Don't Tell My Therapist

This week the girls gossip about Love is Blind, Avril Lavigne’s clone (we’re onto you, Melissa) and all things reality TV. If you’ve ever wanted to be famous, now is your chance — just date Sophia and apply to be on the Ultimatum. Send us a DM!

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Yes, we gave a man a microphone...but Jacob is one of the good ones, we swear! Tune in for a male perspective on Valentine's Day, dating icks, gift giving, and more. If you're seeking smutty book recommendations, you're in for a treat. But if you’re Jacob's parents – you might want to skip this one!

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This week, the groundhog predicts early spring and Sophia encounters a girl on a swing. The girls discuss Love on the Spectrum, relationship anxiety and the embarrassment of trying new things. Happy galentines to the girlies, remember to celebrate your friends and YOURSELF!!

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This week, Jenna and Sophia review Mean Girls, email Hinge customer service, and introduce the world to Nikko D’Ambrosio: Chicago’s least eligible bachelor.

Happy New Year! ‘Tis the season for engagements and you know what that means… time to compare yourself to others and spiral into a deep depression! (just kidding). This week the girls discuss their views on proposals, marriage, babies and more. We hope all of your New Year’s resolutions come true and that Jenna finally gets her “full body pic.”

Sophia has been back in America for about 5 minutes and she’s already almost been kidnapped – some things never change. Jenna makes a terrible first impression on her boyfriend’s family, cuddles her cat’s ashes, and teaches Sophia animal facts against her will.

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Bonjour! Things are heating up this week in more ways than one. Jenna is dating Pitbull and it's getting pretty spicy (literally), while Sophia makes a new, imaginary friend in Turkey and tries being the "cool girl" with her London "boyfriend." She's not delusional, we swear!

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For the 50th session, Jenna reveals that she kissed a girl (and she liked it). Meanwhile, Sophia has an odd encounter with a former porn star who claims to have slept with 4,270 women (rookie numbers). Jenna also reviews her first solo movie outing and Sophia rejects a man based on memes. Here's to the next 50 sessions!

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After the last self-help session, the girls resume their regularly scheduled programming. In Session 49, Jenna mourns the loss of her cat, confronts a ghost, and becomes an (alleged) stalker. Meanwhile Sophia celebrates her birthday in Budapest with a ball gag. Like we said, business as usual. Enjoy!

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In session 48, the girls introduce Sophia’s ex life coach, Ben Walker, for a lively discussion on procrastination — Ben has the insights to target the deep root of your procrastination issues so you can GET SHIT DONE! (hint: it’s a LOT deeper than being “lazy”). So, practice those mantras, pay that parking ticket and break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend because Ben (and Ariana Grande) said so.

• Follow Ben on Insta @benjoywalker for daily insights to help you live the life you want to live!

• More about Ben. Ben is a former musical theatre actor turned life coach for procrastinators.He specializes in getting to the root of people’s procrastination and perfectionism, and transforming that into a motivating action plan they’ll actually do, so they can reach their potential.

Session 47 goes international as the girls reunite in CROATIA! But first, Jenna makes an unexpected pit stop in Germany (it was her fault). The girls forage for crabs, Sophia fist fights an old lady, and Jenna challenges a Frenchman to a dance-off. YOU DON'T LIKE FRENCH KISS?

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Where do we even begin? Jenna is single, Sophia doesn't understand DNA, and the adult diaper community is out to get us. Welcome to the new era of the shitshow!

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Hi Barbie! This week, the girls share their thoughts on the Barbie movie and dream of being the hero on "What Would You Do?" Jenna sucks at Zumba, professionally claps back at a therapist, and fights her high school chemistry teacher. Meanwhile, Sophia realizes the mountain is her and cuts off her Manchester fling.

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This week, Jenna demonstrates her commitment to the bit and Sophia almost bleaches her butthole. The girls discuss the new grandpa Bachelor, getting hit on at a comedy festival, and Sophia takes the lesbian test. Want more from these geniuses? DM @donttellmytherapistpod on Instagram for some Unlicensed Advice!

We're sorry that Session 43 is late, we were stuck in traffic behind a herd of goats. This week, the girls kick off their new segment “Unlicensed Advice” and help a listener confront their stinky boyfriend. Sophia commits treason and spends the 4th of July in a spaceship in England, while Jenna enters her GTL era (Gym, TikTok, Lie down) and gets her very first tattoo. Oh, and if you happen to find her pants, please let us know.

Welcome to Session 42, where no goat goes unrecognized and no steakhouse is safe. This week, Jenna learns that daddy issues cause neck pain and her boyfriend gets a special birthday meat – I mean..."treat." Meanwhile, Sophia discovers she's an iPad baby and the girls let out their anger at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. Let us know if you see Pumpernickel in your neighborhood!

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This week, the girls identify their personal icks, Jenna gets framed for a shitty crime, and Sophia breaks up with her fake boyfriend. Remember to send in your submissions for our new segment! We’re still not doctors, but our therapy services are free of charge. No murder confessions plz.

Dear listeners,

Despite not having the bandwidth to record, we managed to show up as our authentic selves (for better or worse). To piggy back off of that, this week we tackle some very important questions. Do Italian men like butt stuff? What is Lindsay Lohan doing right now? What strange car will Sophia get into next and will she live to tell the tale? We'll circle back with you and let you know.

Best,
Jenna and Sophia

This week, Jenna and Sophia return to update you on life’s latest adventures. Sophia continues to galavant throughout Europe and live a thousand lifetimes — from hitching a ride on a motorcycle, to meeting a guy with a framed selfie hung up in his house — her days are far from uneventful. Back in the states, Jenna confronts a bird and helps Sophia evade prison. The girls discuss the dark side of solo travel as a woman and translate the word “no.” Oh, and if you’re Swedish, please don’t cancel us… we love your meatballs.

Surprise! Did you miss us? Did you even notice we were gone? Don't answer. This week, we get Morbid, experience international D, and turn down courtside seats to go to a disco. But hey, you DO only turn 27 once. This episode is definitely not sponsored by the Portland Trailblazers.