Carroll Worldwide

A local nail salon is having a little too much fun with womens' feet. Dennis finds a story about uncle dads that trumps Randy's redneck lineage. A dog decided to ruin Sherri's day, while she was on the way to the podcast. Sherri tells us of a local newspaper stealing scumbag who is caught stealing newspapers with the help of a Ring Video Camera. Randy gets the ultimate high-ground on one of his biggest rivals. Bonus: Someone needs a "private" autopsy company.

The gang decides that a disturbing image depicting children engaged in a lip-lock (made by the Concerned Parents of Carroll County) should be much more concerning. Concerning cameras, however, Big Randy remains the concerned Alpha Sigma of neighborhood tactical intelligence. Sherri is less concerned with people breaking into her house, while Dennis doesn't concern masks to racism unlike some other fake accounts concerning the Carroll County Times page.

The gang talks about what they did during their break. Randy does a spot on impression of Anthony Soprano Jr. Sherri brags about having no friends. And we uncover an Instacart grift that blows up into a biggest drama of 2022 on the Westminster Community Online. It's so bad that Dennis leaves the podcast early. Sherri proclaims the customer is not always right!

Join the gang as we bring you our annual Holiday episode. A timeless holiday classic, will the Bitch succeed in ruining Christmas for all the Westys down in Westnumbstern? Sit back with your cocoa in front of a roaring fire and enjoy our gift to you, completely uncensored and NSFW.

Twas the Gary before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a wall was left standing
Not even this louse

The drywall was hung
With a belch and a swear
No MHIC either
He just doesn't care

The children were horrified
hiding in their bed
The reviews of his work
Oh, what they read

Passed out at the library
A filthy redneck
We' re calling our lawyer
Just look at our deck!

When out on the lawn
There arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see
What was the matter

When what to my wondering eye
Should appear?
He knocked over my mailbox
And he's drenched in cheap beer

Out of the cab he fell
So angry and drunk
He cussed up a storm
And wow he sure stunk

He asked for down payment
On work to be done
I asked for his license
He said he had none

I told him to go
Gooobye and goodnight
He threw up and said
"Hey you wanna fight?"

As the cab drove away
And I wished him to hell
"We just hired a crackhead"
As the front gutters fell.

Carroll Worldwide welcomes Doug Weatherholtz of Island Green Family Fun Center! Doug talks about all the new goings on at Island Green, especially his new pub and grill! Dennis makes Randy and Sherri want to lay down and die. Sherri makes us all want to catch "these hands".

This episode sponsored by Island Green Family Fun Center!

Randy recounts the Sykesville Craft Beer Festival and smashes some craft brews and some false information. Dennis admits to liking a taboo drink once in a while. The gang gets hot and heavy over using other people's trash cans, panties left at a BBQ joint, and a couch for sale which includes bodily fluids. And we're left with the big question: What the hell did Taylor Swift do to Sherri???

Carroll Worldwide celebrates their 100th episode with special guests: Dennis' dog, Trash Panda, The Groundhog That Got Shot By The Sherrif A Few Years Ago, and our very special honored and world renown guest: THE Harper Smythe! And of course we cover local topics, like kids vandalizing local property, and people crying over a local festival that had COVID requirements.

The gang tackles the big issues this week; who can dress as whom this Halloween? Why are there so many creepers in Hamchester? What can you do with a set of 125 test tubes? When is Halloween? And perhaps the most disturbing Top Ten to date.

Randy is in Facebook jail and now might get cancelled for cultural appropriation. Sherri showcases an amazing find on a local yardsale group. Dennis ruminates on putting trashing up people's trash with trash. We cover Westnubsterm's Cow County's Best winners! A curious job listing is creeping everyone out. And....did someone Tik Tok after causing a 6 car accident on Rt 140? Also, want to hear Dennis rap? Check out this trashy hip hoppin' episode!

Our most fired-up episode ever! Sherri discusses a person who literally called the police because she found a book with sexual content in a high school library. (Will she call the cops on The Internet, also?). A new home rental is showcased on CWW-QVC, Randy is still obsessed with Carroll County geospatial intelligence. Dennis digs deep into why one should tip when carrying out.

Carroll County hates kids so much that parents are beating up children at a local football game. We continue to unravel Sherri's scandalous love life. A Violin scammer is ravaging the strip malls of Westminster. Someone is selling a box of vintage Playboys, but sucks at negotiation. What more do you need? Oh, aside from another glorious Top 10?

A woman posts in The Eldersburg Online Community group, about seeing a bear, and get bullied. A very overweight man robs someone in a parking lot and then....runs? A man robs a local church at knifepoint, and "unrelated", our least favorite unlicensed contractor is ripping off more people. And BONUS: Does Sherri have a new romantic prospect? This one is JUICY!

Dennis dismisses "Westy" as the nickname for Westminster. Randy reads a whole article and transcends the cognitive dissonant. Sherri has some good advice for those upset about school masks. The gang reviews a list of the only acceptable restaurants in Eldersburg, as well as a new crop of horrifying grocery store names.

Our guest, former Westminster City Mayor Joe Dominick shares his thoughts on his time as mayor, local politics, Facebook recommendations, and of course, new restaurant openings. What is "MILF Mountain"? Perhaps Dennis can explain. Randy insults a 5 year old Child, and Sherri gives us the top 10 reasons Joe didn't run for a second term.

Special Guest Graham Dodge from MAGIC tells us all about the Autonomous Corridor, Good Gaming Fest and other great technical things coming to Westminster. Sherri recaps PRIDE fest. Randy tells a story about a misogynistic dead beat dad unicorn. Dennis is accused and does accuse of someone in the room being Harper Smythe!

Dennis, Randy and Sherri catch up in a post-COVID Carroll County. Randy bashes carnies, Sherri declares Fathers day a day of white privilege, Dennis explores Westnubsterm's parallels in a WOC shakeup, and you'll never believe who has the best crabcakes in Eldersburg!

Dennis takes us into the parallel universe where Wokeminster and Trumple County are sharply divided and engaged in war. Sherri opens up about her love life and accuses  Randy of being Oprah. We learn some disappointing facts about "Little Randy", and Sherri's Top 10 becomes self aware!

Westnubsterm becomes the New Median Grade. Baseball fields forked, Cops storming Wendy's and vandalism spark the Next Mediation of Graffiti. An opinion is voiced on the Neighborhood Municipal Government.