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    THE PARADOX OF THE PICK-ME

    enAugust 09, 2024
    What does the term 'pick me' woman mean?
    How does societal expectation affect women's self-worth?
    Why is it important for women to know their value?
    What are some consequences of being overly needy in relationships?
    How can women maintain independence while dating?

    Podcast Summary

    • Pick me womenWomen should understand their worth beyond being chosen by men and strive for healthy, equal relationships, while empathizing with those who feel the need to conform for fear of being alone.

      The concept of the "pick me" woman refers to a woman who feels the need to be chosen or validated by men, often going to great lengths to conform to societal expectations and pleasing men at the expense of her own self-worth. This dynamic, which can be linked to patriarchal ideologies and religious beliefs, can leave women feeling lonely and unfulfilled despite their efforts. It's important to empathize with these women, as they may not be acting from a malicious place but rather from a desire to be loved and a fear of being alone. However, it's crucial for women to understand their worth and value beyond being chosen by a man and to strive for healthy, equal relationships. Unfortunately, the paradox is that the women who embody strength and self-assurance are often the ones who get picked, leaving "pick me" women feeling even more invisible and undesirable.

    • Value of being hard to getWomen who don't prioritize being 'picked' by men and instead value their own time and self-worth often attract them due to the thrill of the chase and men's desire for control.

      Women who don't prioritize being "picked" by men are often the ones who ultimately attract them. The speaker argues that men value control and the thrill of the chase, and women who willingly offer themselves are not as appealing. The speaker uses the analogy of hunting to explain this dynamic. She also emphasizes the importance of women valuing their own time and self-worth, rather than trying to conform to societal expectations or be overly submissive. The speaker encourages women to believe in their own worth and not fall into the trap of being a "pick me" woman.

    • Self-respect and self-worthWomen should prioritize their own growth and self-worth over trying to attract men through self-deprecation or excessive compliance. Small steps towards self-improvement, like learning a new language, can help build confidence and assertiveness.

      Women deserve respect and should value themselves, rather than trying to attract men through self-deprecation or excessive compliance. The speaker expresses concern for those who make themselves easy targets for manipulation and encourages women to focus on their own growth and self-worth. She also invites listeners to attend her live show, where they can learn more about dismantling patriarchy and dominating men in a hilarious and educational way. For those looking to break free from being a "pick me" woman, the speaker suggests taking small steps every day towards self-improvement and learning a new language, like with the Babble app, can be a helpful tool in this journey. Ultimately, the goal is to become a confident and self-assured woman who knows her worth and isn't afraid to speak up for herself.

    • Language and power in romantic situationsUsing phrases like 'you're not really my type' can help women maintain power and confidence in romantic situations, while learning a new language with Babbel can improve conversational skills and boost self-confidence in just 10 minutes a day

      Language plays a significant role in our interactions with others, especially in romantic situations. Gabrielle Stone, the host of FML Talk, shared her experience on how using certain phrases can help a woman maintain power and confidence when dealing with men. She suggested using the phrase "you're not really my type" to keep men on their toes and make them question their assumptions. This phrase, according to Gabrielle, is a form of reverse psychology that can help a woman stand out and create intrigue. Moreover, Babbel, the language learning app, was introduced as a helpful tool for those who want to learn a new language and improve their conversational skills. With personalized learning content, real-time feedback, and tracking, Babbel can help learners stay focused and motivated. Only 10 minutes a day is required to learn vocabulary words and gain confidence in having real-world conversations. So, whether you're looking to learn a new language or want to enhance your communication skills in romantic situations, remember that language is a powerful tool that can help you connect with others and express yourself confidently.

    • Interacting with menAvoid coming across as desperate or needy, be playful and enjoy the process, pace yourself in relationships, and remember your worth and independence.

      When interacting with men, it's important not to come across as overly desperate or needy, as this can be a turnoff. Instead, be playful and enjoy the process, while also maintaining a sense of self-worth and independence. Another key point is the importance of pacing yourself in relationships and not jumping in too quickly, as this can lead to being blinded to red flags and potentially falling into abusive situations. Ultimately, it's crucial to remember that you are in control of your own worth and value, and should not let men define you or dictate your actions.

    • Self-respect in relationshipsSetting standards and valuing oneself is crucial for fulfilling relationships, rather than settling for less or exhibiting 'pick me' behavior.

      It's important for individuals, particularly women, to value themselves and set standards in relationships instead of settling for less. The concept of "pick me" behavior, where one tries too hard to please a potential partner, can lead to unfulfilling relationships for both parties. Instead, one should focus on maintaining self-respect and expecting the same from their partners. This includes setting boundaries, prioritizing personal goals, and ensuring that the relationship is mutually beneficial. It's not an easy shift, but believing in one's worth and taking control of one's life is crucial for personal growth and happiness.

    • Patreon for exclusive contentJoining Gabrielle Stone's Patreon for £10 a month grants access to bonus podcast episodes, voting power, and a free guide, providing a deeper connection to her and other listeners.

      Gabrielle Stone offers exclusive content through her Patreon page for £10 a month, which includes access to bonus podcast episodes, voting power, and a free guide called the Dilemma Manual. Her Patreon has a one-tiered system, making it simple and accessible for her audience. She also hosts a weekly podcast, FML Talk, where she provides a safe space for listeners to heal from love, heartbreak, trauma, and healing, with a few F-bombs thrown in for good measure. If you can't make it to her live show, joining her Patreon is another way to connect with her and other disobedient women.

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