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    [B]OLD AGE With Debbie Weil

    A podcast about (b)oldly moving from midlife to old age in a society that devalues and/or misunderstands what (b)old age is *really* like. Debbie, who is 72, explores that question in frank 30-minute conversations with a best-selling author, expert, or exceptional individual. With her guests she delves into the unretired (non-retired) life, slowing down, ageism, physical deterioration, grandparenting, intergenerational collaboration, grief and widowhood, and more. As well as other stuff that piques her interest: for example, the craft of writing. She invites her husband, Sam Harrington, on as a frequent guest. He’s a retired physician with a dry sense of humor and he makes her laugh. Debbie and Sam took a grownup gap year at age 61, leaving behind a professional life in Washington D.C. Now in their early 70s, they live a very busy "unretired" life on an island off the coast of Maine. Over 100 previous episodes at https://debbieweil.com/podcast MEDIA PARTNERS: Encore.org Modern Elder Academy (Formerly) Next For Me
    enDebbie Weil116 Episodes

    Episodes (116)

    Richard Eisenberg, Renowned Editor, on Taking Practical First Steps Into Unretirement

    Richard Eisenberg, Renowned Editor, on Taking Practical First Steps Into Unretirement

    Today, Debbie talks to Richard Eisenberg, a veteran journalist and author who has covered careers and personal finance for 40+ years. Richard recently "unretired," as he puts it, from his 10-year run as managing editor of Next Avenue, the comprehensive online news source for Boomer and Gen X Americans.

    As a journalist, he's made it his mission to cover money, work and purpose in a way that is useful and practical and lessens readers' stress. Debbie wondered how he would apply this approach to his own next chapter. Not surprisingly, he has a pragmatic plan for how to put together the pieces of "what’s next” for himself.

    He tells us that his unretired life will include some work - writing and editing - but as a freelance. He also wants to mentor, travel, and spend more time with his sons on the West Coast. That's the plan so far but how it will all fit together is yet to be seen.

    And that's a little scary.

    No matter.  As you’ll hear, Richard is okay with taking small steps and experimenting to find the right balance. In other words, he is practicing what he's been preaching to readers for decades. Debbie agrees with much of what Richard says so there’s not much drama in this episode but it’s a lovely and relaxed conversation.

    He and Debbie talk about the persistence of ageism in our society and the deeply entrenched “decline” narrative. And they delve into what has become a new meme: the 100-year-life and what it means from a policy and financial perspective. Richard reminds Debbie that health-span is a better concept than age span.

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

     

     

    Richard's new "Unretired" column for Market Watch

     

    Selection of Richard's articles for Next Avenue

     

    Books

     

     

    Also mentioned:

     

    Note from Debbie

    If you've been enjoying the podcast, please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts. It takes less than two minutes and it really makes a difference. It makes me feel loved and it also attracts new listeners.

    Subscribe to my newsletter and get my free writing guide: https://bitly.com/debbie-free-guide.

     Connect with me:

    We are looking for a sponsor or a podcast network

    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

    Media Partners

     

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    Credits:

    Suzanne Watkins on Finding Her Wings at Age 60

    Suzanne Watkins on Finding Her Wings at Age 60

    Debbie talks with Suzanne Watkins, a friend she met several years ago, who became an international flight attendant at age 60. 

    If you've ever wondered about the life of an international flight attendant - all those hours on your feet, exotic destinations, and constant jet lag - this episode's for you.

    Suzanne wanted a career change when she turned 60 and realized that her life was "not a dress rehearsal." She’d spent years working a typical 9-5 in the travel industry helping others plan their adventures, and also raising her children. But then she had a serious health crisis, coming close to death. That experience reminded her that she is mortal and it was time to pursue her dreams.

    So she applied to be an international flight attendant. She tells us about the bootcamp, a brutal selection process she survived in order to get hired by a private charter company that flies various groups, including the military, around the world. The airline industry is surprisingly open to hiring older employees, she tells us.

    The job is exciting but challenging. Her passengers, often military personnel, may carry semi-automatic rifles but they are always compliant, following her orders to stow them with "butts to the captain and muzzles to the rear." 

    That always gets a laugh, she says.

    The disruption of her circadian rhythm is very hard, Suzanne says, as is being on call with only two hours notice to work the next flight. She sometimes works for 23 hours straight and then gets 9 hours off. Her biggest challenge is getting enough sleep. 

    But she seems to thrive on the unpredictability. Her schedule might take her from Sofia, the capital of Bulgaria to Guam, which is the largest of the Mariana Islands in the north Pacific and also a U.S. territory. Debbie had to look that one up. 

    They end this delightful conversation with Suzanne offering a few tips for those thinking about reinventing themselves at midlife or later.

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

     

    Note from Debbie

    If you've been enjoying the podcast, please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts. It takes less than two minutes and it really makes a difference. It makes me feel loved and it also attracts new listeners.

    Subscribe to my newsletter and get my free writing guide: https://bitly.com/debbie-free-guide.

     Connect with me:

     

    We are looking for a sponsor or a podcast network

    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

    Media Partners

     

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    Carl Honoré on Being [B]older, Slowing Down, and Aging Better

    Carl Honoré on Being [B]older, Slowing Down, and Aging Better

    Today, Debbie brings Carl Honoré on the show for a conversation about the slow movement and about aging and ageism.

    Carl has a book titled BOLDER: Making the Most of Our Longer Lives so Debbie's first question is whether he minds if she uses the word as the new name for the podcast.

    Carl says It's absolutely fine to use [B]OLDER. (Book titles can't be copyrighted.) As he puts it, the more fire power we can aim at the "ageist industrial complex," the better. We'll continue doing our part on this podcast.

    Carl is a bestselling author and speaker and is considered the voice of the Slow Movement as well as a spokesman for anti-ageism. His two TED Talks, on the Power of Slow and the Power of Aging have racked up millions of views.

    His first book, In Praise of Slowness, makes the point that slowing down is a better way to approach life. As he puts it: "to connect more, create more, focus more and achieve more." He’s also written a book about slow parenting.

    Bolder, his more recent book, was inspired by an incident on the ice hockey rink when he realized, after scoring the winning goal, that he was the oldest member of the team. That struck a chord with him (he was in his 40s at the time) and he realized he needed to reexamine his ageist assumptions about himself, as well as society’s assumptions about aging.

    They talk about:

    - How Carl moved from slowness to aging as a focus of his work. The connection is "drilling down to the stuff that really matters and focussing on that," as he puts it.  

    - Whether the Slow Movement has really caught on in the past two decades. Carl says it has; Debbie is a bit more skeptical.

    - Why ageism is still difficult to root out. 

    They discuss how changing our language around aging is hard (but we should keep trying!). And why we should consider the practice of contemplating death… lightly, as a way to remember to enjoy the here and now. 

    This is a wonderful conversation with a highly articulate author and thinker on the topics of slowness and aging.

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

    Note: The subtitle of the American edition of Carl Honoré's book is: How to Age Better and Feel Better About Aging.

     

    Note from Debbie

    If you've been enjoying the podcast, please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts. It takes less than two minutes and it really makes a difference. It makes me feel loved and it also attracts new listeners.

    Subscribe to my newsletter and get my free writing guide: https://bitly.com/debbie-free-guide. Subscribers often print it out to save. 

     

    Connect with me:

     

    We are looking for a sponsor or a podcast network

    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

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    Tom Peters on [B]OLDLY Turning 80: His Childhood, His Passion, His Outrage, His Mission

    Tom Peters on [B]OLDLY Turning 80: His Childhood, His Passion, His Outrage, His Mission

    Debbie talks to legendary business author and speaker Tom Peters.  And if you're wondering why she's interviewing a business management guru, it's because Tom exemplifies the new name of the podcast: [B]OLDER. I.e. getting bolder as you grow older. 

    Tom is the co-author of In Search of Excellence, published 40 years ago and considered one of the most influential business books ever written. 

    The book makes the argument that excellent companies treat their employees with respect. They put people first.

    Tom is known for being brash, fanatical, even outrageous (a combination of Billy Graham and Sid Vicious as one commentator put it) and he's been haranguing audiences and readers around the world for decades with his philosophy of people first.   

    Haranguing, because many companies are still not doing it. Although the pandemic may have changed that a bit.

    In 2017 he received the Thinkers50 Lifetime Achievement Award. He also coined the term Personal Branding.

    And he’s not stopping as he turns 80.

    In this conversation, he reflects on why women should be leading; passion and outrage and why they are the most important quality in a good speaker; his love for research and data and the concept of compassionomics. 

    He also gets personal, opening up about his childhood and his mother's influence and reiterating why he is not done yet.

    He's as fanatical as ever (especially on the topic of women getting things done) and you’ll hear Debbie occasionally interrupting or trying to interrupt him in this conversation. Not something Debbie normally does but Tom's Director of Programs, Shelley Dolley, encouraged her to do so.

    Debbie met Tom almost 15 years ago when he interviewed her for his Cool Friends series, shortly after her book (The Corporate Blogging Book) came out.

    Coincidentally, he is married to a high school classmate of Debbie's, designer Susan Sargent.

    His newest book, Excellence Now: Extreme Humanism, is more relevant than ever with its emphasis on creating a humane workplace. It's his eighteenth book and it may be his last, he tells Debbie. 

    Much of his written and speech material is available—free to download—at tompeters.com and excellencenow.com.

    Enjoy this spirited and wide-ranging conversation with a legendary thinker. 

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

     

    Note from Debbie

    If you've been enjoying the podcast, please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts. It takes less than two minutes and it really makes a difference. It makes me feel loved and it also attracts new listeners.

    Subscribe to my newsletter and get my free writing guide: https://bitly.com/debbie-free-guide.

     

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

    We Are Looking For a Sponsor or a Podcasting Network

    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

    Media Partners

     

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    Oliver Burkeman on Embracing Finitude and Completing a Few Meaningful Things

    Oliver Burkeman on Embracing Finitude and Completing a Few Meaningful Things

    This is the last episode before we take a podcasting break for the holidays. See you back here in January 2022!  

    And yes, we’re trying out a new name. The focus of the podcast has become broader than the topic of “taking a gap year.” So the new name is [B]OLDER: Making the most of growing older. 

    In other words, boldly reinventing life and work at midlife and beyond.

     

    Debbie is always on the lookout for guests who can lend a new perspective to the concept of time and our perception of how much of it we have. So when she read Oliver Burkeman’s new book, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, she knew he had to come on the show. 

    Plus the book is terrific and it's getting lots of notice.

    The first sentence is “The average human life span is absurdly, terrifyingly, insultingly short.” In other words, about 4,000 weeks.

    Oliver is a British author and journalist who wrote a popular weekly column, This Column Will Change Your Life, for The Guardian for over a decade. He has reported from London, Washington and New York and recently moved with his wife and son from Brooklyn, NY back to Yorkshire in the UK to be near his family. 

    He has established himself as a tongue-in-cheek expert on productivity and time management and how that does - or does not - lead to happiness. 

    He sums up his new book very nicely in his Twitter profile: explaining that 4,000 Weeks is about embracing limitation and finally getting round to what matters. 

    As he's 46, he's only lived about 2,400 of those 4,000 weeks himself but he tells Debbie in this episode  that he may be getting closer to a better relationship with time.

    Debbie and Oliver talk about time and self-worth, why we are so future-oriented, the connection between time and happiness, and why it might be okay that we use social media as a distraction. 

    Oliver is a contrarian thinker but he's truly interested in how to build a meaningful life. Debbie had a number of aha moments in this conversation and listeners will too!

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

    References:

     

    Note from Debbie

    If you've been enjoying the podcast, please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts. It takes less than two minutes and it really makes a difference. It makes me feel loved and it also attracts new listeners.

    Subscribe to my newsletter and get my free writing guide: https://bitly.com/debbie-free-guide.

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

    We Are Looking For a Sponsor or Podcast Network

    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

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    Debbie & Sam on Entering the Land of the Old

    Debbie & Sam on Entering the Land of the Old

    Yup, it's Debbie's 70th birthday today.

    She's been chewing this milestone over for months, knowing that turning 70 means entering the land of the old.

    Time is running out so fast. How many more good years does she have left before entering the land of the old, old? Realistically, at 70, she's got 10 to 15 good years of active living left. A sobering thought.

    She invites her husband Sam back on the show to talk about their bucket lists for this eighth decade. She and Sam both turned 70 this year. They share some of their projects for the coming decade, from getting a puppy (Debbie's idea, so far not shared by Sam), to traveling again (they hope), to how they plan to deal with their own old, old age

    They also discuss the idea of being challenged and the difference between challenges and accomplishments.

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

     

    Related episodes:

     

    Previous episodes featuring host Debbie Weil and her husband Sam Harrington:

     

     

    Note from Debbie

    If you've been enjoying the podcast, please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts. It takes less than two minutes and it really makes a difference. It makes me feel loved and it also attracts new listeners.

    Subscribe to my newsletter and get my free writing guide: https://bitly.com/debbie-free-guide.

     

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

     

    We Are Looking For a Sponsor

    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

     

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    Support this podcast:

     

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    Music:

    Lakeside Path by Duck Lake

    Debbie and Julie-Roxane Dissect How Reinventing Your Life Really Works

    Debbie and Julie-Roxane Dissect How Reinventing Your Life Really Works

    Today, Debbie brings her producer Julie-Roxane back on the show. Or rather, the opposite. 

    Julie-Roxane takes control of the mic to interview Debbie about her experiences of reinventing her life, starting at age 14 and continuing up to the present as she turns 70. Together they explore what life reinvention really means and how it works.

    It's not that Debbie is a perfect model for life reinvention. Rather, what emerges in their conversation is a surprising life pattern. 

    Why would a shy teen embrace an adventure in another country? 

    What makes someone radically change course in a career?

    What does personality type have to do with a propensity for reinvention?

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

     

    Note from Debbie

    If you've been enjoying the podcast, please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts. It takes less than two minutes and it really makes a difference. It makes me feel loved and it also attracts new listeners.

    Subscribe to my newsletter and get my free writing guide: https://bitly.com/debbie-free-guide.

     

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

    We Are Looking For a Sponsor

    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

    Media Partners

     

    Support this podcast:

     

    Credits:

     

    Music:

    Lakeside Path by Duck Lake

    Aging Options: Skylar Skikos on Intergenerational and Regenerative Communities

    Aging Options: Skylar Skikos on Intergenerational and Regenerative Communities

    One of the things Debbie is starting to think about is where and how she and her husband Sam might want to live as they get older - a lot older than their current 70. Like many Boomers, they are repelled by the idea of a retirement community.

    This week on the podcast she turns to Skylar Skikos to learn about new options. Skylar, 40, is a philosopher at heart and a financier by trade. He’s a real estate developer and investor who specializes in hospitality and senior care and he’s Chief Development Officer of Modern Elder Academy in Baja, MX. 

    You've heard Debbie talk before about MEA, the world's first midlife wisdom school. Skylar is fascinated with how to create places that help people flourish, particularly as they age. He thinks there’s something missing from age-segregated communities and Debbie couldn’t agree more. She wants to run screaming when she sees glossy ads for age 55+ retirement communities like The Villages in Florida because... who wants to live only with old people where the focus is solely on recreation and having fun?

    This episode is her first attempt to start unpacking the topic of where and how older people can live where they can be part of a mixed-age community, still contributing and living productively, and avoid the loneliness and isolation that many of us associate with retirement communities. 

    Debbie and Skylar talk about several alternatives. One is intergenerational housing that mixes age groups. A number of intergenerational developments are underway right now in different parts of the U.S. They also talk about something called Regenerative Communities, a concept being pioneered by MEA. 

    Skylar joined MEA to help them develop a collection of Regenerative Communities, each of which will include mixed-age residents, a midlife wisdom school where you explore how to grow and thrive in the latter stages of life, and a surrounding regenerative farm. 

    The first Regenerative Community being developed in the U.S. is outside Sante Fe, NM. Debbie and Sam are so intrigued with this concept and are hoping that MEA will turn its sights towards the East Coast, which is closer to home and family for them.

     

    MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE OR USEFUL:

     

    Skylar Skikos on LinkedIn

    Navigating the Youth-Midlife Divide: Musings Approaching a 40th Birthday by Skylar Skikos (Wisdom Well, Nov. 2, 2021)

    Modern Elder Academy

    MEA | Regenerative Communities

    Don't Mind the Gap in Intergenerational Housing by Karrie Jacobs (New York Times, Sept. 2, 2021)

    New Model of Active  Adult Senior Living Is Coming to the Austin Area  (Cantina)

    Cantina Community

    Right Place, Right Time: The Ultimate Guide to Choosing a Home for the Second Half of Life by Ryan Frederick (‎Johns Hopkins University Press 2021)

    The Villages (Your Retirement Adventure Starts Here)

    Public philosopher Tom Morris

    Serenbe (a wellness community near Atlanta)

     

    NOTE FROM DEBBIE

    If you've been enjoying the podcast, please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts. It takes less than two minutes and it really makes a difference. It makes me feel loved and it also attracts new listeners.

    Subscribe to my newsletter and get my free writing guide: https://bitly.com/debbie-free-guide.

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

    We Are Looking For a Sponsor

    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

    MEDIA PARTNERS

     

    SUPPORT THIS PODCAST

     

    CREDITS

    Richard Leider on Living Your Purpose Rather Than "Finding" It

    Richard Leider on Living Your Purpose Rather Than "Finding" It

    Today, Debbie talks with Richard Leider about aging with purpose, the fallacy of "finding" your purpose, and how to practice daily.

     Richard is considered a pioneer of the global purpose movement. Yes, the "purpose movement" is a thing. The topic of  finding meaning and purpose has come up repeatedly on this podcast.  It's key to a life well-lived, we’ve been told. But how DO you live a life of purpose? Are there any shortcuts or secrets? That’s what Debbie wanted to find out from Richard.

    Richard Leider is the author of 11 books, many of which have been bestsellers, and recently co-authored the book "Who Do You Want to Be When You Grow Old? The Path of Purposeful Aging." He's very much on the right path for himself. At 77, he’s working, writing, and still, happily, honing his own purpose. 

    Together, they talk about the idea of purpose in elder hood, and why it is crucial to longevity. They discuss purpose as a verb: it’s not something you find but it’s something you “do” via purposeful living. Richard shares his story of a profound encounter with author and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl in 1968 and how that unlocked his lifelong fascination with purpose.

    They also get into what he calls in his book the Ultimate Conversation - the one about death that you should have with your family but also with yourself. 

    And Richard shares what he does everyday to practice being purposeful. This might be the secret, if there is one. This is a great conversation with a man who is truly living what he talks and writes about.

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

     

     

    Note from Debbie

    If you've been enjoying the podcast, please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts. It takes less than two minutes and it really makes a difference. It makes me feel loved and it also attracts new listeners.

    Subscribe to my newsletter and get my free writing guide: https://bitly.com/debbie-free-guide.

     

     

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

     

    We Are Looking For a Sponsor

    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

     

    Media Partners

     

     

    Support this podcast:

     

     

    Credits:

    Emily Moore on Vulnerability, Life, and Becoming a Cancer Survivor

    Emily Moore on Vulnerability, Life, and Becoming a Cancer Survivor

    Today, Debbie brings her 43-year-old niece, Emily Moore, onto the podcast to talk about life and death and her recent grueling course of chemotherapy to eradicate breast cancer.

    Emily teaches English at Stuyvesant, one of Manhattan's competitive-entry public high schools. She’s also a published poet (one of her poems was published in The New Yorker), and has a PhD in English. She lives in Brooklyn with her wife and two young children.

    Those of us beyond midlife are (supposedly) starting to wrap our minds around  the disability of old age and the hard stop of death. So Debbie asks Emily what it was like to, unexpectedly, be forced to stare death in the face in her early 40s. But Emily doesn’t really answer because it turns out it was the wrong question.

    Instead she speaks eloquently about how much energy she’s put into fighting for life (she calls it putting on her "game face" despite how horrific the chemotherapy was) and how vulnerable she now feels and how that has changed her.

    She also talks about how she'll never be "okay" again, meaning that things won't ever really return to the way they were before her cancer diagnosis. And she compares it to our collective wish to go back to the pre-pandemic "normal" of 2019 and how that probably won't happen.

    Tune in to a powerful episode to hear Emily’s lilting voice and positive take on her experience.

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:


     

     

    AULD LANG SYNE

    By Emily Moore

    April 7, 2008

    Here’s to the rock star with the crooked teeth,

    the cellist, banker, mezzo bearing gifts,

    the teacher with the flask inside her jeans—

    those girls who made us sweat and lick our lips.

    To the jeune fille who broke my heart in France,

    the tramp who warmed your lap and licked your ear,

    the one who bought me shots at 2 a.m.

    that night I tied your pink tie at the bar.

    Who smoked. Who locked you out. Who kissed my eyes

    then pulled my hair and left me for a boy.

    The girl who bit my upper, inner thigh.

    My raspy laugh when I first heard your voice

    toasting through broken kisses sloppy drunk:

    To women! To abundance! To enough!

     

    Published in the print edition of the April 14, 2008 New Yorker. Reprinted with permission.

     

     

     

    Note from Debbie

    If you've been enjoying the podcast, please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts. It takes less than two minutes and it really makes a difference. It makes me feel loved and it also attracts new listeners.

    Subscribe to my newsletter for the inside story about each episode of the podcast and to get my free writing guide: https://bitly.com/debbie-free-guide.

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

    We Are Looking For a Sponsor

    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

    Media Partners

     

    Support this podcast:

     

    Credits:

    Dorie Clark on Playing "The Long Game” to Get the Most Out of Life and Work

    Dorie Clark on Playing "The Long Game” to Get the Most Out of Life and Work

    Welcome back to the [B]OLDER podcast (formerly The Gap Year Podcast).

    Today, Debbie Weil brings author, entrepreneur, and renowned business thinker Dorie Clark on the show, a perfect way to kick off Season 4.

    Dorie is a 42-year-old business consultant whose life and work resonate strongly with Debbie.  She was a Philosophy major in college, graduated from Harvard Divinity school, worked as a journalist (something Debbie did for two decades) and was a presidential campaign spokesperson. 

    Then, in a very intentional way, over a period of eleven years, she became a highly respected business author and speaker. Dorie is on the Thinkers50 list, the top 50 business thinkers in the world, and has just published her fourth book: THE LONG GAME: HOW TO BE A LONG-TERM THINKER IN A SHORT-TERM WORLD. She now teaches at Duke and Columbia’s business schools and consults with clients like Google and Microsoft and the World Bank.

    But - and this is the part that applies to midlife reinvention - it took repeated rejection along the way for her to get to where she is today. She tells us those stories and more in THE LONG GAME. Her new book is aimed at a mid-career business audience but Debbie was struck over and over, as she read it, how Dorie's approach applies to life and work after 60 or 70.

    Dorie is also a documentary filmmaker, a Broadway investor, and a trained musical theatre lyricist and composer.

    She writes in THE LONG GAME about creating white space in your calendar, meaning give yourself unstructured time to think “differently” and to explore and experiment. She also talks about optimizing for meaning (instead of for money, usually the default) and optimizing for interesting: follow your curiosity even if you don’t know exactly where that will take you. 

    Wow, she could be writing a script for a grown-up gap year and for optimizing a post-career, non-retired chapter of life - the focus of this podcast.

    Needless to say, Dorie is also a huge proponent of trying new things even if they are way outside your current area of expertise.

    This is a great conversation full of useful nuggets about how to think long-term and why that matters.

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

     

     

    Note from Debbie

    If you've been enjoying the podcast, please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts. It takes less than two minutes and it really makes a difference. It makes me feel loved and it also attracts new listeners.

    Subscribe to my newsletter and get my free writing guide: https://bitly.com/debbie-free-guide.

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

    We Are Looking For a Sponsor

    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

    Media Partners

     

    Support this podcast:

     

    Credits:

    [B]OLD AGE With Debbie Weil
    enOctober 08, 2021

    Season 4 - Trailer

    Season 4 - Trailer

    The Gap Year Podcast is back for Season 4 and our topic is "making the most of growing older."

    If you’ve been following the podcast since Season 1, you know that this topic has always been at the core of the podcast. But how do you make the most of growing older? What does that even mean?

    After three years of podcasting and 65 episodes, I’m very close to turning 70. It’s increasingly apparent to me that this “how to grow older” question really has no definitive answer. It’s a messy question, with messy answers.

    The simplest definition I’ve come up with is that it means reinventing life and work in what have traditionally been called the retirement years.  Well, that’s what’s most relevant to me right now. If you’re anywhere near midlife, or older, you’ve probably wrestled with the “growing older” question yourself. At the same time, you may think of aging as a five-letter word - something to be avoided and even feared. Why is that?

    In truth, this podcast is my quest to answer my own aging and reinvention questions. But it’s also an invitation to you, dear listener, to join a conversation about what can be a difficult topic to unravel. I hope, as I fumble about, sometimes with more grace than others, I can inspire or nudge you to seek your own answers: What does it mean to make the most of growing older? 

    We’ll delve into topics like confronting the fear of death and how that affects your life, how to create a post-career identity and make a difference, and how to find purpose, the holy grail of growing up and growing older, right?

     

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    Debbie Weil on Turning 70, Mortality, and Making the Most of Growing Older

    Debbie Weil on Turning 70, Mortality, and Making the Most of Growing Older

    Debbie Weil is interviewed by her producer Julie-Roxane Krikorian about turning 70, mortality, productivity, her halting efforts to age gracefully, and Season 4 of The Gap Year Podcast.

    This is the last episode of Season 3. We'll be back in the fall with Season 4!

    As a way to finish this season on a special note, Debbie turns the mic over to her producer, Julie-Roxane.

    JR gets Debbie to reveal her ambivalent feelings about turning 70  and how she can't shake ageist thoughts about growing old. They talk about mortality and what her priorities are for the decades - well, maybe two decades - to come.  At almost 70, Debbie figures she's got 15 - 20 years of good time left. They talk about what “good time” means and how the definition of productivity might change in your 70s and 80s.

    If you’ve been listening for a while, you know that one of the broad topics of the podcast is aging with acceptance, wisdom, and grace. So the dirty secret is out. Debbie is not a model, yet, for how to do this.  It’s still aspirational. She continues to work on a more positive mindset as she looks ahead, as well as a more intentional way of living. In other words,  "making the most of growing older."  That will be the underlying theme of Season 4.

    Thank you so much for listening and participating in Season 3 of The Gap Year Podcast. We’ll see you back here, in the fall, for Season 4.

     

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    Steven Petrow on the Stupid Things He Won’t Do When He Gets Old

    Steven Petrow on the Stupid Things He Won’t Do When He Gets Old

    Today, Debbie talks with with Steven Petrow about his new book, Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong

    The title says it all, as does the format of the book. The list of stupid things to avoid is offered in 43 bite-size chapters. Steven is an award-winning journalist and author who is best known for his Washington Post and New York Times essays on aging, health, and LGBTQ issues. Debbie has been following his work for a while and when she heard about his new book on old age she jumped on getting him onto the show.

    We've all had a lot of time to think about life - and death - during this pandemic gap year and old age is starting to get personal for Debbie (she turns 70 this year). She figured Steven's humorous approach to the topic would make it easier to get into a substantive discussion about getting old. It did and you'll find this conversation goes surprisingly deep. 

    The book covers lighter topics like:

    • Why you shouldn’t color your hair
    • Why you shouldn’t avoid looking at yourself naked in the mirror
    • Why you shouldn’t lie about your age (even on dating apps)
    • Why you shouldn’t hoard those little jam packets (and otherwise collect clutter)
    • Why you shouldn’t tell your life story when someone says, "How are you"
    • Why you shouldn’t become a miserable curmudgeon

     

    Debbie and Steven talk about harder stuff.  When does old age actually start? The looming uncertainty of how many years - how many good years - you have left? How to make that time count?

    They also talk about things no one wants to talk about (like decreased libido, not wanting to use a walker, and the "smell" of old people). And they talk about how to have the hard conversations with elderly parents. You know the ones: “Maybe you shouldn’t be driving anymore” or “Maybe it’s time to think about getting more care at home” or “What kind of memorial service do you want?”

    Steven offers candid answers for how to address the indignities and challenges of old age whether you are encountering them through family members and friends, or worrying about yourself. This is a fun, easy listen.

     

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    Note from Debbie

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    Bestselling Author Thomas E. Ricks on His Writing Process

    Bestselling Author Thomas E. Ricks on His Writing Process

    Today, Debbie Weil talks to good friend and bestselling author Thomas E. Ricks about writing.  This episode will appeal to listeners even if you're not a word nerd or put writing a book at the top of your bucket list. 

    Tom is a military history columnist for the New York Times and author of seven books, the last five of which have been New York Times bestsellers. His best known book is "Fiasco: the American Military Adventure in Iraq, 2003 - 2005," which was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize in 2007.  His most recent book, published in November 2020, is "First Principles: What America's Founders Learned From the Greeks and Romans, and How That Shaped Our Country."

    He was a war correspondent and a member of Pulitzer Prize-winning teams covering the military for both the Wall Street Journal (2000) and the Washington Post (2002).  

    As Debbie puts it, he's the "real deal" when it comes to writing serious books. Tom is currently working on his eighth book, a military appreciation of the Civil Rights Movement. Tom and his wife Mary Kay, also an author, are Debbie's good friends and neighbors in Maine.

    Today, they talk about what drives Tom to write: is it for money, for recognition, to win another Pulitzer prize, to connect with his readers, the writing itself? His answer is a good one.  They address the big questions: how long does it take him to write a book, how does he choose his topics, what is his  advice for would-be book writers, and more.  

    Debbie and Tom also get into the nitty gritty of his writing process. He takes us through a day in the life of Tom Ricks which includes bringing tea to Mary Kay in the morning and making lunch most days for the two of them. Despite how prolific he is, Tom does not write for 8 hours a day. 

    He is witty and passionate on the topic of writing, as well as being honest and revealing, and this is a wonderful conversation.

     

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    Debbie & Sam on Getting Calm and Centered in Baja (Yes, Even Sam Felt It)

    Debbie & Sam on Getting Calm and Centered in Baja (Yes, Even Sam Felt It)

    Debbie Weil brings her husband, Sam Harrington, back onto the show. A retired physician, Sam is NOT a  believer in midlife-crisis camps nor in navel gazing, which is what he told family and friends Debbie was dragging him across the country to do. It took a lot of arm-twisting to persuade Sam to get on a plane and fly to Mexico’s Baja Sur, even after they had both been twice vaccinated and even after the long, dispiriting winter of the pandemic. Their destination: Modern Elder Academy.

    If you've been listening to the podcast, you've heard about MEA. You could call MEA a wellness retreat. It’s idyllic: simple accommodations overlook the crashing waves of a broad mile-long beach. Birdsong fills the air, water trickles from fountains, and bright pink, yellow, and orange Bougainvillea blooms everywhere. An organic garden produces wonderful meals and a dusty dirt road leads to the nearest village.

    But MEA is more than a wellness retreat. It’s also a school - and a community - of like-minded people. MEA tends to attract open-minded individuals from their 30s to 70s, who are on a quest to define "what's next” in their lives and who are willing to think differently about aging. 

    Guests can attend structured discussions, there’s time for journal writing and reflection, and there are meditation and yoga classes. 

    Debbie and Sam talk about a few of the topics that were on offer during their two-week stay, including the difference between growth vs. fixed mindsets (you can guess which one is preferable) and something called appreciative inquiry which is an expansive way of both listening and asking questions. 

    Sam ultimately admits that he IS feeling calm and centered. 

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    Previous episodes featuring host Debbie Weil and her husband Sam Harrington:

     

    A gift for listeners: a Baja meditation soundtrack

    Debbie created a 20-minute meditation soundtrack (with help from producer Julie-Roxane) from the distinctive Baja birdsong and trickling water she heard every morning before meditation practice. Download the soundtrack.

     

    Note from Debbie

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    Nicholas Christakis on How the Pandemic Will Affect Your Life Until 2024

    Nicholas Christakis on How the Pandemic Will Affect Your Life Until 2024

    When will the Covid 19 pandemic end? That’s the question on everyone’s mind. Today Debbie talks to one person who just might have an answer to that question. 

    Nicholas Christakis is a nationally-recognized expert in three fields: medicine, sociology and public health. He’s a distinguished Sterling Professor at Yale, a researcher on the topics of social networks and human goodness, and a bestselling author, most recently, of Apollo’s Arrow: The Profound and Enduring Impact of Coronavirus on the Way We Live.

    He’s been named to TIME magazine’s list of the 100 Most Influential People in the World. His fluency in explaining the science, epidemiology, psychology, sociology and history of pandemics makes this a fascinating conversation. Plus he’s got a good sense of humor:

    • You’ll hear why he chose to publish Apollo’s Arrow last fall, midway through the COVID 19 pandemic, before we knew the end of the story
    • How his childhood experiences with illness and death affected his career choices
    • What the predictable three phases of a pandemic are (HINT: we're still in the immediate phase)
    • Why he thinks this pandemic won’t be over until 2024
    • They also talked about separating the biological vs. the psychological impacts of the pandemic
    • What herd immunity actually means and whether we’ll get there
    • And what the public health messaging around the pandemic should be


    Debbie asks him point blank: when is the next pandemic? The answer is unnerving - sooner than you might think. 

    But they end on a positive note: plagues historically bring loss, grief, confusion, and misinformation. But they also reveal cooperative and generous behavior, the best of humankind.

     

    About Nicholas Christakis


    Photo Credit: Evan Mann

     

    Books by Nicholas Christakis

     

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    Jeff Hamaoui on Changing Mindsets and Navigating the Messy Middle of Transitions

    Jeff Hamaoui on Changing Mindsets and Navigating the Messy Middle of Transitions

    Debbie talks with Jeff Hamaoui, Modern Elder Academy Co-founder and Chief Education and Innovation Officer, about getting through the "messy middle" (a real term) of transitions. This time of global transformation is also a time of existential transition for many of us. What comes next - and when? And how? Especially if you are in midlife or older.

    The messy middle of any life transition is not easy, or comfortable, to get through. The old has ended but the new has not yet started or is not yet clear. 

    If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while you’ve heard her mention MEA and you might have listened to her interviews with founder Chip Conley. Debbie joined MEA’s online program, Navigating Midlife Transitions, feeling she needed dedicated time and space to reflect on - and make sense of - this pandemic “gap” year. Jeff’s guidance through the program was provocative, so she called him to dive a little deeper.

    Jeff, and others who have studied transitions (most notably William Bridges), have identified the "messy middle" as the most challenging phase of a transition. Adopting a mindset of growth and curiosity can help you get through it. This applies equally to transitioning into midlife and beyond. What we used to call "getting old."

    Debbie and Jeff talk about:

    • Why Jeff's interest in transitions
    • What is a modern elder
    • The anatomy of a transition
    • The concept of messy middles and how to get through them
    • Why a growth mindset is important
    • Pattern interruption - why you need to go to a place to rethink aging and midlife

     

    At the end of the episode, listen for the sound of birdsong and trickling water as Debbie reports back from a recent real-life visit, with her husband Sam, to the MEA campus in Baja Sur, Mexico.

     

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    Note from Debbie

    I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It takes less than sixty seconds, and it really makes a difference in attracting new listeners and upcoming guests. I might read your review on my next episode!

    Sign up for occasional updates and get my free writing guide at http://eepurl.com/qGTP

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    Island Women Speak About Their Pandemic Year

    Island Women Speak About Their Pandemic Year

    One of the biggest "gaps" for Debbie this past year was the absence of Island Women Speak, the multi-generational women’s storytelling event she has produced and directed on Deer Isle, Maine.

    For the past three winters, on a cold January night, seven local women representing seven decades from 20s to 80s have bravely stepped on stage to tell revealing five-minute stories about their lives, in the tradition of Moth storytelling. The other half of the storytelling equation is the audience: packed into Stonington, Maine’s historic Opera House theatre for warmth and intimacy, their presence has never failed to create a safe space for storytelling.

    It has been a special evening that this community has talked about for weeks and months afterwards. It's meant so much to Debbie to work with these extraordinary women and to help make the event happen.

    Well, it was NOT to be in January 2021.

    So she decided to invite three past performers onto the show, representing three different decades (or teams), to get their differing perspectives on this pandemic year and to offer a taste of the intimacy and wisdom that the audience has loved in the past. In this short episode, you’ll hear from three women about loneliness and uncertainty but also about resilience and perseverance, the sturdy outlook on life that is typical of Mainers. 

    Representing Team 30 is Amanda Larrabee who is a landscaper and mother of a teenager.  For Team 50 is Becky Siebert who has served the community for decades as a nurse. And for Team 80 is Lorraine Knowlton, a retired minister. All three are lifelong residents of Deer Isle, Maine, the remote coastal community that Debbie now calls home.

    Debbie asks each of them a series of questions about their pandemic year:

    - What has been most challenging for you?

    - What is your NEW BEST THING that has come out of this year?

    - What do you want more of?

    - This has been a year of loss, but has it been a lost year for you?

    Tune into this short episode to hear three women, three generations, and three perspectives on the ways we've all experienced this past year and how we are looking ahead.

     

    Watch videos of their  Island Women Speak performances:

     

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    Note from Debbie

    I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It takes less than sixty seconds, and it really makes a difference in attracting new listeners and upcoming guests. I might read your review on my next episode!

    Sign up for occasional updates and get my free writing guide at http://eepurl.com/qGTP

     

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    Rene Colson Hudson on Fighting the Widespread Phenomenon of Pandemic Fatigue

    Rene Colson Hudson on Fighting the Widespread Phenomenon of Pandemic Fatigue

    Today, Debbie talks to Rene Colson Hudson, executive director of the Healthy Island Project on Deer Isle, Maine. The two of them delve into something that many are grappling with right now:  pandemic fatigue. Or burnout or the pandemic wall, or whatever you want to call it. Debbie recently asked the question on her Facebook page: "Are you suffering from pandemic fatigue?" She was surprised by the several dozen responses she got saying, "Why, yes, I am!"  Which got her to thinking. Even with vaccines becoming readily available for anyone of any age, in many states - a cause for celebration - many continue to feel weary and depleted by this long year and the sameness of our days.

    That includes Debbie who also admits that she is suffering from crankiness and impatience. So she went looking for a little pep talk. Rene has been at the center of COVID relief efforts on Deer Isle over the past 12 months, overseeing a lunch and dinner program that serves over 100 elderly residents every week. The Healthy Island Project is a nonprofit that focuses on improving community health and that brings together a cross section of Stonington / Deer Isle, Maine residents. The organization has grown fivefold since the beginning of the pandemic. Money has come pouring in from supporters, Rene told Debbie, and she is busier than ever.

    Rene moved full-time from New Jersey to Deer Isle five years ago. She is an ordained minister and has studied leadership and contemplative practices. And she offers both a practical and a soulful approach to thinking about pandemic fatigue. She reminds us to be more mindful of the little things, to practice gratitude, and to find ways to help others. As an example, the Healthy Island Project put Debbie in touch with an elderly gentleman who, without an Internet connection or a computer, needed help making a vaccine appointment. He and Debbie became phone buddies. She and Rene reflect on how gratifying such a  small act can be.

    What they talked about:

    • Rene’s definition of pandemic fatigue: she emphasizes the word "sameness"
    • Why there is a strong sense of fatigue now, even as things are starting to look up
    • What Rene misses most about traveling
    • How Rene sees pandemic fatigue in the community: the toll it's taking on high schoolers and on elderly residents
    • The importance of awareness and mindfulness of the little things
    • The practice of gratitude and the adventure of going nowhere
    • Rene’s antidote to pandemic fatigue: serving others

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    Note from Debbie

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