An Ounce

NO! If you want to get a Boo-boo face from a young child, that’s the word you use – NO. 

To the child it means they are not getting what they want, they’ve done something wrong, and they might even be in trouble. 

NO – whether we like it or not, we are conditioned from infancy to feel that the word NO like it’s a club smacking us over the head. Nobody ever wants to hear the word NO, nyet, uhn ah, nope, or anything like it. 

We associate it with mistakes, failure, anger, lost hopes, and crushed dreams. 

Even more than curse words and other colorful language, NO is the worst word in the world. And the only thing worse than one no, is hearing a string of no’s – Like – No, No, No, No, NO. 

This is the kind of thing we might hear, or say, when the world is coming to a literal end. 

However, I have recently begun to have a bit of an attitude change when it comes to no. 

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You know, those moments in life. The one’s where you can just stop, be in the now, and soak in the joy. No troubles, no pain, no loss, no worries. They don’t seem to last more than a moment or two. And then, in a twinkle, we are back in the real world. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just stay there, in that instant, where everything seems right. If we could just make it last. If we could just have a life that was set in a perfect utopia where everything is easy. Where there is no scarcity, no illness, no fear, or pain. 

Yeah! That would be awesome! -or would it? 

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 There are times when what we see right there in front of us tells a simple and clear story. The evidence in front of us is so certain, so obvious, it is easy to understand.

But, it’s always a good idea to look a little further. It might be the things you haven’t seen – that are very much a part of the story – that will complete the picture, and give you real understanding.  

Sometimes the hidden things, the ones you don’t see, make all the difference.
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Data Scientist, Steve Nouri, provided the following list of references.
Credits:
Wald, Abraham. Archived 2019-07-13 at the Wayback Machine. Center for Naval Analyses.

Wallis, W. Allen (1980). "The Statistical Research Group, 1942-1945: Rejoinder". Journal of the American Statistical Association.

"Bullet Holes & Bias: The Story of Abraham Wald". mcdreeamie-musing

"AMS :: Feature Column :: The Legend of Abraham Wald". American Mathematical Society

'How Not to Be Wrong' by Jordan Ellenberg (released in 2014)

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 Things change as we grow. 

The perspective and innocence of a child progresses to the all-knowing confidence of a teenager. And from there, the confusion of the 20 something trying to find a purpose, a career, a family, and a direction. In middle age, we seek that deeper peace and a meaning for life, as we look over our shoulders at what came before. Finally, we get to a point where - either everything begins to make more sense – or we are OK with the fact that it doesn’t – or both. 

Sometimes the transition from one part of life into another is a tad bumpy. 

You have the choice to try to fight the progression and change that comes with the passing of time – or acknowledge it, and work with it. 

But things will always change.

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Two similar events occurred, separated by over half a century. Both were devastating.

In one case, folks were just trying to go home. They didn’t want to hurt anyone. 

In the other, there was evil intent.

This story will leave you questioning the old adage which states, 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'.

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Commitment is an interesting thing. One can be “kinda” committed to a cause, and might even show up to be involved sometimes – if it’s convenient. But such is not real commitment. 

However, real and complete commitment is a dedication that just keeps trying. It never stops, it gives everything it has, there are no excuses. Being totally committed to something is powerful. 

 Until you dedicate yourself to something, important, good, and bigger than you – you will never become the person you could have been. You will never feel the joy you were meant to, and you may never come to know who you really are. 

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 I had a conversation the other day with someone. We spoke of our concern over the rising generations, and their inability to socialize. Everything for them now is online. It's virtual. In fact, in today’s world, if you’re not virtual, you’re not real. 

Well as a benefit to the socially handicapped, and a reminder to everyone else, we (my wife Tish and I) thought we’d share a few ideas on how to get a conversation going with a stranger – Yeah – scary right? 

But it can be amazingly fun 

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 We used to sardonically say, it’s all fun and games until somebody pokes an eye out. 

I suppose it was an unintentional nod to the fact that fun is often associated with the thrill of taking a chance, and facing danger, while protected from the real consequences. Otherwise, why do some of us love haunted houses, roller coasters, skydiving, and so many other sports and diversions that involve a perceived- and real- risk of injury and even death. 

I am not an expert.  Merely an observer of human behavior, so I’m not trying to psychoanalyze anyone. Just making an observation. 

Looking at history, even recent history, it is amazing that, in the toys we let our little ones play with, there may be rather serious hazards. Allow me to share some remarkable examples. 

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 In observing the situation, it was clear that the passenger was unhappy, but certainly not a threat. After all, how much fight could there possibly be in this little lass? The fact that she had already proven to be fiery was no longer evident. However, it quickly became clear that she knew how to take care of herself in a brawl. As all of a sudden what had appeared to be nothing more than a simple ‘Band-Aid’ call became very interesting. 

This pint-sized passenger began manhandling the two police officers sent to ‘calm’ the situation. She had to be forcefully subdued, cuffed, and taken to jail. [1] In this instance what William Shakespeare penned was accurate, “Though she be but tiny, she is fierce!” [2] 

[1] This event occurred in the mid-1990s during the career of the author with the Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority. The occurrence of similar events, in the terminals and on the aircraft, has become much more common over time.
[2] A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Scene II. Another part of the wood. William Shakespeare.

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 Maine Native, and Ship's Captain Hanson Crockett Gregory was a man’s man.  

As a very young man, he worked as a cabin boy, and in time became a well-respected Captain of his own ship. He sailed routes all around the world, from New England to California during the gold rush. And even around the infamous Cape Horn and the southern tip of Africa. 

Captain Gregory was notable as a hero for saving 7 Spanish sailors from a watery grave after their ship sank on the open sea. For this, he was recognized and earned honors from Queen Isabella the 2nd of Spain. 

But his notable seafaring career is not why he is remembered. 

His greatest distinction is because of something else. His renown is based on another set of skills not often associated with those who make their living on the seas. And, one for which there is nary a soul who has not been uplifted. 

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 Being misunderstood is pretty easy in this world. Even when we are clear and speak the same language. 

I don’t know, but if you are a politician, you might be doing this on purpose, and counting on having people hear a clear message you didn’t actually give. 

No matter what you say, or how ‘accurately’ you think you say it, even using mathematical precision. Someone will miss the point – hear something else – or just won’t ‘get it’. 

What is one to do? 

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 What is paradise to you? 

White sands and a blue ocean – Mountain peaks, pine trees, and smore’s – A quiet library surrounded by great books. 
Life can, and does, turn from one to the other – and contains both at the same time.  So, what are we to do? 

 The only thing we can – as a society and as individuals - Doggedly focus on the good that is, the possibilities of greatness that can be, and get a grasp on hope for the better part. 

Then, start where we are, work with what we have, and do what we can. 

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 At the end of the battle of Shiloh, a legend was born. A folk tale. Some might call it a miracle. The battle was fought on April 6th and 7th, 1862, when the confederate army launched an attack on the Union army. The confederates attacked from out of the woods, near the Shiloh church in Tennessee. And they just kept coming. 

The carnage continued for 2 days. Over 20,000 were killed or wounded. And many of the casualties were left piled up on the battlefield for days afterward, as those who were sorting the dead from the wounded, and treating the horrible injuries of war, were completely overwhelmed by the number. 

As litter bearers worked beyond exhaustion, as doctors pressed on frantically without sleep to and save just one more, and the wound soldiers themselves - they all saw the glow. 

This was no reflection, no artifact of frenzied and fatigued minds, it was an actual, perceivable, light illuminating the darkness and those horrible wounds. 

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 We go through life trying so hard to get things right. 

For example, you’d never want to confuse salt for sugar in your chocolate chip recipe.  And, forgetting to tighten up the lug nuts after changing a tire could be catastrophic as well. Or hitting the send button on that caustic email you composed out of frustration – it wouldn’t be the first time someone regretted that move. 

 But, not all mistakes are bad – if fact, some are downright splendid. 

This fact is proven by Erwin Perzey (with a little help from Thomas Edison)!

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As a passenger on the rapidly speeding, express train of life, are we aware of the sacrifices that were made to benefit our lives?

By soldiers, pioneers, and countless other committed souls who came before us, and choose to commit their honor and their lives to do what needed to be done.

There will always be ample reason for gratitude.

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Ever heard of Shavarsh Katapetyan? 

You might have. Shavarsh is a champion swimmer from the 1970s. His sport? As an athlete, he started as a gymnast then transitioned to Fin Swimming. 

Fin Swimming – I know – there are several sports we’ve perhaps never heard of that are quite popular elsewhere in the world. (Such as the rather ancient, but recently rediscovered sport of curling) 

 In 1976 Katapetyan, age 23, went for a 12-mile run – with 44 pounds of sand in his backpack. He had his coach and his brother running along with him. As they neared Lake Yerevan, they heard a loud pop – like an explosion, and then they watched as a trolley bus #15 rolled backwards into the lake – and sunk – with 92 people trapped inside. 

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None of us is going to escape facing things that will mightily try us.

But, if continue to breathe through them, anger, disappointment, broken hearts, frustration, and overwhelming disappointment, can all be overcome – in time. 

How do we go on when disappointment, despair, and anguish of so many kinds can - and do - find us? 

Along with whatever else you do may I suggest these four steps:

Step one is always the same – Breathe

Step two –greave if you need to. 

Step three - Wrestle your focus from the loss - and focus on what is good. Memories, experiences, friends and family, and other positive things can be lost from your sight for a little while – sometimes you may have to go and find them again – but they are there. 

Step 4 – Repeat as needed

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As babies, many of us had the privilege of being completely unaware of the efforts of others to keep us alive. Our understanding of dangers, political intrigue, war, and natural disasters, betrayal, was absolutely non-existent.

It took us years to mature and grow to the point of understanding the currency of the world – the currency of love was hopefully all we knew – and it was more than enough.

Yep – wouldn’t you love to go back to that blissful ignorance and complete lack of awareness that money was such a big part of life – even if we don’t want it to be.

The cost of financial ignorance is staggering.

The benefits of financial literacy are comforting – and incredibly empowering. You just need a chance to learn how money really works.

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This is a reformatted version of a story used in Season 2, Episode 13, I Don’t Know. 

I was sweating profusely. I couldn’t see a thing. My hands could feel the difference between rough or smooth, hot or cold. My heart was racing, breathing was hard – like sucking air through a straw.

My ears were full of so much noise I couldn’t hear what was being said – let alone say anything anyone could understand.

I was... confused, becoming frustrated. Panic was setting in, and my situation seemed hopeless.

 Suddenly, no matter how hard I tried, breathing became impossible. 

 And then, right there at that moment - I died.  Well – kind of. Either that or I had a rather miraculous recovery, as I am still alive.

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Something that seems to pervade almost every culture - and personality on this earth - is how much we hate to make mistakes. Reactions to ‘getting it wrong’ can go from completely ‘losing face’ to simple embarrassment or ridicule, loss of credibility, or standing with piers.

Sometimes, I fear it may be unfortunate we treat mistakes this way – as folks tend to have a hard time owning up to them. These responses to blunders often compound the damage or loss. Denying a misstep has occurred, or an error made, will make at best correction more difficult, and at worst may cost life or limb.

Here is a true story about a mother and father who made an error as they traveled across the country on an airplane with two kids – and what they did when they discovered their mistake.

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