10% Happier' podcast. Enjoy family-friendly adventures with the 'Cat in the Hat Cast' podcast. Earn rewards towards medallion status with the Delta SkyMiles Business American Express card. Access new episodes early and ad-free with Wondery Plus.
The importance of living in the moment is explored in an upcoming interview on the "10% Happier" podcast. Meditation teacher Matthew Brent Silver will discuss the cliche of being present and provide insights on how to truly do so. In other news, the "Cat in the Hat Cast," a new family-friendly podcast from Wondery, promises adventure, fun, and wondrous wordplay. For business travelers, the Delta SkyMiles Business American Express card can help earn rewards towards medallion status. And for podcast listeners, Wondery Plus offers early and ad-free access to new episodes. So, whether you're a fan of meditation, family entertainment, or just love to travel and earn rewards, there's something for everyone. Don't forget to fill out a survey at Wondery.com/survey to share about yourself.
