From the Nth POWER

Our lives are full of a lot of emotion these days. The way you feel can be validated by finding like people and communities who provide security, belonging or comfort. This is GOOD. Yet, these spaces of comfort can provide limited thinking and can enhance narrow minds, becoming a bubble because their purpose is to inflate a "safety zone." What happens when that bubble becomes destructive and you start to feel "apart from"? In other words, that bubble BURSTS. You may feel alone. HOW do you then figure out who you are or how to feel? If you're open, you can start to change your mind by finding a new space and new awareness of yourself. Awareness and action TOGETHER can help you express yourself in new ways. Maybe, then, you'll find new parts of yourself that you didn't know were there because you never questioned how you see things. Instead, you've always accepted others' opinions as your own.

A new perspective and experience will be created by questioning your decisions and experience. Question reality...it may not be real. Power comes from thinking for yourself after the bubble bursts. Making up your own mind is real freedom - the kind that CANNOT be taken away. 

Awareness, awareness, awareness. It's key and it's also not about you being aware of me, but me being aware of myself. What is it that awareness is supposed to do? Do we need more awareness when, in fact, there is more awareness than ever and things don't seem to be going away? It seems to me that the "awareness-building" media are creating more openings for more pleas for more awareness. But once I'm aware, what do I DO? Where does my awareness take me? Am I now qualified - because I understand more or am talking about it more - to help more people get more healthy? Does my awareness of something in the world help it become eradicated? Truth be told, is it possible that the problems that are plaguing us are not really being addressed? Is it likely that the problem is that these problems are multi-faceted...and EVEN SPIRITUAL in their essence?  The patterns in your thinking are conditioned by your experiences and the responses in your community to those experiences. Can it be that the solutions you were offered never really dived deep enough into what was happening in your thinking and emotions? Was what you learned missing something spiritual?

I'd like to propose that we need to increase spiritual health awareness instead of mental or emotional health awareness. What would happen in your life if you decided to seek a higher power instead of seeking another doctor or another pill? Solutions to human mental deficiencies and scary emotions can sometimes only be alleviated by something far greater and more deep than your own human understanding (or physiological solutions). If you decide never to explore this because of your pride and prejudice against God, you are missing out on a valuable and ongoing cathartic healing. It's more often about what's going on in your soul, not your head. The world is NOT responsible for how you feel, you are. Without a personal and autonomous purpose, feeling lost is automatic. Give time time. Open your mind. Start questioning the stupid shit that you think makes sense...

Your fulfillment of deep spiritual human needs can be compared to eating. We eat in gluttony and don't think about whether or not we're getting what we need. We "fill up" our well, but with things that leave us empty; we're not satisfied to our fullest human digestive state. When you eat empty calories, they fill up your stomach and you'll be satisfied momentarily, but it will trigger an addictive cycle of wanting more. Material fulfillment is like that - it's empty and fundamentally dissatisfying. Nothing is stored for later and nothing is balanced. You don't have enough of macronutrients, the pieces of nutrition that create full satiety. When you're not fulfilling your need for deep spiritual connection, you're forever hungry and you're living a half-life that is stressful and disconnected. Smooth, connected satiation is something you only dream about, staying hungry for another car, relationship or money that will scratch that itch. This is the root of fear and unhappiness where you can no longer give yourself the satisfaction of your desires. It is a chronic escapism of what IS. 

Why are you struggling so much? Your barrel/well that you keep trying to fill up with "stuff" has a hole in the bottom and you keep scraping for more of what you can't reach. The container that is YOU needs a balm for the loneliness that's been fueled by low self-esteem. Low self-esteem resides in your thinking and is waiting to tell you that you'll never fill the barrel and that you're still not enough. The stuff you've been taught to fill the barrel with is the vapid-who-you-think-you-are that rules your life...your job, where you live, who you're married to, what your kids look like. These "feathers" can never completely fill a barrel. The more you focus on them, the easier they float to the bottom. A foundation of true self-respect and self-esteem is the only way to fill the hole AND the well. The full well is who you're meant to be. That fullness ABSOLUTELY NEEDS CONNECTION! Don't let negativity and scarcity become darkness and feed your demons. Your life should be steeped in deeper consciousness, larger purpose and vision which will determine how you truly feel within your highest self. From there you'll see face to face what you fear and you'll surrender to a release that will bring the peace you crave. 

Sometimes I feel disappointed in what I see as weakness, and I'm not talking about expressing feelings, nor about strength. Sensitivity is human and far from weak. What makes me weak is what I do with what's happening with me and how I feel. When you don't address feelings by taking responsibility and owning what's happening to YOU from within YOU - you lack courage. No one is "making" you feel anything and believing so by assigning blame to others is a form of weakness. If your feelings cause another feeling of weakness, that may be because you haven't been present to these feelings before. Vulnerability is beautiful but when you start talking about having boundaries or working on self-care, you're probably assigning meaning to another and not REALLY being vulnerable. Just because you express your feelings you don't necessarily have a consciousness that is power because you're still waiting for responsibility to come from someone else. You'll never pinpoint how you can grow and become powerful when you're complacent and waiting for others to act. Courage is stepping up and not playing the game. "The Game" is you being obese with self - in your opinions, arrogance and the vapid nature of your weakness. Once you're weak and then you wait on the world to change, you're on your way to a slow death of unhealthy finger-pointing and attachments. You think you know what should happen and you're not acting on what you believe is right. Don't be an entitled idiot...aspire, be motivated, indulge in integrity, seek the highest love. The highest love is your spiritual nature. Stand in that nature and BE. 

Limiting beliefs and excuses put up roadblocks to your dreams. And our society reinforces these falsehoods all the time. Just look around at those living their dreams. They refuse to believe what people would say to keep them down or limited. People's masks are telling you that you can succeed, while showing you all the things you should be warned about the potholes that will stumble and harm you. The message is "keep yourself safe", "don't risk", "take it easy". AND if you think outside the box, you might be identified by people - even those closest to you that you've known all your life - may start to think you're crazy. But ARE you crazy, or have you been freed from pervasive social fears that have been ruling your life and keeping you stuck? Your main focus in life should be to cut ties to your limiting ideas. Once you are freed from this thinking, your path becomes a new game to play. Get excited about your life, about what you want to achieve. STOP listening to people who are afraid of you being "all that" Who DO you think you are? The answer should be Greatness...because that's who we ALL are. Your failure is seeds for success, as a freed and humble servant of life. 

How do you find answers? Do you automatically, when struggling or seeking, go within and negatively over-examine or do you quickly seek answers from others before any self-introspection? There are many self-help modalities built on dialogue, commonly known as shooting the shit. Education, also, is a form of trading ideas. No matter what the modality, these types of conversational self-help are a great catharsis because, of ourselves, we cannot fully find our own answers. When you have a problem, if you go to therapy or get coaching, for example, you're affording someone else the intention to get to know you and help you find YOUR OWN answers. The opportunity there, for me as a coach, is to get people to see themselves more clearly and honestly to open windows within them. However, if you - or any client - is not being honest, you cannot expect to find answers. The coach's job, in a therapy of words, is to allow a client to grow in their self-awareness through language, finding words and having free-flow conversation. There is a lightness, being, power and freedom for those who seek and talk with honesty and clarity. They find liberation through a sense of higher consciousness. This freedom affords a surrender that has more answers than one can find from self or any other PERSON. When you find the capacity for presence, you realize you know more than you thought you did. Your feelings now have clarity, meaning and purpose. You are alive. You are changing. THEN go change the world.

When situations present themselves and you don't like what you see, you probably want the easy way out - which is usually just to listen to others and follow along with the predominant messaging or what "they" tell you to do.. Yet, what will that net you in finding truth? What will you sacrifice in terms of your own confidence when you can't make up your own mind? When a larger group pushes an agenda, and you are in conflict, you'd be wise to go to the people you know whom you can ask "What do you think I should do?" and their response is "What do YOU think you should do?" The building blocks of self-esteem are created from ignoring those who want to tell you what to do. It will be HARD to find peace and clarity in the midst of people who yell and scream for fear that a person making up their own mind is dangerous. In this podcast, I look at Covid vaccination and social justice as two subjects around which I had deeper questions outside the "normal" scope of simple acceptance of what I was being told about how to think. The larger dialogues aren't always the best or most forward-thinking dialogues, I've found. But those questions I ask myself find me the right place to be truthful and helpful - even transformational - as I seek to change my world one conversation and one day at a time. These important conversations need the creation of unlimited potential for power and change. 

Catharsis is the purging of emotions or the alleviation of emotional tensions. Metamorphosis is change of form or substance. Catharsis should lead to metamorphosis if the alleviation of emotions or the eradication of emotional tensions is followed up by action. That action should naturally lead to change within once your inner tension has been released. When you purge emotions, you are releasing hormones AND stuck energy. Catharsis begins a spiritual process that MOVES energy for your improvement. You can change your own substance by catharsis followed by metamorphosis. Until I relieve myself of emotional tension, I can't see the path ahead. That path needs actions to define where you're going to go, and how you're going to do things differently. Metamorphosis will eventually come if you remain open.

What is true happiness to you? Is it an excited feeling or the presence of calm? When you're happy does it mean things are going your way and life is good? Or is there more to it...such as the idea that brokenness can bring on ever greater happiness? Real happiness - in a power sense - is the presence &  awareness of peace of mind. For some, the belief that happiness should be ever-present is what brings more dark/lack thinking. When happiness eludes you, do you think there's something intrinsically wrong with you? Well, let me tell you, you're wrong about that, LOL. Happiness "feels" most embedded within not when I'm excited, but when I'm calm. On the one hand, too much happiness can create imbalance and leave you with an emotional hangover. On the other hand, when negative thoughts pervade peace of mind, most people experience unhappiness, but this is not the whole picture of reality outside your pleasure-seeking mind. Peace is a powerful connection of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Happiness can also be being broken over things that make you unhappy and tear apart your ego and intellectual headiness. We need more reliance from the sixth sense of our own fully integrated power. To conclude, power is also in the harsh realities that we've perpetrated on each other. Every time we break, we open up new evolutions of greater intrinsic power. New seeds are being planted for true dynamic power. I can't wait to see what will happen next for us. 

Are you a confused modern woman like me? What type of energy do you as a woman express in your life? Do you doubt your femininity because you don't fit a mold of the traditional woman - but you don't know how to define what feminine means to you? The ultimate goal of the feminine, in all of our lives and society, is to infuse its deeply intuitive resourcefulness into more places that are imbalanced - no matter who we are and how our feminine expresses itself. This does not mean to give more positions of leadership to women because leadership is about balancing energies. Without the equilibrium of true personal power, there will still be a lack of masculine/feminine ying/yang in too many aspects of our society. The society I've been a part of has missed out on using and creating more space for assertive and powerful feminine energy. What would feminine leadership or feminine partnership look like if my success depended on intuitively matching another's energy? The feminine is absolutely powerful enough to adapt itself without losing itself. Being successful means partnering with someone for that person's growth and peace of mind. Within each of us there ARE strong energies that match whatever role we're being asked to play for the benefit of ALL. The feminine is creation itself, we need to give it the power it deserves.

Manipulation takes many forms, but why would we be trying so hard to manipulate our reality to be mediocre or stuck? There is a great force moving through the world to be yourself...express yourself...live how you wish. Personal expression is fantastic. What is challenging, however, is that people can't be the fullest expression of themselves if they don't know who they are. If you're seeking a goal but you don't know where you're going, it's easy to settle into mediocrity. And, mediocrity isn't about not being OK where you are. I know it's true that you must accept being stuck before you can grow or move ahead. Yet, settling in when you won't try to change is accepting a powerlessness that will KEEP you stuck. When things are hard and you overcome them you become stronger, you're not mediocre nor as vulnerable. When you submit to the dark energy within you and stay in that mediocrity, you become ill. Don't get OK being mediocre when your spirit demands you grow to higher heights. You don't have to run marathons or become the next Einstein. You just want to keep doors open for your increased sense of being alive and to allow you to become more of the you you REALLY want to be. Mediocrity is another form of fear. 

We all know about "What You DON'T Know Won't Hurt You", which means don't ask or seek to find out what other people are saying about you that may not feel good, because the aggravation isn't necessary. Let people say what they want when you're not around; you don't want it to drain your power. Yet, there are little things that you believe and don't question (traditions, beliefs, conditioning) that are laying under the surface of your consciousness and driving your behavior and your life - and you don't know they're there. Not coming to consciousness and understanding how these things propel your beliefs, your opinions, your relationships and feelings is NOT knowing about what will hurt you. This is true because some of these limiting beliefs, biases and stereotypes are holding you back and putting you into resentment in ways that steal your power. It will prevent you from having success and healthy relationships. How do you change the vibe that is drawing these harmful subconscious/unknown ideas into your life? You seek consciousness and humility. You seek higher power and energy. You question your negative attitudes toward others. Power will bring you situations - sometimes painful ones - that create the opportunity to become conscious and free. Know your history and the ideas that have been passed onto you that will keep you stuck...even harm you and stall all spiritual growth. 

So many of us are looking more closely at our beliefs - especially around culture and race. While we're looking for "answers", personal experience is causing many to feel defensive in their lack of understanding of broader issues. Then there are those who are certain they know the answer - and that there is a larger problem that is "someone else's" (probably those people who don't get it, or are being defensive). This energy is particularly curious for me because I want to know the thoughts, opinions and predominant beliefs of all those around me. We ARE different. How much of us are creating the larger dialogue and present reality while claiming to want to dismantle it? The most outspoken can often be the most guilty. Predominant ideas circle and return again each time society has changed as people continue to hold to stereotypes because of fear fed by messaging that sets us apart. Yes, we're different, but we're also all human and we won't be able to see that unless we increase our power by seeing ourselves in our experiences and allowing ourselves to tell the truth in intimate conversations. We cannot continue to fear "the other"; self-honesty must deconstruct our limiting beliefs and cease the payment of buying into false walls. Take what you like in finding the value in those who are not like you. Learn about others, make friends, open up, seek to understand and identify from the inside out. 

The ISMs that I'm talking about here are those of sexism and racism. What I'd like to talk about here is how those structures in the world that create imbalance and powerlessness, but also how I am seeking balance and power as I show up as a woman and a white person and am trying to grow my own sense of personal power. As a caveat of explanation, I feel a strong sense of responsiblity in growing my power to understand what this dialogue looks like in the world and in systems and how that may be aligned or different from how those ISMs show up in my personal experience and the experience of people I want to connect with and help grow. In the work world, I will not explain myself as a woman and I don't subscribe to the belief that men in business lord over me in any way. In fact, tapping into my feminine energy makes business better overall. Historically speaking, it's just been hard for many women to do that in a domain which was dominated by men. Notice I say dominated, not controlled. I don't believe a man - or structures developed along masculine energy lines can control me. This is because feminine energy, by it's very nature, leads by moving, dancing, flowing and nurturing the masculine to procreate balance in energy that becomes whole. Everyone knows when this energy is present - it's called true leadership and it can come from a woman or man. And it can be destroyed by a woman or man who is misaligned and out of balance. Lastly, as pertains to racism (and sexism), it's about opportunity seen, not individual unhealthy and biased behavior that would work against you as an individual. Power is THERE...take it and own it. There's no need to give it away to anyone. The shame is that there never was

When you debate - especially the more contentious modern day subjects - it is hard for anyone, once emotional, to hold their own. Debate, if you can be met, can be exhilirating, informing and convincing if you are capable of feeling stupid. Are you strong enough to see the loopholes in your own position? Are you capable of allowing the petty nature of your emotional insecurities to make you feel small and stupid...and to let it go? Passion about what you feel or your point of view is great, but when your emotions rule the communication, you may more easily lose the interest and connection of the other person. When you need to WIN - you'll lose more of yourself than you'd like, most importantly, self-esteem. Yes, persuasion/debate/argument can be highly emotional and it can also be a strong educational tool when you stay in the game and your emotions become something useful instead of just something that drain you of energy and power. Emotions can become the foundation of impactful lessons. Stay in the communication, feel your ignorance and see how much more you can win by not needing to win at all. 

Your awakenings - when they first happen - are like new relationships. You're learning about yourself and expanding your capacity for gratitude and love. You're life feels exciting. Then things get routine, and maybe you get bored. THAT is when you should start serving others. When you serve others and share with them what happened to you and how, you RE-LIVE your awakenings while watching others wake up. You feel power as you see the light come on in people's eyes. You know the light burns strong, finding additional homes in more of your cells, which helps you heal and release additional stuck energies. The love you share flows like an infinity pool. Transitioning into the area of romantic relationships, a recent break up left me feeling like my love tank was empty and I did not have the capacity to re-fill it. In a new experience, I see today that I was the person I left and I am now watching this new person be who I was in my past relationship. It's quite the revelation, separating me from my grief and also allowing me to feel the loss of love other people don't have from within themselves. In order to fill the love tank - again and again - like an infinity pool - one must let go, surrender to the grief and allow life to provide new seeds of love for more growth. Love is an energy that cannot be stuck. Your ability to love again, depends on giving it away to keep it. It's about the infinity of forgiveness.

Normalcy, often correlated with tradition, can be an expectation. You go along, you fit in a box, you do what others did or are doing because...why wouldn't you? But if you wake up one day and discover that what's normal and helps you "belong" is now unattractive or scary, THEN what do you do? It's time to redefine normal by changing traditional expectations...of YOURSELF. However, when you break out, it's going to feel dark, lonely and even dangerous as your ego tells you to belong...to not stray too far. If you won't challenge yourself to think for yourself you settle into being normal - and often depressed from never finding your depth by walking through the challenges of life. Breaking away from normalcy can be painful and also enlightening. If you shy away from your true self, the fitting in you settle for is a half-life of half-happiness. AND you'll still have challenges, which your insides will be constantly afraid of. So YOU choose, safe but fearful or risky and free.  

A prick of the heart can change your life without someone trying to change YOU. As a Boston friend said, "I'm gonna prick their haaahts" - which was a way to nudge or prod his children to take action, or "do the right thing." This prick is the puncture of a small idea into another person, WITHOUT pressing. It isn't about controlling other people. It is NOT about you knowing better what someone else should do. Rather, it is about planting a seed into becoming a small gut-feeling that cares or is connected to others. Someone's sense of responsibility cannot be taken away... but I can exercise an obligation to point to LOVE. Some slight re-frame may provoke someone to think for themselves. This is a concerned and loving - but hands off - way of being present. No fixing, no doing for, no taking away one's right to handle their own lives. Leaving someone alone allows them to know when they know. What follows is the beauty of freedom. 

When you came to realize who you are, you may or may not have accepted or liked what you realized. You asked if it reflected your ideals or values, which is when you also started to question your reality and experience something different. At that point your experience became your greatest teacher. You set in motion wheels of change from within and the world responded. Situations and experiences were mirrored toward your thoughts. Teachers of your goals start showing up that you can relate to because they are only slightly ahead on the path you wish to travel. In other words, they've experienced the next step. You find out what they thought and did and you decide to follow the wisdom of their experience. Think about it - when was the last time you wanted to change and thought you couldn't but when you saw someone who DID (aka experienced it), you knew you could. Know that the experience of the highest value in your existence is to use power to stand FOR what you want to experience, rather than against what you no longer desire. When you desire to change you life, first, change your mind and then act differently. Your efforts to re-experience something new with the confidence of a higher power will win in the end, no matter how long it takes.