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    Should you be friends with your ex?

    en-usMay 23, 2024

    Podcast Summary

    • Navigating friendships with exesConsider your readiness for friendship after a breakup and choose a friendship type that suits both parties.

      Car insurance can be customized to fit your budget with Progressive's name your price tool. Meanwhile, in personal relationships, the end of a romantic connection can feel devastating and lead people to try and maintain friendships as a way to lessen the loss. However, navigating a friendship with an ex can be complex and may not be right for everyone. In today's episode of Life Kit, journalist Ruth Tam provides guidelines for determining whether to pursue a friendship with an ex and what kind of friendship might be best for both parties. And if you're still feeling down after a breakup, it might be a sign that you're not ready for friendship yet. On the practical side, Progressive Insurance could help you save an average of $750 on car insurance by switching. For those facing outdoor challenges or harsh weather conditions, the Defender family of vehicles offers legendary capability. Lastly, Slack can help streamline your workday and grow your business by keeping your team connected.

    • Maintaining Connections with Ex-PartnersEx-partners can provide valuable insights and understanding, leading to meaningful friendships and advice for future relationships. However, it's crucial to consider the definition of an ex, the length and nature of the relationship, and how it ended before pursuing such connections.

      It's possible to maintain meaningful connections with ex-partners, even after a romantic relationship has ended. This idea was explored in the podcast discussion, where Victoria Harding shared her experience of building friendships with people she had dated or hooked up with, and seeking their advice when she was ready for a serious relationship. This approach can provide valuable insights and understanding, especially when it comes to navigating the complexities of dating and relationships. However, it's important to remember that not all ex-partners may be suitable for this kind of connection, and it's essential to consider factors like the definition of an ex, the length and nature of the relationship, and how it ended. Overall, the discussion highlights the importance of open communication, seeking advice from trusted sources, and the potential for continued growth and connection, even after a romantic relationship has ended.

    • Maintaining a relationship with an ex-partner: Friendship or Beyond?Consider motivations and assess healthiness before pursuing a platonic friendship with an ex-partner.

      Maintaining a relationship with an ex-partner doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can develop a platonic friendship if it's authentic and beneficial for both parties. But before considering such a connection, ask yourself why you want to maintain a connection with your ex. Reflect on whether you would be friends with them outside of the relationship, and consider the intentions behind your desire to stay in touch. It's essential to be honest with yourself about your motivations. If you were genuinely good friends before or during the relationship, or if you share children or a mutual friend group, friendly acquaintanceship might be a viable option. However, it's crucial to assess whether you're in a healthy place to be in contact with your ex, as rekindling a friendship too soon might hinder your personal growth and emotional healing.

    • Transitioning from romance to friendship with an exHonesty, forgiveness, and clear communication are crucial for maintaining a healthy friendship with an ex, based on mutual respect and understanding.

      Authentic friendship with an ex cannot be built on hidden agendas or unresolved feelings. Psychologist Marissa Franco explains that maintaining such a friendship requires forgiveness, mutual respect, and clear communication about desired levels of intimacy. It's essential to understand what you want from the relationship and be honest with yourself and your ex about your intentions. Transitioning from a romantic to a platonic connection can be challenging, but it's important to remember that neither is superior to the other. Instead, focus on building a healthy and respectful friendship based on mutual understanding and growth. Ultimately, the key to successful post-breakup friendships lies in honesty, forgiveness, and clear communication.

    • Understanding Intimacy Levels Post-BreakupConsider emotional self-awareness, friendship benefits, taking time to figure out emotions, starting with no contact, and reevaluating feelings as situations change.

      Determining the right level of connection with an ex requires emotional self-awareness and an understanding of the nature of your current relationship. Intimacy levels don't have to be the same post-breakup as they were during your romantic relationship. In fact, some people might find that friendship works better for them due to the benefits of having space. It's okay not to have all the answers right now, and taking time to figure out your emotions is a valid option. If you're considering being friends with a serious ex, it might be wise to start with no contact. Pay attention to your physical reactions to their presence or communication as well, as they could indicate the need for more space. Emotional and physical responses can change over time, and it's essential to remember that situations are dynamic and subject to growth. If romantic feelings resurface, consider asking yourself what has changed.

    • Navigating a relationship with an exConsider reasons for rekindling, remember you don't have to be friends, communicate effectively, and take time for reflection before pursuing a platonic relationship.

      When considering getting back with an ex, it's essential to have a clear reason why things might go better this time around. While there can be legitimate reasons such as being in the same city or personal growth, research suggests that relationships with exes have a lower likelihood of success compared to new relationships. After taking time for reflection, it's important to remember that you don't have to be friends with an ex, and the level of closeness is up to you. The new relationship should add to your life, not drain from it. When considering a platonic dynamic with an ex, ask yourself why you want to stay in touch, if you're in a healthy place to do so, and what you want the new relationship to look like. Communication and consideration are key to navigating the dynamic after a breakup. Remember, it takes at least two people to maintain a healthy post-breakup relationship. Exes can indeed support each other, as shown by journalist Ruth Tam's experience with her board of directors group chat of exes. So, if you're going through a breakup or trying to navigate a platonic relationship with an ex, take the time to reflect and communicate effectively.

    • Effective hiring and wise investmentsBusinesses can use Indeed for passive hiring and real estate investments can offer attractive returns, but it's important to understand the risks and objectives beforehand.

      Hiring effectively and investing wisely are key to personal and business growth. Instead of actively searching for candidates, businesses can use Indeed to match with the best talent. Meanwhile, real estate investments can offer attractive returns during times of high interest rates. The Fundrise flagship fund, for instance, plans to expand its portfolio. However, it's crucial to understand the investment objectives, risks, charges, and expenses before investing. On a personal level, poet laureate Ada Limon encourages self-compassion and forgiveness, especially as we age. In our mid to late forties, she suggests, we can learn to extend grace to ourselves. This theme is explored further in NPR's new podcast, Wild Card, where cards control the conversation.

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