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    The Science Behind Sexual Attraction

    enMay 24, 2024

    Podcast Summary

    • Studies show we're attracted to faces that resemble ours and sex and romance can be decoupled.Understand personal turn-ons, decouple sex and romance, and maintain gut health for better relationships and sexual satisfaction using Just Thrive probiotic.

      Our attraction to certain people may be influenced by their resemblance to us, as shown in a study where participants found digitally morphed faces of their own sex to be more attractive than others. Additionally, sex and romance can be decoupled, as one can desire sexual intimacy without romantic feelings, or vice versa. Understanding your personal turn-ons and the breakdown between sex and romance can help make relationships more adventurous. Another important topic discussed was the connection between gut health and sexual health, emphasizing the significance of maintaining a healthy gut for overall well-being and happiness, including sexual satisfaction. The use of Just Thrive probiotic, which survives stomach acid and reaches the gut alive, was suggested as a tool to support gut health and improve sexual health.

    • Understanding the Complexity of Sexual AttractionSexual attraction is fluid, complex, and not limited to labels or preconceived notions. Approach sex as an adventure and embrace the mysterious nature of desire for deeper connections.

      Sexual attraction is a complex and fluid aspect of human connection, and it's important to remember that our desires and attractions can evolve over time. Sexual attraction isn't limited to any specific identity or label, and it's normal to feel sexually drawn to people who don't fit neatly into our preconceived notions of who we're attracted to. Furthermore, it's essential to approach sex as an adventure and a form of play, rather than a source of pressure or confusion. Our desire habits are a mix of various factors, including our experiences, our environment, and our natural inclinations. By keeping an open mind and embracing the mysterious and exciting nature of sexual attraction, we can broaden our horizons and deepen our connections with others. Additionally, the speaker offered a deal for listeners to save 20% off-site wide at Thrive Health with the promo code "sex with Emily." This probiotic, which is making waves in the wellness community, can be a helpful addition to one's health routine.

    • Factors influencing attractionAttraction is influenced by physical, emotional, and situational factors, including sexual and romantic attraction, resemblance to family, and physical state. Attraction is a multisensory process and can be impacted by menstrual cycles and birth control pills.

      Attraction is a complex mix of physical, emotional, and situational factors. Sexual attraction is just one aspect, and it doesn't necessarily lead to romantic feelings or the desire to bring someone home to meet the family. Romantic attraction, on the other hand, can exist without sexual attraction and is often a sign of affection, safety, and emotional connection. We're also attracted to people who look like us and those who remind us of our parents. Our physical state, such as being aroused from exercise or alcohol consumption, can also influence who we find attractive. Attraction is a multisensory process, and our menstrual cycles and birth control pills can also impact who we're drawn to.

    • Exploring Your Sexuality: Trust Your Instincts and ExperiencesTrust your instincts, communicate openly, and explore your desires with confidence. Consult a doctor before getting off birth control pills to determine if a relationship is right for you.

      Exploring your sexuality is a personal journey, and it's important to trust your instincts and experiences. Dr. Emily emphasized that labels aren't necessary, and the key is to feel confident in your desires and to start exploring them. Mara, a listener, shared her confusion about her attraction to women and identified as straight. Dr. Emily advised her to date women and see what happens, rather than worrying about labels. Another listener, Sarah, was concerned about a lack of physical contact in her relationship. Dr. Emily suggested that she communicate her needs to her partner and ask him about his perception of physical contact. She also emphasized that everyone has different comfort levels and that it's important to respect each other's boundaries while also expressing your own needs. Additionally, Dr. Emily mentioned that patterns of sexual attraction can change seasonally, and that it's important to consult a doctor before getting off birth control pills to determine if a relationship is right for you. Overall, the key takeaway is to trust your instincts, communicate openly, and explore your desires with confidence.

    • Having an open conversation about relationship expectations and needsCommunicate early on about expectations, desires, and priorities in a relationship to build a strong foundation.

      Having an open and honest conversation about the relationship's direction and needs is essential, even after just two months of dating. It's important to understand each other's expectations and desires to build a strong foundation for the future. Physical touch is a crucial aspect of relationships for many, and if it's a priority, it's important to address it early on. Having a conversation about your feelings and needs doesn't equate to being needy or demanding. Instead, it's about defining roles and figuring out whether you're both on the same page. Remember, communication is key to a successful relationship.

    • Communication is key in navigating sexual differencesUnderstand each other's needs, work together to find solutions, and consider therapy for improved communication and sexual relationship.

      Open and honest communication is key in navigating sexual differences and disagreements in a relationship. Olivia's story highlights the importance of having conversations about sexual needs and desires outside the bedroom, especially when facing challenges such as medication side effects and differing sexual preferences. It's important for both partners to understand each other's needs and work together to find solutions. Therapy can be a helpful resource for couples looking to improve their sexual relationship and overall communication. Remember, it's not just about the sex, but also about understanding each other's emotional and mental health journeys.

    • Seeking professional help for sexual mismatchesCommunicate openly with your partner and consider therapy to understand unique desires and needs, enhancing intimacy and sexual experiences.

      Effective communication and seeking professional help are crucial when dealing with sexual mismatches in relationships. A therapist can assist in understanding each partner's unique desires and needs, helping to improve overall communication and intimacy. Becoming more dominant or submissive in the bedroom is a practice that requires open conversation and exploration between partners. Remember, these conversations can be enjoyable and lead to enhanced sexual experiences for both parties. If you find yourself struggling to align sexually with your partner, consider seeking professional help to untangle any underlying issues and strengthen your relationship.

    • Understanding and addressing sexual issues in long-term relationshipsEffective communication and effort from both partners are crucial for maintaining a satisfying sexual relationship in a long-term partnership. Discussing each other's needs and desires, and seeking help from couples therapy when necessary, can help resolve sexual issues and strengthen the bond between partners.

      Communication and effort are key in maintaining a satisfying sexual relationship within a long-term partnership. In the discussed situation, Ryan expressed feeling rejected and undesired by his wife, leading him to consider giving up. However, it was suggested that both partners need to understand each other's needs and desires, and work together to find solutions. Ryan has been taking the initiative in discussing the issue and trying to introduce new elements to their sex life, but it's important for his wife to also communicate her feelings and needs. Couples therapy can be a valuable resource for couples facing similar issues, as it provides a safe and neutral space for both partners to openly discuss their concerns and work towards finding solutions together. It's important to remember that the absence of sex or intimacy can lead to feelings of disconnection and dissatisfaction, and that both partners have a role to play in maintaining a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship.

    • A safe space for difficult conversations and conflict mediationTherapy helps couples rekindle the spark in their relationship by providing a safe space for difficult conversations and mediating conflicts.

      Therapy can be a valuable tool for couples facing relationship challenges, especially when they feel stuck and unable to move forward on their own. Therapy provides a safe space for difficult conversations and can help mediate conflicts, making it an essential resource for couples seeking to rekindle the spark in their relationship. It's important to remember that change and challenges are natural in long-term relationships, and seeking help is a sign of strength rather than a sign of weakness. Additionally, it's common for couples to experience a decline in sexual desire over time due to various factors such as stress and career changes. However, with the help of a therapist, couples can learn new ways to communicate, reconnect, and reignite the passion in their relationship.

    • Reviving Intimacy: A Growth Mindset and Open CommunicationTo reignite a sexual relationship, embrace a growth mindset, communicate openly about desires and needs, and consider the benefits of separation for reflection and renewal.

      Rekindling the spark in a sexual relationship requires both partners to have a growth mindset and be willing to communicate openly about their desires and needs. It's essential to have conversations about turn-ons, arousal patterns, and what makes sex memorable for both individuals. Separation, whether physical or emotional, can also help bring back desire. Start by having an honest conversation with your partner about your longing for intimacy and your commitment to improving your sex life together. Remember to listen actively and approach the conversation with curiosity. For more resources and guidance, check out Sex with Emily's website and podcast episodes on rekindling the spark.

    • Connect with Sex Educator Emily NagoskiFollow Emily Nagoski on social media, sign up for her email list, access free resources, and seek personalized advice on sex, dating, or relationships.

      Emily Nagoski, a sex educator, invites you to connect with her on various social media platforms, including Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter, and Facebook, all under the handle "Sex with Emily." Additionally, she encourages signing up for her email list on her website, sexwithemily.com, where you can access free guides and articles to prioritize your pleasure. For more personalized advice on sex, dating, or relationships, call her hotline at 559-TALK-SEX or visit sexwithemily.com/askemily. Don't forget to share your thoughts and feedback at feedback@sexwithemily.com.

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