Hard Choices

We at Hard Choices like to think we have our fingers on the throbbing pulse of pop culture, so when Baldur's Gate 3 won just about every Game of the Year award purely out of how horny it made everyone, we knew we couldn't pass up the opportunity to explore the delicious nooks and sweaty crannies of the Sword Coast through the lens of this groundbreaking, bed-shaking trilogy. Join Dan, Maq, Miles, and Meganbob as we ask: which heroes and villains are we saving our highest-level spell slots for, and which ones are we leaving behind in the deservedly Forgotten Realms? When everything from vampires to mind flayers to actual bears are on the table, is any monsterfucker truly safe? And most importantly, how do we feel about possibly having a miniature giant space hamster secretly watching our every thrust and gasp?

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire, including updates about the upcoming LIVE Bad Choices - Hanna-Barbera recording on Saturday, April 20th at 5pm Pacific!

Hard Choices on Patreon
Instagram: hardchoicespod
TikTok: @hardchoicespod
Tumblr: hardchoicespod
Twitter: @hardchoicespod


Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):  
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https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
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https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
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https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
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https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
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https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed
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https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz
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NOTE: You want a calendar with shirtless Irish farmers on it? Naturally, you do. Throw $4.20 at Hard Choices and get entered to win one of these three perfect pieces of useful wall art.

It was just another quiet day in the Soul Society until Hard Choices rolled up, ready to find out exactly how much reishi everyone has under those robes! Kurotsuchi probably already knows the answer to that question, but his methods for finding out just aren't personal enough for Neal Butler, Kit, MeganBob, and TikTok legend Cosplayfiend! Only working through our list to find out who fucks like every move is their Bankai and who fucks like they'd really rather be doing a training montage can give us the dark knowledge we crave.

Just how insufferable is Gin's creepy self-satisfaction? How sexy is a basket-wearing wolfman? How much do all of us want to lay our heads on Shunsui's very hairy chest? You can only find the answers to these questions by going on a journey that's almost as long as the entirety of BLEACH, but don't worry, we won't make you learn about Bounts.

Join us as we take one of the Big Three among anime and give it the working over that no amount of cheesecake pinups and sexy cosplay could have prepared you for. Cosplayfiend is already TikTok legend for his takes on some of these sword-swingers, so don't miss that either.

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire!

Hard Choices on Patreon
Instagram: hardchoicespod
TikTok: @hardchoicespod
Twitter: @hardchoicespod
Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social
Gmail: hardchoicespod@gmail.com

Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):  
https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me
 License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
 License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
 License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY  
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
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https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
 License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML  
https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
 License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
 License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW  
https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed
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https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up
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https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz
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Big government isn't sexy. But small government? Local government? That government where you can get right up close and see the process unfolding. That government where you can run into your city councilor at the gym? Or at the local liquor store? Or trying to bribe a raccoon for votes? That's the kinda government you can get down and dirty with.

This month, Hard Choices visits the recent past with a trip to Pawnee, Indiana. Yes, the bright-eyed innocence and the can-do attitude that believes yes, holes can be filled. We rounded up Kam Servo, Owen Winters, Kris Newton, and MeganBob to break a few noise ordinances (and one about keeping your pets on a leash.)

Whether you're hot for Ron Swanson, April Ludgate, or genuinely ready to take the biggest dick in Pawnee, courtesy of JerryGaryLarry, this episode has you covered.

Hard Choices: It's horniness you can believe in!

(And the outtakes are normally only on Patreon, but I couldn't resist leaving them in as a little December giftie - MBob)

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire!

Hard Choices on Patreon
Instagram: hardchoicespod
TikTok: @hardchoicespod
Twitter: @hardchoicespod
Gmail: hardchoicespod@gmail.com

Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):  
https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me
 License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
 License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
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https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
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https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
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https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
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https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
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https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed
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https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up
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https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz
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https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it
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https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/dust
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Hard Choices swept through all of the 80's cartoons you know and love to select the cream of the crop (and Allo from Dinosaucers) to make sure that this episode is peak after peak. You can expect Big Feels aplenty from Hub, Annie Craton, Meganbob, and host, Kris Newton, as they get vocal about Cobra Commander, Master Splinter, Gadget, and Krang. Never has a group of characters cried out so powerfully for us to ask "how good is the sex and what is it like?" and we can promise that you'll get some answers that will make you gasp, laugh, and maybe even rush to AO3 for a fanfic fix. 

The video of the panel, slideshow, and individual rankings are publicly available on Patreon! Check it out here to see our adorable faces!

Video and audio of the panel was recorded live at Rose City Comic Con 2023, courtesy of Derek Conrad of the Bugs Need Heroes podcast. Check it out here!

"Hottest Female up in Whoville" can be found here!

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire!

Hard Choices on Patreon
Instagram: hardchoicespod
TikTok: @hardchoicespod
Twitter: @hardchoicespod
Gmail: hardchoicespod@gmail.com

Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):  
https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me
 License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
 License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
 License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY  
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
 License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
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https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
 License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
 License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW  
https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed
 License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM  
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up
 License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R  
https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz
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https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it
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https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/dust
License code: W2S2RPXGLVQIUO8J

On September 3rd, 2023, four plucky perverts disappeared into the depths of the Internet while recording a podcast about their yearning to fuck cryptids.

One month later, their audio was found.
(Then, the editor spent three weeks making it listenable. Two of the hosts were sick and the other two were sharing a microphone, so there are probably some errant thumps and sniffles, but let's not speak ill of the mysteriously vanished.)

This episode is dedicated to

the four brave blur-chasers whose pursuit of the unknown (i.e., their desire to fuck Mothman ASAP) cost them what they held most dear (i.e, the possibility of fucking Mothman in the future).

Can something be simultaneously wholesome, horny, and hilarious? Only if you're the Hard Choices podcast. Hard Choices looks at the bedroom skill of fictional characters and asks "how good is the sex and what is it like?" What does that sound like as a podcast? Buddy, this trailer takes you through some highest highs and most unbelievable lows of ranking the f*ckability of fictional characters.

If you've ever thought that Miss Piggy was a pillow princess or that Ra's al Ghul was a Daddy, this show is for you. If you like this trailer, pick any episode that piques your interest and give it a try! The episodes are standalone and don't require listening in any order or that you listen to all of them so grab what calls to you!

And if you're already a regular listener but you want to get new folks into it, this is an easy way to share what you love about the show with friends! 

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire! 
Hard Choices on Patreon
Instagram: hardchoicespod
TikTok: @hardchoicespod
Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social

If Shakespeare were alive today, he would have a podcast. What kind, you ask? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it would feature iambic pentameter, stirring monologues, wall-to-wall dirty jokes, and flexible attitudes towards sex and gender. Holy shit, is MeganBob Shakespeare?! Maybe so, because all of those things appear in this Hard Choices episode about the works of the Bard! Lend us your ears as Dan Mulkerin, Cate Osborn (aka Catieosaurus), and Stella Cheeks join Bob not to praise 21 of Shakespeare's most memorable characters, but to bone them. Which of Shakespeare's characters has the best drugs? Which one is, for better or worse, the crustiest? Which one do we want to lick our boots, and which one's boots do we want to lick? If you're looking for definitive answers... well, listen to these two hours of sound & fury and see how that works out for you.

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire, including updates about the upcoming LIVE Hard Choices recording at Rose City Comic Con on Sunday, September 24th at 4pm! 
Hard Choices on Patreon
Instagram: hardchoicespod
TikTok: @hardchoicespod
Tumblr: hardchoicespod
Twitter: @hardchoicespod


Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):  
https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me
 License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
 License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
 License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY  
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
 License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
 License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML  
https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
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https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
 License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW  
https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed
 License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM  
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up
 License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R  
https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz
 License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY
https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it
 License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

We have a date and time for our Rose City Comic Con live show: Sunday, September 24th from 4-5 PM in room D135-136! Come see the show, hear us rank 80s cartoon characters, get your free gift baggie, and hang out with us!

From a dank jail cell, where they are being interrogated by the Seekers of Truth (who may end up learning more truths than they bargained for), MeganBob hosts Hard Choices: Dragon Age Edition!

Hornier than a whole platoon of Qunari warriors, MeganBob is joined by Elven Ranger Annie Craton, mononymous Human Bard Maquenzie, and the very best nug in Thedas, Kit, as they plumb the depths of the Deep Roads, scale the peaks of the Frostback Mountains, and stroll across the Elvish Dales in search of the most fuckable denizens of the Dragon Age universe.

On the way, we discover:

• The pros and cons of Loghain’s ass
• Spoiler alert for an 8-year-old DLC
• How many movie references can Annie make?

Guest starring Neal Butler as The Seeker, who was cut from the list in order to be fair to the rest of the characters.

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire, including updates about the upcoming LIVE Hard Choices recording at Rose City Comic Con on Sunday, September 24th at 4pm! 

Hard Choices on Patreon
Instagram: hardchoicespod
TikTok: @hardchoicespod
Tumblr: hardchoicespod
Twitter: @hardchoicespod
Gmail: hardchoicespod@gmail.com

Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):  
https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me
 License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
 License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
 License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY  
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
 License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
 License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML  
https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
 License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
 License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW  
https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed
 License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM  
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up
 License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R  
https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz
 License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY
https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it
 License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

We all know that with great power comes great responsibility. You know what else comes with great power? Us when we think about Spider-Man!

It's not just Peter Parker who makes our web-shooters go thwip, either; he's got a huge cast of friends, foes, and supporting characters to suit every taste, from monsterfucks like Venom, to adorable loser fucks like The Shocker, to the jackpot herself, Mary Jane. This episode, your friendly neighborhood MeganBob pushes DEEP into the Spiderverse to find the median, the zenith, and the nadir of its fuckability, all with the help of: The Amazing Annie Craton! The Spectacular James D'Amato! And Dan Mulkerin from an alternate reality where he never lost his Captain Universe powers!

IN THIS ISSUE:

Dan single-handedly promotes Tombstone from D-tier to Daddy-tier
MeganBob discovers the only bad way to listen to "The Cruel Angel's Thesis"
Annie lets Carnage's gooey appeal blind her to his, you know, everything else
And James finally takes a public stance on whether eating boys is wrong!

Hard Choices on Patreon
Instagram: hardchoicespod
TikTok: @hardchoicespod
Tumblr: hardchoicespod
Twitter: @hardchoicespod


Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):  
https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me
 License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
 License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
 License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY  
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
 License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
 License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML  
https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
 License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
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https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed
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https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up
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https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz
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https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it
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Hard Choices is coming to Portland, Oregon for Rose City Comic Con, September 22-24th!

We'll pass on the information about the day and time as soon as we find out when we'll be performing. I'll update again here and on the Hard Choices social media! It's brand new and I'm still figuring some of it out, but come say hi!

Twitter
Instagram
TikTok

In 1994, Disney's Gargoyles glided into the preteen hearts of the afternoon cartoon crowd, appealing to us in ways we wouldn't fully comprehend for years to come: its borrowings from Shakespeare, for example, and the unfamiliar yearning that Demona's loincloth made us feel. Nearly thirty years later, we are no longer children, and we have put away childish things in favor of podcasts about childish things. At last, we're ready to engage the undeniable horniness of this 90's cartoon and imagine what a night of passion with a gargoyle (or a Disney Afternoon delight with Elisa Maza) would be like. Get ready for Annie Craton, Kris Newton, Lilian Carlisle, and MeganBob to unleash decades of pent-up thirst for some of their most formative monsterfucks.

To sign up for Bad Choices - Square Enix on Saturday, June 24th at 6pm Pacific/9pm Eastern (as well as the preshow, The Squeenix Squabble), either sign up for the Hard Choices Patreon at the $4.20 level to be registered automatically, or buy a ticket direct from the event page by clicking here. Don't forget to use the promo code EGGPLANT for $2 off if you buy before Tuesday, June 20th!

Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):  
https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me
 License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
 License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
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https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
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https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
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https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
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https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
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https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed
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https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up
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https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz
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https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it
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Chuck Jones and Mel Blanc couldn't have guessed what we'd do when we got our hands on their creations. To be honest, I'm not sure we could have guessed either. That's the power of alcohol! Join Annie Craton, Dan Mulkerin, Kris Newton, and MeganBob for a Chungus of an episode that's full of bad choices. The takes are more explosive than a warehouse full of Acme products and the descent into drunken chaos will leave you satisfied in ways that not even the Tazmanian Devil himself could match. For your safety and the safety of others, please do not listen to this while operating heavy machinery. Frankly, listening to it in public may just be a bad idea full stop. 

Notes:
If you want to hear the rest of this episode right this moment, then click here to join the Hard Choices Patreon! You can hear the other ninety dang minutes of this beast, along with hours and hours of bonus episodes and outtakes for a mere $1.69 a month! Nice! 

If you want to see Bad Choices - Square Enix go down on June 24th at 6PM Pacific/9PM Eastern on Crowdcast, you can either subscribe to Patreon at $4.20 a month and I'll add you to the event or you can buy a ticket direct from the event page by clicking here. Don't forget to use the promo code Eggplant! 

Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me
License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ

https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW

https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
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https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
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https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
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https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y

https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW

https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed
License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM

https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up
License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R

https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz
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https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it
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https://uppbeat.io/t/ill-kitchen/black-life
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https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed
License code: C1WTYZUQK0DNEDFT

You arrive at the opulent podcast of Mr. MeganBob to find yourself surrounded by three of their most dubious acquaintances: Dan Mulkerin, Lillian Carlisle, and Kris Newton. Apparently, they've all been summoned to rank the fuckability of characters from the classic mystery board game (and cult film) Clue. However, something seems... off. These hosts are keeping secrets, and when foul play disrupts the evening, the suspects' stories don't quite add up. It's as though one or all of these shady podcasters are vile liars and murderers! Or perhaps MeganBob got busy this month during prime podcast recording time, and this episode is weird to compensate! Regardless, there's nothing we can do but act normally -- perv on Professor Plum, gush about Chef White, fall into horny rapture about doe-eyed subs who want to be pounced on -- and wait for the final summation to reveal who did it to MeganBob, where, and with what. Or at least which board game characters three nerds are hot for.

Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):  
https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  
License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  
License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  
License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY  
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  
License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  
License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML  
https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  
License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y  
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  
License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW  
https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  
License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM  
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It's time to leave the battlefield and enter the bedroom, because this episode of Hard Choices sees our hosts visiting the wide and wild multiverse of Magic: the Gathering! We've got elves, gorgons, vampires, golems, dragons, and more--and all of them are DTF! We've drawn Claire, Dan, Kit, and Meganbob to ask: Which characters are we putting into the command zone of our boners? Which are we consigning to the graveyard of our disinterest? And, perhaps most importantly, which color of Magic can absolutely get it? Tap this episode to find out!

By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks!

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The Tarot! The mystery and magic of life's journey have never been so adeptly captured in any other collection of cards, except maybe Yu-Gi-Oh. In this episode, three spirits penetrate the Tarot's mystery and make some magic as they rank the fuckability of the Major Arcana. Dan Mulkerin weaves tales of infuriatingly excellent and crushingly mediocre fucks; Kris Newton, safely deceased and heedless of privacy, interprets the cards in light of his personal sexual history; and MeganBob sacrifices their very brand to espouse the sexiness of earnest, responsible love. Most importantly, we've got part-time fortune-teller Kit (complete with part-time accent) to command the spirits with the big deck energy such a task demands.

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RECORD SCRATCH sound effect

A SoundEffectsFactory original production & recording made for YouTube

Webster's dictionary defines 'median' as "a value in an ordered set of values below and above which there is an equal number of values." Webster's dictionary doesn't define 'fuckability' because Webster was a nerd. Do you know who isn't a nerd? The four guests who stepped up to tackle every single median that Hard Choices has fucked its way through. Dan Mulkerin, Kit, Zadkiel, and MeganBob round up every median from the past 21 episodes of Hard Choices and give them a second chance in the sack. 

If trying to sort through the likes of Toucan Sam, Gandalf, and Brienne of Tarth in our quest to find the median of medians sounds like a good time to you, then get yourself a bowl of thematically appropriate plain yogurt, hit download, and enjoy! 

By the way! March 15th, 2023 is Bad Choices, the live and intoxicated version of Hard Choices, and it goes down through Patreon livestream for all $4.20 patrons! You'll get to participate in Let's Upack That among other perks that you'll find out about at patreon.com/hardchoices!

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Gather round, heroes, and hear tell of the largest swords, roundest orbs, and hottest dragons ever seen in the land of Krynn! Experienced adventurers Meganbob, Miles, and Dan are joined by level 1 neophyte Neal Butler--but worry not, Neal is a dirty min-maxer and has no trouble keeping up with the horny analysis all four hosts bring to this special episode. Which Hero of the Lance captures our hearts and boners, and which are we abandoning to the Abyss? What sorts of books does Astinus the Chronicler keep in the restricted area of the library? And does anyone actually want to bone Lord Soth? Listen and find out!

Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

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You may escape the heart of the underworld, boy, but you will never escape the throbbing heart of horniness! In fact, this might be the horniest episode of Hard Choices ever, as Annie Craton, Claire Mulkerin, and Zadkiel join MeganBob in ranking the fuckability of the gods and legends from Hades, the roguelike from Supergiant Games. They start with the median and work their way down to the nadir, but then the drama aeschylates quickly as they work their way up to the zenith, where each host sings the praises of the Olympian they're most eager to mount. Prepare, you who toil in Tartarus, to pause in your work and spill tears (or other bodily fluids) for this ode to a Grecian urge! We hope you find it.... cathartic.

By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks!

Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

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Attention, citizens of Gotham! We regret to inform you that the inhabitants of Arkham Asylum roam your streets tonight, and that your beloved hero Batman will not be coming to your rescue!

But you know who WILL be coming? That's right, it's tonight's Hard Choices hosts! We may not have a lifetime of martial arts training and a belt full of strongly themed gadgets, but if being a hero means having to fuck our way to victory over every last one of these costumed weirdos, then Meganbob, James D'Amato, Elle Collins, and Chris Sims are most assuredly the heroes Gotham deserves!

By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks!

Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

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