Coronatose™

These days, I don't really have time to do podcasts. I mean, like, I would ... if more people listened and if anyone paid me. But we got a banger banger coming soon with Lem Butler aka DJ Pez so make sure you check for that. Pez is a great dude and a legit superstar of the coffee world. Find out what happens when a hip hop DJ takes a chance on a new hobby and turns it into a career, a business, and a lifestyle. Only on Lurk Mode with J Waves.

So on Saturday I had myself quite an evening during the Pride festivites. I linked up with some great people and went to a drag show called Bizarre at Ruby Deluxe hosted by my girl Derelict. Everything was great until something happened that made me squirm because I take my fashion very seriously, thus I feel the need to protect my clothes at all costs. The show itself was awesome, but you can't have a clean-freak Virgo like me in the front row if things are gon be poppin LITERALLY. What does that mean exactly? Better listen to find out. Before the episode is over, I'll be naked with a disaster on my hands.

Bizarre was founded in 2017 and is Raleigh's first and only horror/oddity based drag show. It was booked for 3 years by Daniel Thomas who also curated the house cast that continues to perform at their events. I highly recommend checking out one of their shows. Don't forget to tip!

All music in this episode courtesy of Juan Huevos. DM @officialjwaves for more details.

This episode originally premiered on Lurk Mode on 06/28/21.

If you need podcast services from story development to recording to editing to publishing, Sparse Mansion Media can help. Contact Jon Gregory at sparsemansionmediaLLC@gmail.com for inquiries.

The stars have apparently aligned in the shape of a McRib because FINALLY my best friend Jake Neal is appearing on the show!

It's been a long time coming but you have to understand: while this man is incredibly talented, he is best appreciated spontaneously. His off the cuff humor and quick wit need to be observed in the wild to truly be at their best, and while we used to perform together as rappers, a true "show" from Jake has become a one-on-one affair, with him freestyling in your ear as the bar closes but your mind expands. We're talking about a man who might be one of the funniest people you'll ever meet, as well as one of the best improvisational MCs ... but whose kryptonite is the red "recording" light.

If you know me well then you certainly must know him, mostly from our rap groups Living Dead and Diamond Studs. But also as "men about town" or "party animals" or "Wolverine and the big Russian". We've done a lot of bad shit we couldn't talk about on this podcast but we've also done a lot of good things! Like ... um ... there was that one time .... well, anyway. The best thing Jake ever did was leave the stage to pursue a proper career as an electrician, a decision I am constantly envious of because he is now a professional businessman and I am a washed-up rapper. His oldest friends might still call him Flex, his fans call him Jake Dead, but many of you know him as Electric Jake, a name that, while job-related, certainly fits his electrifying personality.

I could go on and on but that's what the podcast is for. For this episode I bit a concept off Hot Ones and forced us to eat a boxed set of Anton Berg liqueur bottles throughout the course of the show. I can't say it had the same effect as spicy wings but it did lead to some interesting mouth noises. TRIGGER WARNING: MOUTH NOISES. This ain't yo mamma's ASMR! PS I am obsessed with ASMR at the moment and listen to it every night as I pray for sleep.

Check out "Meeting Comics" from Andrew Neal aka Andy Neal (Jake's brother) at his website.

If you are listening, PRETTY PLEASE (and ugly please too) SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW!! We need it to survive over here. It is literally the life's blood of this podcast. It is what I feed off, like a vampire. I don't want your money (yet), just a few clicks ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ and few kind words. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR TO CONTINUE MAKING THIS FINE PROGRAM? Methinks not. Follow me on Insta and let me know how you really feel.

Music sampled in this episode:

Record Haters - E-40
Conceited - Remy Ma
Pass The Courvoisier Part 2 - Busta Rhymes
Project X - Jake Dead
Raid - Madvillain
Kitty Cat Voice Box Jr - Jake Dead

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Our theme song is me crooning over "Neg-Fi" by Modern Leather

And be sure to check out Sparse Mansion Media's other podcasts:
Bachelor Massacre
Lurk Mode

ICYMI, the team at Sparse Mansion Media (the digital media company that produces Coronatose™ amongst other projects) has a brand new podcast streaming now called Lurk Mode. Once again, Jon Gregory aka J Waves (neé Juan Huevos) will be on his podcast flex with music industry and influencer interviews, TV and movie reviews and recaps, and diatribes/tributes re: all things RAP RELATED.

Featured guests so far have included hip hop artist, podcast host, and author Eric Steuer and Giovanni Marks: a rapper, producer, and international man of mystery. We are also on Week 3 of our Bachelor Season 25 recaps, featuring Waves and radio-DJ-turned-BO$$ MandySays talking shit as they try not to fall asleep after watching the show.

Be sure to like, subscribe, follow, sell your soul, and review and be on the lookout for more episodes of Coronatose™ and Lurk Mode coming soon. Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon, Google Play, and all the other weird lil crev places you might listen to content.

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Need podcast production? Hit us up at sparsemansionmediallc@gmail.com

Dang y'all! Remember this podcast I used to do?? What a wild ride. After the world hit an all-time low back in June I just gave up on everything and accepted that getting high and playing video games and brushing my cat and running in the woods were about the only things I was up for. But I am slowly coming out of my cage and I've been doing (mostly) fine.

My biggest news is that I am finally getting my podcast LURK MODE up and running, which has been my goal all along. So why another episode of Coronatose?

Long story short, when I found out that the wife of my good friend (and former guest) Scotty Boombox had COVID-19, I knew that it was time for a follow-up episode. Scotty and I have been planning on doing a podcast of our own so we saw this as a way to jump back in the booth and talk about some relevant shit while still probably laughing about it too much.

We rap about the elephant in the room as well as robes, Bo Bice, neti pots, scarlet fever, and sticking swabs where you most CERTAINLY don't want to have one stuck.

#cockswab

Our theme song is me crooning over "Neg-Fi" by Modern Leather

Music featured in this ep:

"I Write Sins Not Tragedies" - Panic! At The Disco

Today's date is Tuesday, June 16th, 2020. And it's been challenging to get back on the ball with Coronatose after all that has been happening in America. You can tell by my intro that I wanted use my voice to say something, anything, but that I am still learning how to do it confidently. I think a lot us are in that state right now.

And while we all probably know the names George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Arbery by now, even in the time I have been preparing this episode for upload more Black people have senselessly died: Rayshard Brooks was killed by police in Atlanta, and two men were found HANGING FROM TREES IN CALIFORNIA: Robert Fuller and Malcolm Harsch. If you think those were suicides, you's a mother fucking fool!

This show is meant to be entertaining, but it doesn't mean I can just shy away from real life shit. And while we will continue to keep it entertaining, I had to hit pause for a minute.

The guest on this episode is someone I have known for a really long time and while there are so many ways that we could have cut up on a podcast, I wanted to take advantage of the fact that he lives in the heart of Chicago where there was a lot of protest and looting action the past few weeks, and to have him describe what it's been like. Marijuana is also legal there so we talk about how cultivating his own personal garden has been a major stress reliever during quarantine and the unrest that has surrounded him. I know him as my Uncle Tane but to the rest of the world he is often referred to as Choo Choo Tane or Top Heavy Gazelle.

He made a short video exploring a post-George Floyd Logan Square that you can watch here. Be warned, there is some audio from Floyd's murder present in the video.

#blacklivesmatter

Thank you to everyone who has been listening. Please address any questions or comments to coronatose@gmail.com. That is also the only place I will accept requests to be on the show. Don't hit me up on Facebook talking about your latest project when it's obvious you haven't even listened before.

Our outro song is "Chiraq (Remix)" by Montana of 300 from Chicago and is one of my favorite hard rap performances of all time.

Other music featured in this episode:

"Lost At Birth" - Public Enemy
"Brooklyn Zoo" - Ol' Dirty Bastard
"FDT" - YG ft. Nipsey Hussle
"Sweet Home Chicago" - Robert Johnson
"Friday" - Ice Cube
"Funky Dividends" - Three Times Dope
"Hits from the Bong (Instrumental)" - Cypress Hill 

It's Memorial Day. A day we honor heroes. And who better to honor than musical powerhouse Missy Thangs. And what better way to do it than stay inside and listen to a podcast as our fellow Americans are out rampantly spreading coronavirus.

Missy and I have been tight since, I dunno, 2006? 2007? We kinda met when she would buy pork chops from me at the meat counter at Whole Foods but we soon realized we were both cute upstarts in our local music scene. The only thing bigger than her smile was her earrings and maybe her hair. She's been a great friend and we were even roommates for a flash but now she is a mom and a superproducer/engineer at Fidelitorium Recordings so she stays pretty dang busy. Her list of credits is numerous but you can check out some projects she was involved with (and some of her own jams) here.

She was just profiled in this book so obvi I'm lucky to have her on this show. And, like, she's in Birds Of Avalon yo. Plus she used to play in The Love Language with previous guest Stu McLamb. She got chops!

#poop

Please send any correspondence to coronatose@gmail.com

Our theme song is me crooning over "Neg-Fi" by Modern Leather

Our outro music is "One Story Diamond (DEMO)" by Missy Thangs

There is a band from Asheville, NC that I have been obsessed with since the Myspace Era (sidebar: I just went to the site, they actually have, like, current pop culture news on there LOL who is looking at that??) called RBTS WIN and one of the founding members (Javier Francisco Bolea) dropped a solo record on 4/20 of this year called Death Cash America under the name Boy In Sleep. And I love it.

I wanted to connect with him and talk about the record, essentially review it while he was there to offer up little gems about the tracks and confirm or deny my opinions. Of course we discuss his "creative process" and his "mindstate" while working on these "tracks" in the "studio". (Even if the "studio" was just him working on his laptop in a coffee shop or on his porch.)

I highly recommend copping this album and letting it be a part of the soundtrack of your life. Javi is a super sweet dude and really smart and he was a pleasure to talk to. And this album has greatly improved my otherwise-impaired Spring season.

PS shout out to Spring for hanging out so long this year. It ain't hot and humid in NC yet WTF let's enjoy it while we can.

To holler at me with any thoughts/feelings/issues or to ask me out, slide into coronatose@gmail.com

Boy In Sleep Insta
RBTS WIN Insta
Mother Hood Bandcamp
Spaceman Jones And The Motherships on YouTube

Our theme song is "Neg-Fi" by Modern Leather

Our outro music is "I Got Problems" by RBTS WIN

Lawd, I apologize for the lengthy intro, was it the CBD???

This episode was meant to just be some bonus content. John Harrison aka Jphono1 and I were talking on the phone re: some questions I had about a performance he had streamed, then I asked him about his appearance in the New York Times and decided to record THAT for bonus content ... but then I remembered I just HAD to ask him about all this baking he had been doing (Pineapple Upside-Down Cupcakes?? BRUH.) and we ended up with a full episode on that topic alone. Well, with some sidebars, but all of them are related to food.

One thing we discuss is the merits of anchovies, and we muse on the idea of an anchovy cocktail and I found this dope recipe from Alie Ward and Georgia Hardstark. Is "Hardstark" not the toughest name of all time?? Dang!

Jphono1 has a new album out that you can peruse here ... buy that shit! John needs more attachments for his mixer, despite how overwhelmed he feels about it all.

Please enjoy this CARBTASTIC episode from our crumb-covered mouths to your waxy ears.

CBD purchased from Timberwood Organics in Efland, NC. Mention code CORONATOSE to receive nothing.

Our theme song is me crooning over "Neg-Fi" by Modern Leather

Our outro music is "Gold" by Jphono1 & The Chevrons

I love Star Wars but I refuse to say some shit like "May the fourth be with you!" It makes me think of the time I played with MC Frontalot at Local 506 and the place was packed with all his nerdy ass fans and my group Pink Motor Monsters (which was pretty nerdy too, I feel) was opening and we were getting ZERO love and then I dropped the line "your Han Solo gear is the hipster type / you won't join the dark side, your sister might" and everyone wents nuts for like three seconds and then immediately went stoic again.

This is our tenth OFFICIAL episode of Coronatose and in the intro I say we've only been doing this a little over a month but it's actually been closer to two whole months! This shit is so much work so if you are listening THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. Having fun conversations with people is one of the best things in the world. Editing podcasts is one of the worst things in the world. And never the twain shall meet. Except they do. Here. On Coronatose. My white whale.

I wanted to celebrate it with a bang so I decided to call my favorite cool dad who doesn't have dad bod, Scotty Boombox. This guy is a true "the man, the myth, the legend" type. We've shared so many laughs and definitely done and seen things together that I wish I could speak on publicly, but alas, I cannot. Perhapseth one day. But we've been talking about him making an appearance since the inception of the show and I wanted us to save ourselves till the tenth episode to give us something to look forward to.

From saving a celebrity baby's life to displaying his incredible voiceover skills to breaking down his patented-and-published theory of "Poo-Poo Per Household" physics, this is yet another classic convo with another classic human. And I'm lit and ready to stomp all over all the great stuff he has to say, which is classic me. The whole shit is classic! CLASSIC!! But not classy. Y'all ready for this??

THE CORONATOSE PODCAST TENTH EPISODIVERSARY SPECIAL! Brought to you by Fracktown Gumshoe.

Get to know poet D. A. Yew on his website or his Instagram.

Our theme song is me crooning over "Neg-Fi" by Modern Leather

Our outro music is "Too Much Video Tape" by Scotty Boombox feat. Juan Huevos

I met Eric Deines during the Myspace Era when he was just a fresh-faced golden boy, his teeth white as a bar of Ivory soap, a wee cap atop his head like a poached egg on an English muffin. He showed up at my house with George Brazil one day and never left.

Just kidding, he totally left. Never saw him again. Until now.

That's actually not true either. But anyway, he was in a band that changed its name to B C N C that I used to play with and he probably did some other stuff but what I am really blown away by these days is his art which I highly suggest you check out even though we don't mention it on the podcast. These days he's an indie rock power player who gets to do cool shit like go to the Grammys and pick which intern gets to wrinkle Justin Vernon's clothes.

I really enjoyed talking to him and consider this my finest podcast to date.

#keepitcrev

Please send any and all correspondence to coronatose@gmail.com

Our theme song is me crooning over "Neg-Fi" by Modern Leather

Our outro music is a version of "Persimmon Valley" by B C N C

Today is April 20th, and as you will learn in this episode, it has much more sinister connotations than just being a stoner holiday.

Dylan Angell started as my friend Noah's little brother in Durham, NC. He played trumpet in his room. That's about all I knew. Over the years he has become a friend completely separate from that.

As an adult, I thought of him as a model/musician/writer (#triplethreat) in New York, but honestly, you never really know with this guy, he could be anywhere, doing anything. Like, you ever see some documentary where they go in the jungle and find an ancient tribe undisturbed by modern bullshit and then a skinny white guy with a beard and a bandana emerges from a hut and you know have no idea what he's doing there? That's Dylan to me. He would probably disagree but I like having my fantasies.

Dylan currently resides in Mexico City, and since I started Coronatose I have been wanting to catch up with him and hear more about what he's up to and what life is like for him down there during this pandemic. As expected, he's thriving.

You can check out a bunch of his published work here and check out his new record with Ezra Noble here.

Please subscribe, rate, and review! Hit me up at coronatose@gmail.com whydoncha??

Our theme song is me crooning over "Neg-Fi" by Modern Leather

I love The Phantom Of The Opera.

Like, frfr.

In 2018, Ned Phillips and I recorded what would be our magnum opus as POTO fans: a painfully long podcast where we cover all the bases from the book to the movie to the stage show aka THE GREATEST MUSICAL OF ALL TIME. After collecting dust for the past 2 years, Ned finally took on the mission that I wasn't brave enough to tackle and edited our longform episode down to a scant 1.5 hours.

LISTEN TO THE FULL VERSION HERE

When I say we talk about it all, I mean it. From our own origin stories that led to our obsessions to a comparison of the novel to the musical to breakdowns of the characters' sideburns in the film version, we hit every talking point, even the Pink Floyd controversy.

Since we have clearly violated the shit out of some copyright law, please enjoy our podcast before we get a cease & desist order. Whether you are a new fan, an old fan, or just curious, buckle up for an emotional ride. Like, I get choked up just listening to this trailer. It is truly the G.O.A.T. 🐐

And for the record, I do totally get off on "The Music Of The Night".

Hank Stockard aka Said Deep is one of my best friends and is probably the most dedicated seeker of records I know, and that's saying a lot. The dude has been collecting, cataloging, and compiling non-stop for as long as Billie Eilish has been alive. I asked him to make a special all-vinyl mix for Coronatose and he did not hesitate for a second.

He says to me: "You want funky, something soothing, music to beat it to? Need a theme. Surrounded by piles of records."

So I says: "Tags: old school, funky, weird, skeletons, dust, cobwebs, fez hat, cobra, ancient ruins, saxophone, hash, heroin" (Seems I was channeling the Naked Lunch movie - shout out David Cronenberg.)

Then he says: "I got you, boo."

There are rumors Mr. Deep has a fully realized proper project on the way, so we'll let you know about that as soon we hear something. I'd say I have my fingers crossed but sometimes they hurt, maybe I have arthritis? Fuck, I'm old.

Dang, it's Easter Sunday. I used to go to church with my moms back in the day. Now I'm just sitting in my dirty pajamas working on my quarantine-themed podcast.

But instead of going to church, or not going, or doing whatever it is you do on a day like this, or any other day for that matter, please consider donating to any (and all!) of these GoFundMe campaigns.

These are my favorite places in the Chapel Hill/Carrboro area of North Carolina. I honestly don't go out that much because I'm a weirdo, but when I do, these are the spots I go to. And it's not just about keeping these places open, their employees need help, too. The service industry is hard af even in the best of times. Don't forget those who make it possible for you to go out and have some fun.

If you can't afford to donate, please help spread the word.

OCSC
GoFundMe
Instagram

The Cave
GoFundMe
Instagram

Bowbarr
GoFundMe
Instagram

Nightlight
GoFundMe
Instagram

Local 506
GoFundMe
Instagram

Service Industry Relief Fund of North Carolina

Our outro song is "A Day Without Fairies" by Bitter Resolve

Victoria Bouloubasis is a hard person to track down. I gave her a skateboard lesson on the street at 2 in the morning in 2008 and haven't seen her since. But she's been making the world a better and well-informed place this whole time. She is involved in so many things including the production of this show and the making of this film. But we don't talk about any of that! Instead, we focus on her very real experience with coronavirus, my experience with swine flu, and our shared experience with cancer. It sounds somber, and maybe it is, be we strive to use our rose-tinted glasses and keep the mood light, but informative.

We still need questions for Ask Huevos and stories for Quarantine Confessions. Please send any and all correspondence (and all the Bane-related coronavirus memes) to coronatose@gmail.com

Confirm the prowess of my Tommy Wiseau impression here. I usually can do it better but I haven't watched the clip in a while.

I can't believe I said it was March 🤦

Our theme song is me crooning over "Neg-Fi" by Modern Leather

Stu McLamb is not a "bad boy" nor a "boy toy" nor a "soy latte" ... he's just a cool guy I know that makes great music. We've been talking about doing a podcast episode since I started Coronatose so I'm glad I finally got him to take a break from his nonstop quarantine recording to sit in a creaky ass chair in his old bedroom at his parents' house and chop it up with me.

We talked for over an hour and actually got pretty deep in the last half, at least I feel like we did, we might have been drinking. The first half of that conversation is today's episode and the second half will very likely be a bonus episode ... if you're into two middle aged guys talking about why they're still single and whatever else we talked about toward the end, honestly I can't even remember.

I am in love with this Dry Spells record he just released so definitely check it out. He is also hard at work on Criswell Brushes, a new project with Al Riggs. Don't forget that you can help support artists (aka HUMAN BEINGS) by paying for their stuff! Stu is also doing mixing/mastering work for a sliding scale rate and you can slide into his DM's on Insta if you're interested.

#TheStu #CrizzyBrushies

For any and all Coronatose-y correspondence, hit us up at coronatose@gmail.com

Our theme song is me crooning over "Neg-Fi" by Modern Leather

Questions? Comments? 

Want to hit us up for either Ask Huevos or Quarantine Confessions?

The lines of communication are open at coronoatose@gmail.com

Today aka last night I talked to the mysterious A.U.T.U.M.N. from Moon Racer, a very private person who only comes out on full moons to feast on chicky nuggies. Obviously, with the quarantine, she has had to find other ways to feed herself. Apparently, the answer is: sweet potatoes.

But for real, one time we went to Trader Joe's so she could grocery shop and I think she bought turkey slices, a frozen thing, and four kinds of cheese.

I cuss too much so there is no way she is going to share this with anyone.

Shout out to Brotha Lynch Hung.

Be sure to hit us up at coronatose@gmail.com to share all your thoughts, opinions, and deepest darkest secrets. Need advice? Have an erotic story to share? Please help me make #AskHuevos and #QuarantineConfessions a reality.

Our theme song is me crooning over "Neg-Fi" by Modern Leather

My boy Laughlin aka Lockjaw is one of the sweetest guys out. He gives the best presents and he'll make you an amazing drink if you're willing to wait 30 to 45 minutes for him to hand-grind some limes. He's lived in New Orleans for the past 8 years and really knows what's going down in the hottest of hotbeds for COVID-19.

Join us for his reactions to the latest headlines from NOLA, some rap trivia, and how "fat washing" can improve the liquor you already have at home. It's not as gross as it sounds. It's not even gross!

The rats are really taking over them streets.

Our theme song is me crooning over "Neg-Fi" by Modern Leather

Last night I ate, like, a third-ish of an edible and ended up completely losing my shit. I'd like to think this is no rookie mistake here, just a bit of a fluke, but boy did I go down HARD. Panic city. Shout out to my heart for continuing to do what it do, despite the hell I put it through yesterday.

On this bonus ep I also shout out some upcoming guests aka people who pretty much said they'd do it. Laughlin will probably be too tired, Victoria will probably be too busy, and Stu will probably forget we talked about it but they are all potentially rad guests so I hope they all make it!

Fuck coronavirus.

Also, our last guest Matthew Park already received a letter of confirmation for the unemployment benefits he applied for on the 16th. Hopefully some of y'all have heard the same thing. And I guess "the stimulus package" was approved today? Gonna have to read about that one. Personally, all I can think about is someone stimulating my package. #nonutquarantine

North Carolina is officially on lockdown!

Our theme song is "Neg-Fi" by Modern Leather.