Thriving in the Modern Marriage

Leah Hadley, an experienced mediator, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, and Accredited Financial Counselor, is committed to providing compassionate financial guidance through life transitions. She will tell you she's had many challenging financial times in her adult life–adopting a sibling group of three, getting divorced, and building a business from the ground up to name a few. These have been times when her ability to hunt down appropriate resources and careful financial planning was critical to her peace of mind.

A former investment analyst and sought-after speaker, Leah is the founder of Intentional Divorce Solutions and Intentional Wealth Partners. Leah uses her knowledge and more than 15 years of experience to help her clients make intentional financial decisions.

Show Notes

00:00: Introduction
01:00: What is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst?
02:06: Do you work with one spouse going through a divorce or both spouses?
06:08: What is the difference between folks who come in as couples to work through the process together versus those who come in individually?
08:23: Why do you believe divorce rates are so high?
10:10: Have you noticed a trend of certain problems that have built up beyond repair, that could have been prevented early on? If so, what are they?
17:37: How much of your practice is based on the stress and problems caused by money?
20:03: What advice do you have for spouses who want to address common issues early in a marriage to prevent them from snowballing out of control?
24:14 What are women thinking that they are not saying to husbands?
27:55 Where can folks learn more about you?
29:32 What is one piece of simple advice that you want to leave the listeners with?

Links
https://www.instagram.com/intentionaldivorcesolutions/
https://www.youtube.com/@IntentionalDivorceInsights
https://www.linkedin.com/in/leahahadley/

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Welcome to the Modern Husbands podcast, where any combination of Dr. Bruce Ross, Christian Sherrill, and Brian Page host national experts who share winning ideas to manage money and the home as a team.

Today we welcome Dr. Gary Barker. Dr. Barker is the CEO and co-founder of Equimundo and MenCare. Dr. Barker advises the UN, the World Bank, national governments, international foundations and corporations. He is an Ashoka Fellow and Voices of Solidarity Award WInner. 

Today’s podcast is a recording of our special event held on February 15th. Dr. Barker addresses questions such as how husbands can show their spouses they care, the dynamics of when wives earn more than their husbands, how fathers can overcome the obstacles of being caregivers, and how men can become closer with their loved ones.

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Welcome to the Modern Husbands podcast, where any combination of Dr. Bruce Ross, Christian Sherrill, and Brian Page host national experts who share winning ideas to manage money and the home as a team.

Today we welcome Dr. Brad Wilcox. Dr. Wilcox is a Professor of Sociology at the University of Virginia, where he directs the National Marriage Project and a senior fellow at the Institute for Family Studies. Wilcox also currently serves as a nonresident senior fellow at the American Enterprise Institute (AEI). He has been a research fellow at Yale University, a research associate at Princeton University, and a Civitas Fellow at the Brookings Institution.

Today’s discussion will center around his new book, Get Married, and the evidence-based ideas highlighting the advantages of marriage and how to maintain a strong and happy marriage.

Enjoy the show.

0:00:00 Introduction
0:01:07 Fast Facts: A fun and fast series of quick Q&A:
Men MUST be the financial provider or men must be CAPABLE of being the financial provider?
What percentage of marriages end in divorce?
What percentage of American adults are married?
True or false: Couples who take more date nights are happier and have more stable marriages.
True or false: Since 1980, the divorce rate has increased.
True or false: The marriage rate has fallen about 65 percent in the last half century.
True or false: Couples who identified more with a “team” mindset, who regularly sacrificed for one another, and, and who shared the same bank account and last name, were more likely to be satisfied with their sex.
0:02:33 Cutting across all socioeconomic, what is the greatest predictor of happiness?
0:03:53 Which groups most commonly contain the happiest spouses?
0:06:00 How do you differentiate stability and happiness in marriage?
0:06:38 Let’s assume you're answering questions after one of your lectures at the University of Virginia. One college student strongly believes that the first priority in finding a spouse is ensuring it is your soulmate. Another student argues that the happiest marriages are not spouses who are soulmates, but rather put their family first. Who is right, and why?
0:08:38 The importance of weekly date nights
0:13:49 Which spousal approach leads to a happier marriage: We Before Me or Me Before We? Why?
0:18:43 What can happen when a husband only brings home the bacon and fails to help manage the home and spend too little time with your spouse?
0:21:02 What are the four behaviors that Gottman came to describe as the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” that is, harbingers of marital failure?
0:30:34: From your perspective, what are the five pillars upon which they are forging strong and stable family-first marriages?
0:35:58: Where can listeners purchase your book, Get Married?

Purchase Get Married: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/get-married-brad-wilcox?variant=41059498917922

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Welcome to the Modern Husbands podcast, where any combination of Dr. Bruce Ross, Christian Sherrill, and Brian Page host national experts who share winning ideas to manage money and the home as a team.

Eve Rodsky transformed a “blueberries breakdown” into a catalyst for social change when she applied her Harvard trained background in organizational management to ask the simple yet profound question: What would happen if we treated our homes as our most important organizations?

Her New York Times bestselling book and Reese’s Book Club Pick, Fair Play, is a gamified life-management system that helps partners rebalance their domestic workload and reimagine their relationship. Her book was also the inspiration for the Apple TV documentary Fair Play.

Eve Rodsky received her B.A. in economics and anthropology from the University of Michigan and her J.D. from Harvard Law School.

Today we will discuss how you can use the Fair Play System to manage your home as a team with your partner.

Questions answered by Eve

00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:28 What do husbands have to say after experiencing the Fair Play System?
00:04:20 What prompted building out the Fair Play system?
00:12:15 Can you walk us through the basics of your Fair Play system?
00:24:39 A brilliant example of success using the Fair Play System that husbands will love.
00:31:01 Why men hurt when they don’t have a role in their home
00:37:48 How do you work with your spouse to manage all of the food responsibilities?
00:44:28 Why is the Fair Play book, the Fair Play cards, or the Fair Play documentary the ideal Valentine’s Day gift?
00:45:40 Where can our listeners learn more about Fair Play?
00:46:15 Valentine’s Day Assignment

Learn more about the Fair Play System: https://www.fairplaylife.com/ 

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Welcome to the Modern Husbands podcast, where any combination of Dr. Bruce Ross, Christian Scherrill, and Brian Page host national experts who share winning ideas to manage money and the home as a team.

Today we welcome Manisha Thakor who has worked in financial services for over 30-years and is a nationally recognized thought-leader around the issues of financial literacy and education. Manisha's work has been featured in national media such as The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Barron’s, CNN, and CNBC. She has written two personal finance books for young people in their 20s and 30s. 

Manisha earned her MBA from Harvard Business School, her BA from Wellesley College and holds the CFA and CFP designations.

For today’s episode, we will discuss the lessons from her latest book MoneyZen: The Secret to Finding Your “Enough.” We tackle the tough questions we ask ourselves as we try to balance our career ambitions, our family obligations, and our self worth. 

Enjoy today’s show.

Questions Answered in the Podcast

0:00:00 Introduction
0:01:15 In your book, MoneyZen: The Secret to Finding Your “Enough,”  you talk about being trapped in the “Cult of Never Enough” and how this cult nearly destroyed your relationships, your health, and your self-esteem. Tell us more.  
0:06:20 You spent two years researching the causes of a never enough mindset. What did you discover?  
0:20:58 Manisha shares the difference between workaholism and appropriate devotion to work
0:23:37 What is the key to finding your “enough?"
0:35:13 What is the difference between money "problems" and money "worries?”
0:40:02 Where can our listeners learn more about you and purchase your book?
0:41:19 What are one or two things listeners to this podcast can do right now to help get closer to a life of MoneyZen?

Social media

Linked In: @ManishaThakor
Twitter/X: @ManishaThakor
Facebook: @ManishaThakor 
Instagram: @ManishaThakor

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Welcome to the Modern Husbands podcast, where any combination of Dr. Ross, Christian Scherrill, and Brian Page host national experts who share winning ideas to manage money and the home as a team.

Today we welcome the world renowned Dr. Joshua Coleman. Dr. Coleman is a psychologist in private practice and Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families. He has written for The New York Times, The Atlantic, and more. He has been a frequent guest on the Today Show and NPR and has been featured on Sesame Street, 20/20, and Good Morning America.

Dr. Coleman is the author of The Lazy Husband. He understands the challenges husbands face as we try to be supportive spouses. In this episode Dr. Coleman shares why husbands are often unfairly and unknowingly seen as lazy around the home and as caregivers and how to break through the common barriers that stand in the way of working with your spouse to manage the home as a team.

Show Notes

0:00:00 Introduction
0:01:00 What inspired Dr. Coleman to focus on the topic of men's involvement in parenting and housework. 
0:03:16 Dr. Coleman elaborates on the challenges couples face when it comes to achieving a balance in parenting and household responsibilities, specifically addressing men's roles.
0:11:09 Common misconceptions or stereotypes identified in research that contribute to the perception of husbands as "lazy" in terms of parenting and housework.
0:14:30 Practical tips that couples can implement to help husbands feel more involved as parents and in the home.
0:17:19 How the concept of emotional labor plays a role in the division of responsibilities, and what can couples do to address and distribute it more equitably.
0:23:22 The importance of creating a supportive environment for men to take on more responsibilities and the role of mutual respect in achieving this balance.
0:29:10 How couples can navigate potential resistance or reluctance from women when it comes to allowing husbands to do household chores their own way. 
0:33:05 Where listeners can go to learn more about your work and purchase your books. 
0:33:53 One piece of simple and actionable advice you want our listeners to walk away knowing from today’s episode. 

Learn more about Dr. Joshua Coleman: https://www.drjoshuacoleman.com/ 
Learn more about Modern Husbands: https://www.modernhusbands.com/ 

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Welcome to the Modern Husbands podcast, where any combination of Dr. Ross, Christian Scherrill, and Brian Page host national experts who share winning ideas to manage money and the home as a team.

Today we welcome Dr. Preston Cherry. Dr. Cherry holds a Ph.D. in Personal Financial Planning. He is an Accredited Financial Counselor AFC®, Certified Financial Therapist CFT-I™, and Certified Financial Planner CFP®. In 2021 & 2022, he was recognized as one of Investopedia’s 100 Top Financial Advisors.

Today we will discuss how younger and middle aged spouses can work together to build a dream marriage in retirement. Enjoy the show.

Show Notes

0:00:00 Introduction
0:00:52 Dr. Cherry recently married, and shares a bit about his first few months of marriage.
0:05:21 Understanding and embracing cultural, faith, family differences between spouses.
0:07:25 The most important financial lessons about transitioning into marriage.
0:09:56 The psychological obstacles Dr. Cherry sees that most often stand in the way of couples investing enough for retirement.
0:18:52 Strategies couples can use to work through the obstacles to invest enough for retirement.
0:25:33 Essential investing retirement plan fundamentals some couples miss.
0:30:36 A critical reframe of the 401k match.
0:33:05 The emotional HSA

Learn more about Dr. Preston

https://www.concurrentfp.com/ 

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Welcome to the Modern Husbands podcast, where any combination of Dr. Ross, Christian, and Brian host national experts who share winning ideas to manage money and the home as a team.

This week we are honored to welcome Ron Lieber. Ron is the author of The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money, and “The Price You Pay for College: An Entirely New Roadmap for the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make.” Ron has been the “Your Money” columnist for The New York Times since 2008. 

Most recently, Ron authored the online course for parents, The Price You Pay for College: Understanding Merit Aid. 

The goal of this episode is to help parents understand college aid to fully understand the financial implications of college award letters. 

Show Notes

0:00:00 Introduction 
0:01:00 Ron explains merit aid and how it can play into the emotions of parents
0:08:01 The difference between a loan and merit aid
0:13:40 Will high academic achievers begin to receive NIL money and the difference between merit aid and need-based aid
0:19:40 Whether most schools offer merit aid, and if so, whether the children of affluent parents qualify
0:30:42 The various reasons that schools give merit aid
0:37:20 When schools inform applicants of how much merit aid they qualify for and how long they last
0:38:50 Where parents can learn more about merit aid
0:40:45 One simple piece of advice Ron wants listeners to leave the conversation with

Resources:
https://meritaidcourse.com/  
https://studentloanplanner.lpages.co/modern-husbands/ 

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Welcome to the Modern Husbands podcast, where any combination of Dr. Ross, Christian, and Brian host national experts who share ideas to manage money and the home as teammates.

Today’s guest is the Godfather of the FIRE Movement, JL Collins. JL’s first book,  The Simple Path to Wealth, has sold over 500,000 copies worldwide.

If you’re looking for ideas to reach your financial new year’s resolution goals, look no further than JL Collin’s wisdom shared in Simple Path to Wealth, and his new book, Pathfinders, Extraordinary Stories of People Like You on the Quest for Financial Independence―And How to Join Them.

Enjoy today’s discussion with JL Collins who will help you be your own pathfinder to begin your year.

Show Notes

00:00 Introduction
01:32 JL helps our listeners understand what the FIRE movement is and the different types of FIRE movements.
02:47 JL shares ideas for listeners who might not want to go all-in on the FIRE movement but want to apply some of his countless lessons 
05:35 FU money
08:43 Why a house is a lousy investment, and other pitfalls of spending money you don’t have. 
11:53 JL’s approach to eliminating the chains of debt.
14:15 The most important rules of the road for couples who want to save more.
17:04 Defining and explaining the power of investing in index funds
23:01 How to manage money in a way to have less stress and more freedom in your life.
29:54 Conclusion

Resources

JL Collins website

Pathfinders: Extraordinary Stories of People Like You on the Quest for Financial Independence―And How to Join Them

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Chris has mastered the art of the deal as a business and sales professional for 20+ years. Ericka has helped 500+ clients and various corporate audiences get real and naked with money for 18 years. Together they have leveraged this corporate and real-world experience for their own bottom line. Most importantly, Chris and Ericka have been married for nearly 25 years. They both grew up in single-parent households and didn’t have a lot of excess money to go around. As a result, they wanted to provide a more stable foundation for their two daughters.

Chris and Ericka have successfully become millionaires, helped one daughter graduate from college debt-free and the other one is on her way. Through their podcast, For Better & Worth, they are here to show you that a healthy net worth and a happy, lasting relationship is possible.

Links

• For Better & Worth
• Download free: “You’re doing it backward: 7 Reasons Your Money Relationship Isn’t Working with Your Partner”
  
  

Show Notes

0:00 Introduction
1:35 Everyone picks on Brian for being an Ohio State Football fan :-)
3:36 A few examples of moments that are easy for Ericka, Chris, and Brian to give advice on but are hard for them to do
12:15 Whether to involve a financial planner on a money date / conversation with your partner
14:05 Brian shares his experience trying to time the stock market
16:54 How to remind yourselves to meet regularly to talk about money
28:45 Chris and Ericka’s non-negotiables in their financial lives
32:40 The financial floors and ceilings of the non financial negotiables
34:53 Brian and Hope’s non-negotiables in their financial lives
37:40 What steps Dr. Ross has taken during the engagement process that have been most beneficial to you thus far

Five driving questions from Dr. Ross:

• What brought you joy or excitement this past week?
• Is there anything I have done to hurt you this past week that we can repair now?
• What are you looking forward to in the upcoming week?
• What’s something worrisome/hard that’s happening in the upcoming week(s)? Is there something I can do to help?
• What can I do next week to make you feel more loved? 

Modern Husbands Links

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