US 185 How to Identify a Healthy Relationship

Navigating Miscommunication and Misunderstanding

 

Jen helps me process through a communication blip I had with my son. My husband & I have very different styles when talking to our boys, & I felt inadequate, and I sometimes struggle to attune. We talk about context when communicating, projection, who is a safe person to get angry at, & I talk about my own reactivity and confusion at my reaction. Jen reminds me that my family sticks with hard conversations. We also talk about having neuro-normative standards, & how that constantly leads to disappointment.

 

CO-HOST

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC

 

HIGHLIGHTS

Summary

 

In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their experiences with burnout and the importance of leaning into rest. They explore the challenges of pushing boundaries, asking for what you want, and allowing others to say no. They also discuss the impact of neuro-normative standards and the power of dropping expectations and starting from zero. The conversation delves into the dynamics of communication within families and the difficulties of attuning to different perspectives. They emphasize the importance of staying connected and working through bumps in relationships, while also acknowledging the need for space and the reality of being imperfect humans. The conversation concludes with a reminder to have grace and humility in relationships and to express love and appreciation for one another.

 

Takeaways

 

Leaning into rest and embracing the new norm during burnout can be a powerful tool for recovery.

Recognizing and respecting boundaries, both for oneself and others, is essential for maintaining healthy relationships.

Challenging neuro-normative standards and embracing individual differences can lead to greater understanding and acceptance.

Taking space and allowing for imperfection in relationships can foster growth, connection, and grace.

 

Additional points discussed:

1. Challenges in attuning to one's child compared to a spouse.
2. Contextual factors influencing communication breakdowns.
3. Impact of burnout on family dynamics.
4. Struggles of young adults balancing independence and parental support.
5. Importance of preparation in family communication.
6. Patterns of miscommunication and receptivity.
7. Emotional release and support in times of conflict.
8. Feeling disempowered in communication dynamics.
9. Need for open dialogue and understanding in relationships.
10. Misinterpretation of messages leading to conflict.
11. Defensive reactions in communication breakdowns.
12. Family dynamics during conflict resolution.
13. Neurodivergence and emotional dysregulation.
14. Rupture and repair work in relationships.
15. Acceptance of human imperfections in communication.
16. Parenting challenges and self-awareness.
17. Generational differences in perspectives on communication.
18. Emotional availability and its impact on relationships.
19. Perfectionism and its hindrance to authentic communication.
20. Importance of self-care and emotional readiness in conflict resolution.

 

Chapters (please adjust time for addition of introduction)

 

00:00 Introduction and Checking In

00:48 Coming Out of Burnout and Leaning Into Rest

02:06 Pushing Boundaries and Asking for What You Want

03:27 Navigating Setbacks and Embracing Patience

04:02 Valuing Autonomy and Allowing Others to Say No

05:22 Challenging Neuro-Normative Standards

06:05 Dropping Expectations and Starting from Zero

07:19 Powering Down and Restoring the Brain

08:26 Communication Challenges with Children

09:17 Recognizing Different Perspectives and Values

11:21 Navigating Family Dynamics and Emotional Activation

14:10 Miscommunication and Misunderstandings

15:41 The Impact of Words and Different Perspectives

18:08 Feeling Inadequate and Wounded

19:20 Staying Connected and Working Through Bumps

22:24 Empathic Communication and Paving the Way

25:01 Taking Space and Being Imperfect Humans

26:27 Staying in Relationship Through Messiness

30:20 Having Grace and Humility in Relationships

32:01 Accepting Imperfection and Being Present

35:15 Wrapping Up and Expressing Love

PODCAST HOST

Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you

 

CO-HOST BIO

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.

 

LINKS

 

Jen’s Links

 

Email: Jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com

 

Jen’s website: https://heartfulnessconsulting.com/

 

Patricia’s Links

 

Neurodivergent Online Course-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/neurodivergent-online-courses/

 

Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- https://www.subscribepage.com/e6z6e6

 

Sign up for the Newsletter-- https://www.subscribepage.com/y0l7d4

 

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select “listen on Apple Podcasts”
3. chose “open in itunes”
4. choose “ratings and reviews”
5. click to rate the number of starts
6. click “write a review”

 

Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/

Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv

e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

 

Neurodivergence and Friendship: The Struggle is Real

 

I talk about the challenges and complexities of friendships for neurodivergent folks, and the changing nature of friendships, the importance of reciprocity and communication. I discuss navigating difficult conversations, recognizing and addressing needs, and setting boundaries. I talk about the tendency to feel central in someone's life, and the challenges of accepting neurodivergence in relationships. I explore the importance of self-awareness, authenticity, and honoring one's own needs in relationships.

 

HIGHLIGHTS

 

Takeaways

 

·         Not all friendships are meant to last forever, and it's important to recognize that friendships come and go.

·         Communication and reciprocity are key in maintaining healthy relationships.

·         Navigating difficult conversations and setting boundaries is essential for personal growth and maintaining healthy relationships.

·         Recognizing and honoring one's own needs is crucial in navigating relationships.

·         Understanding and accepting neurodivergence in relationships can be challenging but necessary for fostering understanding and connection.

 

Other Insights:

• Insights on building relationships based on emotional intelligence.
• Strategies for holding space for feelings in friendships.
• Importance of rupture and repair in relationships.
• The significance of taking space in challenging relationships.
• Communication dynamics in maintaining connections.
• Evaluation of relationship importance in personal growth.
• Practices for healing and growth within relationships.
• Challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals in friendships.
• Strategies for navigating friendship complexities.
• Understanding the impact of neurodiversity on relationships.
• Coping mechanisms like rage writing for emotional processing.
• Recognition that not all friendships are lifelong.
• Quick connection and oversharing tendencies in relationships.
• Awareness of assumptions about closeness in friendships.
• Identifying personal values in seeking friendships.
• Reflection on reasons for leaving relationships.
• Difficulties in maintaining friendships for neurodivergent individuals.
• Exploration of evolving friendships with neurodivergent needs.
• Insights into the dynamics of neurodivergent friendships.
• Understanding the complexities of neurodiversity in relationships.

 

Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction)

 

00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage

00:55 Challenges in Making and Keeping Friendships

02:02 The Changing Nature of Friendships

03:35 Reciprocity and Communication in Relationships

04:58 Recognizing the Lack of Reciprocity

05:58 Testing Relationships and Making Assumptions

06:56 Navigating Difficult Conversations

08:05 Recognizing and Addressing Needs in Relationships

09:21 Dealing with Resentment and Setting Boundaries

10:24 Navigating Relationships During Tragedy

11:44 Feeling Central in Someone's Life

12:41 Recognizing Support Systems in Relationships

13:40 Navigating Relationships with Different Perspectives

16:00 Missteps and Room for Growth in Relationships

17:21 Challenges in Accepting Neurodivergence in Relationships

18:52 Understanding the Nuances of Autism and ADHD

20:16 Navigating Relationships with Limited Understanding

21:43 Setting Boundaries and Ending Relationships

23:13 Processing Grief and Emotions in Relationships

24:21 Having Vulnerable Conversations with Loved Ones

25:46 Navigating Emotional Needs and Connection

27:30 Recognizing and Honoring Personal Needs

29:32 Navigating Decision-Making and Overwhelm

31:30 Communicating Needs and Boundaries in Relationships

33:34 Navigating Overwhelm and Self-Judgment

35:19 Summary and Closing Remarks

PODCAST HOST

Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you

LINKS

 

HSP Online Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/

 

Online HSP Course Materials (no group included) https://patriciayounglcsw.com/product-category/hsp-classes/

 

Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- https://www.subscribepage.com/e6z6e6

 

Sign up for the Newsletter-- https://www.subscribepage.com/y0l7d4

 

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select “listen on Apple Podcasts”
3. chose “open in itunes”
4. choose “ratings and reviews”
5. click to rate the number of starts
6. click “write a review”

 

Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/

Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv

e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

 

The Importance of Rest & Learning to Receive & Ask for Help

 

Patricia and Jen discuss their health updates and the challenges they have faced. They also delve into the pressure to be productive and the fear of not functioning. The conversation shifts to vulnerability and insecurity in relationships, as well as the process of learning to receive and ask for help. They reflect on the growth and healing that comes from navigating attachment wounds. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the significance of not always having to do deep work in therapy.

 

CO-HOST

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC

 

HIGHLIGHTS

Summary

In this conversation. They explore the importance of finding joyful movement and the impact of rest on their well-being. In this conversation, Jen and Patricia discuss the importance of self-compassion and acceptance. They acknowledge the need to be kind to oneself and accept the challenges that come with it. They also talk about the practice of naming and addressing gremlins, which are negative thoughts or beliefs that can hold us back. By bringing these gremlins to light, they can be examined and dealt with. Lastly, they touch on the topic of protectiveness and support, highlighting the importance of being there for each other during difficult times.

 

Takeaways

 

Finding joy in movement can energize and fulfill us.

Rest is essential for rejuvenation and creativity.

Vulnerability and asking for help can deepen connections.

Navigating attachment wounds can lead to growth and healing. Practicing self-compassion and acceptance is crucial for personal growth and well-being.

Naming and addressing gremlins can help in overcoming negative thoughts and beliefs.

Being protective and supportive of others during challenging times fosters strong relationships.

Acknowledging and accepting temporary struggles can lead to personal growth and resilience.

 

Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction)

 

00:00 Introduction and Health Updates

03:11 Finding Joyful Movement

08:02 Struggles with Productivity and Pressure

13:10 The Importance of Rest

18:20 Vulnerability and Insecurity in Relationships

23:08 Learning to Receive and Ask for Help

28:27 Navigating Attachment Wounds

30:30 The Growth and Healing Process

33:01 The Importance of Rest in Therapy

33:53 Closing Remarks

33:58 Self-Compassion and Acceptance

34:46 Naming and Addressing Gremlins

35:04 Protectiveness and Support

PODCAST HOST

Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you

 

CO-HOST BIO

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.

 

LINKS

 

Jen’s Links

 

Email: Jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com

 

Jen’s website: https://heartfulnessconsulting.com/

 

Patricia’s Links

 

HSP Online Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/

 

Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- https://www.subscribepage.com/e6z6e6

 

Sign up for the Newsletter-- https://www.subscribepage.com/y0l7d4

 

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select “listen on Apple Podcasts”
3. chose “open in itunes”
4. choose “ratings and reviews”
5. click to rate the number of starts
6. click “write a review”

 

Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/

Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv

e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Autism Identification Should Come with a Warning Label (Including Autistic Burnout)

 

There are things that happen to most autistic people once they identify as autistic, and there should be a warning label! If you’re late diagnosed, and high masking, there’s a good chance you are, or will be in autistic burnout. There’s also skill regression, and not being able to push through anymore. This can be confusing and distressing. I bring you up to date on my health journey, and where I’m at with autistic burnout, and I provide a few resources.

 

HIGHLIGHTS

Summary

In this episode, Patricia provides a personal update on her health and discusses the challenges of identifying as autistic. She shares her experiences with navigating the healthcare system and dealing with health issues such as vestibular neuritis. Patricia also explores the impact of autistic burnout and trauma, as well as the need for positive male archetypes in her life. She discusses the lack of reciprocity in relationships and the importance of self-compassion and rest. Patricia concludes by encouraging listeners to embrace all parts of themselves and share the podcast with others.

Autistic Burnout

• Autistic burnout is a phenomenon experienced by many individuals, characterized by extreme exhaustion, mental fatigue, and sensory overload.
• It often results from prolonged periods of masking, camouflaging, and trying to fit into neurotypical expectations, leading to a depletion of cognitive and emotional resources.
• Autistic burnout can manifest as difficulty in functioning, heightened sensory sensitivities, emotional meltdowns, and a sense of overwhelm.
• Recognizing the signs of autistic burnout is crucial for individuals to prioritize self-care, seek support, and make necessary adjustments to prevent further exhaustion.
• Strategies to manage autistic burnout may include setting boundaries, practicing sensory regulation techniques, engaging in self-soothing activities, and seeking therapy or counseling.
• Creating a supportive environment that accommodates sensory needs, communication preferences, and individual differences can help prevent and alleviate autistic burnout.
• Educating employers, educators, and healthcare providers about autistic burnout can lead to more inclusive and accommodating environments for autistic individuals.
• Understanding one's neurodivergent traits can help individuals recognize their limits, advocate for their needs, and navigate challenges related to autistic burnout.
• Building a support network of understanding friends, family members, therapists, and fellow neurodivergent individuals can provide emotional support and validation during periods of autistic burnout.

Benefits of having an autism diagnosis (either self-diagnosis or formal diagnosis) for myself

• Self-identification and diagnosis in the autistic community are helpful in understanding one's unique neurodivergent traits and needs.
• It helps individuals access appropriate support, accommodations, and resources tailored to their specific differences and strengths.
• Self-identification empowers individuals to embrace their identity and connect with a supportive community of like-minded individuals.
• Diagnosis provides validation and a sense of relief for many individuals who have long struggled with feeling different or misunderstood.
• Understanding one's autism can lead to better self-awareness and self-acceptance, promoting mental well-being and confidence.
• It allows individuals to advocate for themselves in various settings, such as education, employment, and healthcare, ensuring their needs are met.
• Diagnosis can help individuals navigate social interactions, sensory sensitivities, and other aspects of daily life more effectively.
• Early diagnosis in children can lead to early intervention and support, improving long-term outcomes and quality of life.
• It helps dispel misconceptions and stigma surrounding autism, promoting acceptance and inclusion in society.
• Self-identification and diagnosis contribute to a more accurate representation of the diverse autistic community, highlighting the spectrum of experiences and challenges individuals may face.

 

Takeaways

 

Identifying as autistic can come with challenges and a range of emotions, including anger, grief, and frustration.

Navigating the healthcare system can be difficult, especially when seeking a diagnosis or specialized care.

Autistic burnout is a real phenomenon that can lead to skill regression and a decreased ability to function.

Self-compassion and rest are essential for managing autistic burnout and maintaining overall well-being.

 

Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction)

 

00:00 Introduction and Personal Update

01:15 The Challenges of Identifying as Autistic

02:08 Struggling with Health Issues

03:32 Navigating the Healthcare System

04:36 The Impact of Vestibular Neuritis

05:59 Autistic Burnout and Trauma

07:15 Grief and Anger in the Autism Journey

08:31 Childhood Experiences and Identity

09:50 The Need for Male Archetypes

11:19 Seeking Support and Advocacy

12:42 The Lack of Reciprocity in Relationships

13:54 Navigating Small World and Limited Energy

15:14 Accepting Where You Are

16:33 The Impact of Autism Diagnosis

17:54 The Complexity of Autism Presentation

19:46 The Validity of Self-Diagnosis

20:21 The Illusion of Neurotypical Functioning

21:31 Embracing Autism as a Disability

22:35 Understanding Autistic Burnout

23:46 The Impact of Medical Appointments

25:17 The Harsh Inner Critic and Self-Compassion

26:12 Fear of Not Functioning

27:05 The Lack of Recognition for Autistic Experiences

28:11 Observing Reciprocity in Relationships

29:07 The Importance of Rest and Self-Care

30:00 The Impact of Autistic Burnout on Work

31:06 Embracing All Parts of Yourself

32:20 Conclusion and Call to Share the Podcast

Additional Takeaways

Seek consent and ask for permission before sharing personal reactions or opinions in conversations.

Be authentic and true to yourself in personal relationships, while also considering the needs and perspectives of others.

Strive for a balance between routine and self-care, and be patient with yourself when facing setbacks.

Set realistic expectations and practice self-compassion when working towards personal goals.

Create an affirming household that acknowledges and accommodates the different needs of family members.

Recognize and respect personal endurance and self-regulation in social situations.

Embrace self-expression and navigate social interactions in a way that aligns with your neurodivergent traits.

Take ownership of your own fulfillment and celebrate holidays in a way that aligns with your desires and needs.

Seek support and embrace your sensitivity as a valuable aspect of your identity.

 

Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introdruction:

 

00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage

01:28 Giving Consent in Relationships

04:44 Being Authentic and Reacting in Personal Relationships

07:27 Struggling with Routine and Self-Care

10:05 Setting Expectations and Practicing Self-Compassion

11:32 Navigating Family Dynamics and Accommodating Needs

16:31 Managing Personal Endurance and Self-Regulation

20:53 Navigating Social Situations and Self-Expression

22:17 Celebrating Holidays and Self-Fulfillment

25:36 Seeking Support and Embracing Sensitivity

PODCAST HOST

Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you

LINKS

 

Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey

 

HSP Online Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/

 

Online HSP Course Materials (no group included) https://patriciayounglcsw.com/product-category/hsp-classes/

 

Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- https://www.subscribepage.com/e6z6e6

 

Sign up for the Newsletter-- https://www.subscribepage.com/y0l7d4

 

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select “listen on Apple Podcasts”
3. chose “open in itunes”
4. choose “ratings and reviews”
5. click to rate the number of starts
6. click “write a review”

 

Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/

Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv

e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

 

Exploring Identity, and Turning Toward Yourself in Affirming Ways

 

Jen and I touch on so much in this episode: challenges setting boundaries; structure vs. the need for novelty (ADHD vs. autism), attachment injuries and bids for connection; the challenges and gifts of hard conversations; what neuro-affirming therapy looks like; PDA and focusing on others to reduce demands; masking; what comes up when someone suspects they are autistic or are recently diagnosed.

 

CO-HOST

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC

 

HIGHLIGHTS

Summary

In this conversation, Jen and Patricia discuss various topics related to parenting, boundaries, and self-discovery. They explore the challenges of adjusting to new structures and parenting roles, as well as the importance of partnering with children and acknowledging limitations. They also discuss the significance of modeling imperfection and repairing emotional availability. The conversation delves into navigating personal preferences and resistance, expressing needs and bids for connection, and the importance of setting boundaries and embracing autonomy. They also touch on the process of recognizing and embracing an autistic identity, as well as the roller coaster of emotions that can come with this realization. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of self-reflection, authenticity, and deepening intimacy in relationships.

Takeaways

·         Adjusting to new structures and parenting roles can be challenging but can also provide opportunities for growth and learning.

·         Modeling imperfection and repairing emotional availability can strengthen relationships and create a sense of safety and trust.

·         Setting boundaries and embracing autonomy are essential for self-care and maintaining healthy relationships.

·         Becoming your own heroine in your life and your story

·         Assessing what you want in relationships, and seeing if the people who are disappointing you are people you would choose

·         Communicating when it you’re wanting a bid for connection

·         Addressing our attachment wounds in relationship is really an act of service to the relationship

·         The ongoing challenge between ADHD and the need for novelty and with autism wanting routine and structure

·         Conflict and avoidance of conflict can be hard, and having difficult conversations can also be hard. How does it help the relationship?

·         The importance of having autistic or neuro-affirming therapists and coaches since allistic practitioners can cause more trauma and harm

·         If you’re recently diagnosed autistic or suspect you are autistic, you may experience skill regression, difficulty doing things you previously did, and your identify may be shaken up (there’s grief and anger there as well)

·         Ways your PDA may be showing up and things you have learned to do to minimize having your nervous system activated

·         You may have been socialized to be “other focused,” which makes it hard to know what you are wanting and needing, and it can be a form of masking, and it may reduce PDA and RSD

Recognizing and embracing an autistic identity can bring validation and understanding, but it can also be accompanied by a roller coaster of emotions and a need for self-reflection.

Chapters (adjust time for the addition of the introduction)

00:00 Introduction and Checking In

01:18 Adjusting to New Structure and Parenting

03:03 Partnering with Children and Acknowledging Limitations

04:23 Modeling Imperfection and Repairing Emotional Availability

05:05 Exploring Personal Challenges and Seeking Support

06:41 Navigating Personal Preferences and Resistance

08:08 Expressing Needs and Bids for Connection

09:35 Navigating Difficult Conversations and Repairing Ruptures

10:51 Taking Risks and Embracing Discomfort

12:40 Honoring Wounds and Attending to Healing

14:51 Setting Boundaries and Embracing Autonomy

16:40 Navigating Conflict and Deepening Intimacy

19:03 Recognizing Autistic Identity and Processing Emotions

23:53 Reevaluating Relationships and Prioritizing Values

27:10 Embracing Authenticity and Self-Reflection

31:57 Navigating the Roller Coaster of Autistic Identity

32:44 Conclusion

PODCAST HOST

Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you

 

CO-HOST BIO

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.

 

LINKS

 

Jen’s Links

 

Email: Jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com

 

Jen’s website: https://heartfulnessconsulting.com/

 

Patricia’s Links

 

HSP Online Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/

 

Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- https://www.subscribepage.com/e6z6e6

 

Sign up for the Newsletter-- https://www.subscribepage.com/y0l7d4

 

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select “listen on Apple Podcasts”
3. chose “open in itunes”
4. choose “ratings and reviews”
5. click to rate the number of starts
6. click “write a review”

 

Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/

Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv

e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

 

Real Talk on Health Challenges: Speaking FOR Your Parts vs. Speaking FROM Your Parts

 

Jen and I talk about the difference between complaining, speaking honestly about what’s going on, and the other person’s capacity to sit with things that they may feel they need to fix or change. Many of you have been told that you complain too much or that you’re too negative. Neurodivergent brains tend to report the truth, and we are very discerning about what we like and what we don’t like. This can be perceived as negativity, complaining or being depressing to be around. What if it really wasn’t about you?

 

CO-HOST

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC

 

HIGHLIGHTS

Summary

 

In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss the difference between complaining and sharing honestly about personal struggles. They explore the challenges of navigating conversations around difficult topics and the importance of holding space for each other's experiences. They also delve into the healing process and the acceptance of trauma, emphasizing the need to honor and validate our own emotions. The conversation highlights the significance of checking intentions and capacity in communication, as well as the transformative power of being in relationship with our experiences. In this conversation, Jen and Patricia discuss the importance of speaking from a part versus speaking for a part. They explore the concept of unprocessed trauma and how it can affect communication. They also discuss the significance of acknowledging and balancing pain, as well as differentiating between acting from a part and speaking for a part. The conversation highlights the role of chaperoning the part and the importance of validating and witnessing pain. Finally, they find humor in the uncertainty of their podcast episodes.

 

Takeaways

 

Differentiate between complaining and sharing honestly about personal struggles.

Hold space for each other's experiences and validate emotions.

Accept and heal from trauma by being in relationship with our experiences.

Check intentions and capacity in communication to ensure effective and compassionate conversations. It is important to speak from a part rather than speaking for a part.

Unprocessed trauma can impact communication and lead to a desire for others to intuitively understand and fix our needs.

Acknowledging and balancing pain can help in managing distressing emotions.

Differentiating between acting from a part and speaking for a part can provide clarity in communication.

Chaperoning the part involves bringing in other perspectives and validating the pain experienced.

Validating and witnessing pain is crucial in processing unprocessed trauma.

Finding humor in uncertainty can help alleviate pressure and create a lighter atmosphere.

 

Chapters (adjust for addition of introduction)

 

00:00 Introduction and Personal Updates

02:34 Differentiating Between Complaining and Sharing

08:15 Healing and Accepting Trauma

13:25 The Healing Process and Holding Space

16:53 The Energy of Holding Space and Acceptance

23:39 Checking Intentions and Capacity in Communication

27:19 Navigating Difficult Conversations and Boundaries

32:24 Processing Trauma and Holding Space for Emotions

36:29 The Complexity of Communication and Trauma Responses

38:55 Being in Relationship with Our Experiences and Healing

39:52 Speaking from a Part vs. Speaking for a Part

40:38 Identifying Unprocessed Trauma

41:33 Acknowledging and Balancing Pain

42:14 Differentiating Acting from Speaking

42:53 Chaperoning the Part

43:22 Validating and Witnessing Pain

43:42 Finding Humor in Uncertainty

PODCAST HOST

Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you

 

CO-HOST BIO

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.

 

LINKS

 

Jen’s Links

 

Email: Jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com

 

Jen’s website: https://heartfulnessconsulting.com/

 

Patricia’s Links

 

HSP Online Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/

 

Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- https://www.subscribepage.com/e6z6e6

 

Sign up for the Newsletter-- https://www.subscribepage.com/y0l7d4

 

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select “listen on Apple Podcasts”
3. chose “open in itunes”
4. choose “ratings and reviews”
5. click to rate the number of starts
6. click “write a review”

 

Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/

Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv

e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

 

Getting from Here to There When You’ve Lost Your Routine

 

How do you get back in a groove after you’ve gotten out of it? We often assume we can jump back in, but sometimes it’s harder than that. I also talk about getting consent in relationships before giving feedback and advice. Attuning to the other person is the best gift you can give someone. This means dropping your agenda. I also talk about how to communicate your sensory needs when others are unaware. It can be exhausting it can be for us when we have to compensate and when we are overstimulated.

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS

20 takeaways from this episode:

1. Strategies for managing the transition from the holiday season to regular routines.

2. Tips for handling difficult conversations with loved ones.

3. The importance of active listening in communication.

4. How to show empathy and validate others' feelings.

5. The benefits of setting clear boundaries in conversations.

6. The use of "I" statements to express thoughts and feelings.

7. The importance of seeking compromise in challenging discussions.

8. The value of taking breaks during emotionally charged conversations.

9. The benefits of seeking professional help from a therapist or coach.

10. Understanding attachment wounds and their impact on relationships.

11. The concept of PDA (pathological demand avoidance or Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy) and its effects on communication.

12. The importance of attunement in relationships.

13. The role of consent in sharing with someone who is struggling.

14. The value of self-compassion and acceptance of all emotions.

15. Strategies for managing sensitivity and emotional reactions.

16. The benefits of eliminating inflammatory foods from one's diet.

17. The challenges of navigating family dynamics during the holiday season.

18. The importance of managing expectations in relationships.

19. The value of self-reflection and self-awareness in communication.

20. The benefits of practicing mindfulness and self-care in daily life.

 

Additional Takeaways

Seek consent and ask for permission before sharing personal reactions or opinions in conversations.

Be authentic and true to yourself in personal relationships, while also considering the needs and perspectives of others.

Strive for a balance between routine and self-care, and be patient with yourself when facing setbacks.

Set realistic expectations and practice self-compassion when working towards personal goals.

Create an affirming household that acknowledges and accommodates the different needs of family members.

Recognize and respect personal endurance and self-regulation in social situations.

Embrace self-expression and navigate social interactions in a way that aligns with your neurodivergent traits.

Take ownership of your own fulfillment and celebrate holidays in a way that aligns with your desires and needs.

Seek support and embrace your sensitivity as a valuable aspect of your identity.

 

Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introdruction:

 

00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage

01:28 Giving Consent in Relationships

04:44 Being Authentic and Reacting in Personal Relationships

07:27 Struggling with Routine and Self-Care

10:05 Setting Expectations and Practicing Self-Compassion

11:32 Navigating Family Dynamics and Accommodating Needs

16:31 Managing Personal Endurance and Self-Regulation

20:53 Navigating Social Situations and Self-Expression

22:17 Celebrating Holidays and Self-Fulfillment

25:36 Seeking Support and Embracing Sensitivity

PODCAST HOST

Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you

LINKS

 

HSP Online Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/

 

Online HSP Course Materials (no group included) https://patriciayounglcsw.com/product-category/hsp-classes/

 

Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- https://www.subscribepage.com/e6z6e6

 

Sign up for the Newsletter-- https://www.subscribepage.com/y0l7d4

 

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select “listen on Apple Podcasts”
3. chose “open in itunes”
4. choose “ratings and reviews”
5. click to rate the number of starts
6. click “write a review”

 

Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/

Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv

e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Attachment Injuries, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Self-Care

Jen and I discuss attachment wounds and using an Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework. We talk about the difference of speaking for our parts vs. speaking from our parts. We talk about overperformance, the pressure to show up and masking, and the importance of feeling seen and heard in relationships. We talk about unpacking an autism diagnosis and reviewing life through the lens of autism. We also emphasize embracing imperfection and practicing self-care and self-compassion.

 

CO-HOST

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC

 

HIGHLIGHTS

Summary

In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their current states and challenges, including the impact of attachment injuries and autism. They explore the importance of reframing and unpacking an autism diagnoses. They also discuss the significance of embracing imperfection and practicing self-compassion. The conversation delves into the difference between speaking for parts and speaking from parts, as well as the challenges of feeling seen and heard in relationships. They also touch on the role of technology in communication and the connection between self-worth and expressing love. In this conversation, Jen and Patricia discuss the pressure to show up and overperform, particularly in relation to masking and societal expectations. They explore the idea of letting go of perfection in expressing self-worth and the impact it has on relationships. They also delve into managing expectations and self-pressure, recognizing that others often have different expectations than we do for ourselves. Finally, they touch on the importance of embracing different parts of ourselves and being in relationship with them.

 

Takeaways

The pressure to show up and overperform can be overwhelming, especially for individuals who feel the need to mask their true selves.

Letting go of the idea of perfection in expressing self-worth can lead to greater ease and authenticity in relationships.

Managing expectations and self-pressure is crucial for maintaining mental well-being, as others often have different expectations than we do for ourselves.

Embracing different parts of ourselves and being in relationship with them allows for a more integrated and balanced sense of self.

 

Summary

·         Navigating life with autism and managing attachment injuries.

·         The impact of autism on daily routines and family dynamics.

·         Understanding the challenges of having food, routines, and independence,

·         Embracing imperfection and letting go of perfectionism,

·         Recognizing the need for gentleness and self-compassion, especially with the inner critic.

·         Exploring the concept of "autistic burnout" and its impact on daily life and mental health.

·         Reflecting on the journey of self-discovery and acceptance after receiving an autism diagnosis.

·         Embracing the process of reframing past experiences through the lens of autism.

·         Navigating the complexities of showing love and care.

·         Understanding the diverse ways individuals express love and support within the neurodivergent community.

·         Addressing the challenges of communication and maintaining connections

·         Exploring the impact of ADHD and neurodivergence on memory, attention, and maintaining social patterns.

·         Recognizing the importance of open communication and managing expectations in relationships.

·         Embracing vulnerability and acknowledging the impact of attachment wounds in personal interactions.

·         Insights into the journey of self-discovery, self-care, and personal growth as a neurodivergent person

Chapters (will need to be adjusted with the addition of the introduction)

00:00 Introduction and Current State

01:07 Exploring Attachment Injuries and Autism

04:04 Accepting the Autism Diagnosis

09:26 Leaning into Challenges and Reframing

12:26 Navigating Self-Criticism and Self-Judgment

15:19 Embracing Imperfection and Self-Compassion

19:01 Speaking for Parts vs. Speaking from Parts

23:28 Being Fully Present in Life

28:02 Feeling Seen and Heard in Relationships

30:03 Navigating Technology and Communication

34:26 Self-Worth and Expressing Love

36:15 Hustling for Self-Worth and Activation

37:02 The Pressure to Show Up and Overperform

38:06 Letting Go of Perfection in Expressing Self-Worth

39:11 Managing Expectations and Self-Pressure

39:27 Embracing Different Parts of Ourselves

PODCAST HOST

Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you

 

CO-HOST BIO

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.

 

LINKS

 

Jen’s Links

 

Email: Jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com

 

Jen’s website: https://heartfulnessconsulting.com/

 

Patricia’s Links

 

HSP Online Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/

Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- https://www.subscribepage.com/e6z6e6

 

Sign up for the Newsletter-- https://www.subscribepage.com/y0l7d4

 

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select “listen on Apple Podcasts”
3. chose “open in itunes”
4. choose “ratings and reviews”
5. click to rate the number of starts
6. click “write a review”

Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/

Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv

e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

 

The Power of Showing Up: Embracing Imperfection and Struggles with PDA and RSD

 

Jen and I discuss our struggles with showing up and doing life even when it's hard. We model grace and vulnerability, reminding you that it's okay to not have it all together. The conversation touches on topics such as PDA, rejection-sensitive dysphoria RSD, and the pressure of gift-giving. We also discuss the importance of communication and staying connected, even when feeling tired or overwhelmed. This episode is helpful for anyone who may be struggling.

 

CO-HOST

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC

 

HIGHLIGHTS

Summary

In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their personal struggles with health issues, specifically vertigo and its impact on their daily lives. They explore the challenges of navigating uncertainty, the importance of showing up authentically even when it's hard, and the need for self-compassion and self-care. They also delve into topics such as perception, autonomy, and the role of humor in medical settings. The conversation highlights the significance of connection, vulnerability, and understanding in supporting one another during difficult times. Ultimately, they emphasize the importance of recognizing and honoring one's own needs and limitations. In this conversation, Jen and Patricia discuss the importance of effective communication and provide practical tips for improving communication skills. They explore the role of active listening, empathy, non-verbal communication, cultural sensitivity, and overcoming communication barriers. The conversation emphasizes the significance of clear and respectful communication in personal and professional relationships.

·         We discuss the challenges of being perceived and the pressure to conform to societal expectations.

·         The conversation touches on topics such as autism, PDA, and rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD).

·         We discuss the importance of communication and staying connected, even when feeling tired or overwhelmed.

·         It’s okay to not have it all together.

·         We talk about the pressure of gift-giving and the anxiety it can cause for neurodivergent individuals.

·         We discuss the concept of being in charge and the nervous system getting activated when feeling a loss of autonomy (PDA—Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy).

·         We friends share our experiences with PDA and how it affects our daily lives.

·         We talk about the importance of self-care and setting boundaries to avoid burnout.

·         We discuss the challenges of being vulnerable and the fear of rejection that comes with it.

·         The conversation touches on the importance of self-acceptance and embracing one's unique traits.

·         We discuss the impact of childhood experiences on our current struggles and coping mechanisms.

·         We share our experiences with medical care and how we navigate uncomfortable situations.

·         We talk about the importance of humor and how it can humanize otherwise sterile environments.

·         The conversation ends with a reminder to be kind to oneself and to embrace imperfection as a part of the human experience.

Takeaways

Navigating health issues can be challenging and uncertain, but it's important to show up authentically and seek support.

Self-compassion and self-care are crucial during difficult times, even if it means letting go of expectations and prioritizing rest.

Communication and understanding are key in maintaining healthy relationships and navigating challenges together.

Humor and vulnerability can provide comfort and connection in medical settings, helping to humanize the experience. Effective communication is crucial for building strong relationships and resolving conflicts.

Active listening and empathy are essential skills for effective communication.

Non-verbal communication, such as body language and facial expressions, can convey important messages.

Cultural sensitivity is important for understanding and respecting diverse communication styles.

Identifying and overcoming communication barriers can improve the quality of communication.

 

Chapters (these times need to be adjusted to the addition of the introduction)

 

00:00 Introduction and Setting the Tone

01:10 Modeling How to Show Up and Do Life Even When It's Hard

02:06 Supporting Each Other and Being Present

02:31 Understanding and Sharing Personal Health Struggles

06:10 The Uncertainty and Challenges of Dealing with Vertigo

09:01 The Impact of Dizziness on Daily Life and Activities

10:15 Navigating the Emotional and Mental Toll of Health Issues

12:30 The Importance of Connection and Honesty in Difficult Times

13:40 Exploring Personal Awareness and Self-Reflection

21:11 The Influence of Perception and Autonomy on Self-Care

23:51 The Role of Humor and Vulnerability in Medical Settings

26:14 Navigating Overwhelm and Setting Boundaries During the Holidays

29:03 Recognizing Soul Fatigue and the Need for Rest

31:37 Reevaluating Expectations and Prioritizing Self-Care

35:20 Communicating Needs and Understanding Each Other

37:30 Reflection and Gratitude

02:30 The Importance of Effective Communication

08:15 Active Listening and Empathy

15:45 Non-Verbal Communication

22:10 Cultural Sensitivity and Communication

29:20 Overcoming Communication Barriers

35:10 Conclusion

PODCAST HOST

Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you

 

CO-HOST BIO

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.

 

LINKS

 

Jen’s Links

 

Email: Jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com

 

Jen’s website: https://heartfulnessconsulting.com/

 

Patricia’s Links

 

HSP Online Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/

 

Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- https://www.subscribepage.com/e6z6e6

 

Sign up for the Newsletter-- https://www.subscribepage.com/y0l7d4

 

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select “listen on Apple Podcasts”
3. chose “open in itunes”
4. choose “ratings and reviews”
5. click to rate the number of starts
6. click “write a review”

 

Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/

Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv

e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

 

Navigating Autism and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy)

 I discuss being diagnosed Autistic with a PDA (pathological demand avoidance) profile. I express frustration with the DSM criteria for ADHD and autism, as I don’t see myself in the criteria. I highlight the common misdiagnosis of PDA as oppositional defiant disorder in children, emphasizing the need for a deeper understanding of neurodivergent experiences. I advocate a shift from viewing differences as deficits, and the importance of recognizing the unique perspectives of neurodivergent individuals.

HIGHLIGHTS

Summary

In this episode, Patricia shares her personal reflections on being diagnosed autistic and the challenges she faces with Pathological Demand Avoidance, (PDA). Patricia prefers Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy instead. She discusses the differences between autism and HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and emphasizes the importance of understanding the lived experience of autism. Patricia also explores how PDA affects parenting and the need for low-demand environments. She reflects on her struggles with holiday traditions and the importance of self-acceptance and embracing stimming. Additionally, Patricia discusses the impact of seasonal changes and offers insights into managing PDA in daily life. She concludes with a book she enjoyed reading that has coded autistic characters in it.

Some of the challenges and awarenesses about being autistic and having a PDA profile:

·         Patricia shares her frustration with the DSM criteria for ADHD and autism, as she does not see herself in the criteria. It was written for white boys who externalize their symptoms. Many late-diagnosed, high-masking folks tend to internalize their presentation, and they go undiagnosed and don’t see themselves in the criteria, which needs to be updated.

·         Patricia emphasizes the importance of understanding the lived experience of neurodivergent individuals and the need to look at differences rather than deficits.

·         She expresses her passion for wanting researchers and experts in the field of ADHD, autism, and HSP to work collaboratively to find commonalities.

·         Patricia talks about the challenges of being formally diagnosed with autism and how it has led to a year of "Ahas."

·         She shares insights into how PDA shows up in her life, including anticipating things that could go wrong and giving people permission to not respond.

Takeaways

Understanding the lived experience of autism is crucial for creating a supportive environment.

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) also known as Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy, can be misdiagnosed as oppositional defiant disorder and is characterized by nervous system dysregulation.

Parents with PDA may face challenges in parenting neurodivergent children and may benefit from creating low-demand environments.

Embracing self-acceptance and allowing oneself to stim can lead to a greater sense of joy and freedom.

Seasonal changes can impact mood and energy levels, and it's important to listen to one's body and practice self-care.

Anticipating demands and setting boundaries can help manage PDA and reduce stress.

The book 'Lessons in Chemistry' features characters who are coded as autistic and explores themes of feminism and neurodiversity.

Chapters (please adjust times with the addition of the introduction)

00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflections

01:58 Understanding PDA and Autism

06:49 Challenges of Parenting with PDA

08:18 Navigating Holiday Traditions

16:08 Embracing Stimming and Self-Acceptance

17:32 Coping with Winter and Seasonal Changes

24:05 Managing PDA in Daily Life

27:31 Anticipating and Resisting Demands

28:52 Book Recommendation: Lessons in Chemistry

30:17 Closing Remarks and Invitation

PODCAST HOST

Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD (autistic and ADHD), with a PDA profile, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you

LINKS

HSP Online Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/

Online HSP Course Materials (no group included) https://patriciayounglcsw.com/product-category/hsp-classes/

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Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com