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    The Science of Break-Ups

    enFebruary 26, 2019
    What benefits does the Capital One Venture X Card offer?
    How do Kroger brand products stand out in the market?
    What trends are influencing breakup rates according to the research?
    What strategies can help process emotional responses after a breakup?
    Who are the special guests on the How-To-Money podcast?

    Podcast Summary

    • Capital One Venture X Card and Kroger Brand Products Offer Everyday AdvantagesThe Capital One Venture X Card provides unlimited 2X miles on every purchase and premium travel benefits, while Kroger brand products offer proven quality at affordable prices.

      The Capital One Venture X Card offers unlimited 2X miles on every purchase and premium travel benefits, while Kroger brand products provide proven quality at affordable prices. Elsewhere, the topic of breakups was explored, revealing an abundance of research on the subject, primarily focusing on heterosexual, married couples in the mid-2000s. The study suggested that more people are breaking up due to the trend of delaying marriage. The Capital One Venture X Card and Kroger brand products offer distinct advantages in their respective domains, making everyday purchases rewarding and affordable. Meanwhile, the science of breakups continues to evolve, providing insights into the emotional experiences of those going through the process.

    • Breakups during Holidays and Spring BreakBreakups can be unexpected, especially during holiday seasons and spring break. The person initiating has had time to process feelings, while the other is caught off guard. Difficult for the person dumped, but can lead to growth and new opportunities.

      While breakups can happen at any time, there are spikes during holiday seasons and spring break. The person initiating the breakup has had time to process their feelings, while the other person is often caught off guard. The aftermath of a breakup is typically more difficult for the person who is dumped, as they are just beginning their process of grief. It's important to note that not everyone experiences a breakup in their lifetime, and those who don't may have found their perfect match early on or chosen to live alone. However, it's also possible that some people who have been dumped were aware of the issues in their relationship but didn't have the courage to end it themselves. Ultimately, breakups can be a challenging experience, but they can also lead to growth and new opportunities.

    • People break up relationships during specific times for various reasonsSome prefer to avoid holiday pressure, while younger generations opt for tech-assisted methods. Reasons for ending relationships vary, including overwhelming holiday expectations and data safety concerns on social media platforms.

      People often choose to end relationships during specific times, such as Christmas and spring break, due to various reasons. Some may find the holiday pressure of gifts and connection overwhelming if they're not feeling the relationship. Others might prefer to spare their significant other the stress of getting the perfect gift. Regarding breaking up methods, while older generations tend to do it in person, younger generations are more likely to use technology like text or email. The discussion also introduced Zigazoo, a social media platform designed for kids, which prioritizes data safety and has moderated content.

    • Understanding Breakups and Squarespace's Fluid EngineSquarespace's Fluid Engine enables customizable website designs and merchandise sales. Breakups bring emotional challenges, but time heals. Everyone experiences differently, and healing can be accelerated.

      Squarespace's Fluid Engine offers an intuitive and flexible website design system, allowing users to customize templates and sell merchandise easily. Simultaneously, it's essential to acknowledge that breakups can lead to various emotional challenges, including depression and anxiety, which can last for weeks. Women often present a list of grievances during breakups, while men might express their reasons more vaguely. Despite the stereotypes, everyone experiences the emotional turmoil differently, and time is the primary healer. However, there are ways to accelerate the healing process, which we will discuss later. Squarespace's Fluid Engine empowers users to create unique websites, while understanding the complexities of breakups and their emotional impact is crucial.

    • Attachment styles impact breakups equally for all gendersStudy shows emotional pain of breakups can be as intense as physical injury, and attachment styles, not gender, are key to healing

      Our attachment styles in relationships, not gender, play a significant role in how we navigate and recover from breakups. The study from Einstein College of Medicine provides evidence for this, showing that looking at a photograph of an ex-partner activates areas of the brain associated with physical discomfort, indicating the emotional pain of a breakup can be as real and intense as physical injury. Additionally, the idea that women initiate more divorces and recover faster is not definitively true, as there may be underlying factors like systematic abuse or other complexities involved. Ultimately, understanding and addressing our attachment styles can be a more productive way to approach and heal from the end of a relationship.

    • Social media pictures of ex-partners can trigger complex emotionsLooking at ex-partner's pics on social media can prolong healing process and keep individuals fixated on the past, but it may also serve as a backstop for breakups.

      Looking at pictures of an ex-partner on social media can trigger a complex emotional response, activating the same brain areas associated with addiction and pleasure, leading to a mental cycle of sadness and longing. This process can prolong the healing process and keep individuals fixated on the past, rather than moving forward. The evolutionary perspective suggests that this mental cycle may serve as a backstop or fail-safe for breakups, keeping individuals connected to past relationships and preventing them from seeking new mates. However, it can also hinder the healing process and prevent individuals from fully moving on.

    • Brain chemistry and social media reactions, scripts in relationships, safer social media for kids, and automated investing with BettermentOur brain chemistry influences our social media reactions, relationships have patterns called scripts, kids can interact safely on Zigazoo, and Betterment automates investing for relaxation

      Our reactions to social media, such as getting angry after seeing a provocative image, are influenced by our brain chemistry. However, with time, these reactions become less intense. If we get back together with someone after a breakup, it's essential to accept them for who they are and not expect significant changes, or we may fall back into the same conflicts. This concept is known as scripts in psychology. Additionally, social media platforms like Zigazoo can provide a safer environment for kids to interact and share content without the negative aspects of traditional social media. Lastly, Betterment is an automated investing and savings app that allows your money to work for you while you relax and enjoy your free time.

    • Betterment's efficient investing and savings appBetterment helps manage finances effectively through automated investing and tax optimization, while research shows that time, marriage, and self-identity are crucial factors in successful relationships.

      Your money is managed efficiently and effectively through Betterment's automated investing and savings app, which diversifies your investments in low-cost ETFs and optimizes tax strategies. This allows you to focus on other aspects of your life. Meanwhile, in a different conversation, research suggests that time and marriage are significant factors in the longevity of relationships, with married hetero and same-sex couples having a lower risk of breakup over time compared to unmarried couples. However, the chance of breakup for unmarried couples remains relatively high until around 30 or 40 years, after which it starts to decrease. The key to moving on from a breakup, according to the study, is regaining a sense of self that can get lost in a relationship. Overall, whether managing your finances or relationships, the importance of time, efficiency, and self-identity cannot be overstated.

    • The Impact of Personal Growth on Breakup DifficultyPeople who grew the most during a relationship may find breakups more challenging due to deep attachment. Contrarily, those with minimal growth may find breakups easier due to independence. Study shows breakups are often less painful than anticipated.

      The amount of personal growth experienced during a relationship can significantly impact the difficulty of a breakup. Those who grew the most during a relationship may find the breakup to be more challenging, as the attachment to their former partner is deeply intertwined with their own personal development. Conversely, those who did not experience significant growth during the relationship may find the breakup to be easier, as their sense of self remains largely independent from their former partner. A study conducted at Northwestern University in 2000 found that people overestimated the anticipated pain of a breakup, but the actual experience was often less severe. Overall, the relationship between personal growth and breakup difficulty is complex, but understanding this dynamic can help individuals better navigate the emotional landscape of a relationship's end.

    • Perceiving and coping with relationship rejectionDeep love can ease relationship endings, but excessive self-blame is harmful. Focus on growth, communication, and avoiding social media can lead to 'stress-related growth' and better future relationships.

      The way we perceive and handle rejection in relationships can greatly impact our sense of self and future relationships. Surprisingly, being deeply in love can make the end of a relationship easier to cope with, as long as we don't blame ourselves excessively. Sociopathic behavior, such as dismissing the breakup as the other person's fault, can be a form of unhealthy coping mechanism. Instead, focusing on personal growth and communication skills can lead to "stress-related growth" and better future relationships. Avoiding social media and not creating mysteries about the breakup are also important steps in moving on. Overall, it's essential to avoid being a fatalist and to evaluate the validity of the criticism from our exes before internalizing it too deeply.

    • Focus on positive distractions and reclaim joyful activitiesDistract yourself from negative thoughts, reconnect with friends, and reclaim activities that brought joy before the relationship to effectively decrease emotional response to reminders of a past relationship.

      During the process of getting over a breakup, it's important to avoid dwelling on negative thoughts about your ex and focus on positive distractions. This can help reduce emotional response to reminders of your past relationship. Another key step is identifying compromises you don't want to make again and reclaiming activities that brought you joy before the relationship. Additionally, removing reminders of your ex and reconnecting with friends can aid in the healing process. According to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, strategies like distraction and reappraising your ex in a positive light have been shown to effectively decrease emotional response to reminders of the relationship.

    • Expressing emotions through writing or music can aid in healingWriting uncensored letters or listening to sad songs can help process emotions and hasten the healing process

      While engaging in activities like watching a funny movie or eating ice cream after a breakup may provide temporary comfort, they don't have a lasting impact on the healing process. Instead, writing an uncensored letter to the person you're upset with, or listening to sad songs to confront and express emotions, can help hasten recovery. Sad songs serve as a "capsule of emotion" that forces us to confront and process our feelings, ultimately helping us move on faster. Additionally, the hosts had a special guest appearance from Joel and Matt from the How-To-Money podcast, discussing financial topics.

    • Demystifying Money through Conversational PodcastThe SYSK podcast makes financial topics accessible and approachable, empowering listeners to take control of their finances and increase happiness and freedom from debt.

      The SYSK podcast, which covers money-related topics in a conversational and approachable way, serves as a public service by demystifying financial topics and encouraging conversation around personal finance. The hosts, who are genuinely interested in the subject matter, make it accessible to listeners, many of whom might otherwise shy away due to fear or perceived boredom. The podcast's casual and humanizing approach, which includes drinking a beer during recordings, helps normalize discussions about money and empowers listeners to take control of their financial lives, leading to increased happiness and freedom from debt.

    • Living in the Moment and Planning for the FutureBalance enjoyment of life now with saving for future, don't miss out on experiences, demystify finance, and make it accessible through community engagement

      The How to Money podcast emphasizes the importance of balancing enjoyment of life now with saving for the future. The hosts believe that denying oneself enjoyment in the present can lead to regret and missing out on experiences. They use beer as an example, as they enjoy and feature various beers on their show to illustrate the idea of living in the moment while still being financially responsible. The podcast also aims to demystify finance and make it interesting and accessible to those who may find it intimidating or boring. The community aspect of the show, with its active Facebook group and helpful listeners, adds to its appeal and effectiveness as a financial education tool.

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