A Cure for the Common Craig

Beware the beat of the cloth-wrapped feet! From tombs beneath the scorching desert sand, it's a four-way battle to the death! Which movie endures the curse and earns the right to be called The Mummy?

Contender 1: The Mummy (1932). Boris Karloff, fresh off of his sensational performance as Frankenstein's monster a year earlier, has become THE theatrical attraction for Universal Pictures! So why not dig up another role for the uncanny Karloff? But since Bela Lugosi had already delivered as the world's most famous vampire, how about a Dracula-like tale of another cursed creature who rises from a tomb?

Contender 2: The Mummy (1959). Not to be outdone, Hammer Films were on a roll with their own interpretations of colorful classic monsters. Their early horrors seemed most effective when starring Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, which should be a given. But the behind the camera pairing of director Terence Fisher and writer Jimmy Sangster owe a great deal to the quality and success, as well.

Contender 3: The Mummy (1999). We jump ahead forty years, to an Indiana Jones-inspired adventure movie, with 90s-perfected CGI special effects. But how well do those visual effects hold up more than twenty years later? It does seem as though the new millennium era cast of attractive young faces, led by Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, and Arnold Vosloo, may be the only visuals that many viewers are concerned about.

Contender 4: The Mummy (2017). It was supposed to be a new launching point for Universal's attempt at a classic monster-filled cinematic "Dark Universe." But even the star power of Tom Cruise and Russell Crowe could not prevent this from becoming a critical and financial failure. Is this new tale, which seems to want to incorporate some of the 1999 film's adventure elements, with the wrinkle of a female mummy, really as bad as its reputation would have you believe?

Time to wrap up our little horror vacation to Mexico, but we've saved two of the best for last! Both featuring children as the primary characters. Along with a Mexican movie set in France and filmed in English. Madness, you say? You would not be wrong.

And with madness we begin! We visit a sanatorium, curious about the methods the doctor uses to treat his patients. However, it does not take longer than a few short minutes to realize that the patients may actually be running the asylum. You too may require treatment for your own mental illness, that develops from having viewed The Mansion of Madness (1973)!

We spend a little more time with Carlos Enrique Taboada, as he delivers an absolute treasure of a film. Two girls in need of friendship, find each other and seem to make a connection. Though they may not be the best fit, as manipulation and blackmail do not seem to make for lasting relationships. A character piece, with a phenomenal pair of young actors, Poison for the Fairies (1986) is essential slow-burn horror, paying off with a disturbing finale.

And then from there, orphaned children from the violent streets of Mexico, are aided by vengeful supernatural forces, in their quest for revenge against the gang leaders who took their families from them. Again, incredible child actors make this movie a very special experience, as writer/director Issa Lopez delivers a tale of modern urban horror in Tigers Are Not Afraid (2017).

Yo, yo, yo, let me speak on this! Orale! Arriba la raza! Join us as we hope to regale you with discussions of our movie experiences from our vacation to Mexico! There seems to be some debate as to whether or not we actually physically went to Mexico, but this episode covers four of the experiences that we claim to have had, so we'll just let you decide. Folklore, ghosts, the struggle for eternal life, and an odd phenomenon in a bus station!

First a bit of classic horror, featuring one of the most infamous legends of Mexican folklore. This has been a popular character to be utilized on film in more recent years, including a movie set in The Conjuring universe. However, this version is billed as the first sound horror film in Mexican history. And with a character known as the wailing woman, this is definitely a good use of that sound! Beware the curse of La Llorona (1933)!

A boarding school girl hears her name on the wind, and dreams of a tower on campus that is off-limits to the students. When the tower door is suddenly unlocked, a group of girls who are forced to remain at school during vacation as a disciplinary measure, become very curious about a rumored happening that once took place in the forbidden structure. You know that things are going to get a little spooky when Even the Wind is Afraid (1968)!

A mysterious device created by an alchemist becomes the centerpiece of a story with ties to one of the most familiar sub-genres of horror. Sought after by those who desire its power, the device falls into the hands of an unsuspecting antique dealer, and he soon discovers that he may not be able to live without it. It's Guillermo del Toro's feature film directorial debut, Cronos (1993).

And then from there, a remote bus station outside of Mexico City welcomes a gathering of strangers during a torrential downpour in 1968. But one individual is singled out as a villain, as it seems he may be responsible for a rather odd series of occurrences involving the physical appearance of the others. What the hell is going on in The Similars (2015)?

Let's face it, the entire podcast is a nightmare for Nicole. But this one in particular, is all about nightmares. One of the most iconic horror characters of all time, is finally featured on the podcast. Of course, after seeing the intro, I had to drag Nicole out of the garage, stalling her progress on the creation of her own clawed glove. I haven't seen a hat or a red and green striped sweater, so I may be safe. But those Elm Street kids? Not so much. Freddy Krueger and his seven minutes of screen time may just prove to be more than they can handle, in A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984).

And then from there, a little bonus coverage from the same year in cinema. A movie that is seemingly unrelated, but manages to share a few elements. Coincidence? Well, a young Dennis Quaid is conned into using his psychic abilities in a dream-manipulation study, rather than gambling at the track. But you know that as soon as the government gets involved, they're immediately going to want to harness these powers as a weapon, in Dreamscape (1984).

Things are heating up, summer is almost here, and it seems like the perfect time for some exciting reptile action on the podcast! You know what that means? It's time for a long overdue return to one of the favorites, Adorable Animals All-Out Attack! It's GATOR TIME!

First up, urban legend becomes reality! Did you ever have a baby alligator as a pet when you were a child? And now that you've grown, are you a herpetologist? But most importantly, did that baby alligator ever get flushed down a toilet? Because if it did, thanks a lot. It now lives in a Missouri sewer system and it's eating people! And sometimes crashing weddings. Where it also eats people. Such is life for Ramon the alligator, in the creature feature classic, Alligator (1980)!

When you got that swimming scholarship to the University of Florida, did you ever think that you would be trying to outswim gators? Inside of a house. Probably not. But when a hurricane hits home, the levees break, and your father foolishly did not evacuate the area, you may find yourself in these types of predicaments. Oh, and there's a crawlspace. Which is why this movie is called Crawl (2019).

And then from there, the Common Craig basically just carries on about how much he loves actor Steve Railsback, because there's really not that much else to talk about regarding Alligator II: The Mutation (1991).

It's time to wrap up Paramount's original run with the Friday the 13th franchise. And while the potential to tell some interesting stories was there, they certainly failed to deliver. Get ready to suffer through parts 7 & 8! It's Friday the 13th: The Episode, Part 5!

First up, it's Jason versus Carrie! But her name is Tina. And her mother's 80s hair is absolutely intolerable. Thankfully, Kane Hodder, in his first appearance as Jason, hates her hair, too. Gear up for a sleeping bag bashing good time, as frog-face Jason takes on a telekinetic teenager! It's Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)!

And then from there, Jason somehow sails a yacht out of Crystal Lake, to the mountainous Atlantic shoreline of New Jersey! What? And then he takes Manhattan, of course. For all of about three minutes. Set a course for adventure, in Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)!

It's that time again. The halfway point to the most wonderful time of the year. Michael Myers returns! And then he doesn't. We'll explain. Gather round, children. Put on your Silver Shamrock masks and listen.

The first Halloween (1978) was such a huge success, that it spawned seemingly countless imitations. Can the first sequel match the power of the original? Or is it standard slasher fare, with more death due to an expanded cast, who become fodder for Michael? Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Pleasence are together again in Halloween II (1981)!

And then what is this? Michael Myers does not appear in the next movie in the series? Afraid not. In a total departure, a small town novelty company seems to have rather nefarious Halloween plans.  What do Stonehenge, robots, jack-o'-lanterns, skeletons, witches, Tom Atkins, and television commercials have in common? Well, this movie. That's pretty much it. Happy, happy Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982), from Silver Shamrock!

Reb Brown returns to the podcast, a year after his astonishing debut as Yor! This time, he's receiving the full Actor Autopsy treatment. But does he have the opportunity to show off his acting chops, or just his chiseled physique?

First up, we have Bruno Mattei's version of Rambo. And when you can't get Stallone, Reb Brown seems like the obvious choice for option number two. Get ready for screaming monkeys, staredowns with cobras, shirtless Reb, headbutting standoffs, exploding mannequins, more shirtless Reb, popcorn trees, cotton candy mountains, a lot of wasted ammunition, and evidence of advances in Russian dentures, in Strike Commando (1986)!

You know those novelty energy plasma balls that were all the rage in the 80s? Well, this movie has a lot of them. And the filmmakers seem to be determined to bring back the hula hoop, by suggesting that it would make an irresistible accessory for erotic dance exhibitions. Yeah, other than Reb Brown, and poor Cameron Mitchell (in a bad Santa beard), those are the most interesting parts of Space Mutiny (1988).

And then from there, it's the revenge of Bruno Mattei! This time, we're subjected to the Italian version of a certain Schwarzenegger jungle romp, featuring a not-so human hunter, stalking its prey. And when you can't get Arnold, Reb Brown seems like the obvious choice for option number two. Get ready for severed limbs, melting corpses, and plenty of digital vocalizing, in Robowar (1988)!

The ultimate experience in grueling podcasting! Wow, I'm pretty confident that no one has ever thought to use that before. It's episode 72. Evil Dead 2 just had its 35th anniversary. So why not celebrate Bruce Campbell, Nicole's love for Ted Raimi, and Craig's love of bodily dismemberment?

We begin with the ultimate experience in creative, low budget horror filmmaking. Okay, so maybe the premise of five young people going to a cabin, and demonic possession isn't the most original idea ever. But The Evil Dead (1981) is easily the most straight horror entry of the series. And what the filmmakers lack in cash, is certainly more than compensated for in style.

In the sequel, Bruce Campbell's Ash finds himself in a cabin in the woods with his girlfriend, Linda. Wait. Again? Some other characters do show up, but it's the periods of manic solo performance by Bruce Campbell, that make Evil Dead II (1987), one of the most entertaining horror comedies of all time!

And then from there, we somehow end up in the year 1300 A.D., where Ash finds himself fulfilling a prophecy, as a would-be hero. But how long can he maintain his cocky facade, when faced with an evil duplicate of himself, leading the Army of Darkness (1992)?

With the winter season fading away, The Winter of Folk Horror is thawing along with it. And while you might think that we're going out with a winter whimper, covering only three titles, we're actually going out with a buttery bang! More on that shortly. But first, Finland. Reindeer are everywhere! And much to the Common Craig's dismay, Santa is nowhere to be found. But amongst all of these reindeer, it's that special white variety of which you may want to take notice. If not, you may just fall victim to its vampiric powers, in The White Reindeer (1952)! From snowy Finland, we travel to Oregon. And there we find one of the most hopeless, depressing towns in the history of cinema. The inhabitants are probably so despondent, because at any second they could become a meal for an ancient creature with ties to cannibalism. You know, I've heard nice things about Oregon, but Antlers (2021) may delay a visit even further. And then from there, on to Iceland and the terrifying aspect of livestock horror. Do you know where YOUR butter comes from? And how to reveal its potentially evil origin? If you're not sure how to answer those questions, you should probably listen to our discussion on Tilbury (1987). Until you do, stop licking that butter!

It's time for what is basically a return home for us. Witchcraft, religious cults, indigenous spirits, a cornfield deity. Pretty sure that your hosts probably had run-ins with all of those at some point in our youth, growing up in rural areas. We may as well start in New England, where a woman inherits some property, after the original heir dies in a fiery explosion. This area may have a little problem with witchcraft, but is that any reason to give up Crowhaven Farm (1970)? New England is a hotbed, let me tell you. Be careful when you buy that house, well below market value, in that quaint little village. The more secrets you unravel, the more intertwined your family may become, in The Dark Secret of Harvest Home (1978). Some families take marrying outside of their religion, or even thinking about it, very seriously. It might be a good idea to consider these things, or you could be tormented with spiders, snakes, and chickens! Don't fall victim to a Deadly Blessing (1981)! A goddess of the forest versus the devil witch of the valley? Mind-altering chemicals may be beneficial when you sit down, relax, and stare into the Eyes of Fire (1983)! Look, I know that kids can be somewhat impressionable, at times. But when some creepy new kid comes to town, telling all of the other kids that they have to slaughter the adults to appease a god in the cornfield, you may want to seek a second opinion. That's just life in Nebraska. At least it is in Children of the Corn (1984). Aggressive activist or mischievous spirit? Regardless, Graham Greene seems to have a great time taking things to the extreme, in Clearcut (1991).

It's time to jump into Nicole's invisible jet, for an Asian adventure, as we're desperate to experience the horrors of eastern folklore! Our first stop is an ANTHOLOGY DEATHMATCH in Japan! Vengeful hair, a mysterious woman, a blind musician, and some spooky tea, go head to head to see who reigns supreme in the classic, Kwaidan (1964)! Wow, I think that we're getting kind of tired of winter, though. Let's go someplace a little warmer, okay? We'll jump ahead to Holy Week in the Philippines, where there probably aren't any spirits of the dead possessing their living family members. Oh, I'm sorry, that's exactly what happens in Itim (1976). Then we may as well stop in Thailand, where some spouses are so loyal, that they just want to hang around, even when they're ghosts. Such is the sad case in Nang Nak (1999). And then from there, it's time for a visit to the jungles of Malaysia, where a little family is doing just fine. Until these devilish strangers keep showing up at their doorstep. And before they can do anything about it, their souls just may be in jeopardy, in Roh (2019).

Ah, it's time for a different kind of folk horror. Hide your pet chickens and goats, because we have four movies to discuss, involving Hoodoo, Voodoo, Santeria and maybe a taste of Satanism, as well.  Harry Angel, a private detective in 1955, is hired to track down an old crooner, who happens to owe a pretty serious debt. But Harry soon finds himself becoming the prime suspect for a series of murders, with unfamiliar religions and his own past bearing down on him, in Angel Heart (1987). A police psychiatrist becomes involved in an investigation of a number of cult-related child murders. Seeking allies and answers from the world of Santeria, he soon discovers that his own son may be the next target, in The Believers (1987). Dr. Alan, an anthropologist, is sent to Haiti to obtain a powder used to create zombies, in hopes of utilizing it as an anesthetic in modern medicine. But while on the trail of the powder, a sinister bokor wants to add Dr. Alan to his collection of souls, in Wes Craven's The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988). And then from there, it's a tale of infidelity and deceit, with voodoo lingering in the shadows. Experience the Southern Gothic world of Eve's Bayou (1997).

The Winter of Folk Horror continues, with a bubbling cauldron of films involving witchcraft, or that boil over into persecution of perceived supernatural abilities. When I see images from our first feature in this episode, they look so old, so authentic, that they MUST be real! But it's Satan's tongue that just may be the most memorable part of Haxan (1922)! If you're seemingly the lone uninhibited woman in a small Italian village, you may be better off exercising some restraint. And if you are practicing a few spells, you probably shouldn't reveal them to anyone, for fear of being being branded as Il Demonio (1963)! One of the most notorious witch-hunters in English history, is brought to the screen by Vincent Price, in perhaps his most vile performance. Your innocence will not save you, when Matthew Hopkins, Witchfinder General (1968), rides into town. Another infuriating travesty of justice transpires, when the accused are brought before a tribunal, with profit in mind. When these methods of torture are utilized, even the most strong-willed can crack under the weight of the Witchhammer (1970). And then from there, a superstitious mountain community has labeled Albrun and her mother as witches. But is there truth in their beliefs? Or does a form of madness take hold in the isolation, that is the only life Albrun has ever known? Get ready for our take on Hagazussa (2017).

The Winter of Folk Horror series begins. Part one of our celebration of folk horror, focuses on a reoccurring theme in the subgenre. People who are out their element, ultimately making poor choices, putting themselves in undesirable, usually unsafe, situations.  A woman finds herself seemingly being manipulated by the eccentric inhabitants of a small village. As they seem to be guiding her toward a potential mate, she becomes suspicious that her life may actually be at risk, in Robin Redbreast (1970). Edward Woodward is a police sergeant, investigating the disappearance of a young girl on the remote island of Summerisle. However, when Christopher Lee, the island's leader, and the rest of the locals seem completely unconcerned, it becomes evident that they have something special planned for an upcoming pagan celebration, in The Wicker Man (1973). How does a movie about a pair of hitmen find a way to cross over into the world of folk horror? Hey, you'll have to listen to us discuss Kill List (2011), to find out. A group of friends honor the memory of someone they've lost, by following through on a suggested hiking trip. But when they attempt a shortcut through an unfamiliar forest, they find themselves at the mercy of unknown forces, in The Ritual (2017). And then from there, in an attempt to rescue his kidnapped sister, a man finds himself infiltrating a religious island cult, who are holding her for ransom, in Apostle (2018).

Maybe it's your last day of work before the holidays. Or maybe you're traveling and you need something ridiculous to listen to while you're driving, or waiting in an airport. Never fear! A Cure for the Common Craig is here, with a year-end holiday treat for the listeners! Or is it? This movie doesn't exactly have a glowing reputation. But how can that possibly be the case? You have Stephen King directing, Emilio Estevez crawling through a sewer, the face of the Green Goblin on a truck, AC/DC rockin' on the soundtrack, and Yeardley Smith, the voice of Lisa Simpson, nagging her newlywed husband, all in one movie! Guns, explosions, death by steamroller! What could possibly go wrong? It's time for testosterone overload, with Maximum Overdrive (1986)! We even manage to work in a minor Emilio Estevez actor autopsy! Because we love him. And then from there, the episode ends. And you enjoy your year-end holiday stuff and stay safe, damn it!

Just when you think you've nearly reached the end of the year, and you're safe, nestled in your warm little beds, you remember that it's time for HO-HO-HOLIDAY HORROR! First up, a convict, in transport to be executed, finds his body genetically altered and combined with snow. And suddenly, we have a homicidal snowman seeking vengeance! Better keep the anti-freeze handy, Jack Frost (1997) is on a holiday rampage! Holiday traditions can be so nice. It's always wonderful to receive a unique and thoughtful gift from a friend. Just be careful if the gift happens to be an antique. Particularly if it's from Germany, it seems. If you play along nicely, you could be rewarded. But if you break the rules, you may end up dead, in The Advent Calendar (2021). And then from there, you may have heard whispers of its existence. About how awful it was. But how could this be? Did it really happen? Surely, it must have been a hallucination. But no. It's all too real. Chewbacca has a family. We SEE how they live! We watch Chewbacca's wife cook! We suffer through astonishingly bad musical interludes! Chewbacca's son has a stuffed bantha toy, and Imperial troops rip its head off! All of these horrors await you, in The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)!

It's alive! We return from our two week slumber, following the A-Z of Horror Festival, to bring you a special episode. It's time for the 90th Anniversary of a Universal Monsters classic. Get ready for a Boris Karloff and Frankenstein lovefest, as we go into depth on the original 1931 classic! And then from there, a little tease of what's to come on the podcast in the coming months.

If you've made it this far, you've arrived at the Final Chapter of the 17th Annual A-Z of Horror Festival. We're closing things out with a mainstream Hollywood hit, a 75-year-old chiller, a modern South Korean classic, incoherent anime, and exploitation trash that perhaps only the Common Craig could love. How about a nice, easy list of what movies we cover in the episode? Because I'm exhausted!

• A Quiet Place Part II (2021)
• REC 2 (2009)
• The Spiral Staircase (1946)
• Trilogy of Terror (1975)
• Uncle Was a Vampire (1959)
• Varan (1958)
• The Wailing (2016)
• X (1996)
• YellowBrickRoad (2010)
• The Zodiac Killer (1971)

And then from there, we look back at what we enjoyed and what we despised from the festival. Thanks for hanging out with us for another festival, listeners!

It's time to rejoin the October Halloween horror action, in progress, with part two of the 17th Annual A-Z of Horror Festival! If you could choose three people to hang out and have dinner with during the spooky season, Edgar Allan Poe, Roger Corman and Vincent Price would probably be ideal. Unless, of course, everything is literally crumbling down around you. Which certainly seems to be the case with the House of Usher (1960). Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi might take exception with not being invited, but they have their own problems to contend with in The Invisible Ray (1936). And it's sad, but Jennifer (1978) may not be an ideal guest for everyone, especially if she arrives with two handfuls of serpents. Or a giant snake emerges and bites someone's head off. That's probably going to ruin the evening. Poor Paul Bartel would enjoy a fine evening of dining, but he's obligated to attend the dreadful Killer Party (1986). Princess Lola, and her reluctant date, regret to inform you that they have a night of dancing and torture, which seems like a priority in The Loved Ones (2009). Should you invite Maddie? Well, it would probably be okay. Unless she starts having visions of death. And you see some creepy thing that seems to be running around backwards. If that happens, you may want to move to a different country, because things are about to get Malignant (2021)! You could invite Janet, but it's not her birthday. And let's be honest, she's not much fun unless someone is getting stabbed. Otherwise, her paranoia is kind of a Nightmare (1964). Holland and Niles probably wouldn't make the best guests. They won't wash their hands and wouldn't sit still long enough to actually eat or have a conversation. Plus, there seem to be a lot of unfortunate accidents while they're around, as evidenced in The Other (1972). And it's a good thing that it's not New Year's Eve. Not that you would necessarily anticipate anyone dying at the dinner party.  But if it happens, I suppose that you could always summon The Phantom Carriage (1921).