We've Outgrown our Friendships

Podcast Summary

• Navigating life changes: It's normal to feel uncertain and nervous during life changes. Seek support, take things one step at a time, and remember everyone's journey is unique.

  Adjusting to new life changes, whether it's starting a new relationship or achieving a major milestone like selling a business, can be challenging and bring about feelings of uncertainty and nervousness. It's important to remember that it's okay to feel this way and to take things one step at a time. Reach out to friends, seek support, and don't be afraid to ask for help when needed. Keep in mind that everyone's journey is unique, and there's no right or wrong way to navigate these changes. Take a deep breath, stay focused, and keep moving forward. And, if you're feeling inspired or resonating with the topics discussed on the show, consider sharing it with someone you think might benefit from it. Remember, you're not alone, and there's a community of people out there who understand and are here to support you.

• Desiring New Connections: A Common Experience for Couples with Children: Couples with children often desire new friendships, but finding the time and initiative to make them can be challenging. Engaging in new activities together and meeting new people in the community can help.

  Making new friends can be challenging, especially when you've had the same group of friends for a long time, and your social circle is largely made up of your partner's friends. This can lead to feeling isolated and desiring new connections. The stresses of raising a family, particularly with multiple children, can add to this feeling. Both partners may feel this need for new friendships on a personal and couple level. A solution could be to try new activities together and meet new people in the community. However, this can be intimidating and may require effort and initiative. It's important to remember that it's normal to desire new connections and that making them can be a challenging but rewarding experience.

• Expanding social circle and experiencing guilt: It's natural to feel guilt when expanding social circle and making new transitions in life, but it's important to remember that relationships naturally evolve and it's okay to grow and explore new experiences with the support of your partner.

  Making new connections and transitions in life, such as starting a family and attending preschool activities, can be uncomfortable and may bring up feelings of guilt. However, it's important to remember that people and relationships naturally evolve, and it's okay to grow and want new experiences, especially with the support of your partner. The guilt you feel doesn't mean you're breaking up with old friends, but rather that you're expanding your social circle and exploring new interests. Eventually, you may find yourself naturally drifting apart from some friendships and growing closer to others based on shared experiences and interests. It's important to embrace these changes and not let guilt or resentment hold you back from building new connections and enjoying new experiences with your family.

• Maintaining friendships outside of family circle: It's important to prioritize friendships, even when interests or schedules shift, to avoid resentment and maintain overall well-being.

  It's essential to maintain friendships outside of our immediate family circle, even when our interests or schedules shift. It's natural for friendships to evolve, but it's crucial not to let resentment build up. Instead, choose to feel guilty when we can't make it to gatherings or events, as this emotion is more likely to fade over time. This doesn't mean we have to sacrifice our marriage or parenting responsibilities, but rather that we should make an effort to maintain friendships as an essential aspect of our overall well-being. Our marriages and parenting depend on it. Remember, guilt is a temporary emotion, while resentment can be damaging and long-lasting. So, prioritize your friendships, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone or making some sacrifices. Your relationships will thank you for it.

• Prioritize Relationships and Make Time for Fun: Effective communication, making time for your partner, surrounding yourself with older friends, and focusing on relationships can lead to a happier family life and personal growth.

  It's important to prioritize your relationships, especially your marriage, and make time for fun experiences with your partner. Resentment and dissension can negatively impact your family, so it's crucial to communicate effectively and make time for each other. Additionally, surrounding yourself with older, wiser friends can bring new perspectives and experiences to your life. The speaker shares his own experience of waiting to have children later in life and the benefits of having friends across age groups. Lastly, selling a business for a significant profit doesn't necessarily change your daily life, and it's essential to stay grounded and focused on what truly matters.

• Consider personal values and missions when evaluating job opportunities: Reflect on personal values and priorities before pursuing new career opportunities, not just potential rewards.

  While an exciting job opportunity may offer growth and potential, it's essential to consider if it aligns with one's personal values and goals. The speaker, who has recently sold his business and is feeling uncertain about the future, received this advice from John Delaney. He was praised for his resilience and character, but the speaker expressed that he might not be fulfilled in the private equity world, which prioritizes making others extremely wealthy before moving on. Delaney emphasized that it's crucial to evaluate opportunities based on personal values and missions, not just potential rewards. The speaker's situation underscores the importance of self-reflection and understanding one's priorities when considering new career opportunities.

• Navigating Life's Challenges: A Veteran's Perspective: Veterans face unique challenges in transitioning to civilian life, including starting a business and dealing with the sale of a company. Recognizing the current situation and finding a way to navigate it is crucial for success and reducing stress.

  Life can present constant challenges, and adjusting to new situations, whether it's leaving the military and starting a business or selling it and facing new uncertainties, can be a difficult and stressful process. The speaker in this conversation, a veteran and business owner, shares his experience of going through a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows over the past few years, including starting a business, having multiple children, and dealing with the sale of his company. He acknowledges that this experience has been a learning opportunity but also admits that it has been overwhelming and stressful. He emphasizes the importance of recognizing the current situation and trying to find a way to navigate it instead of jumping into another uncertain situation without being prepared. The conversation highlights the importance of resilience and adaptability in the face of challenges and the value of taking time to reflect and make informed decisions.

• Listen to your body's warning signs: Ignoring burnout signals can lead to bigger problems. Take a break to recharge and reassess priorities, which can lead to renewed purpose and clarity.

  It's essential to prioritize self-care and take a break when your body and mind are showing signs of burnout, despite having successful careers and financial stability. The speaker uses the metaphor of a car's dashboard warning lights to illustrate how ignoring these signals can lead to more significant problems down the line. He encourages listeners to consider taking a break, even if it means stepping away from their jobs, to recharge and reassess their priorities. This can be a scary prospect, but it's important to acknowledge the potential benefits of taking a break and looking inward to determine what comes next. The speaker also emphasizes that taking a break doesn't mean an end to learning or growth, as new opportunities can be found in unexpected places. Ultimately, taking a break can lead to a renewed sense of purpose and clarity, allowing individuals to make informed decisions about their future.

• Seek help and learn new skills for growth: Amid challenges, seek help from a counselor to learn and grow, focus on peace, healing, and new missions, use resources like Ken Coleman's book and assessments to figure out next steps, and embrace the scary but exciting process of rebuilding communication.

  Even in the midst of challenges and uncertainty, it's important to keep moving forward and not give up. The speakers encourage a couple who are going through a difficult time to seek help from a marriage counselor not to fix anything, but to learn and grow. They suggest focusing on new missions such as peace, healing, and figuring out what to do next. These may seem like soft skills, but they are in fact hard skills that require effort and practice. The speakers recommend using resources like Ken Coleman's book "From Paycheck to Purpose" and assessments to help figure out what you want to do next. The process may be scary, but it can also be exciting as you rebuild and learn new ways to communicate with each other and yourself.

• Investing in personal growth and future dreams: Continue dreaming about the future, take breaks for personal growth, and embrace the unknown to live a non-anxious life.

  Even after achieving significant milestones in life, such as selling a business, it's essential to continue dreaming about the future and seeking new tools to help navigate it. The conversation between Larry and Kelly on the John DeBono Show highlights the importance of taking a break from the day-to-day grind and investing in personal growth. They acknowledge that their lives will be chaotic with young children but remain optimistic and excited about the future. The Avett Brothers song "I Am Loving You" echoes this sentiment, encouraging listeners to cut ties, jump tracks, and seek new experiences. Overall, the message is to not let fear or anxiety hold you back from embracing the unknown and living a non-anxious life.