Brilliant Observations

Happy Feet had his heartsong. The rest of us, if Mallory's college classmate is to be trusted, have a Poopsong. And the lucky few? A Pooping Playlist. You know. For those very long, very strenuous "moments." And with that, we’re back to our old tricks, Dear Listener, with plenty of silly, sing-songy, potty humory talkie talk for your listening pleasure. 

Do we also manage to dabble in politics, however briefly? Why yes, yes we do. But only as long as it takes to lace a pair of solid gold sneakers. 

We also cover the magic of aging, the importance of a proper Swedish Death Clean and Amy's bout with ayahuaska (caribe edition). Clip in, friends! It's one hell of a ride!

We’ve had a bit of a viral moment on TikTok this week, Dear Listener, and wouldn’t you know it’s about some questionable activity (wholly endorsed). What can I say? Sometimes the things in my head come out of my face. And in this case, the things coming out of my face happened in the bathroom. Interested? Then listen on, Dear Listener — this episode is for you. 

Topics covered include All Things Underpants (from going commando to carrying a spare pair to stray toilet paper mysteriously stuck to the wall), the phenomenon of TikTok sensation ReesaTeesa, and our personal favorite, Credit Card Fraud: How Would You Do It? We posed this HYPOTHETICAL question on TikTok in hopes of crowd sourcing some answers, and boy did the internet deliver. Check us out on TikTok at your own risk.

And just in case no one’s told you this today, we love giving joke advice, which is not the same as actual advice to you or your loved ones. This show is for entertainment purposes only. The thoughts and views expressed are not legal advice, or medical advice, or lifestyle advice, or any advice worth listening to, frankly. 

Funk around and find out rules apply.    

You've heard of snakes on a plane. Welp, there's no preparing you for what these Amsterdamians decided to transport. Continuing with the Animals Gone Wild theme, Missy shares news of the world's first (potentially) immaculate conception, sting-ray style. Just as scripture foretold, this too leaves us guessing as to who done messed with that unsuspecting lady. (My money's on the shark.)
All that plus Weed Goes to the Theatre, Weed Goes to Work and Weeeeeee All the way Home. Join us for a laugh, won't you?

It's Valentine's Day week, Dear Listener, and we'd like to be the first to tell you how much genuine LOVE and appreciation we feel for your laughs, shares, well-wishes and attention episode after heartfelt episode. Sending bladder-straining giggles your way is the honor and highlight of our week. 
More news and notes to come! For now, biggest love to you and yours.  

Talk about a Money Corner! Holy Listener Feedback, Dear Listener. We peed all over you last week, and boy did you respond. (Don't worry if you missed it — you can always give last week's episode a listen if you're looking for a raucous laugh.)
"Back to the car."
Do you know which social media platform is most used by adults? Indeed you do not, Dear Listener, as Melissa so shockingly clarifies for us this week. It's all part of the rough-and-tumble chaos of life in the junk drawer, I guess. Happy listening!

This just in: life's not fair, Dear Listener... right down to the range of personal greetings doled out at the local supermarket. But just like sanitation codes at the bulk bean display, Amy won't let a little thing like fairness stop her from barrelling through this world with a fist in the air in defence of the smile in her heart. Laugh along with us this week as we cover abbreviations as disconnected as DMV snubs, NFL team names, VIP shopping status and OG GPS SOBs.
All that, plus Missy loses her mind with the world's longest silent laugh. Not neessarily great for pod, but just the thing for those of you laughing along at home.  

$120 manicures lead Missy to question everything — including Amy's apparent fetish with sliding her fingers into unwashed bean barrels at the corner deli. It's a thing. Right?

See the video for yourself on TikTok: ListenBrilliant

All that, plus Missy says goodbye, sort of, to the boy as he flies off to Australia. Depending on when you download this episode, he may still be in the air. (Just kidding. He's confirmed it's a G'day Down Undah.) 

We're growing our audience on TikTok, Dear Listener, so we've placed a little behind the scenes video there for your enjoyment. Hop on over to ListenBrilliant (on any of the socials, really) for a peek at Missy and Amy as they attempt to solve the latest crime thriller: who pooped on Missy's driveway? 

It's Microwave Mania, Dear Listener, as the Brilliant Household bares its disfunctional soul for all to hear. Not to be outdone, Biohazard Amy makes another unscheduled, yet inexplicable appearance.  And Melissa continues her yearly Crusade against Christmas "Culture." Screw you, Santa. 

We're shooting squirrels and picking up girls, Dear Listener, so why not load up on the bad decisions, grab your favorite friend by the cheeks and give em a great big smooch on the mouth!

Or maybe take our New Year's Prompt to heart and consider not doing any of that stuff... and decide instead to look forward as you look back. 

What will you Stop doing in 2024? 

What will you Start doing? 

We certainly know what you'll Continue doing — and that's listening to our beloved show. Find us on TikTok just as soon as we start videotaping our recordcing sessions.

Note to future self: must Start. Must Start. Must Start. 

If ever you’ve wondered when it was time to stop doing what you’re doing, try reading your mail. Brilliant Observations Administrative Team receives a surprising Cease and Desist letter from a loser with no ideas. And Missy takes decisive action. 

Plus, big shocker, Amy finds herself a little too mouthy with just about everyone. But don't worry, kids. It all works out in the end. 

It’s the Fancy Pants episode, Dear Listener, replete with holiday tips and tricks for shaming fellow passengers on international flights. Hot cocoa recipes, dueling cheese straws, jingle bells, men’s footwear fashion, and all the lighthearted conversation you’d expect among strangers at a holiday party. Pull out your fancy sweatpants, kids. This one’s special! 

Plus, Missy slides down skanky sponge mountain. And Amy shares how (once again) to continuously operate a vehicle without a single drop of gas. 

Bonus Content!

Ho-Ho-Who Let This Grinch Come To The Party? 

Amy attends a client’s (dry) end of year gathering, only to be cornered by a disgruntled stranger ready to unload a year’s worth of feedback. Good thing she pretended to be someone else. 

To Be (right) or Not To Be (rude), that, Dear Listener, is the question we tackle this week, along with a healthy dose of Who Needs Evidence?, Guess This Postal MESS, and the Florida Follies! Are you ready?

How could you be.  

Join Melissa and Amy for another lighthearted romp through their post-Thanksgiving-holiday week, including airplane shenanigans, mildly senile parents, and one very special weekend for the boy across the pond. 

Get the tissues ready. Not that way. Ew. 

Dear Listener, do you suffer from Resting Bitch Face? Boy, do we have the internal oral massage for you (with gloves, of course). Laugh in moderate disgust as we joke our way through the glories of wrinkle-reducing face tape, broken Thanksgiving ovens, spilled cocktails and the endlessly fascinting people that you meet at the Dispensary (Family Edition).

Wanna hear the full Thanksgiving menu? Complete details, tasting notes and a hint at preparation methods at the very tail end of the show. It's an apple cider brined turkey, y'all. Shut yo damn mouth.

Looking for an old-fashioned antidote to all those Thanksgiving blessings? Try the Catholic method and focus on CONFESSING! Amy kicks things off with several low-grade felonies, including retail fraud and vehicular wrecklessness. Then Missy joins the fun with a free-wheeling endorsement of this week's spa-based "treatment," the exotic Six Hands Massage.  

It's a thing. 

Sibian much? 

Happy Thanksgiving, Dear Listener. If you can make it all the way to the end, hear Missy tear up as we describe in vivid detail just how grateful we are for you. Now go spread some love, ya filthy animals!

Two things can be true, Dear Listener. First, Missy donates her hard-won discretionary time — at great personal risk, we might add — for the betterment of democracy. And, Missy realizes she's currently living in the Best Time of Her Life. 

Is this is a disconnect? Has she somehow diassociated from the throngs of far-too-easily ruffled eligible voters of southern Pennsylvania?

Nah. She's just grateful for everything these days. Especially banana taffy. 

Share this episode with a friend. Or better yet, make a new one by sharing the entire show. Just text someone who loves to laugh and tell them to give Brilliant Observations a try. We're grateful for you. 

Now let's get TOSSED! 

Best names ever, the art and science of being a poor sport, plus a special trip to Shartford, Connecticut. We cover it all this week, Dear Listener, and just in time for the weekend (even though with Daylight Savings Time and jet lag it should really be...)

Special shoutout to the lovely "asshats" (surely she didn't say "asshat") at the Mindful Mavens podcast — give them a listen for peaceful, enlightened conversation. 

Grateful for you, kids. Mean it. 

Ever have a “friend” act more like a rabid raccoon? It’s a Write-In Mystery this week, Dear Listener, and as predicted, Amy and Missy love not to help. Hear our off the cuff advice for a Listener suffering the indignities of an over-stepper doing a little too much helping himself-ing. 

Plus, the 80s theme 50th birthday party featuring karaoke is a huge hit. So why is Melissa so mad? Oh, that’s right. Because Amy refuses to do anything she’s told. 

Surprise, surprise! 

All this and still so much more. Give us a listen! You’re gonna like the way you look.  

Can you believe it? It's Skimpy Sequin Season, Dear Listener, which means everything from sacred relious ceremonies to time-honored teen traditions are awash in too short, too sheer, too sparkly and too shocking "formal" wear.

All of which leads us to lament the untimely death of Suzanne Somers (as you do), sample new and various weed gummies, and partially report on the latest family scandal. (It's a doozy!) So what say you? Are you ready for some scandalous whoremongering? Of course you are. 

Why do we even ask?