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    What Is Compatibility? with Priya Ashra from Indian Matchmaking

    enMay 26, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Exploring Sexual Experiences and Desires of British Asian Women through 'Brown Girls Do It Too'The podcast 'Brown Girls Do It Too' fosters open conversations about sex and relationships within the British Asian community, addressing traditional values, cultural norms, and personal experiences with matchmaking and dating apps.

      The podcast "Brown Girls Do It Too" explores the sexual experiences and desires of British Asian women through raw and honest conversations. During an episode, the hosts discussed their experiences with matchmaking, leading them to interview Priya Ashra from the popular Netflix show "Indian Matchmaking." While some found Ashra's approach and personality problematic, others saw her as a reflection of traditional values and cultural norms. The hosts also shared their own struggles with dating and the limitations of dating apps. Overall, the podcast encourages open and candid discussions about sex and relationships within the British Asian community.

    • Assumptions and expectations in datingUnderstanding personal preferences and trusting a matchmaker's expertise are crucial for successful dating in your thirties.

      Dating in one's thirties can be a learning experience full of trial and error. The speaker shares an amusing anecdote about making assumptions about a potential match based on her assumptions about her auntie's hobbies. However, the importance of physical appearance, such as good looks and hair, also plays a role in the speaker's criteria for a partner. The popularity of shows like "Indian Matchmaking" can lead to recognition in public, which can be both bizarre and flattering. Ultimately, the speaker emphasizes the importance of a matchmaker understanding and prioritizing one's preferences to find a compatible match.

    • Finding a partner through emotional maturity and physical attractionBe authentic and find a partner who values emotional maturity and shares physical attraction for a successful relationship.

      Emotional maturity and physical attraction were key factors for the speaker in her dating journey. She was specifically drawn to a man named Wim, who grew his hair into a man bun during the lockdown, and she appreciated his emotional maturity and authenticity. The speaker felt self-conscious about dating on TV but decided to be herself, leading to a successful relationship. Auntie Sima, the speaker's matchmaker, focuses on astrology and only matches Hindu clients. The speaker jokingly suggested that she could be a "woke" version of Auntie Sima as a matchmaker. Overall, the speaker emphasized the importance of being true to oneself in dating and finding a partner who shares emotional maturity and physical attraction.

    • Aim for a match with 60-70% of your most important qualitiesFocus on finding a partner who aligns with most of your key desires, recognizing that no one is perfect and that we're all works in progress

      It's unrealistic to expect to find a perfect partner who fulfills all of our non-negotiable requirements. Instead, we should aim for a match who aligns with around 60-70% of our most important qualities. This idea, as shared by a friend and popularized in a TV show, acknowledges that no one is perfect and that we ourselves are works in progress. Additionally, it's essential to be self-aware and honest about what we truly desire in a partner and to ensure that we're in a good place within ourselves before seeking a relationship. This approach allows us to approach dating with a more realistic and open mindset.

    • Understanding the significance of cultural practices in relationshipsCultural practices like arranged marriages and matchmaking offer unique benefits and deep understanding of individuals, leading to successful relationships. Astrology and face reading add extra consideration and can enhance the success of the match.

      Cultural practices, such as arranged marriages and matchmaking, can provide unique benefits and should not be dismissed without understanding their significance. These practices often involve a deep understanding of individuals and their compatibility, which can lead to successful relationships. Additionally, the use of astrology and face reading in the matchmaking process adds an extra layer of consideration and can potentially enhance the success of the match. Ultimately, these practices are an integral part of many communities and should be respected and appreciated for their rich history and potential benefits. The speaker's personal experience of using a matchmaker led her to appreciate the value of these practices and to see the potential for successful relationships that may not have been possible through traditional dating apps.

    • Deepen connections through authentic communicationCommunication and psychological safety are vital for long-term relationships. Be open, honest, and find a partner who values your authenticity.

      Authentic connection and effective communication are crucial elements in a successful relationship. The initial excitement and chemistry are important, but they are not enough to sustain a long-term partnership. It's essential to have deeper conversations and feel a sense of psychological safety with your partner. Compatibility goes beyond physical appearance and includes having a good communicator as a top priority. Bringing up potential deal-breakers early on and having an open and honest dialogue can prevent misunderstandings and save time and energy in the long run. It's essential to be true to yourself and find someone who respects and values your honesty, even if it may be uncomfortable at times.

    • Finding a Partner: Personal Preferences and Non-Negotiable QualitiesSeek a partner who is politically aware, self-aware, confident, and has a compatible lifestyle. Complement each other's energies and values, share ambition, and have interesting social circles. Be aware of red flags and avoid being hoodwinked.

      As we navigate through life and relationships, we each have unique preferences and non-negotiable qualities we look for in a partner. This person shared her personal list, which includes qualities like being politically aware, self-aware, confident, and having a compatible lifestyle. She emphasized the importance of complementing each other's energies and values, as well as having a shared sense of ambition and interesting social circles. The list also highlights the importance of being aware of red flags, such as being too good-looking or coming from a dysfunctional family, and avoiding being hoodwinked. Ultimately, the goal is to find a partner who knows themselves, complements us, and supports our lifestyle choices.

    • Finding a partner with compatible values and lifestyle is crucial for a successful relationship.Balancing emotional and practical needs, discussing goals and aspirations, and being open-minded can help overcome potential incompatibilities in relationships.

      Compatibility in a relationship goes beyond just emotional needs and includes practical considerations such as lifestyle, family values, and financial stability. Emotional and practical needs should ideally be balanced. It's important to ask potential partners about their goals and aspirations, as well as their willingness to adapt to cultural differences. Money and financial stability are also crucial factors, as earning potential and financial aspirations can impact the dynamics of a relationship. Ultimately, finding a partner who aligns with your values and lifestyle is key to a successful and fulfilling relationship. Additionally, being open-minded and willing to compromise on certain aspects can help overcome potential incompatibilities. Lastly, while some people believe in destiny or kismet, others believe that timing and alignment of personal circumstances play a significant role in successful relationships.

    • Believe in the power of opportunities and timingActively pursue opportunities, embrace rejection, trust in the interconnectedness of all things, believe in manifestation, and have faith in the natural order of things.

      While there may be elements of destiny or fate in our lives, it's important to actively put ourselves out there and take opportunities when they present themselves. Rejection is a natural part of the process, and it's essential to understand that it's not always about us. We should also believe in the power of timing and the interconnectedness of all things. Manifestation can also play a role in our lives, as we can attract opportunities by focusing our energy and desires on them. Ultimately, we should have faith that whatever is meant to happen will happen, and trust in the natural order of things. Believing in a higher power or the beauty of nature can also provide a sense of peace and connection to the world around us.

    • Embracing Fear and Rejection in DatingAccept rejection as natural part of dating, grow thick skin, and embrace fear to increase chances of finding meaningful connections.

      Embracing fear and rejection is an essential part of the dating process. The speakers shared their experiences and encouraged listeners to accept rejection as a natural part of dating, rather than trying to avoid it. They suggested sitting with the fear, growing thick skin, and even initiating rejection yourself. The speakers also shared their belief that everyone, including famous celebrities like Beyonce, experiences rejection, and that it's important to remember that everyone has their unique personalities and quirks, even if they may not always show them publicly. Ultimately, the key is to embrace the fear and keep trying, as the potential rewards of finding a meaningful connection are worth the effort.

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