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    [B]OLD AGE With Debbie Weil

    A podcast about (b)oldly moving from midlife to old age in a society that devalues and/or misunderstands what (b)old age is *really* like. Debbie, who is 72, explores that question in frank 30-minute conversations with a best-selling author, expert, or exceptional individual. With her guests she delves into the unretired (non-retired) life, slowing down, ageism, physical deterioration, grandparenting, intergenerational collaboration, grief and widowhood, and more. As well as other stuff that piques her interest: for example, the craft of writing. She invites her husband, Sam Harrington, on as a frequent guest. He’s a retired physician with a dry sense of humor and he makes her laugh. Debbie and Sam took a grownup gap year at age 61, leaving behind a professional life in Washington D.C. Now in their early 70s, they live a very busy "unretired" life on an island off the coast of Maine. Over 100 previous episodes at https://debbieweil.com/podcast MEDIA PARTNERS: Encore.org Modern Elder Academy (Formerly) Next For Me
    enDebbie Weil116 Episodes

    Episodes (116)

    Maine Poet Laureate Stuart Kestenbaum on Loss, Love, Preciousness, and Celebrating the Ordinary Moment

    Maine Poet Laureate Stuart Kestenbaum on Loss, Love, Preciousness, and Celebrating the Ordinary Moment

    Today, Debbie Weil has a conversation with Maine’s Poet Laureate Stuart Kestenbaum. Whether or not you're a fan of reading or writing poetry, you won't want to miss this episode. Stuart tells stories in his soothing, often humorous style, including what led him to decide to become a poet and how he fell in love with  Maine. They talk about listening to poems read aloud and how that slows time down and creates a moment of community. They also talk about his process of discovery when he is writing poems. 

    The topics they touch on: community and connection, love and loss, grief and creativity are relevant to this pandemic gap year. 

    Stuart is the author of five collections of poems, most recently Things Seemed to Be Breaking (Deerbrook Editions 2021), and a collection of essays The View from Here (Brynmorgen Press). He was the director of the internationally renowned Haystack Mountain School of Crafts from 1988 until 2015. He was the host of Maine Public Radio’s popular program Poems from Here, where each week he read aloud a poem by a Maine author. He hosted/curated the podcast Make/Time and he is the host/curator of a soon-to-be-released podcast, Voices of the Future, a series of conversations with a dozen young Maine writers about their writing and their lives. This 12-episode podcast is his last project as Maine’s Poet Laureate as his five-year tenure, sadly, is coming to an end in 2021.

    He also reads two of his poems on this episode, including one of Debbie's favorites, Starting the Subaru at Five Below. As former U.S. Poet Laureate Ted Kooser has written: “Stuart Kestenbaum writes the kind of poems I love to read, heartfelt responses to the privilege of having been given a life.  No hidden agendas here, no theories to espouse, nothing but life, pure life, set down with craft and love.” 

    See below for  links to Stuart’s poetry collections, his podcasts, stage performances and more. He writes and speaks widely on craft-making and creativity. His poems and writing have appeared in numerous small press publications and magazines including Tikkun, The Sun, The Beloit Poetry Journal, The New York Times Magazine, and on the Writer’s Almanac and American Life in Poetry.

    This was a wonderful conversation. 

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

    Stuart Kestenbaum

    Poems from Here with Maine Poet Laureate Stuart Kestenbaum, on Maine Public Radio

    For final project, Maine poet laureate puts out podcast featuring young writers by Bob Keyes, Portland Press-Herald, March 7, 2021

    Words of Gratitude From Maine, New York Times, Nov. 25, 2020

    Make/Time Podcast

    Starting the Subaru at Five Below by Stuart Kestenbaum

    Amen, Stuart's poem selected by Naomi Shihab Nye for the New York Times, Jan. 2, 2020

    Sometime during eternity... by Lawrence Ferlinghetti

    Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

    Out of the Cradle Endlessly Rocking by Walt Whitman

    Professor Fred Wagner

    Stuart Kestenbaum's talk at Maine Live about his brother Howard who died in the Twin Towers on 9/11

    Susan Webster:  Stuart’s wife and collaborator on art & writing:

    Long Lake, Naples, Maine

    Cadillac Mountain, Acadia National Park

    Haystack Mountain School of Crafts

    The Telling Room, Portland, Maine

     

     

    Note from Debbie

    I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It takes less than sixty seconds, and it really makes a difference in attracting new listeners and upcoming guests. I might read your review on my next episode!

    Sign up for occasional updates and get my free writing guide at http://eepurl.com/qGTP

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

    WE ARE LOOKING FOR A SPONSOR

    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

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    Debbie & Sam on Fasting For Five Days and Why They Were Crazy Enough To Do It

    Debbie & Sam on Fasting For Five Days and Why They Were Crazy Enough To Do It

    Today, Debbie Weil brings her husband Sam Harrington, a retired physician, back on the show to talk about fasting. One year ago the couple completed a five-day fast using a ProLon kit of dried soups and crackers. This year, after packing on the pounds during the stay-at-home pandemic holidays, they decided to repeat the fast. 

    And this time, Debbie took notes to record the experience.  If you’ve listened to the pair kibitz in earlier episodes, it will be no surprise that they experienced the fast differently. They talk about what the fast felt like day by day (it was harder for Debbie) and what the possible benefits are in addition to losing weight. 

    A month later, both are a number of pounds lighter (about four for Debbie; eight for Sam). And they've mostly kept the weight off. Debbie finds herself eating smaller portions and neither is snacking between meals.  Desserts and sweets still call to Debbie but she recognizes that the craving for sugar is not one that can be cured in five days or even a month.

    Both agree that the fast led to a successful reset of their eating habits.

    They talk about the science behind fasting and about something called intermittent fasting which means shortening the span of hours in the day during which you eat. 16 hours of fasting vs. 8 hours of "eating" is a typical ratio. That could mean skipping breakfast and eating only between 12 noon and 8 PM. And they speculate on whether fasting and intermittent fasting are merely the latest fad. If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to fast and why you might want to do it, this is a conversation for you. 

     

    Debbie's day-by-day fasting notes:

    DAY 1: light-headed and mentally fuzzy.

    DAY 2: 8:30 AM weak and sluggish; 1 PM fatigued and sluggish, as if I'm operating at 1/3 speed; 4:30 PM this is painful. Back hurts, muscles ache, dizzy, drowsy, and IRRITABLE.

    DAY 3: feeling better, not so achey.

    DAY 4: light-headed, fatigued, dreaming of the food I will eat when this is over; this feels never ending.

    DAY 5:  feel debilitated and so weak; fuzzy thinking is really a problem; NEVER AGAIN. (Of course, I said that each time after giving birth.)
     

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

     

    Previous episodes featuring host Debbie and her husband Sam:

     

    PHOTO: Definition of crazy? Debbie and Sam's visiting grand puppy leaping into the freezing waters of a Maine winter.

     

    Note from Debbie

    I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It takes less than sixty seconds, and it really makes a difference in attracting new listeners and upcoming guests. I might read your review on my next episode!

    Sign up for occasional updates and get my free writing guide at http://eepurl.com/qGTP

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

    WE ARE LOOKING FOR A SPONSOR

    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

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    Encore's Marci Alboher & Aanchal Dhar on Intergenerational Collaboration and Why It’s Important Right Now

    Encore's Marci Alboher & Aanchal Dhar on Intergenerational Collaboration and Why It’s Important Right Now

    Today, Debbie talks to Encore.org's Marci Alboher and Aanchal Dhar about intergenerational  collaboration: how it works for them as a GenX and Millennial pair and how connecting different ages can address some of the biggest issues this country is facing right now, from pandemic loneliness to the political divide to the climate crisis.

    Marci, Encore's Vice President of Narrative Change, is 54. Aanchal, Encore's Communications Strategist for Programs, is 39. The two have been collaborating for seven years in their work for this well-known nonprofit, which is partially responsible for the midlife reinvention movement.

    Encore originally focussed on the second half of life.  More recently the group has turned to a focus on bridging divides and connecting generations to create a better future. That's a big goal. Encore calls it a movement. So Debbie asks Marci and Aanchal, in turn, why it's so important to bridge the demographic divide in the workplace, in communities, in our personal lives. The answer: connecting different ages, races, and genders creates value. Younger people bring a fresh perspective, seeing things for the first time. Older people have lived through crises and challenges (the unrest of the 60s, for example) and they bring a different lived experience. Together they can solve big problems.   

    They also talk about "perennials," a term Debbie loves. It means people with a mindset of being hungry and curious and always wanting to learn regardless of age or generation. Curiosity is key to conversations with those who are different from you. And they talk about civic community, what that means, and why the virtual program Aanchal started has been so important during the pandemic.

    Be sure to check out the links to articles Marci and Aanchal have written, as well as to Encore's many resources and programs.  

     

    USEFUL LINKS

     

    Partial List of Encore's Programs and Resources:

     

    Mentioned:

     

    Note from Debbie

    I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It takes less than sixty seconds, and it really makes a difference in attracting new listeners and upcoming guests. I might read your review on my next episode!

    Sign up for occasional updates and get my free writing guide at http://eepurl.com/qGTP

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

    WE ARE LOOKING FOR A SPONSOR

    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

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    Diane Feldman on Bridging the Political Divide in the U.S., the Problems with Polling, and Contributing to Your Local Community

    Diane Feldman on Bridging the Political Divide in the U.S., the Problems with Polling, and Contributing to Your Local Community

    Today Debbie Weil talks to Diane Feldman, an old friend and a veteran political consultant, to get her take on an issue that Debbie has been chewing and stewing over: the deep political divide in this country.

    After running The Feldman Group, a Democratic research & polling firm in D.C. for almost 30 years, Diane shut down her firm two years ago and retired to Jackson, Mississippi. Debbie's first question for her might sound naive: is there a message that President Biden could send that would get us to the unity he calls for in his Inaugural Address? But it comes out of her genuine perplexity about how to unify the dramatically opposing factions in this country: Democrats vs. Republicans, those who voted for Trump vs. those who elected Biden, those who believe in truth and facts vs. those who don’t seem to.

    This kind of polarization in America isn't new, Diane reminds us. It's been going on for a long, long time. Think back to the many who opposed Dr. Martin Luther King and the civil rights movement. What's new, she says, is that 85 million Americans were willing to stand up and vote for equity and anti-racism.  

    They talk about this and more: the different kinds of political messaging, the Jan. 6th assault on the Capitol, white supremacy, the current echoes of the resistance to the civil rights movement, why people get stuck in their own political bubbles, and Diane’s analysis of why polling is not the strategically effective tool it used to be, which is one reason she decided to shut down The Feldman Group and start a new chapter of her life where she no longer sells her time but is finding ways to contribute in her new community.

    Lots to chew on. Be sure to check out Diane’s blog, The View From the Pearl, referring to the river that runs through Jackson.

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

     

    Note from Debbie

    I hope you enjoy this podcast. Would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It takes less than sixty seconds, and it really makes a difference in attracting new listeners and upcoming guests. I might read your review on my next episode!

    Sign up for occasional updates and get my free writing guide at http://eepurl.com/qGTP

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

    WE ARE LOOKING FOR A SPONSOR

    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of GenX and Boomer listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

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    Ashton Applewhite on the Ugly Heart of Ageism and How the Pandemic Has Exposed Our Prejudices

    Ashton Applewhite on the Ugly Heart of Ageism and How the Pandemic Has Exposed Our Prejudices

    This podcast is about making the most of the collective gap year that we’re all living through right now. It's a topic that applies to anyone, of any age, but our focus is on those in midlife and older. 

    So today, to kick off 2021, Debbie talks to the perfect guest, Ashton Applewhite. Ashton is an author, speaker and activist on the topic of ageism, which can be defined as discrimination on the basis of age (no matter how old or how young you are). She's  been called a pro-aging radical and the "Malcolm Gladwell of ageism." She and Debbie really get into it in this wide-ranging conversation with Ashton poking and prodding at some of Debbie's assumptions. 

    The topic of ageism (or any -ism) brings up a lot of emotion. Fear is generally at the top of the list so they talk about the fear of getting old and what that means in America. They talk about the value of human lives and why older people are often seen as less valuable or even invisible. And they delve into how the pandemic has revealed the deep well of ageism, as well as racism and ableism, in our society. 

    They also talk about the irony of being ageist yourself, of unconsciously accepting the notion that old is ugly. (Debbie is 69 and Ashton is 68.) Ashton reminds us that studies like the U-Curve of Happiness show older people are happier. They end the conversation with Ashton offering one thing you can do to combat ageism: become aware of when you’re using the word “old” as a negative vs. “young” as a positive. Think about that while you're listening to this provocative episode.

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

     

    Note from Debbie

    I hope you enjoyed this podcast! We are asking our loyal listeners (and new ones too) to show their support by leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts. It takes less than sixty seconds, and it really makes a difference in attracting new listeners and upcoming guests. I might read your review on my next episode!

     

    How to learn more about the podcast
    Sign up for my newsletter (you'll also get my free writing guide) at http://eepurl.com/qGTP

     

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

    WE ARE LOOKING FOR A SPONSOR

    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

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    Debbie & Sam Recap 2020: COVID, Reminiscing on Cold Winter Nights, and Shaving Off His Beard

    Debbie & Sam Recap 2020: COVID, Reminiscing on Cold Winter Nights, and Shaving Off His Beard

    Today, Debbie Weil brings Dr. Sam Harrington, her physician husband, back on the show to wrap up the year 2020. After 8 months of living with COVID as a backdrop, they sit down together to reflect on what lies ahead. 

    First, the vaccine: how will it be distributed, to whom, and in what order? Is this the right order? How should we value human lives? Can the new Biden Administration improve the messaging around COVID and thus slow the continuing spread of the disease? When will life return to normal - or will it ever?

    Sam talks about several books he’s read recently (links below) and they share some of the favorite TV programs they've binge watched. (The complete list is below.) They talk about mini-socializing outdoors, the old-fashioned Pen Pal club they’ve started with their six grandchildren (ages three to ten), the slowing down of time, and the opportunity to reminisce about their past travels during the long, cold, dark winter evenings in Maine. 

    They end with an update on Sam’s beard (hallelujah) and a few predictions for 2021. The podcast will be back in January after a holiday break.

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

     

    PHOTO: Sam, minus beard, caught in the act of smiling.

     

    Previous episodes featuring host Debbie and her husband Sam:

     

    TV programs Debbie & Sam watched (March - Dec. 2020)

    The “Un’s” (their favorites):

     

    They also loved:

    • Succession
    • Shtisel
    • Ozark
    • Normal People
    • Little Fires Everywhere
    • Gentleman Jack
    • Occupied
    • The Vow (about NXIVM)
    • Seduced (about NXIVM)
    • Emily in Paris (Debbie)
    • Call the Midwife
    • The Crown (new season)
    • Mystery Road (set in Australia)
    • Belgravia
    • Room 2806: The Accusation (about Dominique Strauss-Kahn)
    • This Is Us (Debbie was obsessed; Sam refused to watch after 1st season)

     

    More programs they watched:

    • Queens Gambit (didn’t love as much as everyone else seemed to)
    • Homeland (final season)
    • Le Chalet (in French; scary)
    • Deutschland 83
    • Fauda
    • Gold Digger
    • Bosch (Season 6)
    • Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich
    • Babylon Berlin
    • Revenge (Debbie liked more than Sam did)
    • Rodham
    • Greyhound (new Tom Hanks movie)
    • Perry Mason
    • The Baby-Sitters Club
    • Doctor Foster
    • Silent Witness (a few episodes)
    • The Social Dilemma (movie)
    • Flesh and Blood
    • Hillbilly Elegy (film)
    • Mank (film about Herman Mankiewicz)
    • The Life Ahead (new Sophia Loren film)
    • Self Made
    • Chicago Seven (film)
    • Roadkill

     

    Note from Debbie

    I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It takes less than sixty seconds, and it really makes a difference in attracting new listeners and upcoming guests. I might read your review on my next episode!

    Sign up for occasional updates and get my free writing guide at http://eepurl.com/qGTP

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

    THIS PODCAST IS LOOKING FOR A SPONSOR
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    DJ DiDonna on Why Sabbaticals Lead to a Stronger Identity, Increased Happiness, and an Appetite for Change

    DJ DiDonna on Why Sabbaticals Lead to a Stronger Identity, Increased Happiness, and an Appetite for Change

    Today, Debbie Weil brings DJ DiDonna on the show to talk about sabbaticals, first cousins to gap years. DJ  is a graduate of Harvard Business School, co-founder of a socially-conscious financial tech company, and now, an expert on sabbaticals. Like a lot of young entrepreneurs DJ was burned out after working flat out for seven years. So he took two sabbaticals: one to make the famous, 900-mile Shikoku Pilgrimage in Japan. And another to hike and motorcycle across New Zealand.

    Then he founded The Sabbatical Project to explore how and why sabbaticals lead to positive outcomes for working professionals. The goal of the project is to make corporate sabbatical policies more mainstream. He’s collaborating on academic research on the topic with Matt Bloom, a former Notre Dame professor who runs WorkWell Research.

    As noted, a sabbatical is a close cousin to a gap year or timeout and DJ has lots to say about the psychological benefits of taking a timeout, whether it’s voluntary or involuntary. 

    What they talked about

    • The difference between a gap year and a sabbatical
    • A forced sabbatical vs. a chosen sabbatical
    • The most surprising things that happened during DJ's sabbatical pilgrimage in Japan
    • Why we need research on sabbaticals - the results provide incentives and encouragement to companies to offer sabbatical options
    • One surprising discovery of the research: a phenomenon called functional workaholism
    • The courage it takes to take a sabbatical or a gap year and the importance of exemplars
    • Why Debbie and her husband, Sam Harrington, decided to take their Gap Year After Sixty
    • DJ’s book proposal, aptly titled Time Off Well Spent
    • The importance of retrospection and hindsight, during and after  taking a sabbatical

    Mentioned in the episode or useful:


    University sabbatical programs for older adults

     

    Previous podcast episodes about taking a timeout

     

    Photo credit: Cynthia Cendreda

     

    Note from Debbie

    I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It takes less than sixty seconds, and it really makes a difference in attracting new listeners and upcoming guests. I might read your review on my next episode!

    Sign up for occasional updates and get my free writing guide at http://eepurl.com/qGTP

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

    We are looking for a sponsor. If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.

     

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    Paul Jarvis on Work/Life in the Time of COVID, Why Bigger Does Not Mean Success, and Why Simplicity Drives What He Does

    Paul Jarvis on Work/Life in the Time of COVID, Why Bigger Does Not Mean Success, and Why Simplicity Drives What He Does

    Today, Debbie Weil brings Paul Jarvis on the show. An online tech veteran, Paul is an author and a designer of data analytics software and online courses aimed at freelancers. He lives on Canada's Vancouver Island in the Pacific Northwest and has worked with Silicon Valley startups, pro-sports athletes, Fortune 500 companies, and the world's biggest entrepreneurs (like Marie Forleo). But what’s truly notable about Paul is that even before the pandemic he was living an isolated, private, and minimalist life as a solo entrepreneur.

    Paul is the author of Company of One: Why Staying Small is the Next Big Thing for Business. He’s designed a number of online courses, bringing in several million dollars in revenue,  he's the co-founder of Fathom Analytics, and until very recently he wrote a popular weekly newsletter, The Sunday Dispatches, that he sent to his list of 35,000 subscribers. 

    His driving value is simplicity. As he says in this conversation, “I crave simplicity" - especially as it relates to business and work. Meaning how can you solve a business problem simply rather than adding layers of complexity. 

    In mid-November, Paul announced in an email to his 35,000 subscribers that he was halting his newsletter after eight years and also taking a break from podcasts and interviews. He noted that he's been sharing his thoughts online for 20 years. "I don’t want attention or power or admiration," he says. "I don’t want to be a personal brand or a known dude on the internet. I just want to exist and do my work privately." 

    So we’re lucky to have this conversation with him. Debbie hopes you enjoy it as much as she did. And that you take away a few nuggets of wisdom about work - and life - that you can apply in this time of the pandemic. 

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

     

    A podcast episode with another successful solo entrepreneur:

    Derek Sivers on Slow Thinking, Connecting, and Intentional Living

     

    Note from Debbie

    I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It takes less than sixty seconds, and it really makes a difference in attracting new listeners and upcoming guests. I might read your review on my next episode!

    Sign up for occasional updates and get my free writing guide at http://eepurl.com/qGTP

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

    WE ARE LOOKING FOR A SPONSOR
    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife (GenX and Boomer) listeners, who are active, open to adventure and change, and who think differently about lifestyle, finances, and retirement, contact Debbie.

     

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    An 18-Year-Old Reflects on Starting College in Lockdown and What She Will Tell Her Children About the Pandemic

    An 18-Year-Old Reflects on Starting College in Lockdown and What She Will Tell Her Children About the Pandemic

    Debbie Weil chats with her niece, Phoebe Weil, about her experience living through COVID. While the audience for this podcast is those in midlife and older (50-plus), there is a lot to be learned from someone younger about what it’s like to handle the disappointments of the pandemic. Someone who’s been missing out on some of life’s most memorable milestones.

    Debbie knew just the person to tell  this story: her 18-year-old niece. Phoebe missed senior spring of high school, she missed her high school graduation, and now she’s started college where she’s been in lockdown on her campus all fall.

    But she remains so very optimistic. Inspired by Anne Frank, she’s been keeping a journal that she hopes to share, one day, with her children. She’s hitting the books to study organic chemistry (she tells us about the advantage of attending an all women’s college as a science major). And she’s keeping up her YouTube channel, which has over 5,000 subscribers. 

    Phoebe notes that it was Anne Frank's impulse to record history while living through it that inspired her to start writing a journal.  She clarified in an email: "One doesn’t know how powerful an accounting of a historic moment can be while they’re living in it. I wanted to document my day-to-day life so that in the future I could read how I was feeling during the pandemic we live in now. In no way am I equating my experience living in COVID-19 to Anne Frank’s experience in the Holocaust."

    Finally, what’s Phoebe's NEW BEST THING to come out of the pandemic? Writing letters, snail mail letters. And she’s prolific. Her Aunt Debbie and Uncle Sam have received a bunch.

    We can all get a lift from Phoebe’s steady and refreshingly positive attitude.

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

     

    Note from Debbie

    I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It takes less than sixty seconds, and it really makes a difference in attracting new listeners and upcoming guests. I might read your review on my next episode!

    Sign up for occasional updates and get my free writing guide at http://eepurl.com/qGTP

    - Debbie

     

    WE ARE LOOKING FOR A SPONSOR
    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife (GenX and Boomer) listeners, who are open to adventure and change, reinvention at 60+, and who think differently about lifestyle, finances, and retirement, contact Debbie.

     

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    Screenwriter John Mankiewicz on the New Golden Age of Podcasts and Streaming TV

    Screenwriter John Mankiewicz on the New Golden Age of Podcasts and Streaming TV

    Debbie Weil talks to John Mankiewicz, a veteran screenwriter as well as executive producer for TV and film. She asks him what he's working on and what kinds of stories may come out of this era of COVID and the pandemic.  One of his ideas is a show based on people driving around L.A. in their cars, who find themselves unwittingly connected or involved in a frightening conspiracy.

    You’re undoubtedly familiar with several of John's TV series, including House of Cards and Bosch. He co-created, with Anders Weidemann, the CBS All Access series  Interrogation. which aired earlier this year.

    John is Debbie's new neighbor, having left L.A. for Castine, the historic coastal town in Maine where he's living, for the moment, with his family. Castine is an hour from Debbie's home in Stonington. The two met this past summer when both worked on a passalong mystery novel - set in Castine. One person wrote a chapter and then the draft was passed along to another writer who wrote the next chapter and so on. You’ll hear in their conversation how John’s son, Jack Mankiewicz, also a writer, filmmaker and producer, bailed Debbie out when her chapter ended in a dead end.

    Debbie and John talk about the anxiety of these times and the difficulty of writing anything, the transformation of the TV and movie industry in recent years, and the rise of podcasts. They also talk about John’s famous grandfather, Herman Mankiewicz, who wrote the screenplay for the 1941 Citizen Kane, considered by many to be the greatest film ever made. 

    John tells us about his current project, a five-hour podcast about the blacklisted Hollywood Ten, tentatively called The Big Lie, that will be published by Audible in the first half of 2021. 

    His NEW BEST THING as a result of the pandemic? A dog named Daisy from a Southern California lab rescue organization "that has no lab in her." But she is perfect.

     

    Mentioned in this episode or useful:

     

    Movies mentioned by John M. in this episode:

     

    Note from Debbie

    I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It takes less than sixty seconds, and it really makes a difference in attracting new listeners and upcoming guests. I might read your review on my next episode!

    Sign up for occasional updates and get my free writing guide at http://eepurl.com/qGTP

    Connect with me:

    - Debbie

     

    WE ARE LOOKING FOR A SPONSOR
    If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife (GenX and Boomer) listeners, who are active, open to adventure and change, and who think differently about lifestyle, finances, and retirement, contact Debbie.

     

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    Daphne Merkin on Living Through the Pandemic With Serious Clinical Depression

    Daphne Merkin on Living Through the Pandemic With Serious Clinical Depression

    Debbie Weil talks with Daphne Merkin, a highly acclaimed novelist, essayist and literary critic. She is known for writing boldly, without shame or modesty, about depression, obsession, money, sex, family, and religion. Her 2017 memoir, This Close to Happy: A Reckoning With Depression, which was 16 years in the making, got a front page review in The New York Times by Andrew Solomon, another acclaimed author on the topic of depression.

    Daphne's latest novel, 22 Minutes of Unconditional Love, is a powerful story about sex and obsession. And underlying those twin themes, the theme of depression. Today she and Debbie talk not about her books, per se, but about her experience with  clinical depression and what that can teach us in this difficult year of COVID when many of us are experiencing deep uncertainty and anxiety. It's a topic of personal interest to Debbie who is an occasional sufferer of clinical depression. Depression is the story behind the story, if you will, of much of Daphne’s writing.

    Debbie and Daphne explore why real depression - sometimes called endogenous depression - is not talked about, why it is so misunderstood, and why it’s something that NEEDS to be talked about. They talk about how her creativity as a writer, cooped up in her apartment in New York City, has been affected the past few months. They talk about the pros and cons of doing therapy via Zoom. And they talk briefly about Psilocybin and the new psychedelic-assisted therapies for depression. 

    Daphne ends the conversation with some poignant thoughts on what the depths of depression are like and how society has a long way to go to better address depression, as well as thoughts of suicide.  This is a powerful conversation with a brilliant author. Be sure to explore the links to Daphne's writing  below.

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    Debbie’s 90-year-old Dad Talks About the Most Extraordinary Election of His Lifetime

    Debbie’s 90-year-old Dad Talks About the Most Extraordinary Election of His Lifetime

    Debbie Weil brings Frank Weil, her almost 90-year-old father, back on the podcast to give us his perspective on the 2020 presidential election, even as votes are still being counted. Her Dad is a prolific blogger at FAWideas.com, where he regularly offers his thoughts on Democratic politics, including cogent tirades about Donald Trump whom he regards as incompetent, amoral, and dangerous.

    So who else to make better sense of this nail-biting week than her Dad?

     He lives in Washington DC with her mother, Denie Weil; they’ve been married almost 70 years. In the late 1970s, Frank was an Assistant Secretary in the Dept. of Commerce under Jimmy Carter. In the decades since, as well as before, he has been deeply involved in Democratic politics. He’s been an informal advisor to Presidential candidates, including Barack Obama. And he always has an opinion. Plenty of them. 

    They recorded the conversation you’re about to hear in the early afternoon of November 4th. The frustration of the previous night was starting to give way to patience as key swing states and counties continued to count votes. At the time they recorded, there was general agreement that Joe Biden would prevail, narrowly, and become the 46th President of the U.S.

    Frank says this is the most extraordinary election of his lifetime, both in terms of nail-biting outcome but also in view of the massive turnout and unusual process of early voting and mail-in ballots.

    He tells us that his frustration of the past weeks and months has turned into “inspiration” as he ponders the fact that a divided government might be a good thing, because it will force Washington to compromise and therefore better represent the people. He and Debbie take a brief walk down memory lane for some of the most memorable elections of his lifetime, the first being FDR’s unprecedented third election in 1940 with Henry Wallace as his running mate, when Frank was nine years old. When Debbie was nine, she remembers waking up with excitement the morning after Kennedy was elected in 1960.

    There are a few things Debbie and Frank didn’t get around to specifically discussing, including the record turnout, the highest in a century. And they didn’t have enough time to go deeply into examining the divide in this country, between rural and urban, educated and less educated, and the belief in astonishingly opposing narratives.

    You can’t help but sense this man's optimism, despite this difficult year and despite the real difficulties that lie ahead as we try to unite a deeply divided nation. He lets us go with a word of wisdom on the importance of collaboration even with those you don’t agree with.


     

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    Kathleen Billings on Steering a Small Town in Maine Through COVID and a Tense Election Year

    Kathleen Billings on Steering a Small Town in Maine Through COVID and a Tense Election Year

    In this episode, Debbie talks to Kathleen Billings, town manager of Stonington, Maine, the small coastal village on Deer Isle that she and her husband now call home.

    Debbie wanted to talk to a local leader about the challenges of this election and pandemic year and Kathleen was the perfect person. She is matter of fact, deeply knowledgeable, and forthright.

    Kathleen, 56, has been Stonington’s Town Manager for almost 20 years. She tells us how the town’s twin industries of fishing and tourism have fared and how she began to prepare for COVID back in February.  She and Debbie talk about the friction between People From Away (PFA) and locals and how it was exacerbated by COVID. 

    They also talk about the political tensions that Kathleen has had to face this year and how she‘s handled them. On a side note Kathleen talks about the very real issue of rising sea levels and how the town is addressing that.

    They end by reflecting on the year 2020 and how Kathleen has focused on maintaining a positive atmosphere so that everyone can get through this time without being "ground under," as she puts it. She expresses gratitude for the many nonprofits on the island that address community needs.

    PHOTO CREDIT: Debbie Weil

     

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    Some of the local groups on Deer Isle that work together:

     

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    Kerry Hannon on Pajama Jobs, the New Age of Remote Work, and Why Older Workers May Benefit

    Kerry Hannon on Pajama Jobs, the New Age of Remote Work, and Why Older Workers May Benefit

    Today, Debbie talks to Kerry Hannon, author of the new and well-timed Great Pajama Jobs: Your Complete Guide to Working from Home. Kerry is the author of 14 books and an expert on career transitions, entrepreneurship, personal finance, and retirement. She writes regularly for The New York Times, MediaWatch, Forbes and other media outlets, including NextAvenue.org.

    Kerry answers the question: will we ever return to the office or is remote working here to stay? Debbie wishes WFH (working from home) had been an accepted phenomenon decades ago when she had small children.

    Kerry shares some key skills that can make working from home more effective (good communication, discipline, technical literacy) as well as tips for older and more experienced workers, including the semi-retired. She makes the point that work is not just about the money.

    They also talk about ageism, still a pervasive issue in the workplace, and how remote work might alleviate it by focusing attention on performance and productivity.

    Finally, they talk about one of Kerry's favorite topics: cultivating resilience by learning new skills. Expand your brain, she says. Adopt a beginner’s mind, stay open, and take risks. Consider living and working in a foreign country that is welcoming to location-independent workers. 

    Perhaps not compatible with our pandemic world right now, but travel and living somewhere else are often part of a gap year dream.

     

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    A few job boards recommended by Kerry:

     

    Places Kerry recommends to work remotely (once the pandemic is over):

     

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    Juliette Kayyem on the Power of Twitter, Trump's Stochastic Terrorism, and Why She's an Optimist

    Juliette Kayyem on the Power of Twitter, Trump's Stochastic Terrorism, and Why She's an Optimist

    Today Debbie speaks with Juliette Kayyem, a longtime national security and terrorism expert with over 160,000 followers on Twitter. She has an extraordinary resume of public and private service, starting with the Dept. of Justice as a young lawyer, and then joining the National Commission on Terrorism in 1999 and helping to write their report, published in June 2000, recognizing the growing terror threat in the U.S. She gave birth to her first child a few weeks before 9/11.

    She became the Assistant Secretary for Intergovernmental Affairs in the Department of Homeland Security, where she handled the agency's response to the H1N1 pandemic and orchestrated the complicated government response to the BP oil spill in 2010. 

    Later she became a Pulitzer Prize-nominated columnist for The Boston Globe and started her own consulting company. She's now a professor at the Harvard Kennedy School and an analyst for CNN. She's also, importantly, the mother of three and the author of a terrific book - part memoir, part primer - titled Security Mom: My Life Protecting the Home and Homeland. Disaster is her thing, or as she puts it: "Sh*t happens."  It's how you assess risk, prepare for, and respond  to disaster that counts.

    They recorded this conversation before Trump tested positive for COVID so you won’t hear mention of that. But they do talk about the sense of anxiety in this country right now, both because of COVID and because of the current President. And about Trump’s attempts to stoke fear, and to incite violence, with his veiled but clear Tweets. She calls what Trump does on Twitter #stochasticterrorism. To her delight, it’s been adopted as a hash tag. It means random and unpredictable violence which, she tells us, is the definition of terrorism.

    Debbie loved this brief conversation and hopes you will too. Juliette is an optimist and endlessly energetic. She's a breath of fresh air during this anxiety-ridden period in the U.S. Towards the end of the interview, she says she has to get off the call to get ready for a CNN appearance. She's 51, she tells us, so she needs time to do her hair and make-up. The CNN segment, on which she appeared minutes later, showed her ready for primetime, Zooming in from her home in Cambridge, Massachusetts. 

    Tune in to hear from an optimistic and inspiring Security Mom (a play on Soccer Mom, in case that didn't jump out at you!).

     

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    The View From London: Alyson Hoggart on Coping With COVID, Speeding Up Relationships, and the Importance of Communicating

    The View From London:  Alyson Hoggart on Coping With COVID, Speeding Up Relationships, and the Importance of Communicating

    Note: The Gap Year Podcast is looking for a sponsor! If you are interested in reaching a smart and thoughtful audience of midlife, and older, listeners, contact Debbie Weil.  More about the show here.

    Debbie brings Alyson Hoggart, one of her oldest and most special friends, onto the show. She and Alyson have a transatlantic friendship of many decades. They are age mates, with almost identical birthdays in the same birth year. 

    They chat about what it’s been like in Europe during COVID, with some interesting detours into Alyson’s life as a widow, with a new boyfriend. They talk about how the lockdown has speeded up this new relationship.

    Alyson is a retired psychologist and one of the most insightful people Debbie knows. So she picks her brain for a few tips on how to cope, psychologically, during this period of social distancing. 

    They chat briefly about Alyson's children. Amy Hoggart is a well-known actor, writer, and comedian who lives in New York. (Don't miss Amy's hilarious appearances on Full Frontal With Samantha Bee.) Her son Richard, a lawyer, lives in London.

    They  also talk about Alyson's website, My Horrid Parent. It’s a site with resources for how to cope with a difficult parent, one who is especially critical or judgmental. It's aimed at the young but also the not-so-young. The topic is especially relevant right now for someone younger who may be unexpectedly stuck at home with a parent. Or for those dealing with an isolated elderly parent. 

    It was great for Debbie to catch up with Alyson and she hopes you enjoy listening in to this conversation about life across the pond. Don't miss the bit about Richard's COVID cat.

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    Guy Kawasaki Gets Serious About His Better Normal, the American Experiment, and What History Will Say About 2020

    Guy Kawasaki Gets Serious About His Better Normal, the American Experiment, and What History Will Say About 2020

    Guy Kawasaki is a Silicon Valley legend. He’s worked with Steve Jobs at Apple, he’s written 15 books, and until recently, he was traveling all over the world for speaking engagements. He's also the creator and host of the Remarkable People podcast. He was a guest on Season 2 of this podcast.

    On today’s episode, Debbie and Guy unpack the last few months. They talk about how the pandemic has changed Guy's life, how it has impacted his income, and what has been his ONE BEST THING during this strange time.

    They also dive into the upcoming November elections in the U.S. Guy gets serious about the potential failure of the American Experiment, ponders how we can each make a difference, and wonders how history will remember the year 2020.

    Guy also talks about his biggest lesson learned from 42 episodes of Remarkable People. Tune in for a surprisingly revealing conversation with the one and only Guy Kawasaki.

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    Debbie and Sam on The Gap Year For Everyone, Silver Linings, Not Should’ing, and Season 3

    Debbie and Sam on The Gap Year For Everyone, Silver Linings, Not Should’ing, and Season 3

    Debbie brings her husband Sam back on the show to reflect on this remarkable year of 2020 and to wrap up Season 2 of the podcast. Since the beginning of the pandemic, she has published almost twice as many episodes as the usual every other week schedule. Debbie shares with Sam how creating and producing the podcast has kept her sane.

    She finds comfort in knowing that this podcast was a way to maintain her sanity while also sharing the stories of others: about getting comfortable with death,  about changing your mindset, about the future of travel, about stepping into a leadership role, about the science of happiness, among many other topics.

    In this final episode of Season 2, she and Sam reflect on the past few months of this new normal. Sam shares how routine has been the key to getting through this time for him - in fact to enjoying this time. They share a few silver linings of social distancing. And they talk about should-ing and putting pressure on themselves to accomplish things. Debbie admits that she has relaxed a little about that as the weeks have gone by.

    Finally, they look ahead at Season 3. The season will explore the gap year we’ve all been forced to take, collective reinvention, change and transition - along with how to figure out what’s next in midlife and beyond. And even though that is a broader topic than gap years, per se, they both decide that Gap Year should remain the title for this podcast. See you in the fall for Season 3 of The Gap Year Podcast!

     

    What Debbie and Sam talked about:

    • What has kept Debbie sane: meeting podcast deadlines and finding and interviewing thought-provoking guests
    • Sam’s sanity: his daily routine of cooking, shopping, exercise (writing on pause)
    • Their different relationships to should’ing on themselves
    • Silver linings of 2020 so far: socializing with two friends at a time (instead of in big groups)
    • The uncertainty of the future and the November elections
    • Polarization in Maine as it relates to the pandemic
    • 2020: a sort of gap year for everyone
    • How to use this slowing down time intentionally

     

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    Chip Conley on the Future of Travel, the Journey Within, and Hitting Play After the Pause

    Chip Conley on the Future of Travel, the Journey Within, and Hitting Play After the Pause

    Debbie brings Chip back on the show to discuss the future of travel, what travel means for many of us, and what the substitutions might be.

    Chip is a New York Times bestselling author, a thought leader at the intersection of psychology and business, and an influential hospitality entrepreneur. Recently he has become a rockstar of the mid-life transition movement, as the founder of Modern Elder Academy in Baja, Mexico. Chip was a guest on Season 1 of this podcast over a year ago, right after Debbie attended one of MEA’s week-long programs, a transformative experience.

    We’ve all been wondering what travel will look like in the future, whether it’s for a gap year or timeout, or for bucket list destinations.  Debbie felt Chip was just the right person to talk to about this.

    They discuss how digital nomads might become mainstream now that remote working is becoming the norm. Chip shares his prognostications about the future of travel: what kind of travel will come back first? What parts of the industry will NOT come back?

    They also talk about how to reinvent yourself without travel (connect with nature, connect with yourself via mindfulness, yoga, journaling) and how to satisfy your cultural curiosity without getting on a plane.

    Chip shares one of his “Chip-isms” (as Debbie calls his wordplays) on the current situation and they talk about some of the silver linings of their respective lockdown experiences.

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    PHOTO CREDIT: Lisa Keating

     

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