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    Your Orgasmic Potential with Xanet Pailet

    enNovember 03, 2017

    Podcast Summary

    • The Magic Wand: Iconic Vibrator with Powerful RumbleThe Magic Wand vibrator, a cultural icon, offers powerful vibrations and versatility with various versions available, including wireless, mini, micro, and plush. Promescent's line of pleasure enhancing products can also help enhance experiences during summer months.

      The Magic Wand vibrator, often referred to as the "Cadillac of vibrators," is a cultural icon and symbol of unapologetic pleasure. First introduced decades ago, it's earned accolades and a loyal following due to its powerful rumble and versatility. Today, there are various versions available, including wireless, mini, micro, and plush, all retaining the original's powerful vibrations. Additionally, Promescent's line of pleasure enhancing products, such as delay spray and warming arousal gel, can help enhance sexual experiences for both men and women during the summer months. Overall, these products embody the spirit of embracing pleasure and overcoming any obstacles that may hinder it.

    • Subscribe to 'Sex with Emily' for access to practical exercises and a supportive communitySubscribing to 'Sex with Emily' podcast provides automatic access to new episodes, practical exercises, and a supportive community for improving sex life. Janae Palette's book 'Living an Orgasmic Life' offers tools for addressing sexual pain and low libido.

      Subscribing to a podcast like "Sex with Emily" can make a significant difference in your life, even if it seems insignificant at first. By subscribing, you'll receive new episodes automatically, allowing you to easily pick up where you left off and gain access to practical exercises for improving your sex life. Social media is also a great resource for connecting with the host and other listeners, but for longer questions or in-depth conversations, it's best to use email or a website. Janae Palette, a guest on the show, shares her personal journey of overcoming a sexless marriage and painful sex through her book "Living an Orgasmic Life." Her experiences and the practical exercises in her book can help those who feel disconnected from their bodies and sexuality, and she's passionate about helping people reclaim their pleasure and transform their relationships. If you're dealing with sexual pain or low libido, Janae's book is an excellent resource with tools to address these issues.

    • Discovering sexual fulfillment after feeling disconnectedExplore deeper emotional issues and needs to reconnect with your sexuality and find fulfillment in your relationships

      Many people, especially women, may experience disconnection in their sexual relationships, leading to feelings of unhappiness and dissatisfaction. This disconnection can manifest in various ways, such as a lack of desire or inability to achieve orgasm. The root cause of this disconnection can be complex, often stemming from deeper emotional issues or unmet needs. In some cases, it may be due to a lack of communication or intimacy between partners. The interviewee's story highlights how she felt disconnected in her marriage despite having a seemingly perfect life, leading her to explore her sexuality and ultimately find fulfillment through self-discovery and connection with others. Living an orgasmic life, as the title of her book suggests, means embracing the flow of sexual energy and allowing oneself to fully experience pleasure and connection. To achieve this, it's essential to understand and address the reasons behind our disconnection from our bodies and our partners.

    • Understanding the differences in female and male sexual arousalWomen can reconnect with their sexuality through practices like Kegels, meditation, and deliberate breathing, while societal shame and past traumas can contribute to disconnection and shut down.

      Women and men experience sexual arousal and desire differently due to biological and societal factors. Women are more likely to be preprogrammed to say no due to societal shame, and their arousal often lags behind their desire. Additionally, women's sexual organs are internal, leading to a disconnect between their mind and body. Men, on the other hand, have their arousal equipment externally and are more physically aware of sensation and excitement. Women can begin to reconnect with their sexuality through practices like Kegel exercises, meditation, and deliberate breathing, which can help awaken the pelvic floor and increase overall awareness of the body. Trauma and early experiences can also contribute to disconnection and shut down, highlighting the importance of addressing these issues as well.

    • Understanding the Impact of Childhood and Early Sexual Experiences on Our Sexual BlueprintExploring childhood and early sexual experiences can help us create a healthier sexual blueprint and improve our connection to ourselves and our partners during intimacy.

      Our pelvic area, including the uterus, ovaries, and vagina, is often referred to as a woman's second heart and second brain. It's a source of love, wisdom, and emotions, deeply connecting us to our experiences and our bodies. Being disconnected from this area can impact our sexual experiences and overall well-being. Our relationship with sex is influenced by messages we received as children and our early sexual experiences. Uncovering these experiences and understanding their impact can help us create a healthier sexual blueprint and improve our connection to ourselves and our partners during intimacy.

    • Childhood trauma impacts sexual development and experiencesChildhood traumas can complicate sexual experiences and development, affecting pleasure and causing anxiety. Healing from these traumas is essential for healthy sexual experiences.

      Many people's sexual experiences and development can be impacted by childhood trauma. The speaker shared her experience of growing up with emotional shutdown due to past traumas, which affected her ability to feel sexual pleasure even when she started having sex in college. She also recalled an early experience of feeling good when her dog licked her pussy, but was anxious about it due to societal norms and the fear of getting caught. This anxiety coupled with pleasure further complicated her relationship with her sexuality. The speaker also mentioned that many people, including men, have sexual traumas that go unaddressed, and healing from these traumas is crucial for healthy sexual experiences.

    • Understanding the connection between anxiety, shame, and pleasureShame can be a barrier to experiencing pleasure and having fulfilling sex and relationships. Normalizing these feelings and talking about them can help in the healing process.

      Anxiety and shame can be intertwined with pleasure, particularly in the context of sexual experiences. This can lead to repressed memories and a fear or aversion to certain activities. Shame can be a significant barrier to experiencing pleasure and having fulfilling sex and relationships. It's essential to normalize these feelings and talk about them to begin the healing process. A powerful way to overcome shame is to acknowledge and understand that it's a common experience and that it doesn't define us. For instance, a woman in a sexuality workshop shared how she associated pleasure with anxiety and fear from a childhood experience. By talking about it, she was able to release the shame and understand that it was a normal part of her past. It's important to remember that experiencing shame doesn't make us abnormal or sick. It's just a part of being human. So, if you're struggling with shame around sex or relationships, know that you're not alone, and there are ways to work through it.

    • Embracing Pleasure Despite ShameReleasing shame through awareness, acknowledgement, sharing stories, and breathwork can lead to increased pleasure and improved sex lives.

      Our innate birthright is to experience pleasure, but shame around sexuality, often learned at a young age, can prevent us from fully embracing it. Shame is insidious and can make us unable to talk about it, but releasing it through awareness, acknowledgement, and sharing stories with trusted individuals can lead to increased pleasure and improved sex lives. Breathwork and body acceptance are also essential components of this process. Remember, we all have the potential for a rich and fulfilling sexual experience, and it's never too late to start the journey towards reclaiming that potential.

    • Embrace your body and let go of shame for deeper intimacyTo enhance intimacy, women should accept their bodies, set aside time for self-care, communicate openly with partners, and focus on present moment pleasure.

      Women often struggle to fully embrace their bodies and experience pleasure during intimacy due to feelings of shame and self-consciousness. To overcome this, it's important for women to accept their bodies and let go of the need to constantly please others. This can involve setting aside time for self-care and pleasure, removing external pressures like clocks, and communicating openly with partners about desires and boundaries. By focusing on the present moment and allowing ourselves to fully experience pleasure, we can deepen our connections and enhance our overall well-being. Additionally, it's essential to recognize that we deserve pleasure and that our partners want to please us, rather than feeling like we're taking up time or space. By embracing these principles, we can shift our mindset and fully engage in intimate experiences with confidence and joy.

    • Exploring sexual energy through simple practicesUsing breath and touch can enhance intimacy and sexual experiences by connecting individuals to their sexual energy, inspired by tantra

      Using simple tools like breath and sound can help individuals get out of their heads and into their bodies, enhancing intimacy and sexual experiences. This principle is inspired by tantra, which encourages the circulation of sexual energy throughout the body. Tantra doesn't have to be time-consuming or complicated; an easy exercise to try involves rubbing hands together to generate heat and then sensing the energy between them without touching. This connection to sexual energy can lead to intense and powerful experiences during sex, even without physical contact.

    • Exploring intimacy through breathwork and soundPracticing intimate connections through activities like breathwork and sound exploration can lead to powerful energetic experiences, helping individuals unlock sensations and feelings in their bodies, leading to greater intimacy and orgasmic bliss. Embrace unique sounds during these exercises and let go of shame.

      Practicing intimate connections through activities like breathwork and sound exploration can lead to powerful energetic experiences. During a retreat, the speaker experienced this firsthand through a masculine-feminine exercise, where partners breathed and made deep guttural sounds together, aligning their energy centers and moving sexual energy. This type of work, often referred to as tantra, can help individuals unlock sensations and feelings in their bodies, leading to greater intimacy and orgasmic bliss. The speaker also emphasized the importance of embracing one's unique voice and sounds during these exercises, as opposed to trying to mimic porn star sounds or feeling shame about making noise. Additionally, the speaker offers sex and intimacy coaching, both in-person and online, and teaches an online class called "The Empowered Women's Guide to Orgasmic Bliss."

    • Join a community and learn to love your body for more pleasureThrough a combination of self-study, group teaching, and laser coaching, the Power of Pleasure class helps women address shame, explore erotic fantasies, and learn to love their bodies for increased pleasure using exercises and tantra principles.

      The Power of Pleasure 8-week class at powerofpleasure.com offers a combination of self-study home videos, group teaching, and laser coaching for women to address their struggles with sexual pleasure. The group component provides a safe space for women to open up and realize they're not alone, leading to a sense of relief and community. The class covers exercises to address shame, explore erotic fantasies, and learn to love one's body through self-practices. The importance of loving and exploring every part of the body, not just the genitals, is emphasized. The class also incorporates principles of tantra to help women unleash trapped energy and increase pleasure. The practices taught in the class can lead to more pleasure in life and help women understand their turn-ons, potentially leading to more satisfying sex. The class aims to make these practices accessible and easy to incorporate into daily life.

    • Expert Janae Palette emphasizes emotional healing for better orgasmsAddress emotional wounds for improved sexual experiences, check out Janae Palette's book 'Living an Orgasmic Life' for valuable insights, and support its publication through preorder.

      Both men and women have immense orgasmic potential, and sexual issues like erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation often stem from emotional wounds or feelings of disempowerment. Janae Palette, an expert on living an orgasmic life, emphasizes the importance of addressing these emotional aspects to improve sexual experiences. She also encourages everyone to check out her book, "Living an Orgasmic Life," which offers valuable information for men and women alike. The book's publication is being crowdfunded through Publishizer, so preordering the book can help ensure it reaches a wider audience. To ask questions or submit them via email, listeners can text "ask emily" to 797-979 or use the "ask emily" tab on sexwithemily.com.

    • Understanding attachment styles and healing from past relationshipsSeek professional help, work through past wounds, and communicate openly with partners to build confidence, self-love, and deeper intimacy in casual dating.

      Approaching casual dating and managing attachment issues can be challenging for some individuals, especially after experiencing emotional or mental abuse in past relationships. It's essential to check in with oneself and consider seeking professional help, such as therapy or sex coaching, to understand the underlying causes of attachment styles and learn techniques for building confidence and self-love. Additionally, taking the time to work through past relationship experiences and healing from any wounds is crucial before engaging in casual sexual encounters. Effective communication with partners is also vital, as discussing any triggers or concerns openly and honestly can lead to deeper intimacy and mutual understanding.

    • Prioritize your own pleasure during sexConsidering your own sensation and pleasure during sex can lead to a more enjoyable experience for both partners. Communication and open conversations about sex are essential.

      Focusing on your own pleasure during sexual acts, such as giving a blowjob, can be a powerful shift in perspective. Often, women are socialized to prioritize their partner's pleasure over their own, leading to an obligation-based approach. However, considering the sensation and pleasure derived from the act for oneself can lead to a more enjoyable experience for both partners. This concept may be new for some men, but it creates a beautiful circuit of pleasure when both partners are experiencing pleasure. Communication and open conversations about sex with your partner are also crucial in addressing any concerns or issues in the relationship.

    • Open and honest communication is key to a satisfying sex lifeHaving conversations around sex without judgment or shame can lead to a more fulfilling and enjoyable sex life. Practice makes perfect, and communication is 'lubrication'.

      Open and honest communication is crucial for a healthy and satisfying sex life. The speaker emphasizes the importance of having conversations around sex without judgment or shame, and suggests playing a game where each partner writes down their desires to facilitate an easier conversation. The speaker also acknowledges that initiating such conversations can be scary and difficult, but with practice, it can become as natural as discussing other aspects of life. The importance of communication is summed up with the phrase "communication is lubrication." The speaker also shares some personal experiences and answers quickie questions about turn-ons, turn-offs, and favorite body parts. Overall, the message is that having open and honest conversations about sex can lead to a more fulfilling and enjoyable sex life.

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    056 Chat with DK Green, What is Taboo?

    Joining me to discuss today's juicy topic is DK Green, a Psychotherapist, Counsellor, Speaker, and Author. He primarily works with GSRD (gender, sex, relationship diversity), CNM, kink, tantra, consensual non-monogamy, and sex workers both in his therapy room and as an educator. 

    Our conversation revolves around  the nuances of taboo depending on cultural and religious conditioning, and what is considered taboo in western civilizations. We talk about consensual non-consent sex, breath play, and the fantasies around incest, bestiality, scat golden showers, feet fetish. We also explore the intimate relationship between taboo and fantasy, role play, and the pleasure and turn-ons performing a sex act considered taboo. 

    What You Will Learn In This Episode:

    - The broad spectrum of what people consider taboo in sex

    - The psychological minefield we enter when we allow ourselves to play with taboo

    - The three big no’s in sex and why for some people it is a turn-on to play with them

    - The crucial role of negotiation and communication when playing with taboo in consensual sexual relations

    - How playing with taboo can be part of a healing process

    - The aftercare for the receiving, and the active component in fantasies like rape play or domination 

    Leaving aside the three big no’s of sex, the definition of taboo will be very different for a traditional married couple and for someone who is into kink. Still, the curiosity of playing with boundaries suggests a desire for exploration, and when we allow ourselves to explore, to move towards the new and unfamiliar, the closer we get to the juiciness of sex. 

    Resources:

    - The Festival of Sexuality: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/festival-of-sexuality 

    - DK Green’s Website http://www.dkgreen.com

    - Learn more about DK Green’s offers   https://linktr.ee/DKLeather

    - Connect with DK Green dkgreen1967@gmail.com 

    - Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

    - Book: Rebecca Lowrie - The Sexual Alchemy Journal for Men: 6 Weeks to Discovering and Embracing Your Full Sexual Self: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop/p/sexualalchemyjournalformen 

    - The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

    - Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

    - Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

    - My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

    - My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

    - Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

    - Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/ 

    - Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

    - Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

    099 Sexual Alchemy Is Not Just For Sexual Issues

    099 Sexual Alchemy Is Not Just For Sexual Issues

    You don't need to have a sexual issue to learn and practice sexual alchemy. In today's episode, I invite you to explore the possibilities that working with a sexual alchemist can provide. 

    I talk about what's beyond my healing work, the deeper connection you can create with your sensual, sexual self, and the multiple benefits of nurturing that bond. You'll learn what it is like to let yourself go into the realm of sexual alchemy, and how it can change your relationship with sex and your sexual life.

    What You Will Learn In This Episode:

    • What sexual alchemy is all about and how it can serve you
    • What changes you can expect from practising sexual alchemy
    • The role of a sexual alchemist, and how they can help you connect with your sexual self
    • What it means to "do the sexual alchemy work"
    • Why sexual alchemy work is considered a partnership

    Sexual alchemy work is not just about sexual healing, nor is it something personal. It is not between a healer and a wounded; it is much bigger than that. It is about evolving consciousness; it is about being at the service of something higher than any individual. It is a sacred collaboration to bring particular energies and frequencies to the present moment and nurture our sexual selves with them. 

    Resources mentioned:

    055 Chat with Artemisia de Vine, The Psychology Behind Your Turn-ons

    055 Chat with Artemisia de Vine, The Psychology Behind Your Turn-ons

    We have an exceptional guest for today's episode, Artemisia de Vine. She is a retired sex worker, somatic sexologist, erotic choreographer, artist, writer, speaker, trainer, and Founder of The deVinery: Artemisia's School of The Erotic. 

    Artemisia specializes in the psychology of what turns us on, how to play with it purposely, and explore the places we go inside ourselves when we do it. We delve into her mind-boggling work, her past experiences as a sex worker, and how she transitioned from master practitioner to teacher. Artemisia also shares details of how she navigates her unique art and reads the psychology behind each person's turn-ons. 

    What You Will Learn In This Episode:

    - Why Artemisia decided to go through the sex worker path, and what amazing discoveries she made in the process

    - The relationship between vulnerability, arousal and the sexual flow state

    - Why guilt usually gets in the middle of giving and receiving pleasure

    - Why we can't experience our turn-ons freely unless we move our consciousness from our ego

    After co-creating thousands of erotic experiences for her clients, Artemisia got intrigued by the safety switch that made people free themselves, be vulnerable and dive into pleasure. Then she started working with desire itself and decided to start helping people interact with that part of them that creates their turn-ons.

    Resources:

    - Find out more about how you can learn techniques, hear stories, get private coaching and become a member of The deVinery! There is even an upcoming workshop on Sex, Power and Consciousness. https://artemisia-de-vine.mykajabi.com/Explore-More

    - The Festival of Sexuality: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/festival-of-sexuality 

    - Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

    - Book: Rebecca Lowrie - The Sexual Alchemy Journal for Men: 6 Weeks to Discovering and Embracing Your Full Sexual Self: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop/p/sexualalchemyjournalformen 

    - The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

    - Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

    - Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

    - My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

    - My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

    - Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

    - Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/ 

    - Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

    - Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/